Hello! I Have Never Written Any Of This Shit Down Before, Or Posted! So Here We Go, Its Gonna Be Gargabe.

Why is this just highschool?

In my headcanon/theory of orcs:

Orcs are uniformly tone-deaf, no exceptions. But they do sing. It just doesn't sound so good to anyone who isn't tone-deaf.

(Melkor, if he noticed, appreciated the dissonance, but Sauron was Not A Fan.)

Also their sense of rhythm is fine and orcish drummers can get quite sophisticated.

Common subjects for orc songs:

Fear Us

We are doing a task [which isn't very interesting and this at least livens it up]

We are going to kill you and destroy everything you love and have fun doing it

A 'and then there were none' backwards-counting song of elf-princes, some verses inspired by real events

A prince of cats got his ass kicked by a girl and a dog, definitely not inspired by real events, honest, but also definitely not to be sung in Mordor

We've been marching a long time and it's annoying

The Sun is a bitch

I Fear Nothing Except The Sea Which Is Fucking Terrifying

My warg is the best warg, she's eaten lots of babies

Behold my gruesome trophies

My body is the most fucked up and uncomfortable but I make it work

There's Something In These Caves (It's A Dragon And Planning To Eat Us)

These Orders Indicate Our Senior Leadership Has Shit For Brains

I Wish I Was Back In Goblin-Town

Today Is A Terrible Day To Die But I Guess That's What We're Doing

Ok but the 'her thighs are big enough for a cat to perch on comfortably' broke me ;-; thats such an amazing way to describe thighs

What does Sarah look like? You’ve mentioned tidbits, but do you have a full description?

Well, I think she's maybe two years older than Kate which has nothing to do with anything but she teases Kate for being younger and Kate is so close to throwing something at her.

I think she's maybe three inches taller than Kate, a barely noticeable height difference that she enjoys just a little too much. She's a brunette who's just starting to find a few greys but she doesn't care to dye them. She has really dark brown eyes that almost look black in certain lighting. Her shoulders look tanned but if you get close enough then you'll see its just countless freckles that go all down her arms and back. She's got some meat on her bones, if she sits down on the couch then her thighs are big enough for a cat to perch on comfortably. Hips are shoulders are damn near the same width, she's an immovable force whenever she decides to torment Kate by blocking a doorway she's trying to walk through.

She has a good few tattoos, from silly ones like a ghost with a cowboy hat to gorgeous pieces like a cathedral on her thigh. She also has Kate's initials on her wrist, Kate hates it [a lie].

She's generally a pair of jeans and t-shirt person but she can dress up real fucking fancy when the day requires it.

But most days Kate will come home to find her with her hair thrown up in a messy bun, glasses halfway down her nose as she leans on the kitchen counter to sketch something in a vintage Jurassic Park t-shirt and Batman underwear.

art by

Shkret Art

@ShkretArt

HENRI PRIVAT-LIVEMONT

me and my friends high as fuck at taco bell trying to figure out which one of us is coherent enough to order

Y'all can go ahead and celebrate the Ides of March and the assassination of Julius Caesar or whatever-- I will be celebrating the day that Merry & Eowyn Stabbed and Killed the Witch-King of Angmar like a normal person, thank you.

just thinking about bilbo thinking about how in love with thorin he is and how grateful hes alive and of their lives together in the shire and how theyre both just so happy and at peace and O;IRGAO;HIERGO;ALEIGHO;AIERG

Also, can we not gaslight ourselves into thinking that we make that big of a difference? Like, we for sure do make one, and going low footprint is fantastic. But the real issue is gigantic companies and organizations that actively harm the planet around them in bigger ways than we ever could. So heat your home! Take a hot shower! Remember that we're not the entire problem, that the problem lies in the organization and society that forces fossil fuel as the only way to do it.

Trying to keep your footprint as low as possible is a great way to self-destruct.

And I'm not saying this to people who take two hour showers during international flights while shoving red meat into their mouth. I'm saying this to my fellow activists who feel conflicted about heating their home on fossil fuels even though they don't have any other options (and struggle to afford it).

Like, we can talk about how 'consumer choice' is never going to save the planet and stuff, but more importantly: You are not a sin. Your basic needs deserve to be met. You deserve to be warm and filled with food that satisfies you and you deserve to see your friends.

We are not fighting to save 'the planet', that's a piece of rock. We want to save ecosystems and plants and animals, including people. You are part of that. Don't leave yourself out of the list of creatures that deserve to thrive.

I really need some feral reaction pics, because thats how i feel about this

Let me rip the squeaker out of this like a dog and a toy fr

apocalypse au but it's Soap who's desperate for companionship and touch starved to the point of delusion

Non-sexual things that COD people do to drive their SO feral? Thoughts?

- John with his tippy toe hip thrust thing has Nik in a chokehold, also instead of moving a chair in like a normal person John does this little scooting/hip thrust/legs spread manoeuvre that is too good to ignore.

(Evidence of this is seen during the Cutscene of Kate and John meeting to discuss making Taskforce 141)

-Kate has a way of folding her arms and looking down at her that has Sarah turning to utter jelly. Kate also has restless hands, likes to tap, stroke and squeeze, so a simple repeated gesture such as drumming her fingers on her thigh from Kate has Sarah wondering how else to occupy her lovely wife's hands.

-Faralexgaz I think would love for almost domestic self care, watching Farah brush and braid her hair had her boys fidgeting and wanting to touch, watching Gaz rub in his hydration lotions makes the other two wanna lick it off and Alex doing his facial hair maintenance with the oiling and trimming has Gaz on his knees "Helping" while Farah holds the mirror for them.

- Ghoap where Soap goes feral seeing how Ghost's mask moves, he can SEE when ghost's tongue wets his lips under that thing and he wants that tongue in his mouth immediately. He's a Victorian man seeing a scrap of ankle every smoke break when he sees Ghost lift the balaclava for a ciggie (Never mind the fact he knows exactly what's under the balaclava intimately)

-Alerudy with Alejandro being utterly pavloved when Rudy adjusts his leather belt, the sound of it is like ringing a dinner bell for a starved man. Also if Alejandro takes his gloves off with his teeth, it's not exactly Rudy's fault if he wants them in his mouth afterwards.

-Graves getting a little power trip from all the "Yup Yups" from his people, he's very touchy even during basic pre-check for missions so the shadows are all definitely angling themselves to make sure he touches them as he passes.

This was like a cool glass of lemonade on a warm day. Like waking up only to realise that you have three hours before your alarm goes off and you can go back to sleep. Like when you're six drinks in and vodka is now tasteless.

A blessing.

John Price's little hip thrust move is responsible for several casualties, Nikolai included. Sometimes he doesn't even realise he's doing it but the minute Nikolai spots it, his eyes are on John's crotch. John moves his hips far more than he thinks he does and all Nikolai can think of is the times he's stood behind the Englishman and made him buck up into Nik's hand instead of stroking his cock like John had so nicely asked.

When Kate crosses her arms and looks at you, it feels like she's looking down on you. It isn't intentional, she just has that intimidating feel to her and Sarah eats it up. But when they're at a bar and there's a table of men acting rowdy, Kate is irritated and she has one elbow resting on the bar with her other hand trailing her nails up and down Sarah's thigh? Well, Sarah is glad she wore a skirt because Kate'll be needing easy access when Sarah drags them both home. They don't even make it upstairs into their bedroom, Kate fucks her up against their front door and the next morning she comes downstairs to find her own black lace panties by their welcome mat.

Farah's version of unwinding before bed is sitting down in one of Gaz's t-shirts and a stolen pair of Alex's boxers as she braids her hair. It's habit and she doesn't have to think twice about doing it. Alex and Gaz are amazed by it, how quickly and efficiently her hands move when she doesn't even have to look. It's hypnotic. And it has Gaz crawling on his knees over to the end of the bed where she's sitting to massage her shoulders only his hands slip under the shirt and it devolves from there. Watching Alex trim his moustache always turns into sex to the point that if he doesn't want to get interrupted part way through and have to come back to finish trimming it after they're all thoroughly fucked out then he has to hide from both Farah and Gaz.

God, Ghost lifting the balaclava just enough to smoke. Soap is staring at him with dazed eyes like he just watched Ghost hand place the stars. Something about it feels personal to him, being allowed to see that bit of Ghost when he's in the "uniform" despite the fact that he has not only seen Ghost naked but he's also had the other man's cock in his mouth. But that little flash of skin, that has him damn near panting like a fucking dog.

Alejandro upon seeing Rudy's shiny new leather belt realises two things. One, introducing leather into their sex life might've been a bad idea because now he can't see it on the other man without feeling horny. Two, if Rudy doesn't tie him down, gag him with that belt and ride him until Alejandro's crying and begging him to stop then he might explode. The first time Rudy watches Laejandro pull his gloves off with his teeth, Rudy almost walks directly in the path of a moving vehicle. He blames his concussion, it's only partly to blame. Alejandro eventually notices that the action tends to render his sergeant major stupid and acts accordingly. The next time Rudy wears gloves, Alejandro pulls them off by the fingertips with his teeth and he barely has time to drop them from his mouth before he's yanked forward and mey with Rudy biting his lip while he unzips Ale's pants.

I think Graves is big on putting his hand on the back of someone's neck and squeezing because to him it's a friendly, reassuring touch. To his Shadows it's a memory for the wankbank because his hands are warm and his touch is firm. Graves himself, he knows there are eyes on him. He's their leader, he's God in this crowd of followers. They hang on his every word. Their importance is measured by him. There's little a hookup can do for him in comparison to how his Shadows eyes will follow his every move when he asks their attention.