Fading Life In The Middle Of The Sky.

Senryū IV

In the meadow field

love is outermost to call ,

distant in time's truce .

-t.f.s.

Come true//

I tell you I hate the indoors

And you cage me in a room

I say I crave the sky

But you only let me out at night

I tell you how much I hate rituals

And you tell me to follow each by heart

I don't like conventional

Yet you are anything but radical

Each thing you do

Is either dictated

Preplanned or decided for you

My free will dies, eachtime I look at you

I try to walk paths I think will run parallel to yours

We never intersect and somehow that never bothered you

I tell you I don't believe in destinies

Yet we are destined to be doomed

I thought I could fight depression

But the biggest weight holding me from living is you

I say I would like to add flowers to the garden

You say you're out of time

So precious time that only counts for you

None for my pursuits

I can only breath borrowed air

I can only wear forgotten bruises

You say you love me

I don't think it is true

Love doesn't mean to be conformed

To your likings

It doesn't mean to put everyone else's happiness except ourselves

It doesn't mean nothing changes in your life

And I have to sacrifice

Everything till my time is due

In this lie of love I wait

Patiently for my reel to end

Make the final appearance

Let the curtains fall

Once and for all

And this pretend play

Ends at a high note

They will say

Oh they loved eachother so

It's true

But that's a thing about

Pathological liars

They make you believe

In happy endings

That never came true

Notes to myself.

Killing the happiness

is like killing an animal

or nature that gives

hundred of lives.

My ideas are illusion

and illusion makes me company

after I lose my confidence.

Whatever I am, whoever I was

is the past that I've re-written.

There's a new flesh bleeding

In my cells in divine,

whatever needs to be finished,

my past will lay in pieces.

-t.f.s.

For another sad human without a realization.

Part of me will feel traced inside even when time stops onwards. And yet,cold skin,cold heart- it's just because you faded,it's irrelevant.

-t.f.s.

Something changes the way she moves,

the way her hair is shining,but her mind is dying,

her eyes are oceans,deep,crystal clear,

they're the stars in the sky that watch every night,every year

she's an angel,she's a living dream,

her heart can make you hotter than the sun,

her voice will never make you regret,her name's love.

-t.f.s.

Scary nights.

Fears enter my room

air blows my way,

odd scent comes,

dead men haunt

to capture me.

-t.f.s.

Source: apocalypse dream.

“Не говорех, мълчах, тогава ме забелязаха, когато изчезвах “

Night's Young.

Night changes in colors , quietness .

Walls beside you are sleeping.

Melody is a wind longing for rain ,

a stress relief that burns me

underneath self -consciousness .

Moon is waiting for flowers to sleep

just like a mother prepares its child

for a long awaited break .

Part of me would still be lost

In this dark quiet place

where I wish to stay hidden

away from everything ,

just like a magic trick .

If It was just me to ponder

and keep my feelings away

to be whoever I want to be

the world would never stay

along with me ,

under a moon of blessings

where the night goes on

and trees cherish moments ,

as flowers sleep peacefully ,

tender voices crack in silence

and doors creak inside ,

but night is friendly

and still so green

to be thrown away .

-t.f.s.

Senryū I

“Kukai”

I am air to feel ,

born to breathe in the sea ,

deep open ocean.

-t.f.s.

Omg yus

A,

I was walking in the hallway with a friend of mine, he used the be verb “a” and the word “love” in that particular order. I protested. And said, love is not “a”. It’s not a single thing, it’s not even a thing!  It’s an explosion of feelings, unending questions and a rush of everything in split seconds. I told him, and he retorted saying I am a linguist.  But no, it wasn’t about words, it was about feeling every sensation. But you know what is the best explanation of love? It is YOU. Your love is the heat of the Sun on my skin, the rust of coldness when you eat Ice Cream; the explosion of excitement when you jump off a cliff. You yourself is love.

- 1919