Emily

Found you

no u didn't

look at how perfect he lands

I've started answering your ask, but it'll take a couple days bc there's a lot of characters and a lot I need to say

I've also been thinking about doing an updated version with the rest of the songs, and correct my opinions on the first half of the songs. I might get to that next week or later this week? That's also a hefty task, but I'll try to get to it asap :)

What's your opinion on the hazbin hotel songs?

(I've heard a few and i think they're okay..)

I'm so glad you asked bc I have some OPINIONS

(I'm not gonna talk about the pilot, just the episodes)

I've watched the first four episodes and they're better than I expected, but my expectations were on the floor

The first song is "Happy Day in Hell" from "Overture." Although this song/plotpoint should have been WAY later in the series, I like it. It feels like "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow" from the pilot, however both songs are on my playlist. It's a good song that serves as a recap of the pilot, showing Charlie's personality, motives, and her relationship with Vaggie (a little). It's a nice song with little substance, and feels like a Disney Princess' "i dream of something more" song. 7/10

In the same episode, we get "Hell is forever" sung by Adam. THE Adam. The first man Adam. Charlie meets with the Angels (just Adam and Lute, a girlboss exterminator who I think is in love with Adam?) and discusses her plan to redeem sinners. Adam laughs her off, singing "Hell is Forever," trying to convince Charlie that sinners can't change. Adam is such a dickbag that it's hard to like any part of this scene. He is really disrespectful towards women, grossly sexual, swears more than most characters in the show, and talks about being the "original dick." It wasn't unbearable, but it's probably the most forgettable song so far. 2/10

Next is "Stayed Gone" from the episode "Radio Killed the Video Star." It feels like a rap battle. It's a competitive song between Alastor and Vox that takes place over the radio and on TV respectively. A basic rundown is that Vox is kind of horny and down bad for Alastor, won't admit it. Vox is really pissed that Alastor came back (he was gone for 7 years) and is basically going on TV to shit on him. However, before he left, Vox had asked Alastor to join the Vees, (an influential group of overlords with names that start with 'V'; it's giving middle school popular girls) and Alastor refused. Vox is mad that Alastor didn't join, which leads Alastor to drop the iconic line "I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea." This is probably one of my favorite songs in HH. It's catchy and unproblematic (which seems to be difficult for Viv). 8/10

"It starts with Sorry" is a song Charlie sings to Sir Pentious, telling him she'll accept him into the hotel if he owns up to his mistakes. It's an okay and forgettable song, but it's super ironic. A song about acknowledging you've hurt people, apologizing, and becoming a better person? In Vivienne fucking Medrano's show? Absolutely hilarious to listen to, if you go at it with a different perspective. Viv should take her own advice. 3/10

The episode "Scrambled Eggs" is based more around women (shocker, it wasn't written by Viv or Adam). The first song in this episode is "Respectless." It's sung by Velvette, one of the Vees, and Carmine Carmilla, an overlord. Velvette brings a decapitated angel head to an overlord meeting, and announces that angels CAN be killed, contrary to their previous belief. Velvette suggests they fight back against the angels and the exterminations, while Carmilla is adamant against it. The song's fine, but I especially love Velvette's lines. She has an English accent (Essex? I think?) and basically says "I'm not just a bitch. I'm THE bitch" and I love her for it. 5/10

Right after that, we find out that Carmilla killed the angel, which would have been shocking, but we only knew her for like, 5 minutes. The meeting's over, and it's just her and a few others. She says that she killed the angel to protect her daughters, and that going to war would endanger them again (basically "going to war endangers the people we started killing for"). She sings "Whatever it Takes" about protecting those she loves? I think, the song wasn't good enough to pay attention. This song's got a side-by-side with Vaggie, who's singing about wanting to protect Charlie. It's a sweet and nice song, but was just kinda mid. There's also a problem with Vaggie's singing, in which her voice is deep and monotonous, but her singing is light and high-pitched. 4/10

Oh boy. The next episode. "Masquerade." The first song is "Poison," sung by Angel Dust. It was released early, and got lots of hype and controversy. Similar to "Addict," it's a song where Angel talks about his struggles with addiction and his sexual abuse at the hands of his pimp, Valentino. Both of these songs are also on my playlist. It's catchy and fun to listen to, while also tackling deeper topics. Angel feels like his sexual abuse is his fault, and although he absolutely hates it, he feels like he has no choice but to stay. The song on its own? 9/10. Then the episode came out. The song shows Angel dancing and singing this song while graphic images flash behind him. Images of his rape and sexual assault. This episode had ZERO trigger warnings. The creators of this song were Viv and Raph (I can't find his last name right now). We can only speculate for Viv, but Raph 100% has a Rape kink. He ships Angel x Valentino, posts cosplay and art shipping them, publicly sexually harassed (asked for the nudes of?) a 15 year old, and essentially has admitted he finds rape and SA hot. He also lied about being an SA victim. Neither Viv nor Raph are SA victims. This song is just to fuel their rape kinks. Viv and Raph have yet to apologize for sexualizing SA, and have since doubled down on why this is "good representation." Truly disgusting, I have no choice but to say 0/10

"Loser, Baby" is similar to "Poison" in the sense that's it's fine until you REALLY think about it. In this song, Husk tells Angel that he used to be an overlord, but lost his power to Alastor. He says that he understands how Angel feels, since both their souls belong to overlords. The song is supposed to portray a "you're not alone, I understand what you're going through" message, but instead feels victim blame-y, with Husk kinda telling Angel that he should just try to ignore and move past it because everyone struggles. 6/10 song, 0/10 message

The songs were kinda disappointing, especially the last two. Fuck Vivienne Medrano

DESCENDANTS: The Rise of Red! (or the REAL hidden story in the movie + what’s gonna happen in the sequel THEORY!)

So we ALL watched the movie right? We ALL thought the plot sucked and the movie ended abruptly with a underwhelming climax?

WELL HERES WHY WERE WRONG!

So I did some really deep thinking, and I figured, these writers can’t be THAT stupid? The director can’t be THAT idiotic, lame, and boring? That would just embarrass Disney, not to mention all the well respected actors that are in this!

So I thought hard. I thought hard and I thought long. Like hella long. And I tallied up all the plot inconsistencies, all the weird explanations, all the very specific lines in songs, and I did it. I fixed descendants rise of red! I FIGURED IT OUT!

So!! Here it is! What TRULY happened that crowncoming night! And what going back in time actually did!

(I intentionally put a keep reading so if anyone wanted to avoid spoilers they can)

So! Now that we’re under the keep reading. Anything spoilerly can be said!

So first things first. The biggest theory everyone is saying.

ELLA DID IN FACT POISON BRIDGET!

Yes! I said it! We all thought the movie was leading to this! So it was underwhelming when it was revealed it was Uliana and her crew were the origins behind the prank.

OR WERE THEY?

We all saw that once they opened the book; they were frozen. Because they were ‘bad’ and Merlin’s security system was set into place.

And many of you came up with the giant plot hole that this would have happened REGARDLESS of whether Red and Chloe interfered.

AND YOUR RIGHT!

This sole reason, is why the group COULDNT have done it! Not only were they frozen, but they couldn’t read the recipe, and were properly sent to detention, ergo exonerating them from being at the dance! Meaning their was literally no way they could have been behind the prank!

So with them being withheld from the dance, who could it be? Who was the one person who was originally at the dance, but now no longer could be? What was the one actual change that Red and Chloe set off?

ELLA. AND THE VASE!

We all see that when the two go into Ella’s house, Chloe knocks over a Vase. Breaking it. Lady Tremaine GROUNDS Ella! Meaning that she COULD NOT go to the dance!

This DIDNT happen originally! Meaning Ella DID go to the dance in the original timeline! Which is proven when Cinderella (I’m calling Adult Ella, Cinderella) talks to The Red Queen (I’m calling Adult Bridget The Red Queen) about how the prank being pulled was wrong. She had first handed knowledge of the prank. AND she told Chloe she fell in love with Charming at the dance.

But! Since Ella is the only difference in the two timelines in regarding to the dance, this is PROOF that she was the one who actually pranked Bridget, NOT Uliana and her crew!

So here’s what I think happened!

Ella, who saw Bridget being bullied about the cupcakes, and saw Uliana take all the cupcakes. And promptly being threatened by Uliana. Decided to bake Bridget something to cheer her up. However Bridget literally has all of the cookbooks in auradon. As shown. So she snoops around and finds Merlin’s cookbook! (Because it’s also shown she’s okay with breaking the rules if it’s for a good cause. From her get our hands dirty song!) and double and, the book WOULD open for her because she is a good person. AND she was doing it for a good reason!

she flips through the book and finds some simple blase recipe that cheers Bridget up. Maybe gives her cool hair (Red hair??). Something simple but sweet.

However. While doing this, she happens to see the Monster food recipe. She doesn’t look at it for long of course. Just enough to remember it’s a thing.

BACK TO BRIDGET!

Now! I swear to whatever’s out there that the person who played Chloe said there was a queer character in Dedcendants 4. I can’t find it now but it was some tumblr or insta post. I know cause I immediately told my friend afterwards.

Anywho. I think Bridget is the queer character! We see in the movie her only friend was Ella. Not only that but she YEARNS for someone to care about enough to ask her out (in a romantic way like charming just tried to do for Ella) Ella, who again. Is Bridget’s only friend. And ergo, shows her love no one else does, IMMEDIATELY asks her to go to the dance with her! (Might have said as friends in the other timeline too. Who knows)

But! This only makes Bridget’s crush on Ella even BIGGER. And she falls in love with her! She probably thinks they might have a chance!

This is also somewhat proven by The Red Queens song ‘Love Ain’t It’

Title ; Love Ain’t It

Red : “With all the Grief you’ve experienced”

Red (Speaking of Cinderella) : So you Knew her?

The Red Queen : I saw through her. Cinderella and I were classmates in a way.

(Notice how she uses Ella’s mocking name after she has time to recover from the interaction. She said ELLA originally when she caught her off guard. Also. The line. I SAW THROUGH HER. It’s a double edged sword. Saw through her fronts. Saw the hurting girl inside. Saw through her LIES saw the mean girl behind)

Proven by the next lines

The red Queen : I spent way to much time in this place

So I had to escape

the people might smile

but their two faced, too fake.

Girl was relentlessly bullied and betrayed by someone she loved

And Ella Knows it.

Cinderella : Some people act mean at first, because their too afraid to feel

[the reverse is also true]

Cinderella : Look hon. Back in high school, a mean prank was played

And ever since that fateful day

She was never the same, it’s quite a shame.

So the Red Queen sings a whole song about how Love isn’t it. And we ALL KNOW that her only connection to love as a kid was through ELLA. meaning Bridget HAD A CRUSH on Ella. Was IN LOVE. With Ella.

So. How did Crowncoming originally happen you ask?

Here’s my theory

Ella and Bridget go to the dance. They are happy! They have fun. Bridget falls further in love with Ella. Meanwhile. Ella falls in love with Charming!

Her and Charming hit it off. And Ella starts to feel loved and appreciated for the first time in her life.

Then, Bridget performs her ‘Shuffle of Love’ dance. All the attention is on her! Even Charmings.

Ella feels robbed. She feels jealous. She feels angry that her friend is stealing the one good moment she is finally having to herself.

And so she briefly remembers the spell. And in a moment of error, she either A. Remembers the recipe already and makes the recipe. Or B. Re-Sneaks back into the office to see it. However I’m going with A because the book wouldn’t have opened again for Ella because of her bad intentions.

Whichever way. Bridget eats the baked treat. (I think it was a cupcake. Ella could have lied and said it was from the earlier batch)

And then. IT HAPPENS! Bridget is turned into an ugly terrifying monster. Everyone LAUGHS at her. Everyone makes fun of her

And Bridget, who is confused, understands only ONE person could have done this to her. She looks at someone she was in love with. And just sees Ella and Charming laughing. Laughing at her. Bonding over laughing at HER.

Bridget runs off. In tears. Broken inside. With an equally broken heart.

Maybe if Ella had immediately realized her error and run after her she would have turned out differently. But no. It is proven that Ella stayed at the dance and stayed with Charming. They wouldn’t have had the chance to fall in love if she left.

So Bridget. Spends the rest of the night terrified. Looking like a monster. And being laughed and screamed and made fun of everywhere she goes. And not only that. But her ONLY FRIEND. Her CRUSH. Someone she TRUSTED did this to her

Now THIS! THIS is something can break a person. This is something that can change their views on the world. On humanity itself. She was a kind girl. Was kind to everyone no matter how meanly they treated her. But through it all, Ella was her rock. Her friend. Her secret love. Someone who was good and kind through it all.

But she betrayed her. Tbe one nice person betrayed her. Showing that being nice doesn’t do it. Being nice does not mean good things happen. Being nice doesn’t is worthless if this is what it gets you. Everyone is two faced. And the only thing that’s real. The only thing she CAN feel. Is hurt. And pain. And fear. And so that’s what she swears to become. That’s what she swears to do. Be mean and cruel and heartless so she never has to feel all this pain ever again. So her eventual DAUGHTER never has to feel this again. It’s better to be alone and feared. Then alone and broken.

Ella probably realized the error of her ways the next day. But as she said. It was too late. Bridget was never the same.

This Explains why they had so many odd interactions. The raw feral burning chemistry between them. All the odd phrase. Why The Red Queen would be okay sending her BEST FRIEND to death. Why she would be okay killing her. And taking over auradon. To Her? Cinderella is the one who made her this way.

but also part of her still remembers. Still cares. It’s why she gave her once chance to kneel to her. (And as we’ve noted in the books and movies. She doesn’t give ANYONE else a second chance. She punishes I’m immediately and harshly)

And so! With all of this happening. Theirs gonna be some catylist in recent times. The Red Queen might be nice now. But something will have changed. Ella never went to the dance. (She clearly fell in love with charming somewhere else cause otherwise Chloe would have disappeared) but something happened when she wasn’t at the dance. Something that caused another problem. And THATS gonna be the sequel to this movie. Descendants : Rise of Red part two.

(as we’ve seen the official script for the movie is literally called Descendants : Rise of Red part one. MEANING they wrote it with the purpose of being part one to either a sequel or a threequal)

And THAT! Ladies and Gentleman, is what I think the REAL plot behind Descendants : Rise of Red is! A movie that is not idiotically not thought out at all, but really something so secretly genuis is blows your mind!

Hope you enjoyed!

10 Years of Celery Night Fever <3

kade

KADE

THEY FOUND THE CARROT CARDS

I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE

WHAT DO I SAY IF THEY ASK WHY I HAVE THEM?! "cool Disney cards"?!?!?!

just say like "they looked cool" or "I wanted to learn some card tricks" or something?? idkkk are they are your dad's or g&g's?

Sonia I told mars about this and said "I immediately knew we were both thinking about the beans" and she fucking said "chili no beans" and nothing else 😭

pls reblog for sample size etc

follow for more occasional useless polls :)

Helluva Boss Hitmen

I've had a recent realization about Stella and Striker

I am 100% a Stella defender. She's flawed, but she deserves better than having Stolas in her life. But whenever I defend her, people always bring up the time she hired Striker to kill Stolas.

I have thoughts about this. First off, it's Hell, and hiring an assassin to kill your cheating, bitchy husband seems pretty standard. But why is hiring an assassin seen as a bad thing? And why is Striker even a villain? Striker is a hitman and an assassin, and that's seen as horrible and immoral. However, our main fucking characters are also hitmen. (Hitmen, NOT assassins, I see so many people confusing the two 😭) Why is it evil for Striker to be a hitman and assassin? Why is it evil for Stella to hire this hitman/assassin? And why is it NOT evil for the main characters to literally be hitmen? Why is it bad when Striker does it, but not when Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie do it? And why is it evil for Stella to hire an assassin, when our main characters' careers and incomes rely on people like her hiring assassins and hitmen?

This also just shows a larger issue in the Vivziepop fandom, which is "It's bad for others but not for the main characters." Things are shown as being evil and immoral (murder, abuse, assassinations, SA, etc.) SOMETIMES, but when it's supposed to be comical, or when it's done by a main character, suddenly it's fine