暗くならないと何かを外に出す力が出ないのは何故だろうか。暗くいる方が好きなんだろうけれど、鬱病ほどにまで暗くなると本当に脳の芯が絶望で埋もれて鈍くなるような感覚がするので、それを過ぎた辺りからでないといけない。

#lemofoto #endresspoetry #awesome

#lemofoto

映画の趣味が合わない奴と映画を観るたびにすり減っていく。

無言でも離れていても、精神が繋がっていることが重要。

人は楽すると不幸になるのに、何故楽したがるのだろう。戦わずして幸せを噛み締めることはできないのに。現代人は傷つきたくない精神の塊で、それが正と罷り通ってるから仕方がない。かく言う自分も社畜にも家畜にもなりたくないあまり積極性は低い。しかし、ロックオンした相手には献身的過ぎるのがむしろ欠点だ。

母は海外で働き幸せすぎて転職したという。なんという冒険心なんだろう。若い頃の母にリアルで会えたら良いのに。きっと一緒に連れ立って旅をする。

#lemofoto #vintagetoys

#lemofoto #acornaflo #drunk

#lemofoto

In Japan, many are intrigued solely by appearances of foreigners. Even before a single word is uttered, expectations rise unilaterally, envisioning the promise of new cultures, ideas, and information not typically found in Japan.

Yet, upon speaking in Japanese, a faint tinge of disappointment often flickers alongside surprise in their eyes. Hence, they often liken it humorously to talent who can't speak English, eliciting subtle laughter.

"Your father is a foreigner? And your mother? Japanese, huh? So where is your father from?" "Lebanon... where's that again? Ah, I see." "You have an older brother? He must be really cool." "Oh, your brother is Japanese? I see." Knowing this, I've never been to Lebanon, my father separated from my mother when I was five, and my brother, my half-brother, has eyes as thin as bean sprouts, so there's no thrilling revelation as expected. Thus, I tend to avoid initiating introductions about myself. Simply introducing myself often leads to others feeling obligated, disappointed, or finding me devoid of a character like a celebrity, leaving me tired of being myself without a set persona. I often find it impressive when I can strike up a friendly rapport with the bartender at a drinking spot.

Despite presenting a positive front, deep down my mind's core resembles a stubborn mass of negativity like a pineapple, and I have no intention of trying to captivate a man by portraying myself as an elegant woman.

While I fear gaining weight, I seek connection based on mutual feelings rather than appearances.