Krystami-blog - Krystami

Bulking out to get proportions down, this is a lot bigger than it probably looks.

I can finally start sculpting again, I think, I still need materials but I can do what I was working on before. Secondly, I wanna make a super special *something* I'm not sure yet, I just want it to be a scene, detailed, etc. But I'm not at the point I want to, it would take lots of planning, materials and tools. (As in I want to make it once I can afford an airbrush, molding kit, etc.) I might want advice on a good design, like I have an idea but no picture.

I want to eventually sculpt a robot, if I do it will be Gortys from Tales from the Borderlands.

I'm heartbroken...

I was lied to, I'm very upset... We found a place, small and actually allows pets with deposit fee... I was trying to find my cats a place, a loving home, or a no kill shelter, my dad let my cats outside without letting me know, they've never been out their whole lives and he expects them to live out there and/or get killed in a shelter... He said I could have my cat who was the "good" cat, but I was being punished for not going back to our old place today, I had no bus money, he said he'd find me a way, I have no phone to call to know what's going on... I have horrible anxiety to where I can't walk outside by myself.... So he said it's my own fault, making fun of me and saying I have legs, that I had time even though I was trying, he lied straight to my face. What makes this worse is I was crying (OF COARSE) and he started acting more hurtful, so I got pissed off and mentioned to one of his girlfriends (or friend as he puts it) that he has others he talks to...(I'm upset I did something bad but still...) he called the cops on me saying I needed an ambulance (implications when all I was was crying and trying to say this was all messed up and if he is going to lie to me and get rid of my only happiness, the only ones who made me feel my life was worth living FOR THEM...and then mock me and try to make be feel worse while knowing threatening me will make me panic...then I think it's okay to tell the truth to someone about one of the many lies he makes. He goes so far as to call the police on me to make ME seem crazy just to keep on with a lie... All the while my husband supporting him because, as he puts it..."it's to protect me" "to keep peace" oh and "it doesn't matter if what they do is bad, respect your elders" I give up on everything...

Social status: Claptrap~

second contest entry for Minxs current Cintiq contest. Virtues Last Reward, Minx/Sigma and I tried to put the rest of them in, something to like about each character to some extent which I find rare for me. I found myself to really enjoy the Zero Escape games. —- Once I am able to get on a computer I will edit this with the finished version (I uploaded the one I saved right before I finished, minor details but still glaring to me)

I feel so overwhelmed in many different ways right now ;-;  at that I was working on another sculpture but I think I made it way too big, it’s gonna use all my clay and I’m not sure it’s worth it, I mean, it will look good maybe but it’s just all my clay :( I even tried bulking it out as much as I can without it breaking but...idk

Messy work in progress, sudden inspiration came from nowhere. I have no clue where I'm going with this exactly but I haven't done something like this in awhile and need a more relaxed piece to work on. :D Cry and at least five sup guys hopefully. If I had to say anything, sitting on a cliff while the sun rises in some sorta place, looking over something possibly, like a town or idk.

Here are wips of a few things I’m working on, forgot to post.

Still making opal, just lack a drive due to personal reasons... But once I am able to I want to make other stuff, more detailed I guess, like practice with bodies I guess, it might help me with my drawings and what not, it just seems I can pump out sculptures more than I can drawings, so it’s kinda discouraging when I draw something for a long time I don’t get as much satisfaction as seeing something sitting in front of me. I love drawing, it just feels kinda pointless even though I think I finally found “my style” after all these years, it’s funny though, ever since I was kid I’ve always been involved/interested in the same things, drawing, minerals, outerspace and sculpting, I would rarely hang out with others. I’d always just draw and dig outside looking for pretty stones and stuff, a teacher handed me clay with a sculpting book on how to make beads and tiny food when I was in 5th grade, I enjoyed building things out of wood in middle school and then ceramics in HS, it’s funny in HS it got to the point pretty much any teacher would let me sculpt and draw in class, I miss school, I miss being able to feel “important” or like I meant something, that I had people to talk to about whatever, being able to actually step outside without having a panic attack (heck a bear running in front of me at 5am on my way to school didn’t even freak me out as bad as just speaking to someone now. I’ve regressed so badly, I want to be how I used to be, I want to be able just to walk to a park and sit outside, I want to try my hand at an anime con again and maybe even trying to get a table in AA, but....I don’t know what’s happened to me, all these hopes and dreams I’ve had are all just....so hard to comprehend anymore.