Mikayuumouse - Mikayuumouse

I truly feel bad for Akutagawa, though. Like, I think we're overlooking the fact that that's a man Akutagawa gave his life to save, because that same man's life was that precious to him. And now he died in front of his eyes. The man Akutagawa willingly committed the ultimate sacrifice for in order to save. Seeing Atsushi die, right in front of him, without him having the chance to do anything to impede it... That has to be a worse fate than death for Akutagawa.

So I was reading Wan! on mangadex earlier, and I got to chapter 166. I noticed this panel had two very interesting typos

I know mangadex isn't an official translation ofc, and maybe it was on purpose, but they spelled homicide as homocide. Considering the homo undertones of like, all of Bsd, maybe it was just the translators poking fun at the word lmao, but idk

my favorites pics of 'the eras tour' ♡

Yes I like higuchi. Yes I ship sskk. No I do not ship akuhigu. We exist 😔

you’re losing me - taylor swift

I have a hunch that Asagiri and Harukawa replay Akutagawa's death a lot in flashbacks as of late in the manga to justify for Bones' very very horrible adaptation of his death

dont kill yourself! Shin soukoku

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Becuase he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

Okay so we all know that Atsushi must've replayed Akutagawa's death and final words like a million times in his head,

But what about the bite?

I know Akutagawa biting Atsushi while he was a vamp was after Akutagawa's death, but still, Atsushi had ample-ish time to think about it

I love how Akutagawa bites Jouno, Higuchi, etc all on their shoulder but when it's *Atsushi*, Akutagawa pulls down the collar of his shirt and bites him on the neck

There's no way in hell that Atsushi *didn't* think over that moment a bunch (the romantic tension was insane in that scene)

The fact that Akutagawa's lips and mouth have canonly come into contact with Atsushi's bare skin is something that I hold dearly in my heart

But really though, if sskk ever addresses the bite thing it's going to be so awkward, I love it 😭

First Akutagawa dies to save Atsushi, then he gives Atsushi a hickey in the middle of the war, and now Atsushi just died to save Akutagawa. How have they not kissed yet

So like

Akutagawa is in love with Atsushi

If you took this out of context this would genuinely look like an enemies to lovers romance manga scene 🙏

Also Harukawa wrote an illustrator's note (I think it's at the end of volume 5?) about how she draws eyes, and how she portrays the character's current growth, personality and aspect on the world through their eyes

Akutagawa's eyes have almost always been dark, the representation for how dark his life and character is

But Atsushi brings light to them

In chapter 121.5 where Akutagawa's eyes grow wide as he sees Atsushi die, it's not just a show of how shocked Akutagawa is, it shows how Atsushi lightens Akutagawa's eyes, how much he's affected him for the greater good. Atsushi brings out a new side to Akutagawa

His eyes are incredibly light as he recalls his memories and gets hit by Atsushi's death that wasn't even just a death, but a death to save him. To protect him

Because Atsushi thinks Akutagawa is worth protecting

So just, like, I really love how chapter 122 not only shows Atsushi finally seeing Akutagawa's past and fully understanding Akutagawa's trauma and even relating to him, but it also shows how Akutagawa truly feels about Atsushi (although the "and then..." definitely left us on a cliffhanger)

I love them