I Am Not Going To Simp For A Fanon Adaptation Of An Aspect Of Thomas Sander's Personality, I Am Not Going

Roman, starting Daydream Mode: Thomas may I please have full creative control? Pretty-please? I'll help you come up with the best idea ever! *flutters eyelashes*

Remus, starting Nightmare Mode: BEDTIME BITCH *knocks out Roman* ITS TIME TO MENTALLY SCAR THOMAS

'Daydream Mode' is when Roman has full creative control, right? So I'm just imagining like:

Remus, ranting to Janus: —as long as their beak fits through, the entire rest of them, because that's the only solid part, can squish through—

Remus: *suddenly collapses without warning*

Janus, flipping the page of his book unconcernedly: Someone must have turned on Daydream mode.

Logan, finishing ranting about how stupid it was: I wish I could give them a piece of my mind.

Remus: You were on the phone with them?

Logan: No, I was on the phone with their innocent secretary, who's just doing their job. I'm not gonna shoot the messenger. I'm gonna go to the corporate headquarters and shoot the CEO.

Remus: I have a gun.

Logan: What?

Remus: What?

Logan: ...That was a hyperbole. I'm not going to commit murder. It's eat the rich, not shoot the rich.

Remus: Haha yeah I know I'm joking

Logan: Remus why do you have a gun

Remus: I don't know what you mean—

Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!

Logan: *ends call*

Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—

Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.

Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?

Remus: No.

If anyone's wondering what they're eating—

Roman: Toaster waffles

Janus: He just unhinged his jaw (traumatizing Roman and Patton) and had a few whole raw eggs before leaving to not eat for a few weeks

Remus: Raw oats (just throwing back handfuls and sometimes not even chewing them, Patton is very concerned)

Patton: Cereal

Logan: Oatmeal (he offered to make Remus some out of politeness but he wasn't interested)

Virgil: Dry toast

(I feel it's important to emphasize that everyone is sitting at the table, even Remus, except Virgil, who is sitting on top of the fridge, munching on plain toast)

(Virgil's shooting Janus infuriatingly smug looks because whenever he tries to get on the fridge in the dark side, Janus swats him down with a broom, but he can't do that now haha take that Receipt)

Sides: *eating breakfast together*

School bus: *drives past*

Remus: *sees that it's empty*

Remus: This bus empty,

Remus, miming jerking a steering wheel to the side: SKEET

Remus: *continues eating breakfast*

Patton, the only one not used to this: ???

Janus’s light side name is Janan

Janus: Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home

Virgil: What are you banana bread?

Janus: Be very careful with what you say next.

Roman's Quest For Shaving Cream / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Roman Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Roman: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Remus, showering fully clothed: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Roman: Wh— You eat shaving cream?

Remus: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes?

Roman: Hey Pat, do you have shaving cream?

Patton, pink because he’s never going to be used to this: No. I can't grow facial hair.

Roman: ...True. I’m not sure why I asked.

Roman: Hey De— Janus—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Roman, regretting his life: Never mind snakes don't even have hair—

Roman: Hey, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, do you have any shaving cream?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Why on earth would I?

Roman: …

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream?

Logan: Yes. It does have a scent to it, however.

Roman: Oh, that's fine. Is it woody? Or musky?

Logan: It's honey-mango.

Roman: ...What?

Logan: They’re both very good for your skin, and happen to be fragrant.

Roman, after using Logan’s shaving cream: I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Thank you for creating the au and just being awesome! I'm so happy right now you just made my year :D

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

What do you call a fic that takes place on Dream’s smp server but everything is underwater?

Damp au

An Actual Logan Quote

(Virgil: All I'm saying is that you both suck at what you do and I'm tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.)

Logan: You what?! Do you have even the faintest idea how dangerous that is? I never even felt any heat! You're lucky that your acts of arson have seemingly settled themselves in the past, or you could have seriously hurt someone.

(This is seriously what he's saying when he and Roman are talking over each other—)

You've heard of Spiderman: Homecoming, Spiderman: Far From Home, and Spiderman: No Way Home, but may I introduce you to:

Spiderman: Please Just Let Me Go Home

A movie in which Peter Parker keeps finding himself with task after task after chore after chore after errand after errand to do while he keeps trying to escape and go home so he can watch tv in his pajamas