Latest Posts by pmeep - Page 3

Incorrect sayings that I use so often I’ve almost forgotten that they’re not the originals:

I have bigger fish to fight

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

You can lead a horse to water, but if you drown it you have to walk home

Opening a can of whales

You made your bed, now shit in it

Combining the latter two into the phrase “you opened this can of whales, now lie in it”

Boy, I felt that one

>hear frantic clicking and the sounds of exertion

>must be a rhythm game player

>genuinely impressed at the apm

>look outside

>crabs are pinching a man to death

adult content, adult language, and graphic violence are three beautiful women to me

More people need to understand the sexual appeal of armor

yeah as soon as I wake up no longer fatigued for the first time in my life I'll be set

ever since i was a little girl I always knew I was going to be publicly executed

“unhand me” is so good. and always appropriate to say. like literally unhand me

gay porn splitscreen with minecraft parkour footage

sniffs you

“counterspell” or as i like to call it “Nuh uh”

i disrespect the grind

Celebrity sighting.

your twink fucking bit me

when you apply for your villain license they give you a book of all the new words you’re allowed to say. it’s full of shit like “foible” and “machinations”

me in the not-so-distant future of 2032 taking my beautiful wife out for a walk on a foggy day: damn it's like silent hill up in this bitch! 😂

my wife: fuck you you say that every time it's a little foggy outside. you haven't even played the games. i hate you so much

our clone of former beatles drummer ringo starr who we normally keep locked in our basement but is currently joining us for his allotted 30 minutes of weekly outside time: ringo!

stop doing coke with these jokes and come smoke crackula with dracula

Vibes are off

(the vibes are completely normal but I am overstimulated)

i do genuinely need to go on some sort of quest this year or i’m going to become evil for real

vulnerability is so important but I will not be partaking in it

Vampire Coven by the Phantom Painter

Wounds of the Earth

— by xis.lanyx

Emil Melmoth

going to college to become a newspaper delivery boy

spotify can't shuffle for shit. i shuffle better than you and they laugh me out of card games. pathetic

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that

The thing about Cottagecore is that is a fetishized aesthetic of country life, divorced from labor and idealized by a primarily urban audience with a backward looking ethos of tradition. They are not prepared for the stresses of a rural life: farming; harvesting; tapping pumpkins to ensure none of them have been replaced with flesh; losing out on income by having to use one of your pigs in a blood sacrifice to paint protective sigils over your doors and windows; checking cracks and chimneys for the flesh-vines of the Pumpkin Lord; having to decide, before the Growth is complete, whether that's really your tradwife or an amassment of vines, leaves, and blood in the shape of your tradwife; ignoring their desperate pleas that "I'm me! No! No!" as you burn them alive, realizing too late you picked wrong; and the exploitative corporate nature of commercial farming in 2024. All seen through a deeply colonial lens, of course

my favourite button ever is "open link in new tab"..

Manslaughter sounds like it should be a way worse crime than murder. You didn’t just kill that guy you slaughtered him like the hog. It’s like if there was a even less-punished version of jaywalking called traffic massacre

non-practicing slut. is this anythign