*Stuck In Their Civilian Identities Trying To Stop A Villain*

*Stuck in their civilian identities trying to stop a villain*

Clark: *whispering* Bruce what do we do?!

Bruce: *whispering back, stuck in Brucie mode* I dunno man, usually I just flash my tits and all my problems go away

*Clark’s eyes dart down to Bruce’s unbuttoned shirt and a blush takes over his cheeks*

Clark: Oh, erm, *cough* y-yeah I could see that…

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More Posts from Khaasi and Others

3 months ago
Uh Lesbians

Uh lesbians


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1 month ago

Clone Danny Fenton amuses me so here's another dumb crossover idea: Danny is one of the "failed" clones of Kon that Tim tried to make, but clockwork snatched his lifeless baby corpse before Tim could dispose of it (Tim just assumed he did when it disappeared, writing it off as he did it while too sleep deprived to remember clearly or something) and CW uses the pit to revive it before dropping him off with the Fentons in a completely different dimension.

Danny knows he's adopted and realizes he's not normal fairly early on, but doesn't manifest the more noticeable of his powers til after his accident, so he blames it all on his halfa status and not the alien heritage he has no way of knowing about. Once shit hits the fan and his dimension is no longer safe for him to live in, CW sits him down and explains both his alien (in more ways than one) and clone statuses. CW then offers Danny the chance to meet his maker and template, which Danny agrees to because why not? He's got nothing to lose. Danny's injured 16 y/o ass is then dropped a short distance from a timberkon (who are now in their early 30s because that'd how time works) date/hangout and Danny just plops himself at their table and steals some of Tim and Kon's food before literally any words are exchanged.

Kon, freaking out because this kid looks like him???: Uhhhh??? Kid??

Tim, bewildered: Who?? What?? Kid, wtf??? Do we know you??

Danny, swallowing his mouthful of stolen food: Yes and no.

Danny, points lazily at Tim: Creator.

Danny, equally lazy point to Kon: Template.

Danny, blinking slowly at Bernard: I don't think you had anything to do with HOW I'm here, but as you clearly are part of this now, surprise, it's a scientific freak of nature.

Danny, ignoring the devastated looks on his "parents'" faces and steals more food while continuing: He/him pronouns and I go by Danny. AND ONLY Danny, not Daniel, not Danno, and certainly not Dan.

Tim, slowly takes a deep breath and slides most of his meal towards the clearly starving child: Danny... You're NOT a freak, kiddo

Danny, seems to beam without changing his expression when he's got the food in his hands before processing how his comment must have sounded without context: Oh-ho! But I am! Finding out I was a half human alien clone was just the icing on the cake, really! I had an accident that I'm pretty sure destroyed all my flimsy human dna. I'm now half something else, that hilariously has a lot of crossover powers so I just assumed my accident gave me all of them before the dude that cradle robbed my dead baby corpse from the evil mastermind lab my creator.. has? Had? Meh. Who cares. But baby me was very dead and then he did something and I wasn't. This is where I inform you I grew up in a different dimension and know jack shit about this one.

Bernard: Okay, I have so many questions

Kon: Me too! What's your other half? What's your dimension like? Why did you seek us out now? What's your favourite colour? Any food restrictions? Do you have a place to stay? Why is your heart rate so slow? What's that buzzing sound coming from your chest? What-

Tim: KON! Let the kid actually tell you answers!

Bernard, sliding some of his food over to Danny while eyeing the subtily stiff way Danny is moving: Plus, the more pressing question is, how hurt are you, Danny?

Kon: You're HURT???

Danny, frowns at Bernard ratting him out before turning his attention back to the food in front of him: I got vivisected, it's fine, it's healing

The adults all suck in a sharp breath before sharing a look. They agree this is their kid now and people can take him from them over their cold dead bodies.

Danny feels 3 shiny new parental bonds snap into place, startling the shit out of him. He didn't think they'd want him tbh, AND he didn't think they'd have enough ectoplasum to even do a claiming like that. He nearly starts crying, BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WANT HIM.

Tim, concerned: Danny? What's wrong?

Danny, blinking wetly: You're liminals?

Bernard: "Liminals"?

Danny: Human with ectoplasum in their system. I just.. you want me?

Kon, sacrificing what's left of his food to Danny: I don't know what that means. AND of course we want you. You're family now.

Tim, nodding: There's no escape.

The adults all giggles, thinking of different situations with supers or bats or both. It only lasts a second because Danny bursts into tears, just completely overwhelmed by the situation. The adults instinctively get closer, but don't touch, unsure if it would help or worsen Danny's state.

Tim: Danny?

Kon: Would you like a hug-oof!

Danny dives into Kon's side and desperately clings to him with enough force to break a human's ribs. Tim and Bernard crowd closer and rub his back in soothing motions.

Bernard: What's wrong, kiddo?

Danny: Dani should have been here too!

Tim: Danny? I thought your name was Dani?

Danny: She was Dani with one n and an I. I'm Danny with two n's and a y. She- She was my clone, but...

Bernard: You don't have to tell us

Danny: ...She wasn't super stable. I'd help her restabilize every time she started to destabilize, but... but I got caught! She came for help and got caught too! I watched her melt in that shitty lab! There was so much- I wanted- SHE'S GONE!

The adults are devastated. Kon squeezes Danny tightly.

Kon, softly: tell us about her?

And so Danny does. Explaining how she came to be, their first interactions, her strong and independent personality, the little souvenirs she brought him while she traveled to figure herself out, how her condition always worried him, but she wouldn't-couldn't stay with him, and how he wanted to talk about finding her a new name because she deserved to have her own name, not something that reminds her she's a defective clone, but he never got the chance. He has a messy breakdown while explaining her final moments and how his bindings, power suppression cuffs chained to the floor and a muzzle, prevented him from giving her comfort and how SHE apologized to HIM. He thought he was going to die with her in that moment, his core cracking at her loss.

This leads to a short explanation of his ghost biology and how dangerous a cracked core is. And by then, he's flagging, so the adults start persuading the kid to crash in their guest room, with the promise of dinner.

Thus begins the process of timberkon convincing Danny to stay with them. Teaching the kid about his original dimension and the many heroes. They get him so MANY books about space and alien civilizations once they find out his obsession (literally) with that kind of thing. Danny still misses his sisters and friends like an amputated arm, but he slowly rebuilds, letting himself gain a new family and new friends.

His introduction to both the Bats and Supers could have gone better.

He's suspicious and wary of Clark the whole time he was meeting the Kents because of how Clark has treated his own clones in the past. Danny doesn't understand him, and Clark doesn't truly understand, but is more sad than anything about it and accepts he made his bed, now he must lay in it. He warms up to the rest fairly quickly. He's also introduced to Bizarro and Clara eventually and that goes well.

With the Bats, Danny, Bruce, and Dick verbally pace around each other. Bruce deep throating his foot, and Dick not being much better while trying to keep the peace. The rest watch on with amusement before the show is a cut short by Damian of all people intervening. The problem is Damian snuck up behind (unintentionally), grabbed his shoulder while calling Danny "Daniel" (something he was informed to NOT do), and Danny's brain went "VLAD FOUND ME??" (despite there being no way, CW will not let him find Danny) and reacts with violence. Damian barely escaped having any broken bones, that being said, where Danny grabbed to literally throw Damian has DEEP bruising, that arm was dislocated, he has more bruising from hitting the floor, and gained a concussion. Danny apologizing profusely while scolding this 28 y/o man about sneaking up on him AND using a name he specifically told everyone NOT to use. Damian is man enough to apologize while Alfred patches him up. Meeting Duke and Cass is nice, he's unsure about Steph (because how rambunctious she is) and Alfred, Barbara makes him homesick for Jazz, and Jason is funny til he gets a heart attack in the form of Danny offering to eat the corrupt ectoplasum (Lazarus waters) out of him. There's chaos after that, but it eventually calms down, especially since timberkon are protective of their baby and Tim looks like he's about to go super villain on them the moment "tests" are brought up. Danny is embarrassed and pleased as his Creator (he never stops jokingly calling Tim that, Kon gets Template, and Bernard is Human, when they aren't just called their name. Eventually he calls them all dad, though Bernard is sometimes called mom) threatens to ruin their everything if they continue. Threats they take seriously because they know Tim will follow through. After that it goes well.


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2 months ago
khaasi - Bez tytułu

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eel
3 months ago

okay contrary to a previous post i made: what if jason wrote fanfiction but it became a MC Daredevil situation where literally everyone knew his identity but he just waves them off

Jason: *writing A/N* here you go guys, sorry, something came up with my job comments: we all know it was the warehouse penguin blew up. its all over the news jason: *responding* idk what you're even talking about dude, i don't own a tv. how could a flightless avian blow up a warehouse

jason: this chapter's gonna be a little dark cuz that's my mood this week comments: is it because they took you off the earth's greatest threats list? jason: they wh---no of course not

jason: *posts* comments: we missed you red hood! jason: idk who that guy is but he sounds cool

jason: ugh, have you guys seen the new episode? shit's horrible. here's a fix-it. comments: do you . . . perhaps . . . think its horrible because they misused the gun props . . . jason: no i was talking about x character dying but YES OH MY GOD THAT PART HURT ME TO WATCH comments: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

comments: so when r u going to change your ao3 name to redhood? jason: i fucking swear if one more of you moterfuckers insinuates that i am the gotham vigilante known as the red hood i will withhold five of my most recently written chapters from the entire fucking lot of you comments: . . . you'd never jason: fuck

comments: you have an interestinly in-depth and expanisve kowledge of firearms jason: well, we all have hobbies jason: mine was born out of fear of the ao3 author curse. ima fuckin shoot the thing the moment i see it comin comments:


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dc
1 month ago
Brucie And His Babies (and Oh No He Forgot He Invited Clark And Diana Oh No-)
Brucie And His Babies (and Oh No He Forgot He Invited Clark And Diana Oh No-)

Brucie and his babies (and oh no he forgot he invited Clark and Diana oh no-)


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2 months ago

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

Prev Post / Next Post


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3 months ago

Gotham City Subway

Gotham City Subway

The only Robin who can squat during a train ride is Stephanie Brown; sadly, Damian doesn’t currently have the skill.

3 months ago

I feel like we as a fandom don’t talk enough about how much girls Tim picks up, like this man pulls

I see this and I raise you, Tim flirting with the reporters and just rizzing them up accidently

Hes like so smooth that the reporter —be it a forty year old man or a woman in her twenties— is just like in love with him after interviews and It’s not even something he tries to do, he just talks like that

It’s a meme, he’s like internet famous and it’s because he got a famously super calm and collected reporter guy twirling his hair (very off putting because he’s bald) and giggling at everything he says

3 months ago
Stop Causing Trouble!

stop causing trouble!


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2 months ago

Adopt a Bat Dad

AKA "Danny becomes de-aged in Gotham and finds the only person he knows who can probably help. Bruce Wayne, the Batman. Except Bruce thinks Danny is a kid mistaking him for his dad??" prompt idea!!

HC that Bruce Wayne and Jack Fenton look super similar. Therefore, Danny and Bruce also look pretty similar!!

I love the idea that Danny already knows Bruce Wayne is Batman. Maybe it's his aura or because the amount of kids Bruce has directly correlates to the amount of bat-themed sidekicks there are. Who knows? Anyway, Danny comes into a small bit of trouble. He may or may not have insulted an immortal witch who cursed him because he's an "immature child, may as well look as young as you act!"

So. Now Danny looks a solid 3-4 years old. It's a good thing that Sam and Tucker briefed him on all he celebrity gossip before he came to Gotham, because he coincidentally knows where the Wayne Enterprise building is. He... can figure it out. Probably. It's actually alarming how many people watch what they think is an unaccompanied kid huff and puff his way in downtown Gotham. (Also, wow, Danny severely underestimated how difficult it is to run after being babified.) But he does make it to the general area of where WE is supposed to be!

His legs are practically shaking at this point, sweating through his toddler-sized NASA hoodie, and searching frantically for Bruce Wayne. Because he really didn't think of it before, but it's Friday afternoon. What if Mr. Batman isn't at WE today? What if Danny gets to WE after 5pm and he's gone until Monday? Would Danny even be able to find the Wayne Manor, much less get transportation there?

Except as Danny's becoming increasingly worried (don't cry, don't cry, don't cry), he spots... his dad?? in the coffee shop windows beside him. No, not his dad. Bruce fucking Wayne! Hell, yeah! Danny smacks open the doors of the coffee shop with single-minded toddler-clumsy determination. Makes a bee-line straight to the coffee pick-up. Bruce Wayne is standing off to the side, quietly speaking on his phone, as Danny practically slams face-first into his knees. Thankfully, it doesn't take either of them down, but it is particularly embarrassing.

Especially when Danny clutches to Batman's pant leg and confidently shouts, "Batman!" Except... he doesn't. A weird jumble of words come out of his mouth that sound more like baba! It's like the world screeches to a stop because, first of all, what the fuck. Second, that bitch witch! She must've made it so whatever he says comes out in toddler-speak despite the fact that he should be able to say somewhat comprehensible sentences, being he's physically 3-4.

That doesn't stop him from trying, though, so he ends up babbling baba, baba, baba in an increasingly frustrated tone.

And Bruce Wayne, who's become used to Damian calling him baba instead of Father, can only stare down at this child who could pass as his clone. The similarities are striking. Even if the toddler is huffing, red-cheeked and clearly on the verge of crying, he looks so much like Bruce that he wonders momentarily if it's another Damian situation.

Regardless, there's a kid crying in front of him, tugging on his pant leg and calling for his dad. And Bruce is nothing if not absolutely weak-hearted against stuff like this. So, he leans down and just... scoops the kid up. Murmurs, "Shh, it's okay, kiddo. You're okay." Pats the kid's back, sways. Completely forgets he's in a crowded coffee (this is definitely going on YouTube, posted under 'Wayne Adopts Another??') and that he's on a phone call with Dick. It's like his Dad Instincts kick in and he's completely focused on Danny.

Danny is... bewildered. Because why is the Batman coddling him?? Except he notices that others have noticed, and have their phones out recording, which is really Not Good. He's not super confident that his parents would be able to recognize him while he's de-aged, but the fact that they might? That's opening a can of worms he can't handle at the moment. So his little string bean arms loop around Bruce's neck and he shoves his face into the collar of the man's suit. Much to his irritation, he can hear several girls next to him coo and giggle about him being such a cute baby. Danny's really regretting not approaching Batman privately now.

And it doesn't end!!

Bruce calms the kid down and then immediately goes to the store manager, asking if any parents have lost their child. He doesn't trust that someone may claim Danny as theirs when that may not be the case. Then, he calls up Gordon, asks about any missing person reports on a child the ages of 2-5 with average height, medium build, and black hair. No hits. Eventually, Bruce makes up his mind and takes Danny home with him. Oracle will likely be able to pull more information than the GCPD anyways.

Meanwhile, Danny zonks out. Like full on, toddler-sprawl open-mouth drooling, because it's been a long day and he got Batman. He did it! And from the way Bruce is still carrying him, Danny will likely be with him for a little while. A little catnap will do him some good. Maybe when he wakes up, he'll magically have the ability to speak normally instead of hysterically babble.

(Four hours later, Danny wakes up on the couch at Wayne Manor, bundled up in super soft blankets with Bruce talking on the phone with some woman. Bruce smiles at the way Danny says baba again. Danny's ready to throw that witch into Bruce's well-maintained fireplace because screaming son of bitch isn't as satisfying when it sounds like sa-bA-BAH!!")

Cue Danny doing increasingly ridiculous things to make The "Greatest Detective" Batman realize he's not a literal baby and Bruce Wayne so enamored with this little kid that he does not realize.


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khaasi - Bez tytułu
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