Fic Where The Corroded Coffin Boys Need Money For The Battle Of The Bands In Chicago.

You get me, that's definitely the dynamic.

Like they would just be there standing and Steve would talk here and there with apparently random things and the whole party is just like "wtf Steve, how are you communicating with them???"

Also, idk but i imagine them just making the things Steve needs appear out of nowhere. Like he would run out of milk and the next time Steve opens the fridge there’s a brand new cartoon of milk.

I love Steve has bad parents as much as the next person AND i eat that shit up in every fic i read, but, but– i saw a tiktok with those "what creature is watching you depending on your month" slideshows, so now i have the image of Steve having some shadow parents stuck in my head.

Therefore, now i had to add that to him having bad human parents but at the same time some shy, protective and loving shadow parents.

He doesn’t consider the Harringtons his parents anymore, excuse me, his parents are those shadows that seem to stare at your soul with their bright pure white eyes and none existent characteristic features apart from their silhouettes, thank you very much.

He loves them.

So every time someone asks Steve about his parents he has to make mental gymnastics about if it's OK to talk about the shadow ones or if it's a situation where he has to lie through his teeth about the biological ones.

Steve is just happy to have someone who cares about him and goes to see his games and recitals (because you can pray Steve plays the piano away over my cold death hands) even when no one apart of him notice them (and a few unlucky ones– Eddie, i'm looking at you).

I wonder how that might work, the party must have their own theories about Steve's parents, none of them it's about they being literal shadow creatures/ entities, though.

I think most of them think they are neglectful, no, they’re not; you just can’t see them because they don't want Steve's friends to freak out.

After the fight with Billy, Steve needs someone to woke him up and take care of him for a bit, he said his parents would do it but every time someone goes to check on him he's alone. And Hopper gets suspicious because he doesn’t remember the last time he saw the Harringtons.

Also, Billy starts having so much bad luck and can not stop seeing these shadow figures everywhere, it's probably just his imagination and a bunch of coincidences.

Why is Steve so calm about monsters? It has nothing to do about his parents being literal shadow creatures, ofc. And if in the middle of fighting demodogs he got some help, nobody notice it.

I just– imagine the party's reaction when they found out? Gold

Robin is the first to meet them ofc, following the whole party and then Eddie realizing that "THEY WERE YOUR PARENTS!????" when he process enough the fact that yes, he wasn't seeing things in the corner of every basketball game he went to stare at Steve.

*grips your shoulders tightly* listen to me. you HAVE to make stobin weirder, okay? you have to make them the embodiment of that Secret Third Thing™️. they’re those cats at a shelter that you can’t separate for anything. make them do examinations of each others bodies cause they’re worried about a health issue. make them share a single piece of gum. make them swap pronouns and names and clothes on a regular basis. make them shower together. i need one of the kids to call for steve in a different room and have robin come to help instead because they’re one person. i need steve to show up to work wearing robins tag cause she’s too sick to come in. they have to get weirder, do you understand? it’s for their health.

Safe

Eddie: yeah you're a whore but you could be bad at sex

Steve: *bewildered* what

Eddie: I'm just saying, you can have a lot of sex, how do we know you're good at it? We don't have first hand experience, you could be lying to us-

Steve: *smirking*

----

3 hours later

Eddie, tangled in sheets, breathless, red, panting: OK. Ok. You proved your point

Steve passing Eddie a cigarette: Mhm~

I keep reading so many Peter Parker in Gotham AU fanfics, and I got the worst idea ever

As most start outs go in these fics, Post SM:NWH Peter ends up in DC universe Gotham

Only difference? The Joker in this DC universe is actually an alternate version of Norman Osborn.

I know this sounds so dumb but like,,, imagine it. May died trying to help Norman, and Peter nearly threw away his morals to avenge her death by killing Norman himself. Now he's faced with another version of Osborn who is so much more fucked up, who's been through so much shit, and all Peter can see past that shitty clown make-up is the poor man who needed help who his aunt died trying to help. The man who went to FEAST knowing Peter could help. The man who one second was scared of everything including himself, and the next was laughing uncontrollably, even through the punches Peter pounded into him.

What if Peter decides Mays death won't be in vain. That even if this isn't the same Norman Osborn, he's going to help him and he won't die trying like May. He's going to avenge her death the right way.

Then cue the Bats freaking the FUCK out because???? As much as they beat the shit out of him, Bruce had spent years trying to help him, then this homeless and totally adoptable kid shows up out of nowhere and is breaking past the Joker and to the real man trapped behind it all?????

Hi, I'm obsessed with the Eddie Munson Tiktok Saga. I don't know if you ever specifically said what kind of dog Ozzy is, but in my mind I always picture him as a corgi because they give epic side-eye, which I suspect is a necessary skill for Steve's dog.

I’ve always kept Ozzy’s breed vague so he can be whatever dog you’re thinking of.

The only comment I think I’ve ever made that would limit what Ozzy would look like is that Steve didn’t initially want a dog because a dark creature on all fours out of the corner of your eye could look a lot like a demo-dog.

So, Oz is probably a lighter-colored dog but I still say whatever dog you have in mind is Ozzy.

Though I do know a Corgi irl and I can see Steve doing something reckless and Ozzy looking at him like:

This idea got stuck in my head, not to be taken too seriously. If you find any typos, no you didn't <3

Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

--------------------------------------

Steve Harrington knew how to haggle. Raised by the most cutthroat business man in all of the state of Indiana, if not the United States as a whole, he knew the ins and outs of getting the best deal possible. He used this to his advantage a lot more than anyone knew.

The first time he brought out Steven Elias Harrington, son of Richard Jay Harrington was when he first got forced to sign NDAs to keep quiet about everything going on in Hawkins, Indiana. Despite only having shown up at the end, he still had a fat stack of papers to work through.

And he worked through the entire thing, taking his sweet precious time to read the entire thing, word for word. He signed nothing that day, letting the government employees watch as he took notes on every little detail, humming to himself, scoffing, and overall being as annoying about it as possible.

"These are terrible. Do better." He didn't say that exactly, but it was the general consensus as he gave them a verbal dressing down that would make his father proud (and his father was never proud). He made demands for money, for protections, for anything that he could think of. By the end, the government had agreed to provide him with a heaping helping of cash (enough to buy a house and help him live a comfortable life for the next twenty-or-so odd years), government provided medical insurance (complete coverage for the rest of his life), and a full ride scholarship for any college he wanted to go to.

Suffice to say he had rung that towel dry of anything he could ask of it. He knew that those government employees wished nothing but the worst for him, but he was satisfied with what he got, and he happily signed the fifth NDA they provided him with, flourishing his signature with relish.

Then, he became even more wrapped up in the whole thing when Dustin Henderson decided to raise a baby Demogorgon in his basement. A lot happened in those forty-eight hours, but the main one was that he got attached to the little shits, so he told them in no uncertain terms that they were not to sign anything before he looked the paperwork over.

They scoffed, rolled their eyes, but ultimately agreed. It was a very amusing few days, to say the least. The government agents (the same ones as last time) showed up with their giant stacks of paper, and came face to face with Steven Elias Harrington, and he could just see them die a little bit inside. He could practically hear what remained of their souls wither to dust.

And again, he forced them to sit as he read through every NDA, taking notes, scoffing, humming, and overall being a nuisance to them and their time. Then, he got the kids' attentions (as their eyes started to glaze over after minute thirty) and began his process.

The looks of pure awe, too, would be treasured for a very long time as he got their college tuitions paid for, government-provided medical insurance for the rest of their lives, and of course a big fat pile of cash ready for when they would turn seventeen years old. Each of them had enough money lined up for them that they wouldn't have to worry about anything until maybe their late fifties to early sixties if they were bad with their money.

And of course, he got himself another big pile of cash and access to the best lawyers in the United States if he would ever have need of it.

After that, he shouldn't have been surprised when everyone came to him for help post-Battle of Starcourt (dubbed by Dustin, of course). This time, he took two solid weeks pushing and pulling Uncle Sam in this direction and that to make sure everyone got what they needed. (Another fat stack of cash for everyone, legal protection for whatever they'd need it for, and a cover story that made everyone look the best that they possibly could. He also got college payment for Robin, since she wasn't there the first time, as well as the same medical insurance he got everyone else). Those government employees looked at Steve like he was the devil himself.

"You kinda are," Robin told him one day, after Steve recounted the specifics. "I mean, you are bleeding the government dry."

He gave her a grin. "Absolutely, I am."

Then, he and his merry band of misfits saved the world, stopping the Upside Down for good. The same government goons showed up, and instead of doing what they tried to do the previous time, they just came to Steve with all of the NDAs, and asked in the most sarcastically professional voice imaginable, "Are these up to your standers, Mr. Harrington?"

He gave his charming, King Steve smile and told them that he'd read it over. In the hospital room that held Max and Eddie, Steve pulled up a table and allowed everyone to watch as he flipped page after page, noting down the loophole phrases and weak protections, and every single trap meant to put them into a worse-off position and he threw it in the government's faces.

In return, he forced everything his heart could imagine out of them.

Another giant hunk of change for each of them.

Eddie Munson free of all charges, effective immediately

Government-provided medical insurance for Eddie Munson for the rest of his long, long life

A cover story so beautiful, so concrete that it got even the most closed minded to look at Steve's People and call them heroes.

A house for Eddie and his Uncle Wayne

"I hope I never see your face ever again," the man told Steve, forgoing all niceties at that point. "You're going to burn in hell."

"I'll save you both a seat," he told him with his sweetest, most charming smile.

The government agents left, and in their wake, Eddie Munson looked at him like he hung the sun, moon, and stars in the sky.

"Wow," was all the metalhead was able to get out for a while. "Just wow."

Robin glanced between Steve and Eddie, leaned into his side and quietly sang, "The lovers, the dreamers, and me."

Tony: kiddo by any chance did you tell anyone that I adopted you?

Peter: of course, mr.Stark, I am a freaking teenager with no self control who desperately adored you, of course I did.

Tony: jeez, that was a good one, but no need for sarcasm.

Peter: huh? I was serious, mr. Stark.

The spin-off everyone wants of stobin working different jobs but make it through all the canon. MAKE THEM BE FRIENDS EARLIER.

I love platonic soulmates stobin and them becoming friends before canon??? Yes please. Please give those two more years of happines and friendship and being stupid teenagers together.

Maybe not exactly friends friends at the beggining, yk, like the dynamic they had in scoops before everything went cataplum-boom-bla-aaaaaa. And bond like stray cats with interwined souls.

They working at Benny's dinner in the first season, being the ones to found El, freaking out and bickering the whole time about what to do because that’s a child, that’s almost 100% an abused and probably now homeless child, wtf.

I know Benny barely appeared like 10 minutes in screen MAX (and i'm being generous) but i love that man and in this universe he survives thanks to those one-braincell-sharing dinguses.

They being the ones to take care of El and protect her, they know they should call cps but hey, when they tried to call she found out and throw the phone with her mind so they supposed that isn't an option now.

Robin bringing a photo of Will by accident, Jonathan and Joyce sharing it with everybody just in case and El going "i know where he is" So they suppose are going to search for a missing kid now, ig.

They bumping into the Party and everything snowballing from there.

Steve still ends up hitting a demogorgon with a nailbat btw. And losing their jobs. How? Idk, probably they quit because the feds are keeping a close eye on them and they don't want to make trouble for Benny, who knows. (The real reason is that Robin accidentally broke the machine to make milkshakes and is too afraid to tell Benny so they run off before someone figures it out)

Then they went to get a job at the Hawk, i know that in Rebel Robin it said she worked there for a while but i'm not sure when or in what so let's just say it was at this time.

You can think in a lot of little things they would get up to, like annoying couples in the middle of make up sessions, eating the pop corns that nobody bought at the end of their shifts, snuck in movies that nobody went to see when they have slow shifts and laugh out loud for how bad they are, etc.

Then the second season happens and the mall is open. The Hawk has to fire people because there’s not enough money and ended up being Steve and Robin, who had guess.

Now everyone knows what happen after that, scoops ahoy and family video.

Just let them be silly in different jobs together.

Continuing a bit from this

Because that was a fluke, right?

Steve Harrington sat at their lunch table, asked a bunch of questions, and took notes as some sort of prank, right? It’s never going to happen again. Right?

But he’s there again today (“Fucking hell”) sitting at their table, waving them over when he spots them like, “I was thinking about that depression filter you told me about. Makes no sense.”

“It’s, uh…” Jeff tries, accepting Steve’s offered applesauce. “It’s a perception filter.”

“Ohhh, that makes more sense.”

Steve opens his notebook, marks something out, and writes over it. He looks up like, “About this guy Griffon.”

And that’s how it goes. Steve asks questions. They provide answers. They realize that Steve must have some hearing loss in his left ear and adjust to that. Steve cracks a joke they don’t understand and adjusts to them, and it’s…fun.

Gareth accidentally elbows Steve in the ribs and Steve winces hard because his ribs are still fucked up from the fight. They all think this is over now and things will go back to normal but Steve…apologizes?? For being weird??? To weirdos?

“Oh, god,” Jeff says after lunch, watching Steve and Grant walk off in the same direction. “We have to keep him.”

Gareth sighs, “Eddie is going to hate this.”