Jingle Bells For You

owl lady 🦉

CRYING OVER DICK.

i actually dont mind tumblr posts reposted to pinterest. the 13 y/o "pinterest in the only social media my parents let me have" girlies deserve a little treat

babe get up it's time to go frotting in the woods today

you guys should just start frotting in the woods

This sounds like the kind of story I used to imagine inside of my head as a 6 year old

This is better than any Marvel movie I have ever seen

Sure I could try the shoelaces thing, or I could just advertise I'm on tumblr on my water bottle.

Once in 7th grade I saw my math teacher pull up his school email with what I now consider a measly 10,000 unread emails in his inbox. Back then, I was a simple lad and thought him to be incredibly important so I made it my goal to surpass him in emails. I am proud to announce that my email now contains nearly 40,000 unread emails and continues to grow.

I will be judging the responses, silently.

No one wants to work anymore. All kids these days want is to physically transform into animals. Bones cracking, breaking, splintering apart, stitching together into exhilaratingly new shapes. Hair, all kinds hair, various fluids and oils and whatnot. Monstrous musk, hideous scents foreign to civilization. Ragged-lip maws dripping with alien teeth, crowning in teething agony like the birth of an infant god. Gore-streaked visages howling in pagan delight by the pale light of the moon, etc. No work ethic. He who makes a beast of himself takes away the pain of clocking in tomorrow

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