I Don’t Want To Have Another “crush”.

self destructing all by yourself beautiful ?

♡Introduction Part 2♡

This is just for other stuff I didn’t add to my first part of the intro that I wanted to mention at least here.

This is all just things I happen to like fyi.

♡Bands/Artists♡

•Eyes Set to Kill

•Pierce the Veil

•Sleeping with Sirens

•blessthefall

•Suicide Silence

•Deftones

•Cannibal Corpse

•Death

•Children of Bodom

•Britney Spears

•Ayesha Erotica

•Millionaires

•Avril Lavigne

•Candye Syrup

•Kairikibear

•Pinocchio-P

•Tommy february6

•Takayan

•Jazmin Bean

•Hollywood Undead

•CORPSE

•Lil Mariko

•ppcocaine

•S3RL

•BABYMETAL

♡Anime♡

•Happy Sugar Life

•Sailor Moon

•Puella Magi Madoka Magica

•Watamote

•Girls Last Tour

•Serial Experiments Lain

•Bocchi the Rock!

•Onegai! My Melody

•Lucky☆Star

♡Western Cartoons♡

•My Little Pony

•Invader Zim

•My Life as a Teenage Robot

•Powerpuff Girls

•Clone High(Just Season 1)

♡Reality TV Shows♡

•The Simple Life

•Jersey Shore

•Flavor of Love

♡Movies♡

•Mean Girls

•The House Bunny

•Clueless

•The Last Unicorn

•Saw

•Final Destination

•Pearl

•Girl, Interrupted

•The Virgin Suicides

•Valerie and Her Week of Wonders

•Heathers

•Edward Scissorhands

•Twilight Saga(Ironically. I think it’s one big joke.)

♡Video Games♡

•Splatoon

•Needy Streamer Overload

•Kirby

•Animal Crossing

•Pokemon

•Omori

•MuseDash

•Stardew Valley

I’m also slowly getting into Danganronpa & Minecraft!

Some other things I’m getting into are Vtubers and J-Idols. If anyone has any recommendations I’ll def check them out!

Anywho that’s all I wanted to put out there.

Peace!✌️

WARNING:

POOR EATING HABITS

So I just wanted to share an experience I had not that long ago.

Some context: Until 8PM or so, I didn’t eat anything since 3PM or somewhere along that time period. I was eating under my calorie intake recently so I was happy about that because it meant that I had some self control.

Here’s the catch.

I was grocery shopping with my parents and I felt a little lightheaded and had a headache. I also was kind of jittery and tired.

My mom noticed I was looking shaky and asked me what’s up and I told her about everything, she said it was likely a low sugar intake.

Even after I rushed to buy and eat some stuff, I still felt jittery and anxious and light.

If I’m honest, I don’t know how to feel about this

On one hand I’m embarrassed and ashamed, but on the other hand I just can’t get myself to care, because in my head I’d rather die than gain any more weight than I already have.

And it’s true.

I would rather die than be fat & overweight forever.

It’s one of the worst things I’ve had to deal with and I would do anything to have my ideal body type.

And by anything, I’d mean ANYTHING.

WARNING:

POSSIBLE NSFW & SH MENTIONS

I just got a message from I think a bot or maybe a scammer trying to get me to be his sugarbaby or something like that.

I blocked of course but it got me thinking…

Even if it wasn’t a ploy or something I just wanna say:

Bitch in what world am I sugar baby material?😭I’m a hopeless, fat virgin who cuts herself to cope with stress(which doesn’t even work anymore), can’t maintain a healthy friendship to save her life, and will throw a hissy fit when things don’t go exactly as she wants it to go.

I struggle doing minimal tasks such as getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and taking a shower.

I spent the last two days doing absolutely nothing but sleeping and scrolling on my phone, praying that I get more online attention.

They say people are complex but if I were a rubix puzzle i’d be a fucking dodecahedron.

I’m a mess and I wear that fact on my sleeve.

I doubt that I can handle a relationship, let alone a transactional one.

WARNING:

SH + STARVING

It wasn’t even worth the trouble. I feel nothing. All that it did was leave an ugly mark and leave a burning sensation.

Fuck I’m such a hideous thing. These scars make it even worse.

I wish I was thinner and flatter and prettier and had a nice smile and didn’t have this goddamn lazy eye everytime I take a photo.

I wish I didn’t have to resort to doing this to feel something good and relieving because nothing feels like it’s working anymore.

I don’t even know if I wanna eat rn. My parents are calling for dinner and I’m hungry but I’m so desperate to lose weight. I’ll do anything at this point.

I just wish I was born a different person.

People ask me “what are your future plans?” And I will say “I’m taking it slow and time will tell what my future will have in store”, but actually that’s just an excuse because if I said that I don’t think there’s a future for me and I’ll probably be dead before I can decide on a proper decision, I’ll most likely get criticized for it.

Got a monster from my one of my campus’s vending machines.

Ultra Strawberry Dreams because it’s strawberry flavored. It’s the first monster I officially tried on my own accord.

Design: 10/10

Overall Taste: 7/10

Tasted sweet and carbonated with a hint of citrus that I got used to.

Ngl I liked it.

That moment when you accidentally reblog a post on your side blog instead of your main blog…

Fml man I hate having to jump between two different blogs constantly.

I made an art blog for stuff that I feel like showing off that are arts and crafts related.

So far there’s nothing on it but I’m gonna be posting some stuff there eventually.

I think it’s also generally gonna be a geekier blog than this one idk yet 🤷‍♀️

Anywho here y’all go.

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15, 13 n 24 :3

13.)What healthy coping mechanisms do you use?

I listen to music as my primary coping mechanism. In fact, I’m listening to Yeule as I’m typing this. >:3

15.)Favorite game?

👏 SPLATOON 👏 EASILY

I was given the 2nd game as an early Christmas gift in 2018 and I have been a HUGE fan since.

I have a crap ton of fan ocs and almost all the amiibos in existence(I just need a squid one and the most recent additions).

24.)What is your biggest Jirai Kei pet peeve?

Either the elitism some spaces have when it comes to what defines a “true jirai” or the way that the term Jirai itself has become a loosely defined word online(kinda like how emo & goth have become watered down).