Mikayuumouse - Mikayuumouse

𐙚₊˚⊹♡

i'll live my life by chasing you

my human heart in hand

Taylor accepting the 2025 iHeart Radio Music Award for Tour of the Century

what’s like an ambitious fic idea you have? Or idk favorite au to write/read?

there's sooo many big fics I want to write but idk if I can handle all that 😔 so I stick to oneshots and short fics (like six chapters max for me tbh, I have commitment issues)

So smth ambitious for me uhh

That might be my WIP "stole my heart" which is a thief Atsushi x detective Akutagawa longfic set in 1920s America. I've written little for it but it's huge in my head, I'd say it's ambitious because I'm writing like a whole mystery plot to it (Poe pls help me) but it's also gotta incorporate lots of romance 😔

There'd be a lot of miscommunication and pining and probably smut and lots of angst and moral dilemma and ofc m u r d e r because even though Atsushi is just a thief in this doesn't mean I won't go all Agatha Christie and murder some people in the fic (also Atsushi isn't a petty thief, he's a big-time wanted criminal :>)

It's been really exciting to brainstorm! :D

And for favorite AU to write might be...hm... ngl I hate like all of my writing but an AU that's fun every time is a wild west AU

My favorite AU to read is probably a college AU ngl they just hit different every time (I may also have a soft spot for it bc it was a college AU that got me into fanfiction)

what if Atsushi kept the coat. What if after all of this he tries to hand it to Akutagawa, who just swats it away and hugs Atsushi tight. What THEN

Headcanon: I like to think Adam just refuses to swear infront of Chuuya.

At first Chuuya thought it was just some professionalism bullshit that Adam always kept his cool like that.

But then he witnessed Adam go off on Shirase and covered Chuuya’s ears. Though he didn’t account for that Chuuya could read his lips.

He does this every time and Chuuya has yet to hear him swear but he will one of these days.

Bsd wan doodles 😔 they're all from the first manga volume

I drew them all on the same page;

No, for real though. I'm thinking about Atsushi having some real case of separation anxiety from Akutagawa after the doa events. Before, he would have never, ever expected that losing Akutagawa would have effected him; but the days following his death, before they met again and before Akutagawa came back, where a new hell he never experienced before. Feeling like half of him was physically, violently teared from him, struggling to cope, trying to get used to live with the feeling of missing a piece of himself. A wound his ability can't regenerate no matter how much he irrationally prays for it to. And when Akutagawa is back, like a dream, like a miracle, the idea of losing him again is something debilitating and terrifying Atsushi just can't tolerate. He can't leave his side for even one instant. He wakes up lost and terrified searching around for Akutagawa because he fell again in the nightmare of living in a world where he isn't there. Just yeah

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Becuase he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.