The Actual Meaning Of The Word Aplatonic

the actual meaning of the word aplatonic

I’ve seen a lot of hate recently on certain words used by the aromantic community to describe their experiences, so I feel that some clarification needs to be made.

The term aplatonic does not mean someone who doesn’t want friends. It does not mean someone who doesn’t have friends, or someone who is antisocial. It is not ‘uwu I don’t have any friends I’m so queeeeeer’. No, stop spreading that information. Aplatonic is simply a descriptor used by some aro people to explain that they do not experience squishes nor desire to be in qpps/qprs. (Squishes are essentially friend-crushes, it’s the aromantic equivalent of a crush, except there is not romantic attraction involved. QPRs or QPPs are queer/quasi platonic partnerships/relationships: essentially non-romantic domestic life partners)

Because of the confusing way these are often explained and because of the -platonic suffix, people unfamiliar with these terms automatically jump to “so friends?” Lemme stop you right there buddy. No, people in qpps are not 'just friends’. It is a term used to essentially describe non-romantic life partners. People in qps sometimes live together, get married, raise children together, etc. It is not 'just being best friends’. It is not trying to make friendships seem unimportant or secondary.

Many aro people do desire to be in long term relationships. They still do not experience romantic attraction (hence being aromantic). Many aro people experience squishes. However, many do not. In order to simplify this, the word aplatonic was created so that people who do not experience this can more accurately describe their experiences in the aro community with as few words as possible. There’s a lot of focus in the aro community on having qpp/qprs, so there was absolutely a necessity for this word. 

Aplatonic is a word also often used by neurodivergent aroaces who struggle with forming relationships of any kind with people, and tumblr’s quick jump to make fun of it is frankly kind of ableist.

That one post that was being spread around where the anon was asking if aplatonic people are LGBT+ was not someone asking if people who don’t want friends are LGBT+. Rather it was asking if an aroace person is in a domestic partnership with someone of the same gender as them, and they are considered LGBT+, shouldn’t all aromantic asexuals be considered LGBT+ as well because their attraction(s) are the same? (And yes, I know that in that case the partners would be seen as gay from society, even though they are aroace, but I digress) At least that was my interpretation of the ask.

The -platonic suffix is not meant to be used like the -romantic and -sexual suffixes used in the ace/aro split attraction model. The whole discourse honestly has confused a lot of people about what the split attraction model is and it’s really irking me. People gotta stop acting like 100% cis straight people are going to suddenly start identifying as aplatonic. It’s specifically an aro word to describe the ways in which aro people experience attraction. It is not an identity by itself, no one is claiming it to be. It is a descriptor of aromanticism. Anyway, people outside of the aro community need to stop policing aro words and stop taking the parts that make up a word at face value.