I Guess I’m Just Obsessive And Weird. And In Denial. I’ll Figure It Out.

try saturn conjunct south node / opposite north node . . . . js

when you have saturn and north node in the same house and sign……..

Ku ren he

酷栠盒

他的爱心被很大

从来没想，

你现在会不这里

怎么做呢

如果没有你

我还吸烟，所以

记得你的记忆

我不会忘我们的生活

我心疼

酷栠峆

i had a premonition dream of mr jones i dated summer ‘23. it was truly the white trash love fantasy i always wanted. sucked it didn’t last longer.

but i had a dream jacob and i were putting art in the back of my car, paintings. at nighttime. real late at nightt. in an urban environment. i felt uneasy because it was late.

fast forward, i saw a gun and immediately jolted up. awake.

but what did it mean.

i didn’t carry art or paintings in my car for several months. i interpreted it i would get robbed while paintings were in my car.

looking back, i did get robbed in the end.

once i got closer to meeting my prince of cane run, i was confused. i hadn’t been talking to jacob. but i couldn’t help but think about the dream more and more. it was close to manifesting.

one night in old louisville, the dream comes true.

the baron of pleasure ridge,

side to side, with the prince of cane road. they put a painted, old

ikea bed headboard

in the back of my 2008 kia suv. it’s midnight.

*britney spears voice* holy fuck balls. i turn from my trunk, take it all in. ethereal. the dream is coming true.

jacob was just a substitute i guess because you can’t dream a face you haven’t seen. and they both were bottoms who couldn’t keep up the act. jacob sure ain’t shively though. cane run and i shared toxic habits and played a long game of cat and mouse, ensuing the borderline disorderly explosion. or episode.

but truthfully i see it was message from universe ou spirit, that i could not successfully integrate my drug addiction or drug use like i had been trying.

the best i could hope for was a sexy overweight but psychotically unstable, south side BOTTOM. bear. on drugs. security guard. bitch ass [REDACTED].

the end of the dream signaled the end of my summer fling, the summer i turned 27. the summer i became a MAN. jk unless.

on a warm, late june afternoon. my dad and three of his friends surround me, as we ascend his front yard. we walk up the pebbled concrete steps.

Lee knocks on the front door. we’re at the house of the man who had just held me hostage. bruised my neck. the week of our birthdays. odd timing. i have a bad history with birthdays though.

(psych ward @ 21)

we hear a bullet enter a chamber. cocked.

time to go.

中文课照片 · chinese class in photos

这个星期我们学习新的诗歌

Sun Sextile Moon Thoughts

Said to be one of the most benefic aspects in a natal chart, when I read that sun sextile moon natives have a “rather easy” life, I laughed. While the rest of the interpretations are quite flattering, such as being popular, your will and emotional nature in balance most of the time… the downside is that we’re too lazy, or too satisfied with how things are that we can be complacent. After all, you need some friction like in a square or opposition to inspire some action. If you aren’t unhappy with how things are, why change them to be better?

Still, it’s been a few years since I read about my sun sextile moon aspect, and I think it is as great as it sounds. But it can also be a bit of a curse. One thing to note that is interesting to me, is that my dad, best friend Patrick and my ex boyfriend Craig all have sun trine moon. That aspect is supposedly even more benefic than the sextile, because the energies are LESS comfortable, but still very harmonious. I spent many a year thinking I did not know one single other person with a sun sextile moon in their chart, until I revisited my younger sister’s chart and saw it right there staring at me. So ok. My little sister has the same aspect, and a lot of people close to me have trines. Not sure what that means, if anything, but pretty cool. My good friend Chelsea has a sun square moon, which when I read about this aspect, as well as the opposition, I imagined like, very troubled unhappy people. I felt sorry for them. But when I found out Chelsea had a square, and had lived with / known her for a while, I realized that my impression of the square wasn’t necessarily true. Chelsea is awesome, (Taurus sun Leo moon) and while her Leo moon definitely shows and overpowers at times, her Taurus sun gives her impeccable taste and she is a lovely homemaker!!! So even though sextile and trines are technically the “good” “harmonious” aspects, just knowing Chelsea tells me that sun square moon isn’t all that bad and definitely isn’t the end of the world.

BUT as a sun sextile moon native, I guess I am reluctantly inclined to say there may be some truth to it. Growing up I was generally pretty popular in school and classes. Less so on the sports field but I certainly didn’t lack for friends or a social life. But one thing that stuck out to me was when my step dad said I could have my girlfriend over when I was in middle school. He told me he knew he could trust me with her in the house because I was too laid back to like pressure her or yadda yadda. This sounds weirder as I’m typing it than how it felt when it happened. Basically, he just said I’m laid back as a person. Whether that was just an innuendo that he and my mom already knew I was gay, only the Lord knows, however this stuck with me.

Astrological Generations ~ Uranus, Neptune & Pluto

~Uranus in Capricorn 1988-1996: the sub-generation capable of finding ways to capitalise on unique talents & create a demand only they can supply.Politically active & conscious. Conservative in progressiveness, likes to keep the wisdom of old in the new; maintains individual identity in identity politics

~Uranus in Aquarius 1995-2003: Desire to turn the world upside down and rattle every existing structure for the one that could be. Politically active & activist - often form friendships with likeminded individuals within these groups who believe in the same causes

~Uranus in Pisces 2003-2010: Blue/green/mermaid hair; low limb tattoos; neon black style. Experimental with belief systems, prefer individual pursuits such as the occult/astrology/tarot. High utopian ideals & compassionate conscience, want to change the world overnight

~Neptune in Aquarius 1998-2012:- Share the core wound of exile/ separation from humanity as a whole; don’t feel ‘normal’, or ‘like everybody else’ despite not knowing how it feels to be anybody else. Friendship/social groups are forms of redemption, often underpinned by a deeper spiritual urge and desperation to belong

~Pluto in Virgo 1957-1972: The generational legacy is the innovation of new practices, techniques & outcomes that transform the profession for decades to come- especially in health/wellness/tech sectors. Virgo/6th house rules domestic pets; this is the generation of every man with a dog

~Pluto in Libra 1972-1984: The generational legacy is the transformation of human relationships; a re-evaluation of ‘commitment’ -with significantly more importance placed on satisfying/intimate/truthful connections, and being able to walk away from compromising people and bad love

~Pluto in Scorpio 1984-1995: The generational legacy is uncovering of hidden, lost, and ancestral knowledge buried in the collective unconsciousness. These are the ones who recite the alphabet of symbols and the alchemic table, the Chemists & Sorceresses mixing old physical & psychic healing potions

~Pluto in Sagittarius 1995-2008: The generational legacy is the composition of new belief systems & castes of connection that provide the meaning, mysteries, & higher purposes that will carry the inner Spirit of humanity through the secular age

-Cherry

这个学期，我有“漂亮的汉子课”，汉子的历史和书法，那么东西。我喜欢历史，看怎么汉子改变不同的时代。有繁体字很漂亮，我想要没有改变了。但是，也有简单字我很高兴现在使用。书法，我不耐心。我也不在乎如果我的汉子是理想。但是，我赏识这个传统的艺术。

我几乎忘了，我开始了实习期。它是在一家亚洲文化中心。我有两个中国主任。我下还这个实习期。我很高兴。很好的机会。我现在更老，不是孩子或者年轻人。好吧，我饿死了。我现在要吃爆米花。再见 ！

Tetsuhiro Wakabayashi ~ White moth and Brown Leaf

ናድያ நதியா приятел ナディア ناديه ਨਾਦੀਆ

omg my virgo moon makes me so judgmental by default …. i will judge people for the most arbitrary things (usually their personality, not physical features)

but then my cancer sun 12th house is like so forgiving and compassionate….. truly i am such a humanist and will forgive anyone at the drop of a hat and always try to see the good in people.

but my moon square pluto // mars opp pluto is like… if you piss me off I Will End You