Someone Give Him Colored Contacts PLEASE

This is even funnier after Oli’s “slept with your father” joke

Sausage giving Eddie a massive bed is implying that Eddie is polyamorous and I’m here for it

tiktok is kind of bad for fashion by Mina Le

i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things

What to say when a stranger asks about your cane in an uncomfortable way:

Most recently used: “It’s for emotional support”

Immortality is hard on the knees

I’m a professional pole vaulter

(Look side to side conspiratorially) …you can see it too?

I keep my quarters for the car wash in here

Huh? Sorry I didn’t catch that? Sorry what? (Make them repeat it until they get loud and/or embarrassed)

You should see the other guy

Do you wanna guess?

I drank raw milk once

Nothin’ gets past this guy! (loudly, pointing)

It’s actually for fitness, like ankle weights

Mmmm I just like the fact that I’m disabled is way more interesting to strangers than anything else about me

It’s a very rare pez dispenser

Wow!

I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm

Walking? In this economy? Psh!

Essential oils go in it

For shits, giggles and a debilitating neurological condition

My no-good-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather forgot to carry madam zironi up the mountain

Cane?

It’s how I sneak snacks into movie theatres

Well it’s not for walking

(Croaky voice) I’Ve wAiTed 400 yEars for sOmEoNe to aSk mE thAt QUesTion

Finally someone noticed!

Thirst trap

Have you heard of Benjamin button syndrome

To hit small children!

I’m donating my leg to science

I’m going to be Tiny Tim this Christmas, you know, from the musical

To humble me

I mastered walking and thought I’d like a challenge

I keep rolled up $2 bills in here (whisper) …I don’t trust The banks

It’s sexy and cool

You tell me ;) no really, what’s your best guess? (wait for ittttt…. Boom now they are uncomfortable too)

Religious reasons

Then the last one on my notebook page is just a drawing of those 2 dogs from the ‘y’all got legs’ animation in sunglasses and “I got legs”

So there you go

My toxic trait is thinking I could fix zero

(By retconning all of season 18 and bringing the rvbs back, but keeping some of the zero characters, like Raymond and Phase. Maybe One but she's on thin ice, she's only included so she can be gfs with East)

they’re in a qpr

after seeing empires sausage’s backstory i can only think that the whole hermes thing just ties in even more to his backstory and he’s just trying to be the best dad he can possibly be bc he never knew his own and wants to carry on the kindness he was shown by someone who didn’t have to take on being his father figure but did so anyway brb crying

Alright I’m done back to lurking and titanfall 2