Master List

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

shakespeare wasn't lying that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow can creep in this petty pace from day to day

it’s the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.

you can only reblog this today.

I'm so obsessed with this image

Do yall ever just

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

A little early guys

Impossible Masterlist

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x fem!Soulmate!Potter!reader

Warnings: Swearing, some angst and my shitty writing.

Summary: Mattheo and the reader are made for each other, literally. In a world where soulmates are connected through physical and emotional pain and a tattoo on the back of their left wrist, Mattheo and the reader must struggle to find a way to cope with the fact that their soulmate is on the opposing team.

Main Masterlist

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Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

What You Want

Characters: CastielXReader ft. Sam and Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1578

A/N: Written for @thewhiterabbit42’s Disney Writing Challenge quote #1 from Beauty and the Beast: “I want to do something for her… but what?”/ “Well, there’s the usual things – flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…” You’re feeling down and Castiel wants to do something special for you. Fluff.

The blue-eyed seraph sighs. It’s not any old run of the mill lungful of lament. Rather, his ribcage expands and contracts expelling a celestial force gale wind to roil the adjacent air of the bunker’s library. The atmospheric onslaught ends in an aggravated thundering grumble of a particularly naughty Enochian curse that would make the high pontiff himself the Pope blush, but which, meaning incomprehensible to present company, flushes no flesh.

Seated downwind, hair ruffled in the frustrated gust, Sam peers up from his vantage point across the table and closes the cover of the lore book propped in the nook of his lanky stacked legs. He ponders his angelic friend’s blustery expression for a split second and tentatively asks, “You say something, Cas?”

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