What If Instead Of Billy Lying About Everyone In His Civilian Life, He Just Tells The Truth But Doesn’t

*wheezes*

I had to draw it

Alien: how are you doing that task with your eyes closed?

Human, knitting with their eyes closed: muscle memory.

Alien: muscle what now?

Human, opening their eyes: our muscles learn how to perform tasks without us thinking about it. So I can close my eyes while I knit because I know how a stitch should feel, and my muscles can do it with very little visual supervision.

Alien: you can do regular tasks without seeing what you're doing? You just do these tasks automatically? Because your muscles have their own brain?? That's terrifying!

Human: that's not quite...

Alien: fucking terrifying

Human: OK yeah sure that's how it works. Why not.

this is *sniff* truly beautiful

hit the tumblr image limit but you can find the full presentation here 

enjoy!!

listen to this while you read it for the full experience

girl (?) talk

Wayne TV show

Ok so awhile ago someone (I’m sorry I don’t know who, if u know plz tell me so I can credit) came up with the idea of “what if the Waynes have a show like ‘keeping Up with the Kardashians’?”

Well I’ve been reading WFA and was thinking… what if they did have a show like that but the Wayne’s didn’t try to hide their weirdness. Like the weirdness that only comes from there nightlife.

I’m taking:

Damian keeps threatening to stab people and the crew think it’s a joke until he actually pulls out a dagger.

Dick decides the best way out of the manor is to do a flip out of a 3rd story window

Jason jokes about death (both his own and causing other people’s) a little to much

Tim full on passes out at the dinner table and Bruce just picks him up like he’s a toddler that weights next to nothing and takes him to bed

Cass has a habit of jump scaring the camera guy by just popping into existence next to them

They have a game of paintball that gets way to intense and ends up with Stephanie giving a speech that wouldn’t be amiss in a war movie

After ep 1 a lot of people talk sh/t about them online and in the next ep Barbara just random says names every now and then. It isn’t until after people work out she was saying the names of the worst people that sh/t talked them

For a long time all the viewers and crew thought Duke was the normal one until ‘the incident’

Jason and Tim are fighting and it’s getting pretty rough and bruce just spawns outta f/cking nowhere and just picks up the human tank that is Jason Todd like it’s nothing and just walks off

It becomes a running joke that whenever things go wide the camera just zooms in on Alfred, who just standing in the background calm as can be, as you can just hear the chaos continuing

Like everyone knew the Waynes were crazy but like…….. no one expected this

Duke Thomas Meta List

Ones without a credited author are from me!

Character

Duke's Resolve by redjaybathood

Duke is Not (Really) Nice by himejoshiangels

Duke and Emotional Repression by 5-7-9

Fanon Extremes by strawberrytalia

Duke and Self-Reliance by himejoshiangels

Personal Responsibility by dukethomas

Relationships

Duke's Views on Jason by batboopp

Duke & Damian

Duke & Tim

Duke is a Dick Hater

Duke is Dick's Successor by mattiebluebird

Duke & Bruce

Is Duke in Bruce's Care? by duketectivecomics

Robin / We Are Robin

Duke & The Robin Mantle

Robin and the Making of American Adolescence by Lauren R. O'Conner; screenshotted by 5-7-9

Thoughts on We Are Robin by millylotus

Meta Powers

Summary of Duke's Abilities by dukes-cassettetape

On Duke Being a Meta by arellas

Elaine Thomas

The Karma Incident by himejoshiangels

Extras

Duke in Wayne Family Adventures

Duke is Shaped By Love by ungodlybliss

How Old is Duke? by duketectivecomics

Not all of these are comprehensive and some slightly contradict others, but I find them all interesting and valuable discussions about Duke. If you don't know Duke at all or haven't read his comics, I recommend starting with the Character section!

I will be updating this whenever I find another meta so feel free to send any my way :).

i vote we should be able to blaze other people's posts. as features go, it would cause havoc and distress and alienate this website's userbase. need i say more

Stakeout

Batman: Oracle, status report.

Oracle: [over the comms] the teams are all in position. Things are quiet so far.

Batman: Hm. Ok, thank you Oracle. I’ll check in on them. [switches over to Nightwing and Robin’s frequency]

-

Nightwing: -nd I’ve already bought it! You need to socialise more; this is an important part of your childhood.

Robin: No.

Nightwing: It’s so cute, though. You’ll look adorable!

Robin: [with feeling] No.

Nightwing: [huffs] At least try it on; I already paid for it.

Robin: I am NOT going trick-or-treating.

Batman: …[switches over to Orphan and Batgirl’s comms]

-

Batgirl: -so then I said “you put that hand anywhere near me again I’ll break it off” and he-

Orphan: B is listening now.

Batgirl: oh, hey B. Anyway then we had sex and he had this-

Batman: [cuts off the feed before he becomes even more traumatised] …

Batman: …ok. [tunes into Red Robin and Red Hood’s frequency]

-

Red Hood: [in a fake posh voice] the handyman?!!! How could you DO this to me Dolores?!

Red Robin: [in a high-pitched voice] How could I?!! How could I NOT?? You married your office long before I ever fucked Juan-Eduardo!

Red Hood: Don’t you DARE put this on me! I knew I shouldn’t have hired that ridiculously good looking sonofabitch!

Red Robin: Hah! Well that wouldn’t have stopped me from sleeping with CHAD!

Red Hood: NO!

Red Robin: [Triumphantly] OH YES

Red Hood: NO! MY BEST FRIEND?? WILL THE LIES NEVER END DOLORES??

Red Robin: YES! And let me tell you- he was SO MUCH better than you. He-

Red Hood: YOU’RE TEARING ME APART DOLORES

Red Robin: [breaking character] nice one

Red Hood: thank you

Batman: [over the comms] what are you DOING?

Red Robin: Hi B. There’s a couple in the building across from us who’re having a huge fight. We’re giving them voices.

Red Hood: [in his fake voice] Look at all these papers! These papers that I’m waving around! Look at them!!

Red Robin: [as “Dolores”] Well if you love your papers so much why don’t you MARRY THEM?

Red Hood: MAYBE I WILL

Red Robin: I HATE YOU! I have always hated you! and what’s more- I HATE your MOTHER.

Red Hood: [gasps] MY MOTHER IS A SAINT AND A GIFT TO MANKIND

Red Robin: YOUR MOTHER IS A DECREPIT OLD WHORE

Red Hood: I WILL- DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME DOLORES

Red Robin: [hisses] Whenever the Mets play, I wish they would lose.

Red Hood: [gasps] YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?? ME -the man who obviously bought every piece of Mets Merch known to man and display them in every room of our apartment like a tool?! HOW COULD YOU??!

Red Robin: Well what are you gonna do about it? HUH?

Red Hood: WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’LL DO! I’M GONNA TAKE THIS GUN- [breaks character] Ohmygod he’s got a gun! Shit fuck moving out

Red Robin: We’re coming Dolores!

[Line goes dead]

Batman: …[stares unseeingly at the sky]

Oracle: Aw man, and it was just getting good too.

In truth all the other octopi just think you’re a right bastard who needs to “shut the fuck up Dave, we know you ate the fish from the tank across the hall nobody cares” and have now stopped associating you as the same species as them.

You are an “eldritch abomination” who is actually just an octopus in an aquarium with a superiority complex.

I for some reason just found out that Franklin ‘foggy’ nelson in daredevil is called foggy and not froggy?? like for actual years I though it was froggy cause apparently I can't read and my brain thinks that Franklin is a frog name so obviously he would be nicknamed froggy????