Flower Curse | B. Love Someone Else

Flower Curse | B. Love someone else

erwin's ending

[erwin x male!reader x levi] hanahaki disease; angst, no vomiting here. B. Love someone else.

Could you love someone else? Could you change your feelings that easily? At first, that sounded impossible— but, if you wanted to survive this mess, then you had to do something about it. You didn't want to try your luck with Levi's answer— knowing fully well if you weren't loved back would turn things worse.

The negative thoughts made you sigh in exasperation. How are you even going to change your feelings? Every time you tried to even think about stopping loving the short man, your mind and heart went erratic in denial. And anyways, who could love you? Loving someone else would just hurt you, if anything. Maybe you should try to stop loving at all— but of course, that thought was impossible.

Then, your objective was changing your feelings. Not an easy task. Hmn... Maybe Erwin or Hange could help you out? Wait, talking about Erwin... Wasn't he a little weird lately? You often could catch him staring at you in a way you couldn't recognize— and always checked on you. Somehow, his worry made you feel something warm deep inside.

Before, he wasn't that touchy if you could remember. Yes, he sometimes got worried for you in the expeditions, but there were just words, no touches. Not that you minded, though.

Could it be...? Nah, of course not.

...Right?

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Knocking on the door, you receive an answer. You open the door, peeking inside before entering. Seeing his tensed form, how serious and grumpy he looked made you let out a chuckle, which made him look at you and smile.

"[Name], nice to see you this soon. Do you need something?" Erwin asks, slightly relaxing his composure, softening his gaze on you.

Approaching him, you replied, "Hange sent you these papers," You place the papers on his desk, along with the many others that were there, "something about new experiments methods? Didn't really paid much attention, hehe." You laugh, rubbing your neck in slight embarrassment.

He lets out a deep chuckle, "As expected of you." He jokes; taking a paper from Hange's.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean, eyebrows?!" He only laughs, and you can't help but laugh with him too. It was weird to hear him laugh lately — to even relax with him.

You notice how he rubs his neck, how tensed his shoulders look. He looks uncomfortable, and even if he knows how to hide everything, sometimes you are lucky enough to catch something unusual from him.

"Take your jacket off." You bluntly say, placing yourself behind him. The demand makes him confused at first, but quickly catches your intentions.

"I'm alright, [Name]. You can go now." He says, but you just ignore him.

"You take it off or I do it. Don't try me, Smith." Placing your hands on your hips, you wait. A smile appears on your face when he obeys, letting out a sigh at first. You take his jacket, placing it on a chair. "Alright, Erwin. Just relax and let me do the job— just keep working and leave your tension with me."

"My shoulders are in your hands."

And with that, you begin to work. You place your hands inside his shirt, near his collar. Pressing your hands against his skin, you tried to be as gentle as possible; but you could feel the tension already on his shoulders.

The blond keeps writing on the papers, slightly relaxing under your touch. You smile a little, pleased that he is less tensed now.

Without minding too much, your eyes began to wonder on his form. You are smaller than him— his skin feels warm against your palms. You can barely grip his strong shoulders under your smaller hands— you began to remember the few times he has embraced you; how he wraps his arms around your form, when you are too fragile to even think. Unknown for you, your hands began to wonder a little too much, and a certain blond notices.

The weird an unusual urge of taking his hands with yours clouds your mind, but a sudden comment made you snap out of your thoughts.

"You weren’t on the mess hall this morning.” He states, not giving you a glance. You shift uncomfortably, blushing.

“No, I wasn’t.” You affirm, sighing. “I wasn’t hungry.”

He hums, not believing you are telling the full truth. You knew he could see through you, even if you two weren’t looking at each other right now.

Silence overcomes after that. You keep massaging his shoulders, and your mind wonders for a moment, thinking again about the blond in front of you— with the consequence of you gripping a little too hard on him, making him let out a deep grunt. Quickly, you let go, blushing by the sound he made.

“S-Sorry! I wasn’t paying attention!” You blurt out, embarrassed by getting distracted by your unusual thoughts about him. Your hands leave him, taking a step back.

He doesn’t say anything at first— you can see how he slowly gets up from his seat, with his back still facing you. There's silence, and you are not sure about what to say or act— you feel suddenly nervous around him right now.

"What were you thinking right now?" He asks, finally turning at you. You feel his strong gaze on you, feeling slightly intimidated by it. You shift uncomfortably, gulping.

"W-What's with the sudden q-question?" You nervously ask, trying to stay calm.

He doesn't answer— instead, he slowly approaches you, like a prey. You avert his gaze, blushing and sweating. The blond finally gets in front of you, and quickly puts both of his arm on the little desk you were supporting yourself. He traps you, like a cat with a mouse.

"W-What has gotten into you...?" You still avert his gaze, gulping nervously. Was he playing with you? Trying to make you do something? The man was hard to read— you didn't have a clue of what he was doing or thinking.

He gets closer to your face, and you could feel the warm irradiating from him, making you blush. "What were you really thinking...?" He whispers in a deep voice, right on your ear. The warm makes you shiver, and he slightly smirks.

The taller man likes being this close to you— being able to see your blushing face, you shivering under him, getting nervous because of him... He didn't know that being with you in your hardest moments was going to make him fall in love with you— hell, he could say that he liked you before, but not that badly like now.

At first, he didn't think much about the massage. But he could feel how your hands began to wonder a little too much around his neck, and somehow noticed your fingers shaking a little. The blond quickly noted your change of mood, and decided to make a move that he would regret or not later.

"Look at me when I ask you something." He demands, and you instantly turn your head to look at him. Your lips are pressed in a thin line, and you can feel your legs shaking. You meet with his blue eyes— they are piercing, focused on you. Very deep down, you like this closeness between you.

And before you can react or say anything, he quickly snaps and steps back, leaving you in a total mess. Blinking, you look at him and notice his frown— he looks... ashamed? embarrassed? You are not entirely sure, but somehow, the situation made you sure about something.

"Sorry, [Name], I didn't—"

You don't let him finish— instead, you harshly took the front of his shirt with both of your hands and close the distance between the two of you. And then, you do the unthinkable—

You kiss him.

Erwin doesn't react at first— he's surprised by your sudden actions, and really doesn't know how to act at first. Nevertheless, the blond quickly gives in, placing his hands on your waist, making you closer.

You acted by instinct; and even if your mind wasn't that clear at the moment, you loved the feeling. You love how he touches you, how close he is. Eventually, you both separate to get air, and Erwin places a hand on your cheek, softly looking at you with what seemed lust.

"But I thought you..." He whispers, not finishing what you know he was going to say.

"I—I know... Me too, but..." Looking at him, you can feel your heart beating rapidly. Gulping, you try to explain yourself, but just an incoherent comment gets out. "I—I think my feelings changed... B—But if you don't-!"

He chuckles and press his lips against yours to make sure that he reciprocates— making you embarrassed once again by your dumb thoughts. "Of course I do, [Name]. I adore you." He confesses, and you can feel your whole being shaking by hearing him say that.

His thumb caresses your lips, and you unconsciously press yourself against him in anticipation. He laughs by your actions, making you hide your blushing face on the crook of his neck. Erwin doesn't exactly say it, but feeling your warm breathes against his neck made him shiver and begins to wonder how much closer he can get to you.

The blond places a hand on your hips, with the other one harshly taking your chin to look at him. The man looks at you with lust, and you are surprised to see such an emotion on him. Not that you mind, thought. You shiver in anticipation, your mind getting some messy ideas about the two of you, and Erwin certainly catches that.

"We should lock the door, shall we?"

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Not much after that, you notice you have no more problems with the curse. The flowers disappear, along with the feeling of being unable to breath. You feel alive again, and you are more than happy for how the things turned out in the end.

Your feelings surely changed; your heart belonged to someone else one, and that one was Erwin. You treasured all of the moments with him, how your hands touch in the mess hall, the messy kisses you both shared, the nights you spent in his office—

Ahem- You get the idea.

Your relationship with Levi didn't change— yes, your feeling for him changed, but you stopped avoiding him. Your relationship with the commander wasn't something public, but none of you really denied it. And obviously, the short man could see everything you two did.

The black haired man couldn't explained, but he felt something stung on his chest everything he could catch the two of you touching or getting too close. He didn't get angry at the moment he knew about your relationship, but he didn't get happy either.

He wasn't pleased— and Erwin could see his unusual frown when he glanced at him, something that he really didn't care about. The taller man only cared about you, and he certainly would treasure all of these memories with you.

Yes, Levi wasn't happy with how everything turned out. And even if he wanted to clear his mind, only confusion got the best of him when he see both of you walking trough the halls looking so happy. Something inside the short man tightened every time, feeling repulsed by the sight.

And when his thoughts cleared and got to the conclusion that the feelings he had for you were stronger than a friendship, he was too late.

Are you happy with the choice you made?

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Please! 🙏🏽Make Empty rise from the ashes like a phoenix 🦅🦅

im gonna take your hand when i say this but that is very unlikely (꒦ີ﹏꒦ີ。) that story makes me cringe so i NEED to rewrite it (even though my writing hasn't improved LOL), but it just makes me ugggghh and it is so damn long LOL. i would love to continue it, but for now it's in the limbo until i get around it.......


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5 years ago

Reiss Mental Asylum / 6

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

6

Today [Name] would do his sessions alone— Zeke was busy with others patients that [Name] didn’t have to help with, and Erwin was occupied with meetings. So, that left the young assistant all alone, not that he complained. He knew the two males wouldn’t be with him all the time, and he had familiarized enough with the place.

However, his session would be in a hour, leaving him with a few minutes to spare. Now that he think of it… was there anything else to work with…? Certainly, he had some paperwork Zeke gave him that had to be done. With no much thought, the young male headed to his office, greeting and nodding the workers who he come across with.

Entering the office, [Name] opened a drawer from the desk, taking folders and papers. Sitting down on one of the seats —Zeke brought another seat for his assistant—, he began to read the papers carefully. However, the [hair color]-haired male couldn’t stop his mind to wonder about something in particular— the handcuffs Jean had.

For now, he was the only patient that had them, and Zeke didn’t explain why he did. It was something that bugged him— if someone with Bertolt’s background didn’t have them, then why Jean did? He wasn’t violent by any means in his first session just like Bertolt —excluding the kiss and the hug, obviously—, and [Name] couldn’t stop his thoughts to ask why his boss didn’t explain it. And well, he hasn’t…

The young man shacked his head, “stop thinking unnecessary things! Maybe it’s nothing at all, you are wondering too much, [Name]...” Sighing, he returned to his work, finally deciding to let the topic rest for now. Even if the situation seemed a little off, he believed Zeke would explain when he wanted.

Taking the patient’s file, [Name] carefully read;

Connie Springer. The patients gets aggressive when nurses try to get close for the medication; violent outbursts are guaranteed in these scenarios. Strangely, his behavior seems calmer with certain doctors around. However, first meetings don’t guarantee the patient’s trust and serenity.

He hide his insecurity nature with his false confidence; trait unfortunately gained when he was young. His parents lack of attention since childhood took an effect on him. The excessive criticism, insensitive parenting were usual behavior of the parents against him, developing a narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality behavior.

Unfortunately, his school experience wasn’t good either. Students often harmed him physically and mentally— situation that affected negatively on his trust on others.

All of these examples made Mr. Springer snap from his sanity and do the unthinkable— murder his own parents and siblings.

Murder…? Wide-eyed and lips pressed in a thin line, [Name] had to read the last sentence a few more times to believe it. He was quite surprised of it— yes, he met Bertolt, who was forced to do violent acts, actions that deteriorated his mental state. The [eye color]-eyed assistant felt sympathy for Connie— the murder could have been prevented, but he never got help. Something inside [Name] shifted in anger; and even if reading he murdered his own family was quite shocking, he couldn’t stop himself to be… sad for him.

The door suddenly opens, snapping [Name] from his attention on what he just read, “Hey, dipshit, Roman told me to—” the voice abruptly stops when he notices the one he wasn’t looking for. “You are not dipshit.” Levi blinks, frowning.

“Dipshit…?” [Name] blinks, thinking who he might be referring to. “A-Are you talking about Dr. Jaeger…?”

The ravenette snorts, “yes, I’m talking about four-eyes. Where is he anyways?”

“He told me he was going to meet with other patients, didn’t tell me exactly where or who, sorry.”

The short man hums, thinking about something, “that means you are alone for the day?” Impressive he’s still here unharmed. The assistant nods, and Levi notices his nervousness showing by his comment.

Now that I think of it, four-eyes is always with him. Levi wasn’t an idiot— Zeke had displayed some… strange behavior when he was with his assistant, even if the blond doctor tried to hide it. For instance, in their first meeting with [Name], Levi could catch how irritably the man glared at Mike, who was very close to the assistant And also, he couldn’t suppress a smirk seeing how flustered he got when he saw [Name] with the disgusting sauce all over his mouth.

He stopped a laugh from coming out, thinking about the blonde’s true feelings for his assistant. It’s not a secret that Levi doesn’t like Zeke a little too much. The doctor himself and everyone else absolutely knows— and the ravenette makes sure he knows.

Resting his shoulder on the door’s frame, the shorter male carefully eyed the quiet assistant. Levi didn’t know what it was that Zeke liked from this newbie— his attitude seemed weak and shy. The assistant was very polite, too… Maybe it was his looks?

“How’s it been here? Any problems?” Levi asked, his mind still thinking about the other’s attention to the male in front of him. Maybe  four-eyes was captivated by the soft gaze the other had?

“Not at all! Uhm… well—” [Name] own interruption was because he remembered his… “scene” with Bertolt not too long ago. He felt his own face warming, thinking of it. The ravenette noticed this.

Blinking, Levi asked, “what? Did an intern hurt you?” He didn’t exactly see an injure in [Name]’s body— not in visible places, at least. An eyebrow raised when he saw the other’s instantly denying it, his two hands shacking in front of him.

“No, no! Not at all! It was just… a close encounter. That’s all.” [Name] didn’t think it was the best to tell the truth. It was a little embarrassing to say a patient kissed you on the lips. No way he was going to tell that! It was unprofessional— a mistake for his part. “Nobody has been aggressive towards me!” he reassured.

Levi was amused. The younger male has been with three patients of what he knows, and he hasn’t been harmed unlike other doctor and nurses that first came here, just like [Name]. The ravenette deduced he was talented in some way, or just really lucky.

“Are you getting patients of upper floors?”

“Upper floors…? Uhm…” [Name] blinked, trying to remember the floors he meet his other patients. Armin was in a lower floor, Jean in the upper, Bertolt upper… “Two. But why is that important?”

He really doesn’t know this place. “No reason.” He tried to change the subject, “when and with you is your next session?”

[Name] took a look at the clock, and turned again. “In fifteen minutes with… Connie Springer.”

Springer… “Then you should get going. Clean all of your shit on the desk, it looks messy.” He ordered, hearing a stutterly “y-yes, Mr. Ackerman!” from the assistant. The ravenette only stood there, watching [Name]’s clumsy movements, trying to deduce the earlier thoughts he had about him. What did shitbeard look on him? “Let’s get going.”

[Name] stopped his actions, “are you… accompanying me?”

Rolling his eyes, Levi snorts. “Didn’t you hear me? I said let’s get going. Upper floor, I suppose?”

Nodding, [Name] stays in silence, unsure of what to do.

“What are you waiting for? Come on.”

The two left the room and walked in silence to the upper floor, until they stop in front of a door with two guards standing. Levi nods to them, and begins to walk away, and says, “see you in a few minutes.”

。。。。。

“Hello,” [Name] greets with a smile, as he opens the door, instantly catching the attention of a young man, who expression isn’t that joyful, and the assistant can catch the handcuffs he has. “I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger—”

“Don’t care.” He interrupts. Glaring at the assistant, he proceeds, “and I know you don’t, either way.”

Not good, uh? No worries. “I certainly do. I’m here to help you, Mr. Springer.” He sits, smiling. Looks like Connie doesn’t seems reassured by it, though. “This is just a first meeting, to know each other!”

“I don’t want to know you.”

“Well, I do want to know you! Maybe we can talk about whatever you like, Connie.” [Name] smiles,

“I don’t need anybody!” Connie suddenly yells, slamming his hands on the table. [Name] jumps by the loud noise and fast movement, “I never needed anyone and I don’t need you!”

Closing his eyes, [Name] softly smiles. Though. “We need each other.” The sudden statement quiets the patient, and he looks at [Name] in confusion by his calm demeanor. “I need you, and you need me. Everything will work out in the end if the two of us help each other, Mr. Springer.”

The door slowly opens, revealing a guard pecking in, “do you need help here, doctor? We heard a loud noise.”

Shacking his head, the assistant answers, “there’s no need, thank you.” The guard nods, closing the door. [Name] turns his head to see Connie, who is quiet and thoughtful. He is frowning, but looks like he is considering the comment.

“I did what I have to do. They couldn’t see how great I was.” He whispers. “Nobody could see it— but I do. I don’t regret it.”

“I know you don’t.” [Name] didn’t exactly showed it, but the statement sent down his spine. He tried to hide it by staying still and unbothered, don’t knowing if he succeeded. “May I ask why?”

The patient snorts, “no, you may not.” He smirks, “we should talk more about me and not them.”

“Alright then. Let’s talk about Mr. Springer.”

“Finally someone appreciates my greatness on this stupid place!” He laughs, “maybe you aren’t that bad after all, doctor.”

The talk wasn’t that bad— Connie calmed down with the change of topic. [Name], like he thought at first, concluded Connie loved talking about himself and his achievements, just like another patient [Name] meet not to long ago. The assistant dropped some questions about his family to make sure the change of demeanor on the patient; and certainly, Connie’s anger showed instantly at the mention of his past actions.

The assistant didn’t exactly have a clue about what was Connie thinking. Yes, he was talking about himself like a mighty person, but his mind was thinking about the assistant. Finally someone who was not boring like the old doctors he had in the past. This one looked like he actually seemed competent enough to have interest on him— and like he said, he needed him.

He was needed.

The assistant looks a the clock and notices his time is over. Turning to the patient —who is still talking—, [Name] speaks, “It seems the session is over, Mr. Springer. This was a great talk.” The [hair color]-haired male stands up, and gives a smile that isn’t very well received.

“What? I don’t want you to go!” Connie’s voice gets higher, “you need me, remember?” Connie’s thoughts go overdrive; the doctor needs him, right?!

[Name]’s eyes widen, along with his mouth slightly open. But he remembers instantly the patient’s real feelings, and composes himself. Clearing his throat, the assistant speaks, “I said we need each other, Connie.” [Name] tries to calm him down, “I promise I will return soon. Sooner than you thought.”

Connie looks unsure— lips pressed and a frown are present on his face. It’s evident he doesn’t want him to go. [Name] patiently waits for an answer, “whatever. You will get sooner or later, after all, you are interested.” Connie smirks, and [Name] laughs.

“Sure thing, Mr. Springer.”

I’ll be waiting. After all, you said you need me.

。。。。。

“Done?” A voice says, making [Name] turn in surprise. He finds Levi, resting his back on the wall. The assistant nods, “let’s go then.”

“How was it?” Levi asks, looking ahead.

[Name] thinks for a moment— well, it could have been worse if Connie decided to let his emotions take control. “It was alright, he didn’t yell that much!”

Levi hums, “did you bring food this time?”

The young male keeps quiet and looks away in shame. “U-Uhm…”

“Unbelievable.”

。。。。。

Entering the cafeteria, the two instantly saw Mike already waiting. He waved, [Name] doing it in return too. Levi said to the assistant to sit with him, while he grabs his food and returns.

[Name] sits with Mike and smiles, “Hello, Mr. Zacharias!”

The taller man chuckles, “Just Mike is fine.” He takes a sip from his coffee, “nice to see you again. How has it been?”

“It’s been nice! Dr. Jaeger’s help has been huge. Mr. Smith’s too.”

Mike closes his eyes and smirks, “I bet.” The assistant blinks, tilting his head by the answer. Before he can say anything, Levi returns with the food, placing it on the table.

“Sucks for you if you don’t eat bacon.”

The taller male raises an eyebrow, “you didn’t bring lunch again?” the question gains a blush from the young man, shacking his head while he looks down in shame.

“This brat is clueless. Don’t expect us to share ours for  you everyday, airhead.”

“I’m sorry! That isn’t my intention by any means!” [Name] shakes his hands in front of him in denial, eyes widening and blushing. Seeing his gestures, Levi smirks, and Mike laughs.

“He’s just joking, [Name]. We don’t mind.”

“Speak for yourself.” Levi takes a bite of his sandwich, and he certainly catches his own liking by playing the assistant like this. He tries to hide his smirk while eating, succeeding.

“It’s not often I see you eating sandwich. You did it?” Mike asks, turning to Levi.

“Petra did it for me. Was going to ask Moblit to do it for me but she appeared out of nowhere and insisted. Not bad, though.”

Mike smirks, “I see she’s trying to get notices with food.” The comments gets a snort from the ravenette, who doesn’t say anything. [Name] simply looks confused but tries not to pry or ask, but Mike can see the young male’s lost expression. “Petra works in the same area Levi does, not his assistant, but she’s always helping him.”

Nodding, [Name] hums, “I see. Guess I haven’t met her yet.”

The ravenette takes half of his sandwich and hands it to the assistant, “here.”

Blushing, [Name] stutters, feeling bad. “I-I don’t want to take it, thanks!” He tries to say, but it looks like the ravenette is not buying it.

“Am I not your superior? Shit, this brat is more disobedient than I thought. Wonder how four-eyes works with you.”

[Name] instantly takes the food, flustered and embarrassed, “I will take it! Thank you, Mr. Ackerman!” He exclaimed, and immediately busies himself with the food, gaining a smirk from Levi and a laugh from Mike.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Anyways, [Name], how did you find the asylum?” Mike asks.

Gulping, the younger male answers, “I found an ad on the newspaper— actually got an answer right away!”

The taller man hums, closing his eyes. “I see.”

The rest of the talking is quiet, Levi and Mike chatting pleasantly with [Name]. They learn the assistant is not far from the asylum in a department building nearly outside the city.

“Is it full?” Levi asks.

“Not really. The building isn’t… in the best conditions, hehe.” [Name] nervously laughs, “there aren’t many people on the building, so it’s quiet.”

“So you don’t interact with your neighbors?”

“I do, actually. Only with a guy that is near my age, and a old lady that lives upstairs, but my other neighbors aren’t that… friendly.”

“I see.”

“Looks like lunch time is over,” Mike states as he sees the clock, “I have to met with Erwin right now. It was nice to talk to you, [Name]. See you soon.” He says, waving at the assistant, who waves in return with a smile.

“Need to go too. I don’t have free time now.” Levi says, “see you later.” He waves one time, and then leaves.

The assistant smiles— it seems being here would not be that bad, actually. He leaves the cafeteria, and spends his time on working on paperwork.

。。。。。

His shift is over. The assistant says goodbye to the workers he sees in the halls, and walks trough the path where the stop is. Sitting down, [Name] thinks of how his day went— it was… certainly normal. He couldn’t see or talk to his boss today, but that wasn’t much of a problem thanks to Levi’s and Mike’s help. He didn’t feel alone or stressed.

His mind was filled with thoughts of the patient, that he didn’t notice a black car stopping just in front of where he was, waiting on the bus stop. Until the unknown person lowered his window, and he honked, making [Name] jump in fear.

The young man lifted his gaze to meet the silver-gray ones, along with a smirk on his face— instantly recognizing it was Levi. “S-Sir?” Was he going to tell him something? Did he forgot anything?

“Get in the car.” The ravenette plainly ordered, unbothered. When he didn’t see the other moving, his eyebrow raised, “what? Never got a lift?”

“I-It’s alright, sir! I-I can wait for—”

“I said get in.”

[Name] was troubled— the idea of getting a lift was nice, but he didn’t want to bother him. But, it was him who decided to do it, right? It couldn’t be that bad anyways. “A-Alright.” He said, awkwardly getting in the car.

The interior looked impeccable— the car seemed brand new! There was a scent of mint, too. “Thanks a lot! Y-You didn’t ha—”

“It’s not a problem.” The car began to move, and an awkward silence overcome. “Where was it?” He asks, receiving a response with the address.

[Name] is busy looking down, his hands on his lap. There’s silence again, but the ravenette is fast enough to break it.

“Did you see four-eyes at all?”

“I couldn’t, unfortunately. Did you?”

Levi hides a smirk from appearing when he remembers how frustrated the blond doctor looked when he couldn’t even see for a second his precious assistant. He even grunted when Levi said he had lunch with him along with Mike, catching clearly the jealously coming from him.

“Yeah. He looked like shit as always.”

“I-I see…”

The car stops in front of a building— it looks old and not that clean. So that was he was talking about “not in the best conditions”. The building is the only one in the place, as it is surrender by shops a little far away from it. There’s absolute silence.

“Thank you and sorry for the trouble, Mr. Ackerman. I really appreciate your help.” The assistant smiles and opens the door to leave.

“Levi is just fine.” The ravenette speaks, “and I said it wasn’t trouble at all. Don’t get comfy, thought.”

“O-Of course not!” The younger says, flustered. He exits the car and closes the door. Clearing his throat, he speaks, “see you tomorrow, Levi.”

“Sure.” Is the only thing Levi says, watching [Name]’s form walking to the building. When he gets to the door, the assistant turns and waves at him, which Levi only nods in return. [Name] enters the building. disappearing from his sight.

The ravenette stays there for five minutes, gaze locked in the door the other went in. He can’t stand him living in this filthy building— so disgusting.

He begins to slowly drive away from the building.

Not that bad. He certainly has something I can’t see…

For now.


Tags
4 years ago

N0IRRRR COMING IN CLITCH WHEN NO ONE IS UPDATING 💖💗💓💞💝💕❣️💗❤️💞💗💕💘💞💝💗

N0IRRRR COMING IN CLITCH WHEN NO ONE IS UPDATING 💖💗💓💞💝💕❣️💗❤️💞💗💕💘💞💝💗

LETS GOOOOOOOOO


Tags
5 years ago

Did I just read save us all and cry my eyes out? Yes. Yes I did. Do want more of that sweet, sweet angst? Yes. Yes I do.

Thank you! Im happy it was angsty. It's really messy, so thanks ♡ Flower curse has angst too, but it isn't gender neautral! So if you havent read it already i recommend it :p I hope i can write more angst soon!!

4 years ago

Love isn’t everything

soulmate au.

You stared at the baby blue sky, the grass blades sticking through the fabric of your shirt as you roll to your stomach to watch the dandelions still waiting to bloom.

A red string appeared.

It swirled and twisted around your finger like a smoke way downwards and away to somewhere you couldn’t even bother to know.

You had a soulmate now. You growl in annoyance, bringing the edges of your palm against your eyelids and dig them deep until you see the blue and red cluster of dots flying through the darkness. How could this happen?

Just as you, finally, settled into your skin and thought you were okay being soulless. That was fine. You were proud of it ! Not be chained down by another person who could be anyone, to be chained to a stranger that had so much damn control in your life. Peace!

And then the universe throws this bullshit at you.

Great !

You didn’t mean to murder someone in your past live, or step on a puppy, because this red string means that everything you went through— the bullies, the family, the struggles, the 3 a.m. thoughts, was for nothing.

That, in the end, all that you went through was to be suddenly washed away by the magical power of love and you’ll settle down, abandon your dreams, and marry some fucking stranger.

Weren’t parents always preaching about white vans and strange men, but go all kumbaya when a string gets involve.

It gets your blood pumping, your teeth grinding and you look at the red string wrapped around your finger and wished the color of your soul mate was the same when you spilled it in the ground.

The clouds above float so lazily, carefree and you, not for the first time, wish you too could just float away and leave the problems that chain you.

One of those chains went by the name of Responsibilities. And it was ringing through your phone, vibrating in your pocket, calling you forth.

You fished it, lazily, not even bothering to see the name of the number, as it wasn’t even a second before the screaming match started.

“WHERE ARE YOU? Do you not REALISE what today’s date is?! We have investors coming today! And where are you?!”

You sigh, already exhausted the moment you pressed the answer button. Yes, you remember today’s date as you haven’t had a decent lick of sleep preparing to the lead up of the meeting.

You are a shitty artist, with a shitty life and little pay.

“Why do you even want me there? I already painted all the art you wanted, let the others deal with those vultures.”

You truly did put as much effort into those paintings, making everything you could squeeze from the dry towel of creativity.

“They requested you by name! They’re interested! And that means money!”

“So?”

“Y/N!”

You pull the phone away from your throbbing ear, grimacing at the thought of facing your dealer on a Monday.

“Okay, okay, I heard you. I’m coming over now,” With that, you hanged up and with it all the hopes that you could rest.

You look down at the red string. You tisk in disgust and start walking towards your doom.

___

Never in your life did you think that you wanted to hang out with homeless people before. They’re an interesting type of people, with equally interesting stories to tell. Maybe if you had stayed in the park, you could have gotten the chance to hang with them.

It could have been ten thousand times better than the shitty situation you were in.

Turns out, you were going to the investors, not the other way around. People talked pleasantly, light laughter and prim and proper of a polite society. And here you were, a bright fish out of water.

You kept your gaze downwards, sitting in the dark corner, away from the big crowds. A cold drink being steadily warmed through your gripping hands, as the boredom started to mix with anxiety like a bad cocktail.

This isn’t exactly what you imagined. You thought of fancy suits and fancier dresses with butlers and waitress with drinks at hand. Well, they have all the above, but not once has anyone said anything to you. Or even pointed or looked your way.

But the red string is still there, taunting you with each passing second you stare at it. Bloody thing still wrapped itself around your finger, not actually touching your skin but close enough to tug at you.

You hate it.

Oh well, at least there were free drinks here. It’ll be long over if you can just stand there with your eyes cast down, not making a fuss. Which was all going pretty well in your humble opinion, when the cursed string tugged at you.

You seethed silently, wishing it would just stop– when it suddenly tugs harder again, snapping your eyes upwards.

And find your soulmate is staring at you. Maybe its the wine in your system, but time slowed down, just for the two of you, the glow of the low lights shining through his back and casting an angelic form for his blond hair. He too, look surprise, his grip on the glass drink fell loose, (he has the bluest eyes) shattering the trance that got you thinking the strangest things.

As people around him gasp and try to help, crowding around him, you snatch the opportunity with both hands and fast walk the hell out of there.

With hands trembling, you fumble out a text saying a quick sorry for your shitty dealer/friend, knowing this was important to her. You would even donate more time, just make it up to them.

A hand blocked your exit.

You jerked around, armed and ready to give whoever a piece of your mind, when you froze at the small man blocking your way. He was glaring exclusively at you, his dark eyes pinning you with ease.

“Excuse me, but I’m trying to–”

“You aren’t going anywhere without talking to Erwin.” You tilt your head in confusion, opening your mouth to maybe sway him he has the wrong person, only to shut it when the man at the other end of the string starts walking this way.

Panicking, you smile in apology as you rip the door open, pushing him aside so quickly the poor man stumble and cussed.

You didn’t even made to be steps outside when a body crashed into your right side, with such brutal force it left you gasping and swaying in your feet. Shitty balance!

Your hands instinctively grabbed anything to stop the date with gravity, then you’re holding a warm hand as your eyes look up to your saviour.

You just noticed how blue his eyes are. Strong jaw, and contoured chiseled face, lips full and with those eyes just staring at, what feels like his soul piercing.

Warmth rushes through your face, snatching your hand away, just to see the barest little string between you. God, you were staring.

But before you could make a classic Hollywood escape, the same hand caught your elbow as you were turning.

“Please, could we just talk?”

Jesus, even his voice is nice; Deep and just your type. This is a cliche, a teenager’s wet dream, but you live in reality and that means not talking to strangers. But you stumble through your words.

“Uh— I mean, I got, a, um, date. And well, I can’t stay here? I, uh, really nice seeing you. I’m sorry, uh, I gotta roll. Dude.” You blurted so much bullshit, you wondered if he was going to call you out from just smelling it. The smaller (midget, your mind snarked) man glared at you with such vengeance and hate, that maybe, yeah, leaving would give you the best chance of survival.

And now, you could see a woman, the thing that hard slammed you in the side, still grinning in victory.

The man’s face (your soulmate, your heart whispered) fall into devastation. It almost, too close, cracked your face, letting go of your tangled fears, but then you caught yourself in the flashes of memories of bullies, and spite ran through your chest.

“I— I am sorry. I—” The ringing of your phone has never felt so relieving. You fumbled through your jeans, shaking hands opening it to be greeted by a old friend in the same industry. His hand fell limp in his side.

“Hey, Y/N! Sorry for calling so late but—”

“Hey, sweetheart, yeah, I know I’m late. I’m sorry, I’ll call you and explain this later, please call me back?”

“Um, what the fuck? Uh, sure.”

You hang up, breathing hard and scratch your cheek, not meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry, look— I haven’t really settled down for this? I — Jesus.” 

This is a mess, you need to get the fuck out of here. That must have bleed into your face, because his grip was back with vengeance, holding a grid tight hold to you. You jump back in surprise.

“Please, just your name. That’s all, please?” It’s so weird, the man looks like he belongs among the CEO’s of New York, the top dogs that are miles apart from the normal joe like yourself. It strange, seeing him so crumbled and desperate for such a simple thing. 

“I’m y/n,” You whispered like holding into a secret, childish and  — wait a fucking moment, did you just tell him your name? Without you realizing it?

“Erwin, I’m Erwin Smith. Can we please talk Y/N?”

Well shit.

Pt.2


Tags
5 years ago

Being a writer like

The beginning? Yeah, got that covered.

The ending? Totally! It’s awesome, got all that planned out already.

The middle part? Uh… ???????


Tags
3 years ago

Hi, hi! 👋👋 I kept checking back to see if you’ve returned and you have! I’m very happy to see you again. I hope that you’re doing alright and that all is well. Sending you much love! 🥺💙

thank you so much (: i'm doing much better now! and i'm so happy to see you all again with the support of this bad author hehe ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ sending love to!!!!! ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚


Tags
5 years ago

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

E M P T Y / 9

chapter nine  — new mornings

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They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

__ __ __ __ __

“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

__ __ __ __ __

Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

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Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

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It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

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The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽


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5 years ago

I have read it and it’s awesome! (So are your other series)

Oh my thank youuu!!! 😭😭😭😭 im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ♡

3 years ago

Male x Male reader blogs Suggestions

So, these are just some male reader blogs that I know of!

@softboy5393 - They are a really good friend of mines and writes amazing male reader stories. They'll also write trans.

@marilynmonroefanfics - if you like reading headcannons, then this blog is for you! He does take a while to do it but in the end, it's worth the wait.

@chaoticforever - If you like reading yandere males x male reader, this is the blog for you!

@pietroshusband and @callmeshakespurr - they are new authors on the scene! Go show them support!

@iliumheightnights - You like reading fluff and angst (happy ending) then this one is for you!

@clouddd-hannn - Like Kpop? Then this one is for you! They write amazing Kpop males x male reader

@bnha-dumpster - Like dark stuff (the REALLY, REALLY dark stuff) then this one is for you! (Though, proceed with caution on this one.)

@bubble-tea-bee - Like slashers? This blog is for you then (You must be 17 years or older, its is part of their rules)

@n0irrrr - Attack on Titan? This blog is for you!

Honorable mentions: @mlm-writer @davidlikesboys02 @bonnyskies @myfeetkeepdancing @malereader-inserts @onionsaremeansstuff @patrickswhore @malexmalereader @undercoveravenger @theotakusupreme-h1dd3n @syiano

feel free to put your suggestions!


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n0irrrr - gnossienne.
gnossienne.

【male/gn!reader fanfiction ☆ mostly attack on titan 】hiatus ; reqs into consideration ٩( 'ω' )و٩( 'ω' )وenglish's not my first language, expect trash, self-indulgent writing ☆24

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