Minecraft Is Not About Mining! It Is Not About Diamonds! It Is About. Pretending To Kiss Your Friends

the white house is such a stupid name. if i were president the first thing i would do is call it the pussy pavilion. the second thing i would do is unleash the bugs of the night

i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

"Making a better burger is literally so simple, I don't know why McDonald's doesn't do it this way. First we're going to begin by craft dry-aging this A5 wagyu beef with the sho-shu-ryuba technique that I learned at a restaurant you're only allowed to work at if your parents are bluelinked on wikipedia..."

Collection

cats are ideal bc they're gods most autistic creatures

marketing guy: hmmm yeah we need to make vodka soda branded as “gay water.” make sure the packaging looks like diaper packaging.

other marketing guy: maybe we should add funny little stickers, like–

both at the same time: racism is small dick energy!

his name is orson welles because I watch his movies and go Well that was orsome

Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.