HOLY SHET!!! IT'S A DUCKING PAINTING!!!

This is so fucking true.

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I ever go off the grid, please tell my mom I'm living in one of these caves

Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

Me: I'll get the contract ready...

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.

I then go straight home. The bully thinks I'm running away. I later return with a wooden staff I got from the renaissance fair that's almost as tall as I am. "I got this stick. And imma beat you with it"

Prompt #5

He snickered mockingly.

"You're too much of a chicken to actually go through with this."

She bit the inside of her cheeks hard, trying to show as little emotion as possible. She was done with his bullying.

"Watch me."

*intense thinking* you... could be the god mother if you want! Come over anytime! And you can choose the middle name! And teach the child magic!

“You should be aware that casting this spell will legally require me to take your firstborn child” said the Witch, “but the meaning of ‘take’ was never defined, so I imagine we can figure out a loophole or two that’d work for you.”

I started wheezing!!! XD

HAHAHA HOW WOULD LEO REACT TO SEEING A FIGURINE OF DONNIE LIKE THIS 💀

Please, he would pass out from oxygen deprivation-

I know someone who would love these... and he's 2-D! It's..... Warumono-san from Mr. Villain's day off!!!!

Panda Éclair / Panda Roll Cake

Another hero: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ENGAGED TO A VILLAIN?!?!?! Me: 1. they're hot. 2. We're both ADHD 3. Their rambles are way too cute. How could I not marry them?

A supervillain known for going on tangents during a monologue has captured the hero. The hero broke free of the restraints a while ago but pretends to remain captured to see how off topic the supervillain will get.

Hey... That's a good deal. I'm bisexual, I love Hades from greek mythology cause he's the nicest person. I'd be happy to date/marry his daughter.

You are perfectly immortal. You can’t age, you can’t get any wounds, you can survive anything, and even if the universe were to end you are immediately taken to another universe. Not because you are demi-god or a wizard, but because the god of death’s daughter is in love with you.

Me: Oh? So that's how it's going to be then.... fine. No more Mr. Nice genie.

After you gave your master the standard 3 wishes, you told him to leave the lamp in a place like a women’s shelter or a homeless camp. Instead he sold your lamp to the highest bidder and now you are determined to twist the 3 wishes to the detriment of both your current and former master.