900 Words

To the present day “Joanna”s:

On behalf of those with your ear and not your attention; towards the benefit of those with your attention and its spoils; for your health and happiness; because of our unheard desires: see thyself as those with your ear do -beautifully badass. Let not your heart wander so far as you to forget that... for those with your ear turn to whispers the farther away you drift, and those whose possess your attention are not promised to be attentive.

Don’t lose sight of yourself; nobody in this world is worth you losing your shit. There’s no reason to act jealous, be possessive, and allow yourself to become sad and desperate. If someone doesn’t like you, who fucking cares? Find one who does. If your significant other makes you feel like shit — they’re fucking shit — bury them in a sandbox, forget about ‘em, and move on. Don’t be like Joanna of Castile. Don’t ruin your life and your reputation with insecure obsession . . . Born in 1479, Joanna (Spanish spelling, “Juana”) was the third child of Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon. But this royal privilege didn’t stop her from working hard to improve herself. As a young woman, she spoke six languages, excelled in religious studies, was active in equestrian sports, played music, and could dance with the best of them. Plain and simple, Joanna was a fucking badass. She was smart AND beautiful; this obviously attracted the attention of men. And, in 1496, she married Philip of Habsburg, also known as “Philip the Handsome.” Seriously, the dude’s nickname was PHILIP THE HANDSOME — are you fucking kidding me? He must have looked like Idris Elba and Ryan Gosling had a baby the height of Dwayne The Rock Johnson. My point, even Philip’s handsome ass wasn’t worth “losing it." But, Joanna couldn’t resist, she let her imagination get the best of her and became paranoid that he was going to cheat. Her insecurities intensified and her mental instability grew evermore apparent around the kingdom. She was like a fucking vulture, constantly swarming over Philip, checking his iPhone, and demanding his email passwords. Needless to say, it was sad to watch. She was once such a smart, intelligent, confident woman. Not even Philip’s surprise death in 1506 quelled her insecurities. She wouldn’t allow nuns to approach his corpse before his burial — afraid he’d put his ghost boner in one of them. In the end, Joanna of Castile became known as “Joanna the Mad,” leaving behind a reputation of being pathetically jealous, instead of beautifully badass. Well, you just learned some fucking history. You’re welcome. Now, enjoy your Sunday, you beautiful idiots. #SUNDAYSCHOOL

Beauty of Bubbles

I’m feeling as though I need to be brutally honest. Not with the intent to be brutal... and I don’t want to over-rotate, but... to be honest to the point of risk... and then into risk. Because without the risk, there is no - ... no highs, just minor swells of in-between. Like there are still lows - No risk and still Lows - but the highs...? I mean, maybe occasionally... short-lived. When we do and don't know how.. its like when two distinct complex patterns momentarily synchronize - or seemingly so. Empty bliss... enjoyably empty gestures... the beauty of bubbles. We float - mystifyingly so - reflecting the world as it is not. Empty and fragile... to burst with no pieces to collect and build again, ... just gone. Because our film was so thin, lacked substance, weight... lacked the consistency of that which comes with risk. The beauty of bubbles... the effortlessness, the carefree, the whim... the ability to disappear... due to a consistency made to wash clean. Because what you risk... sticks and gums and clings and spills and soils and stains, has substance and mixture and composition, leaves residue - evidence it was there, of it’s presence... of attempt... to be something... more than - ? ... beauty of bubbles.

-Pati3ntWo1f (11012019)

Let him be the first...

That you tell how you feel, honestly and completely... the sweet and the salty...

A number have wanted to hear you speak that freely, from a place they believe exists within you and they admire, are astonished by, fantasize about...

It is something each of them, directly, indirectly, wishingly and/or needingly sought/seek from you... a confirmation, a correction, an acknowledgement, an expression of...

That...

That culmination of your beauties, that sounding of your intentions grander than themselves, that display of your alluring mysteries, that momentum of your irresistiblities...

That unpronouncable word pronounced only by a bookay of emotions blooming in sync...

That familar song only heard in the vacuum of one’s chest that was once occupied by the air that pressure sealed my vulnerability, cadenced by the upbeat rythm my heart is now beating as i am faced to admit how you’ve captured me...

That unearthly draw, as though my purest joy is now a body of water that i bathe in, fearless of its endless depths, awaiting day to turn night to day - but not for the apppeal of the sun of the colors of the sky... but for the movement of, the tiding of my joys - atuned to your gravitaional pull on my world...

My...

I mean, Their...

I should stop while I am ahead. But know, there is more to the point.

-Pati3ntWo1f (07202020)

Retracing: I miss you too

I trust that upon a kiss i will taste a flavor that i have unknowingly longed for all my life.

That upon a hug i will feel the comfort my mother always wished for me.

That i will smell of you a scent from my last and our future.

And that i will feel... while interlocked with your body, your skin...

The meaning of Heaven on Earth, the fruitfulness of milk and honey and something promised, the vastness of our potential and the lack of limits before US... i will feel our destiny.

-Pati3ntWo1lf

#pati3ntwo1lf

Well…

Just bathe in my praises. Soak in them. Let them warm, rinse, clean… play in it, rest in it… submerge yourself at will, float on a whim, dip whichever and all the parts of you on a want. Praises will keep flowing from my lips. My well of expression will never run dry. It’s yours!

- pati3ntwolf (07092023)

10112019

I’ll state my intentions like they were a poetic password to be played off of my lips sincerely and into your ear sweetly...

an offering, to your goddess, of my soul - to come and taste of it and know that i am one with my truth...

I will bow and kneel, submitting myself to your waist... pleading with my wet lips upon yours for your acceptance - of me - to moisten and flow and grant me access to you, yours, heaven...

I’ll play praises upon your vessel with my fingertips, positioned around you like one would be if passionately playing the cello - as a cellist is to their instrument - your body being my instrument that i focus on; study on; practice on; repeatedly earning my way from “a gifted talent, yet a Passionate Novice” to “Purely remarkable Professional” to “Mastery”... mastering the art of keeping you with me, safely, ever-prepared, and In Tune... mastering the personal connection and the art of this instrument -your vessel - to the point inwhicb either of our names is inseparable from the other... and on demand or at whim i can bring angelic vibrations, in the form of pleasure’s song, up from within you and resounding out from you... a symphany of sensations made by two acting as one.

-Pati3ntWo1f

No Makeup

“And everything that makes you attractive is still on display and seen and recognized to be no less inspiring and enticing than when u powder, perfume, prompt and pose”

-Pati3ntWo1f

Statement of Intent

You okay if I take some of that weight on my shoulders and I intent-fully commit myself to your honest expression - as a form of homage to self, respect, recognition, reverence, release, restructure, renew, reenergize, … and potentially so many other plusses that there can be no minus….? May I? Yes?

Statement of My Intentions:

I intend to not pressure but be an available reminder. I intend to not burden but to ease. I intend to not limit or define or expect. I intend to accompany, to balance, to provide presence and mutuality. I intend to do more by doing less. I intend to serve and not be served. I intend to stand in the gaps where i fit and be a reinforcing echo of your own intentions. I intend to be weightless but felt as support, safety, encouragement, reassurance. I intend to be complimentary and accepting of you as you are, however you are, wherever you are (in mind or spirit or emotion) at any given time.

- pati3ntwo1f (080322)

While Listening to https://youtu.be/R7a6sr45YmE

While listening to ‘It’s You’

If we were to only get 9 minutes … this lifetime… only 9 minutes more of each other… I would spend 8 minutes and 29 seconds making this song our immediate reality, this rhythm the metronome to our hearts intertwining dance, these chords as emotional fireworks bursting in the splendor and beauty of our chemistry…

… and enjoying all else we give freely to each other…

And the last 31 seconds… I will spend holding you with endless intent, and infinite presence, and present purpose … and repeatedly whisper these words - gently grazing your lips with mine as I repeat -

“I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime. I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime. I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime.”

… until I’ve exhausted each fraction of our 9 minutes, …

and with your scent in my nose, your taste on my tongue, your voice in my ear, your aura in my sights, and your unmistakable energy surging over my flesh… I will begin my way back to you… again, and again, and again.

-Pati3ntWo1f (02082022)

My Pleasure, My Joy

Experiencing you is my Pleasure

Pleasuring you is my Joy

I wanna feel what else you can do to me... and return the sensation 3 fold

I wanna lose track of time and space and being,by being with you... and just become something else, together

I want your heart beating against mine; your lips amidst my own; your arms and legs enveloping me; your ass in my hands...

Your passion riding the tip of my tongue; your imagination balancing on the tips of my fingers, awaiting your command... I wanna be inside your endless intimacy

I want Lust to flow freely, but have no taste, because greater emotions overwhelm our palate

Mmmm... gimme you, please

I wanna incite a confirmation for each thought i have ever thought of you... via your undressing kiss, your clutching hold, your magnetic intensity, and/or your sensual whisper

I wanna learn you in ways you didn’t know you can be learned... and purposefully exploit that knowledge for your agreed benefit

I want our intimacy to be the ultimate antidote against anything this life can bring... and be the only elixer i get drunken off of... and be as spectacularly nourishable as miracles of multiplying fish and bread... and as promising as a land of milk and honey

-Pati3ntWo1f (11262019)