Crimes.

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child me was a demon.

fair warning: this might get me on a list or something.

because, like, at age 3-6 or around there, I understood emotional manipulation and revenge but not empathy or boundaries.

occurrence #1: before I realized it was absolutely NOT okay, I tried to poison a cat as revenge, but it didn’t work, luckily. I had been playing with my cat the day before and she scratched underneath my eye. I regarded (and still do, but less violently) cats as my equals. so I responded to the unexpected attack by pretending everything was fine and then striking when she least expected it. I hated my bangs, and I reasoned that if cats cough up hairballs, they’re probably allergic to it and I betted human hair is stronger since it’s not their own. so I chopped off my own bangs with scissors and put it in her cat food bowl, then watched with wicked glee as she munched away. she was fine then, and she’s fine now. Also, this memory (over a decade later) is only as strong as my rage about her having the AUDACITY to attack ME, the princess of the whole kingdom: very very strong. I’m pretty sure I brought her back to life anyway a few days later for the plot and because she’s adorable.

occurrence #2: my family and I were at a pizza restaurant and the waiter brought a pizza that was covered in bacon bits. I famously said “I can’t eat this pizza. It has bacon bits over all over it.” because I’m a very picky eater and I stuttered a lot. But the funniest part about this is not what I said:—it’s how I said it. According to video evidence on my older sister’s snapchat account, I got “increasingly sadder” as I continued speaking. I wasn’t actually getting sadder. I was just annoyed that I didn’t have the exact food I could eat because I was starving and I love pizza. So, I tried to emotionally manipulate my family in order to get my needs met. Because I ✨clearly✨ couldn’t do it myself. recalling this just bitterly reminds me of how entitled I acted when I was a kid. I acted like the snooty kind of princess; not like Elsa like I was hoping. Anyway, it built my reputation as a lazy scum. It certainly doesn’t help now that it took every single minute of free time I had at home to get my homework done this year. I’m in (the last week of) eighth grade. If this is middle school, what is college? But that’s an angry rant for another time.

I have a third occurrence but I don’t remember it well. It was basically this: my best friend and I were play-fighting at age, like, 7 or 8, and I totally underestimated my strength and kind of… aggressively beat her with a minecraft pickaxe made of a kind of hard type of foam to win the battle. She didn’t bleed or bruise, but I feel really crappy about that, even now. We’re not friends anymore, and I’m not sure if it’s because I moved schools or if it’s because I treated her horrendously (which I totally did), but I’m afraid to reconnect for a few reasons: what if it is because I treated her horrendously? what if she we don’t have anything in common anymore? she doesn’t fit in with my current friends because we became friends at a time where I lacked empathy or understanding of my own identity or the desire to be unique. I just wanted to fit in and be popular. And she fit in with that group of people. We did have fun, and she was really cool, but I don’t think we would get along anymore.

Okay, so, the fourth occurrence is the most recent. I was eleven and I fit most of the symptoms for depression, but I was basically in denial and just tried to keep going without a single change to my life. It obviously blew up, and I hurt a lot of my friends in the process, then my “mid-tier” anxiety worsened. I remember only actually crying once: the afternoon after I observed the repercussions of the whole event. It was called the “Google Slides Massacre of April 27, 2022” because I basically just wrote a google slides presentation on why I hated everyone and sent it to their emails. 😭 It kills me to think about because “wdym the worst mistake of my life was on google slides!?” There’s a lot of background to that, but I’ll save that for another time because it is almost 3 am and I am low-key kinda tired. I’ll probably regret posting this tomorrow, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because when I say I hate myself (my past self at least) I think people need context. 🦗 … bye. good night/morning/day everyone.

thank youuuuu! 🙏

bored so i made these ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

this lives rent-free in my brain

our home amongst the stars xD

reblog to tell your mutuals they’re lovely as fuck

request granted. this is some gorgeous art. 10/10.

REDRAW OF MR CHEESE!! :D

First image of him

genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital

I aspire to be this petty. 😭

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.