Day At The Museum

tumblr is full of phrases that we are all so desensitized to that they're just normal, but if you say it to a person in real life its so funny to them its a one-hit insta kill

my mum just called "scrolling on Tumblr" "scrumbling"

I need Lucifer discovers bible fanfiction please 😂🥺

Multiple ways this could play out,

Bible fanfiction excited in Alastor's time and he teases or references it in some way

Or

The vees.

Doesn't matter which one, it would be quite in character for all three of 'em

why is france called the hexagon when its abundantly clear that it’s a pentagon

why is france called the hexagon when its abundantly clear that it’s a pentagon

fuck disappearing under mysterious circumstances i want to start APPEARING under mysterious circumstances. walking through a deserted eerie forest? im there. exploring an abandoned 1930s mine that no human has set foot in for 55 years? there too. touching down on mars? guess whose annoying face you see poking out from behind a rover

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

Also head common venti/Barbados sits on zhonghi shoulder out of habbit well he sits on any part of the man and zhonghi/morax dose not give a shit he acts like it's normal. It's not and everybody has to ignore that yes thier is a person on zhonghis stretched out hand. Or yes their is a person standing on his head. Why is thier a person sitting on your left shoulder.

This is a habbit that let's venti read the wind without being distracted because he is short. Zhonghi treats it like one dose a cat can't do shit about it especially if venti falls asleep in the sun or ontop of him.