Dude Even Had The Audacity To Say “you’re Slipping” When Will Only Cut One Of The Three Stings

what you need to understand about recommending a show to me is that no matter how much we both know I'll like it, I can't watch it until the Neurodivergence Department in my brain approves it. I don't know when that will be, and I don't have any more control over it than you do.

Oh no, not a link where you can watch the entirety of What’s New Scooby Doo! Who on earth would post something like this???

And one for 46 different Scooby Doo movies including the beloved live action one from 2002 and it’s sequel, Monsters Unleashed??? For shame of me!

Fine, but first...

Something flickered in Jaskier's eyes; the journey of a decision, start to finish, and then the bard huffed a breath, shoulders slumping.

"Fine. But first," he uttered, almost thoughtful, turning away.

He spun quick enough that all he had time to register was the flash of surprise on Geralt's face before he punched him, knuckles meeting his jaw in a move that undoubtedly hurt the musician more than the Witcher.

"Cock, bollocks and a Witcher's cunt!" the bard yelped, shaking out his hand. His captors hadn't even removed his rings and he was certain they were embedded forever on his fingers.

Geralt blinked slowly, one hand coming up lethargically.

"I'm not sure what I'm more surprised by," Geralt murmured, touching a fingertip to the blood dripping from his nose. "The fact that you just punched me, or that it was a decent hit.”

Jaskier stayed sullenly silent, clutching his hand to his chest with a scowl.

"Let me check your hand," Geralt sighed, reaching for him.

"Don't fucking touch me, you utter horse's arse!" Jaskier shrieked, slapping his hand away.

"Jaskier–"

"Don't Jaskier me!" the bard refuted again, and Geralt raised a brow, grinding his teeth.

"Julian, then?" he growled. "Sandpiper, perhaps? What should I call you if not your name?"

Jaskier fell silent, staring wild-eyed at him. "I'm not–"

"Stupid and kind hearted enough to take on Nilfgaard's purges?" Geralt challenged, voice soft. "It's exactly the sort of thing the Jaskier I know would do."

"You don't know me," Jaskier laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "What's my favorite color, Geralt? What flower am I allergic to, hm? What did I study at Oxenfurt, even? When's my birthday?"

"Blue. You're not allergic to any flowers; you ate dog’s bane, which is poisonous to everything. You studied historical poetry and the art of lyrical literature in your first year, song-smithing and composing in your second and the lute for three, alongside several other string instruments, but the lute is your favorite.

Your birthday is Belleteyn, and you tell everyone it gives you magical fucking skills, even though that's horseshit. You hate ginger root and some prick called Valdo Marx and being cold and the first song you ever wrote was called Dixie's Dandy Dally."

He'd started off angry, mettle meeting mettle, but by the time he was done his voice was level, almost fearful, chest heaving for breath as he met Jaskier’s stunned gaze.

"You talk. A lot," he ground out evenly. "So much I sometimes imagine cutting out your tongue. But when you talk; I listen. I've listened to you for over twenty years, Jaskier."

“You didn’t know me enough not to send me away,” Jaskier whispered, gaze falling. “You didn’t care enough.”

“I cared too much. And I destroy the things I care about,” Geralt answered. He reached out slowly, palm open; invitation. “If you’d let me, I’d like to try and fix what I’ve broken.”

Silent deliberation. After a moment, Jaskier heaved a forceful exhale and raised his bruising hand.

“Perhaps you’d like to start with my knuckles, then?”

Sunflower

OC Elizabeth Swan || Angst || Fluff || Mentions of Suicide

Chapter 1: Coming Home

Chapter 2: Open Wound

Chapter 3: Collide

Chapter 4: The End

Chapter 5: The Beginning

Chapter 6: coming soon

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Okay so I've been rereading a lot of Twilight fanfictions and I was just thinking of an AU so, here's my take on an AU!

A grunge/goth/punk Bella Swan comes waltzing onto Forks High School after getting off her motorcycle/or just a sick car (i’ll be honest here?? I don’t know motorcycles or cars, pfft. so let’s leave that up to your imagination) and everyone is like: “Ayo?? Cool girl?”

The Cullens hadn’t seen her yet so they’re just hearing about “The Chief’s daughter is pretty fire dudes” over and over again, and Jasper is buzzing with excitement from the school’s emotions, Alice and Emmett are curious but the little pixie vampire is more on Swan’s fashion sense while Emmett is just like “hm.. cooler than me?” Rosalie however is annoyed from hearing the same thing about a dumb human and Edward is getting a headache as well as a vampire can get.

(I completely forget how the films/books go so I think it’s lunch then biology? Oh well) So here comes Lunch where Bella is invited to Human Gang’s table and here comes Bella in all her glory, decked out with those black thick heel knee high boots with the buckles going up and down, you know what I mean? Her pants are the baggy kind, but not too baggy, of course they’re black too why not right? They’re sporting all sorts of chains and suspenders that are just hanging down on the sides. The pants are also kind of ripped and beneath those pants are fishnets? Maybe? Just an idea. Finally her shirt has some sort of red and black theme going on, but I’m imagining it’s either a band merch or those short sleeved red and black stripes. Her hair is probably going to remain brown too, but I could picture this Bella dyeing it some other color.

Eric (I think he was the one who invited her to the table?? Or was it one of the other people? Let’s just go with Eric this time lol) is like waving at her excitedly and she goes to sit with them and starts up conversation and this is where we start to know other things about this AU Bella:

IMO, this Bella likes to go by Swan or the scientific name Cygnus, which the others find weird but hey they’re weird too in their respective ways.

Swan doesn’t call Charlie, well, Charlie. She calls him dad, or father because this time around she kept in contact with Charlie throughout the years.

Swan has a backbone!!

Maybe she carries around a butterfly knife who knows.. (she totally does and she can do cool tricks with it.. maybe she has a collection?)

Swan is witty and can quip easily, she isn’t afraid to be affectionate. And yeah, while it’s cool to be a person with absolutely no flaws, she has them!! Swan can be pretty brutal without knowing and can become quick to anger. She isn’t really used to apologizing to others that’s not her mom (yeah we probably can agree that Renée cares about her daughter to some extent, but she probably also does some real crappy stuff that often leads Swan into apologizing to her instead of the other way around. Or something like that- maybe y’all understand what I’m saying?? pfft). Some other flaws too, use your imagination for those! You guys probably can come up with cooler stuff.

Charlie is supportive of his daughter of course he is and this Charlie does not let Swan do all of the household work!!

Charlie probably doesn’t know how to cook very well so Swan helps teach him to cook better (due to her mother probably using her as a doormat) and they take turns cooking. They also take turns buying groceries as well. (Let’s also point out in the book where Charlie congratulates Jacob for kissing Bella? Yeah if that happened this Charlie does not happen! He’ll get angry! And curse out Jacob!)

Anyways cue the Cullens walking in. Rosalie and Emmett walk in first, followed by Alice and Jasper, then Edward and out loud (at least just for Human Gang, we already know the vampires are going to hear this) Swan just goes, “Hey they look kind of weird- clothing wise. Why do they look so.. Fancy?” With a raised brow. [ Lauren responds with a snort, “you don’t look better yourself.” ] And then cues Jessica’s rant on the Cullens and introductions about them.

Edward is stiff as a board and is keeping his gaze on the table. “I can’t hear the new girl,” he told the mated couples, “and oh- her blood is stronger than the rest of them.” With a low groan he had his head in his hands. Before any of them could question him Alice had ushered him out of the Cafeteria before taking a seat with Jasper. It’s silent for a moment before she chirps up with: “Well, it seems like we’ll have a different school year!” With a bright grin.

Alice probably is admiring Swan’s style.

Jasper doesn't really have an opinion yet.

Rosalie and Emmett are getting amused by Swan’s constant teasing on Jessica’s crush on Edward (which also includes her insulting Edward [ “Dude! Look how he sat down?? He placed two fingers- from each hand mind you- on the table and then sat down. You like that? Who does that? He’s playing with a baby carrot too!” ] ).

Some other things is that Swan is probably chill with Jacob and pack (once figured out of course) and has a sibling like relationship, or just real good friends.

I've seen a lot of PJO/SOA headcannons that Nico and Will are the reincarnations of Achilles and Patroclus. I've even seen fics about Chiron telling Nico and Will about training Patroclus and Achilles.

Hot take: Gay Dads Patrochilles who aggressively ship Solangelo

Nico has known Achilles in canon ever since the whole "swim in the Styx Percy it's totally safe" thing. And we know he spends a lot of time wandering around the safer parts of the Underworld - that's how he found Hazel.

Imagine he's visiting Elysium, catching up with old friends, and he runs into the legends themselves.

Achilles is moderately indifferent about it - at most Nico's that annoying kid who dragged him away from his eternity with Pat to ask about his mom (awkward). But Patroclus takes one look at this depressed boi and says "is anyone going to parent this sad gay child?" "Pat, that's Hades' son." "Not anymore."

And because it's Patroclus, he goes out of his way to get Nico to warm up to them. He makes point to talk to him and give advice and is genuinely glad to see him in a way that Nico never got at camp wasn't used to.

Achilles isn't surprised because Patroclus always had a thing for strays. The girls he rescued during the war, the dogs he snuck snacks to beneath the dinner table, even the younger demigods hanging around Elysium. Still, he pouts whenever bae pays attention to anyone other than him

"-we never got to have children Achilles, this could be our chance-"

Achilles melts

Admittedly Achilles has a lot in common with Nico. Both demigod princes burdened by prophecy, who often felt isolated from others due to their parentage. It's no wonder Pat likes him. And Achilles finds himself relating to this boy more than he expected.

Nico has no idea that he's been adopted. He's just more comfortable around the dead, that's all. That's why Pat is so easy to talk to and Achilles has warmed up to him - he's the King of Ghosts it's definitely some latent son of Hades ability that makes them like him.

They're actually part of what makes him consider leaving camp for the Underworld permanently. He never said it out loud, but the easy acceptance and care they offered was everything he'd been craving.

It makes the choice easy - until Will finds out and flips his shit.

"Will? Who's Will?"

Nico flushes and mutters something about Apollo and war paint and satyr babies before melting into shadows. Achilles turns to Pat with amusement "he takes after you philtatos."

The more they hear about 'Will' the more excited Pat is. He's a healer - he's making Nico eat healthier - he nags him about hiding injuries - he makes Nico smile. Every point seems to check a box in his favor.

Achilles is hesitant - even if Apollo reunited him with his love, he did so by killing him. And if anything hurt Nico, Pat would be devastated and furious ("-like you wouldn't be too Achilles just admit you like him-"). Nico tells him about Will's supersonic whistle and he's reluctantly impressed. Still, he's reluctant to grant blessings.

Achilles insists that Nico needs to bring Will to them to "judge his suitability as a therapon"

Pat smacks his head and reminds him that "-we're dead Achilles, he'd have to die to meet us-"

"-all the better to prove his devotion-"

"Achilles!"

Eventually Will does meet them, either because Nico escorted him to the Underworld or Nico summoned their spirits. Once meeting him, Achilles has a total change of heart. It's hard not to like the kid when he and Patroclus immediately start rambling on enthusiastically about different medical techniques and how Chiron's lessons have changed in the past few thousand years.

Achilles watches fondly as Pat beams at the sun child, who's gesturing wildly while explaining something called 'neurology'. There isn't much use for healing in the Underworld so his love rarely gets to indulge his passion like this.

A glance at Nico shows an equally soft expression on young prince's face and he thinks "alright this could work"

The deceased lovers immediately began ploting some way to bring the two together. Obviously they're limited as they can't leave the Underworld, but Nico visits so often that its easy to slip in some subtle hints - and even outright statements (Achilles' brand of subtlety isn't very subtle) - that they would be good together.

Nico is well aware of what they're up to and is both embarrassed and pleased by the support. This doesn't effect his relationship with Will much except giving him a much needed confidence boost that ended with him, pink faced but steady, asking Will to see the fireworks with him.

Nico's next visit to Elysium was announced as he tripped and stumbled out of the shadows, rushing up to a stunned Achilles to beg him for advice

"-and he said yes and I have no idea what to do-"

"You're asking me? I'm a warrior, not a charmer young prince"

"Yeah, but you still charmed Patroclus somehow so you must have done something-"

Achilles looks frantically at Pat for help, but his love is bent over in hysterics, struggling for air he no longer needs

... happily ever after?

This was longer than I thought it would be. So many people fanboy about Patrochilles, I just love the idea that they fanboy about someone else for once. And Nico needs a pair of supportive gay dads

Edit:

Nico: I can't believe I was adopted by Achilles and his boy toy

Zagreus: First time?

Nico: ... ????

Zagreus: Also, I'm pretty sure Achilles is the boy toy

(Nico also deserves a bamf poly/pan big brother)(and look Achilles has one in storage)(he enjoys cuddling with his various lovers)(long walks through the Fields of Asphodel)(and kicking the ass of the king of Athens)

𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝑷𝒊𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒘🌒

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Im just obsessed with this one

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imagine s3 geralt getting his ass kicked then he gets knocked out and he wakes up to the people who just kicked his ass fighting someone else (there are at least six of them)

and theyre at a distance and his vision is still blurred so he cant see much, he just sees blood flying and hears grunts and cries of pain and cant exactly tell whos winning

then he sits up right when its down to two people and he can finally see when one of those people stabs the other in the neck with a dagger and

its jaskier.

jaskier.

and jaskier rushes over to him and the man barely has blood on him, as if he'd ever let his expensive clothes get permanently stained, and starts untying geralt and asking if hes okay and geralts looking all bewildered and jaskier notices and hes like

"what? did you think i wouldn't benefit from all those training sessions you forced me through?" jaskier asks, completely nonchalant, barely out of breath like he didn't just take down half a dozen men. "thank you for that by the way, really came in handy"

and geralt realizes in that moment

his best friend is insane