Remember Why Are You Doing It.

ok last thing. but what people fundamentally need to get through their heads is the significance of gaza fundraisers not being the same as like mutual aid when you're helping someone get groceries, because it is a genocide. there is insane deliberate scarcity and prices are unmanageable, because there is nowhere nearly enough for everyone, so only people who can pay can eat. and what positioning individual fundraisers as the only course of action does is quite simply give a tiny percentage of random people whose fundraisers take off the ability to pay those prices while thousands of others can't. and every one of those thousands of people without a fundraiser is suffering through the same inconceivably horrific reality. it is giving a few completely desperate people out of hundreds of thousands a slightly more favorable position in a horrific war economy of imposed scarcity. and what grassroots community kitchens do is try to mitigate in some small way that inconceivable hierarchy of who can pay and who can't, by stretching ingredients as far as they can last to cook meals at large scale and give them out at no cost. and obviously people are still going to send money to their friends and families because this is hell what else are we supposed to do but please just think about that before promoting endless individual fundraisers as somehow the most ethical way to help

A new beginning

It's September. After many rough winds, the dust has settled. June, July and August brought with them uncertainty, but here I am now. I am now in Malaysia. There's only a few days left before registration. Although I'm scared, I'm also relieved. So much has been done and I am one step closer to my goal.

During my first week here, my dad stayed with me in Malaysia at a separate hotel. He helped shop for necessities and I helped him pick out gifts for the rest of our family. It was quite the hassle. I remember people telling me that moving to Malaysia would be easy because everyone speaks English. I've found this to be a lie. Most people, in fact, do not speak English. In this era though, it is not a boundary we cannot cross. Google translate came in handy. I remember hosting a Japanese kid at out place before. This was ages ago, before the age of Google Translate. She could not speak English and relied on a tablet-sized device for her translations. It was not easy.

The most difficult part so far has been adjusting to how quiet the place is in general. Since I'm staying at a 2 room apartment and my roommate has still not moved in, its so so so quiet. It gives me the creeps. That's why I've come downstairs to the lobby to write. There is absolutely no way I could stay in my room any longer before I go insane.

I also find that the food here is very different. With all due respect to Malaysian culture, I have found that the food is pretty oily and the taste profile is worlds apart from what I'm used to. There is a sharp, almost citrus-y note in almost everything. Although I imagine someone else might enjoy it, I can't say I do. I miss the plain rice, garudhiya and curry. Even more than that, I miss the mas'huni and roshi.

I've written a lot about how things have been in Malaysia. But I also want to talk about how work was back in Maldives. I met so many patients who made me want to keep pursuing medicine. While there were definitely instances where patients behaved aggressively towards me, I can't blame them or even bring myself to be upset at them. Their pain and frustration was the result of a bigger issue with the healthcare industry as whole. Moments of helplessness gave me increased motivation.

Of course there was also the times where I could be helpful. Moments like these were much more common and naturally, I remember them a lot more fondly. My favorite interaction with a patient was when they requested me to translate for them on their second visit after being satisfied with my service on their first. They had come back after about 4 months. When they first took my name on a small piece of paper I did not think much of it, but I realized how much I had impacted them when they asked for me after so many months. It was a greater joy to see that they were doing much better than before.

During my time working, I met many great doctors as well. Among them, some more than others. In this regard the neurosurgeon was exceptional. He was an example of kindness, patience and diligence. I had gone into work thinking I would like to become a doctor who did not have to spend so much time in the hospital. I thought I would prefer to be someone with a good work-llife balance. After working with the said doctor though, I changed my mind. I believed I would much prefer the busy life.

That's all I have to say for now. That and that I cannot wait for uni to start. I am so excited to make anki cards and revise them. Watch me take those words back when school actually begins. I also need to note I am no longer sleep deprived. I am still dehydrated though, perhaps more than before. See you next time!

"this website uses cookies" fucking why. i wish we hadn't named it that, so cheap and unthreatening. a cookie can be anything from a single data point to actively tracking your usage throughout websites. and if you try to research it, you overwhelmingly get (ad-placed) cheery and chipper responses that "cookies are useful data tools that help websites to help you!"

one article suggests cookies allow for "more personalized websites." i do not want them to know how to personalize their website for me. what they really mean is "make this website better for advertisers." they are not going to turn the website a nice shade of my favorite color. they are going to put ads up they think i like. so it's not for me.

okay sure. it makes shopping easier! okay, great. spend money more! happy advertiser. but then why the fuck when you google how long cooked chicken good for are they skimming your data. why when you google can my dog eat tomatoes are they skimming your data. why does mixing bleach and vinegar bad? require someone skimming your data.

so now you slog through AI responses because sometimes the AI tells you no worries! cooked chicken can never go bad and all dogs go to heaven. something about this feels like being 13 before google was really-a-thing when you had to be kind of clever about how you used Ask Jeeves. what is even the point anymore. half of these sites are not written with human hands anymore. we are creating an infinite digital graveyard in order to give advertisers more space, more billboards.

you have to find the first reputable-looking site in a list of GORP.COM/HEALTH. and when you click the first thing it says is can i skim your data? and meanwhile yes bleach and vinegar bad, you've made chlorine gas.

and meanwhile! yes! the infinite digital graveyard. the internet turned into a true highway: devoid of life. endless paved monotony. the exit sign blinking - this website uses cookies.

ovulation

pros: convinced I'm the hottest woman to live

cons: feral

when i was a homeless 20-year-old i was rejected from multiple housing opportunities because i had 5k in medical debt from going to the ER after getting roofied and sexually assaulted (i was unconscious so calling 911 was not my decision) and UHC denied my insurance claim. so yeah, i'm actually deriving an enormous amount of pleasure from watching health insurance CEOs snivel and hide like the heartless cowards they are. may those who profit from our suffering live in fear of those they seek to deny.

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saving for later

dirty girl. l.hc

(nsfw + mdni) dubcon/noncon elements

hyuckie, his name mumbled into kisses, pressed up to every inch of him when you’re straddling his lap, making out at some godforsaken hour, his pretty lips slick with your spit, one hand resting on your hip where your shirt has ridden up, perched on top and all over him as he leans back, legs spread comfortably. and fuck, it’s like you’re pretending that his fat bulge isn’t straining against his sweats, your clothed pussy pressed to him through the layer of flimsy fabric. your pretty lips clumsily moving against his, fuck, you couldn’t possibly only want kisses when you’re practically rutting against his hard on.

but your words say otherwise, hyuck, i— i don’t know, your whine pitching in confusion, when his hand cups your clothed pussy, drool smeared across your lips as you pull away, only for his hold on your waist to tighten, locking you in close without an escape, flinching at the feeling on his palm pressing into your panties. and maybe he’s never fucked you before, but you’re lying, your panties soaked in his palm of his hand, fuck, he’s so fucking hard, surely you can tell, humping him like a dog in heat from just kisses?

come on, baby, haechan whispers, licking his bottom lip enticingly, i know you want it, deftly slipping a finger in, cold against your warm, wet folds, as your gasps cry out, only for your cries to be muffled by rough kisses, trapped in his lap as your breath is stolen harshly, your eyes clenched shut at the foreign sensation of his fingers rubbing your folds, pushing in with slick sounds of your arousal, fuck, you feel untouched, the way your pussy clenches and throbs around his fingers, a dripping mess all over his hand. your hands grasping at his shoulders, slipping against his loose t shirt, what cute muffled noises you make, and he’s only at two fingers, your resistance weakening as he curls his fingers deeper in your pussy, lewd squelches of arousal as it coats his hand, heat spreading beneath your skin as an unfamiliar sensation knots in your stomach, clinging to him and panting like a pet as haechan coerces an orgasm out of you, made such an embarrassing mess for a virgin, didn’t you?

his hands dripping with slick, chest heaving for breaths and he’s so unfazed, amused even,, especially when he’s ruined you, clothes rumpled and hair messy, lips swollen and bitten reddish, unable to catch your breath even as his fingers pull out, sticky mess coating his palm, pretty tears welling up in your dazed eyes, his wet hand grasping your chin and forcing you to look at haechan straight in the eyes. who knew you were such a dirty girl?

this one has been in drafts too long lol idk if i feel like making it longer atp

Read it once in your life, and never regret it. ✋✅

Do you feel bored of the posts asking for help from Gaza? You’re right, but imagine our situation as we live this war day after day for 13 months. Do you think we’re tired too?!!

Asking for help is not easy; it’s very embarrassing, especially for a family that used to live a decent life. My husband and I completed our university education with distinction, worked in respectable jobs, and were used to helping others, not asking for help. But the war has turned our lives into a nightmare; we lost our home, our sources of income, and even our ability to provide the simplest of needs.

I'm Hanan. For the past 13 months, we have been struggling to get healthy food and medicine for my child, whose weak body was attacked by infection, and for my elderly mother-in-law, who fell into a coma for several days and almost lost her life due to anemia caused by our inability to provide healthy food, as prices have risen more than 10 times. Now, we have run out of everything. While you are reading my message, my family and I are trying to survive amidst all kinds of suffering.

What was once a beautiful dream and reality has now become a nightmare. Starvation is one thing, but starving, freezing, and being forced to flee in the middle of the night when tanks suddenly arrive in your area, running for your life and your family’s life under fire, leaving behind everything you built over the years, and returning after 5 months of suffering in displacement and tents to find that your home, where you lived your happiest moments, is nothing but rubble, is something completely different! 💔😓

Can you feel my broken heart now? Can you imagine what I’m going through at this moment? Everything I am living now cannot be described with words, and every moment here is filled with pain and fear. We desperately need your help, as we live in hope of escaping Gaza to save our lives and live safely away from the explosions.

You might feel powerless to stop this genocide, but you can certainly save my family. We appeal to your compassionate hearts to help us escape this catastrophe, which the human mind cannot even fathom.

Please share our campaign with your family and friends. This will help us reach those who can help us directly. Be the reason to bring hope back to our hearts ♥️✨

gofundme.com

Donate to Donate to Save Hanan Al-Salout's Family in Gaza, organized by Gregory Lewin

I am an American, Greg Lewin in Minneapolis, who made contact with a… Gregory Lewin needs your support for Donate to Save Hanan Al-Salou

$9,887 USD raised of $30,000goal

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Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #152 )

Updated on 3/12

Dear Friends, 🌷

I know you share my story out of love and humanity, and I am truly grateful for that. 🙏💚

The painful truth is sharing alone does not feed the hungry or provide medicine for the sick.💔

Cost of a bag of flour is $300 which is the main source of food for my family and is needed weekly just to make bread. We live in a tent my child trembles from hunger and cold, and all I can do is pray. 😥

Please, don’t just watch or share. Even a small donation could be a lifeline for a hungry child or a suffering patient. 🙏

Don’t close your eyes to our suffering. We are calling upon your humanity.

The last donation 20 hours ago!! 😓

Thanks to your generous donations, we were able to buy some essential necessities that we couldn't do without, despite their high cost. A heartfelt thank you to everyone who contributed to feeding my child, even with a piece of bread 🙏💚. Your generosity gives us hope in facing these indescribable catastrophic circumstances 💔.

Our hope for survival comes from the generosity of your hearts. Your donations are the lifeline that keeps my family standing strong, They are our only source of income. Every contribution brings us closer to securing food and medicine for my family. Please, don’t leave us alone; your compassion is the light that dispels this darkness. ✨🫂

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

I knooooow I look like a teacher's pet I knoooooooooow I look like a brown-noser and a suckup but I can't help it I genuinely enjoy team building exercises and get-to-know-you games, I love going to work parties and solving riddles and learning about my coworkers it is enrichment for me