Eddie Slutson And Steve Whoreington

heye every one.

secret husbands au — master post!

since… that’s a thing I need now, apparently! :D

this is a collection of all of the important bits of the au! scar and grian knew one another pre-hermitcraft! they were married long before scar joined back in season 4. none of the hermits actually know they’re married because they’re oblivious. and they think scar and grian have been pining after each other for years. so they decide to get them together!

there is hermitshipping involved (obviously) so if that’s not your thing, this au isn’t for you!

also this au is like 95% fluff and 5% angst. sorry angst lovers, the fluff enjoyers get well fed with this one

caution: things might get a little suggestive, but that’s it. no real warnings for this au!

- main tag: #secret husbands au

fics/drabbles.

scarian’s first meeting / the cuddle curse / avalanche / scarian’s reunion / scar's birthday / scar proposing /

arts.

secret husbands ; by @nothavinganygoodtimes / drabble ; by @hermitcraft-my-beloved /

hypixel era.

scar backstory / how grian and scar met / rough timeline / the roommate offer / scar job hunt / jellie / scar's nightmare / scar baking cookies / dating? / grian being sick / the proposal: one ; two ; / scarian cooking (or... trying to) / grian goodtimes: one ; two / scar twig to hunk / scar and food / scar being touch starved / from tcd to hypixel /

hermit s4 - evo.

scar joining hermitcraft: one ; two ; / hermits knowing g went missing / scar and grian's sweater / grian losing his wedding ring: one ; two / grian showing scar his watcher form / scar becoming vex / cub and scar / grian not looking for scar /

hermitcraft.

grian joining hermitcraft / closure from evo / grian's reaction to scar vex / bdubs starts it / season 6 thoughts: one ; two ; / season 7 thoughts: one ; two ; / season 8 thoughts: one ; / season 9 thoughts: one ; / season 10 thoughts: one ; / sweater and blanket: one ; two / king ren arc: one ; / mycelium resistance/mayor stuff: one ; two ; three ; four / grian and food / grian and sensory overload /

life series.

potential life series / differences in third life /

lore asks.

how they show affection / the betting pool / vow renewals / martyn voice: scar is tricking a married man! / why no one realizes in s6 / empires knowing / scar and grian's bets / nightmares: one ; two ; / grian playing with scar's hair / grian and nests / "avian" grian: one ; two ; three ; four ; / mcc / vex lore / watcher lore / scar doing art / eating habits / wearing each others clothes / scarian getting their suits / old suits for renewal / scar's bday /

misc.

the initial post / third life thoughts / "why didn't you tell me we were dating?" / who knows vs who doesn't / "I sure hope he does" / secret husbands syndrome / scarian's marriage / "scar loves you" /

This is my drawing I did myself of Beverly from "It" sorry for the bad handwriting ;)

I'm like 80% sure I'm all of the above (questioning my sexuality but pretty sure I'm bi)

reblog if you are BISEXUAL, SUPPORT BISEXUAL PEOPLE, or REALLY HATE DONALD TRUMP

richie, on stage: so i know you guys are here to listen to my mediocre stand-up routine, but i think i've told enough shitty jokes for now that i can move on to something that's definitely gonna be way funnier

richie: [now pulling out his phone] you know those videos where celebrities read mean tweets? and the ones where they read thirst tweets? well, i'm gonna do both of those for you tonight, only they're just tweets from my husband's "secret" twitter account that he thinks i don't know about, like he actually knows how to work a computer after not using the internet for 20 years and understands how to clear search history, log out of an account, or open an incognito tab

richie: i forgive him for these tweets. reason being he made 50% of them wine drunk and 50% of them after i fucked him so good that he couldn't form proper sentences for 2 hours. i love you, eds-baby

richie, clearing his throat: "richie w. tozier-" i like the use of my middle initial. very formal. "-is the ugliest bitch i have ever seen. i hate how big and hairy he is and how pretty his eyes are. i hope he dies"

richie: "if you think richie tozier is funny you have major brain damage. i do too but mine is sexy"

richie: "sometimes richie grabs a glass from the top shelf and his arm looks big strong and i don't"

richie: that's the end of that tweet. there is no further elaboration than "i don't." not sure what he doesn't

richie: "i don't fucking get memes until i look them up. richie called me submissive and breedable and i had to call three friends until one explained it to me. tough talk for someone in dick-sucking distance. are you gonna dom and breed me then, bitch?? i'm fucking waiting. coward"

richie: i think the funniest part of these tweets is that eddie thinks people don't know this is him, like i don't only exclusively talk about how much i love my feral little twink of a husband. i'll read you guys one more as a send off

richie: "richie went all the way back to our shithole hometown to buy me my favorite ice cream for our anniversary. i love him and that's sweet, but apparently i never told him i genuinely hate this flavor of ice cream. i only ever ate it because i didn't have money to buy another flavor after he bought me this one and i thought it would be a waste to NOT lick it as suggestively as possible to try and give him a boner"

just found this and i am in love

people hating on joseph quinn for playing eddie munson just because he got the hype HE DESERVES are looking mad goofy rn, lets not talk about how people r randomly making fun of him. this is just unfair to actors tbh, they work their ass off and just because you happen to dislike the way FANS r acting you have to hate on them too?? ESPECIALLY when they have done nothing but do their job?? i dont wanna hear any "oh you're saying this because you love joseph" because this goes to every actor who got hate for no reason :/ its childish.

trying to prove a point to my parents

like if you think there are only 2 genders

reblog if you think there are more than 2 genders

Scoops!Eddie in uniform. I truly believe this man pushed the authority to the max.