Jango wanted a son. Only one- but then the sith got and used his dna samples to make a clone army
Jango was out for a couple days as the sith did this (carbonite, kidnapping, etc)
Then the jedi arrive on kamino, and free jango and the clones
Some of the clones want to be with the jedi but jango is like “my children”
But plo and shaak want clone children, because they are jedi space parents
Custody battle/total chaos ensues
The clones don’t know who to choose, they love them both
The clone wars is just a giant custody battle for the GAR
here’s the breakdown: sudden father of clones vs the jedi, vs the clones who want the jedi, vs the clones who want jango, it’s a BIG court case
And we didn’t discuss this in the server BUT you can bet the holonet is freaking out over it, and everyone is taking sides (it’s like star wars judge judy mixed with KUWTK, mixed with any other dramatic reality tv show, much drama)
Mr sheev palpatine is very pissed™, since he wanted the clones to be his secret weapon but now they’re just the children of the jedi?? What is happening to his perfect sithly plan?? Now they’re going to find the control chips!!
What ends up happening is the jedi and jango become the divorced parents who low key hate each other.
They get split time with the clones - like every other week they switch or something like that.
But then. Oh but then. Jango, who is a mandalorian (mandalorians are weak for hot people who can fight) sees the jedi fighting. He is gone.
Jango.exe has stopped working. The clones are like “um, buir? Are you okay?” he can’t even answer.
Since when can jedi do that (he saw them doing ataru and that was what pushed him over the edge)
The clones are like “dad”. Jango just… *squeak*. The clones, realizing what’s happening - “Oh he’s seen Master Mom-Ti”. *higher squeak*. Jango has a breakdown while the clones are laughing and watching all the moves the jedi are pulling
Jango is the “count me in as scared and horny” meme except he has so much confidence, that as soon as the jedi are done fighting he goes over and kisses kit fisto (who is a total DILF, btw)
Jango decides, of course, the only rational response to this is to marry the jedi. Like all the jedi. Immediately.
But then when the other mandalorians find out, they want jedi too.
Jango shows up to the mando reunion with like 50 jedi on his arm and the mandalorians are like “um excuse me wtf”
Cue mando civil war
The galaxy, who has been entertained by the custody court case, is shocked! Surprised! Confused! Even betrayed! They’re like “wait we thought you hated them? What do mandalorians know about the jedi that we don’t?”
Galaxy vs. mandalorians over jedi marriage
Mandalorians are united against the galaxy, but it’s everyone for themselves when it’s just them fighting over getting a jedi
Did you think the jedi would stop everyone fighting over their hand in marriage? Hell no. they are having way too much fun watching the galaxy fight over them. They are little shits and they’re just gonna sit back and watch for once
Shaak Ti, in particular, has many mandalorian spouses
Jango ends up claiming aayla for his son bly and he has many long arguments with the one and only quinlan vos over whether or not their children are worthy of each other
Quinlan has the “if you hurt my daughter, so help me” talk with bly, and aayla and jango are standing in the corner, glaring at quinlan (who may or may not be half drunk)
Bly is terrified of quinlan vos, because even if he’s half drunk, that man can be intimidating when he wants to be (quinlan is overprotective in some areas, loose in others. He is in multiple relationships. but he’s also a hardass when it comes to aayla, that’s for damn sure)
Yoda is officiating all the weddings, because space troll grandpa is finally having so much fun and he’s taking it all the way
“MARRIED YOU ARE BECAUSE SAY SO I DO”
Zero room for arguments. If you think they’re doing the “if you object to this union speak now or forever hold your piece” thing, you are mistaken. Nobody is arguing with this marriage if yoda’s officiating. If you try to object, he will 100% whack your shins with his stick until you have many bruises.
Jedi (over)share everything with each other, because they can feel everything, so why is anakin hiding his marriage anymore (especially after all this mandalorian drama)
Answer: he’s not hiding. Our favorite walking disaster reveals his marriage, which everyone probably already knew about (anakin has zero subtlety, you know it, i know it, the entire galaxy knows it)
Padme and anakin renew their vows, and of course, yoda is at the altar (his entire speech about why they’re gathered there today is FILLED with passive aggressive comments about not being invited to their wedding in the first place)
“Gathered here, we are, to renew young skywalker and senator amidala’s vows. Big event this is, yes, as see their original ceremony, we did not. Nice, it must have been. Know, I wouldn’t” *whacks anakin in the shin*
They end up discovering the control chips. The jedi, jango, and all the mandalorian spouses/trophy wives GO AFTER palpatine. He is very, very dead.
Tal vez enamorarme de ti no fue la mejor elección, a este paso me dejaras hecha pedazos, me matas de amor lentamente. Me haces desangrar, haces que mi corazón muera a cada minuto que pasa.
-Lune Sainte -
my favorite fics theme of the years 2018-2020
Irondad & Spiderson Rec List Pt. 5
Part 1 here
Part 2 here
Part 3 here
Part 4 here
Rec Masterlist here
*NO STARKER*
The Disappearance of Peter Parker by Milstrim - Peter regretted it, not paying more attention to his Spidey Sense, because now he was sitting in a freezing cell, not knowing if his aunt was alive or dead, if anyone was coming for him, and every inch of him hurting.
don’t help them to bury the light by silentsaebyeok - After a few minutes, voice small and shaking, Peter broke the silence. “May, I think I’m going crazy.”
I wouldn't drink that if I were you, kid by Lequia - In which Peter Parker feels abandoned, Tony Stark manages to screw things up even more, and DUM-E may or may not have found another fire extinguisher.
i. you are my sunshine by peterstank - the one where tony finds out he’s going to have a kid and he thinks maybe, just maybe, he could try giving the whole ‘dad’ thing a go.
That soft, gentle buzzing by kuragay - Soulmates aren't predetermined. Instead, they're created when you get close enough to someone, in the form of an empathy bond. Peter has bonds with Ned, with May, and with Tony. Three people who take up his soul, and he would die for each and every one of them. He used to have a bond with Ben.
hold tight, sweetheart (you'll find a rainbow) by neon_air - Peter has never liked violence. Especially when it lives inside him.
the hearth by sagemb - What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark. 1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you
the stars the moon they have all been blown out (you left me in the dark) by madasthesea - It starts off with his vision fading in and out. What kind of demon drug can make someone go blind by inhaling a single lungful? Whatever it is, Tony doubts it’s reversible. And while Peter’s no idiot, he can be idiotically optimistic. He's determined to fix what appears to be unfixable.
will you be there to catch me when i fall? (don't let me be alone) by rad_sad - The blood on his forehead is cold now, sticky and in his hair, his eyebrows and drooling down the side of his face. Aunt May isn't picking up and Peter is falling apart. So, he calls the only person he has left. He calls Mr. Stark
acolyte by macabre - Peter looks down at his hands. The two regenerated fingers aren’t the same color as the others - they stick out, even at just a glance. “I wasn’t always like this.” “No, you weren’t, but you work all the same.” Tony folds the kid into his arms, slowly, so he can break away if he needs.
porcelain by macabre - She constantly calls Tony a child of excess and Peter a child of absence. It makes Tony cringe every time. “He’s not used to having all of these things, and the things that he was offered in previous foster situations came at a price. You know this. Just be careful.”
New Dream by writerllofllworlds - “You ever tried to escape?”
for us, child, the stars refuse to shine by MotherKarizma - When the Avengers stumble upon Peter Parker, he is not a fifteen-year-old, bubbly, nerdy high school student. He is eighteen, homeless, and a drug addict. Peter refuses to let them discover the squalor he lives in when the mask is off, refuses to ruin their perfect little makeshift family with all his dirt, refuses to get too close. Unfortunately, he doesn't really have a choice.
The Strongest Wills by forensicleaf - The battle is raging all around him. People are screaming. Dying. Peter can stop it. He can stop it right now
The Stories On My Skin by orphan_account - “Yeah well I didn’t realise that you fucking cared so much!” The word’s erupted from Peter’s throat before he could catch them, the teens repressed temper finally snapping in half. Tony’s entire body froze, pure shock knocking the already heaving breathes of sharp air from his lungs. Peter had never spoken to him like that. Hell, he imagined the boy never spoke to anyone like that.
Shattered on the Ground by ironxprince - Due to excessive drinking, Tony begins losing his memory. He slowly forgets about Peter.
Making a mamianqun (馬面裙; lit. horse face skirt). Mamianqun can be traced back to the Song Dynasty and was in vogue from the Ming and Qing Dynasties until the Republican era. The skirt consists of two overlapping sections of fabric sewn together, each with a pleated section and skirt panels on either side. The skirt panels are overlapped to create the front and back of the skirt. This design allowed greater freedom of movement.
A note: Mamianqun are women's wear, but with the hanfu revival movement, men nowadays wear it too.
[eng by me]
“Esto no va a ser fácil, eh, hay mucha gente que todavía no está lista para nosotros, para Aristemo.”
“No, no, no, a ver, pues qué chido que no lo estén, porque así tú y yo vamos a poder callarlos a todos, es más, yo me voy a encargar de mi felicidad, la que nos toca en este mundo. Quédate a mi lado, no importa que los demás se asusten o tengan miedo, antes que nada, tú y yo somos Aristemo, los mejores de todos y juntos vamos a cambiar un poquito el mundo.”
“Sí, pintado de colores”.
I have feelings for this!!
MCU siblings.
Es tan bello
THANK YOU CHRIS PRATT FOR GIVING US THIS VIDEO!
-Lune Sainte-
SHE / Multifandom / Multishipper / Fanficter en crisis / Mexican girl
165 posts