Me, At Work: Man... I'm So Lucky To Have This Job......................................................................................................................

fucking gotem lmao

I'm exhausted like all the time. I can't drink coffee because it makes my stomach hurt and it makes me sleepy. but not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. no sleeping medication has ever worked for me and medications that are supposed to make you drowsy as a side effect don't do shit to me

I was up until 5 am writing fanfic last night. I woke up at 9:30 this morning. this is the most rested I've felt in weeks

what the hell am I because I'm clearly not human

it's that time of night everyone! time to sort thru memories from the day and file them away as either normal or horrendously embarrassing

aaaannnd don't wanna spoil anything but let's just say the normal folder is gonna be pretty fucking thin

the greatest manifestation of my hubris is occasionally thinking about attempting an undertale genocide run

and remembering the fight with papyrus is my karmic comeuppance

I get so quickly and stupidly attached to inanimate objects. like, I used to work a custodial job where one of the buckets we used said "P.P." on it for some reason. loved that bucket like a child. tore me up inside to use any other bucket

my sweet P.P. bucket I miss you

me: I gotta get up early so it's super important I get good sleep tonight

brain: i-important?? that's scary! too much pressure! noooo we should stay up watching youtube with steadily growing anxiety instead!

there's two wolves inside me when I'm writing fanfic:

the wolf that recognizes it's better if I write short fics so I don't get burnt out and actually finish them

and the wolf that remembers that one time the hyperfixation was so strong I wrote 7,000 words in one sitting

yo check this out. Alexa, cure cancer

Alexa-

hearing bird noises in the forest compels me to smile, to do a jig in my soul, to stroll with the gaiety of a man reborn

conversely hearing my phone buzz compels me to rot like half a potato fallen behind the stove

yet my ears subject me to both with the same cold efficiency. we live in a fallen world indeed