Trying To Prove A Point To My Transphobic Parents

That's when you bust out, "word" synonym, on Google

I used to be a powerlifter

(please reblog this version, as it is finished!)

Trans visibility day you know what that means

+10 bragging rights

-15 TRANSparency

*laughs to self*

writing and transness my two favorite worldly desires.

I don’t know why I always gravitate back to writing about being trans. On one hand it is quite the unique and different experience and I would add it’s fair to say it’s pretty all encompassing in my life whether I like it or not but it’s not like I don’t have anything else in my life to write about. I could write about my weird need to be independent or how differently I act by myself versus with even my closest companions. I do try to write about those things but then I get distracted and before I know it a week has passed but something weird happens when I write about being part of this strange little group. I’m able to let the words just flow out and almost nothing could distract me from finishing. If I had to guess why this happens I would presume it’s because of how inescapable it has felt in this point of life. I’ve barely just completely grasped my transness about a year ago (though I've been questioning since 10) and I’ve only really toyed with my name which didn’t take long considering I’ve always been weirdly drawn to the name Katherine. Recently for the first time I've had good enough friends I can tell and they’ve been wildly helpful yet still I feel as if I haven’t had enough initiative in a year of fully accepting myself. For make-up I’ve tried lip-stick once when my family were somewhere for a few days and I’ve been doing my nails more frequently but that's about it. I shave my face almost everyday to keep it at bay, but I don’t really have the tools for shaving anywhere else. And for clothes I have done zilch. It’s not like I haven’t done these things out of lack of effort, it's just hard to do them when in a packed house, when in constant fear, and having a lack of expendable income in a slew of more important expenses. With all this writing is my way to express these feelings I can’t in daily life. I’ve never been adequate at drawing and while I have been doodling more, I don’t think I care to really put a ton of work into it. So with the physical medium out of the way that leaves words. I’ve always been very creative with a lot of thoughts yet I’ve never had a great way to express it. I always thought I hated writing. Always forced to write a long drawl of something I truly feel passionless for. The odd free writes were always fun but the piles of essays and grammar mistakes were always there to make sure I always hated writing. Thank the stars, that recently for the first time I had a teacher who made me realize the joy that can come from writing when you care. Sadly that was last year's teacher but the essays don’t feel as grueling to get through and when we’re doing a paragraph on occasion they feel fun. Now with both these discoveries of late, both from last year interesting enough, I have been going through a bit of a change in how i am. For the first time in my life there is a very clear goal to why I should keep going to get out of this house. 1) so I can be who I want to be 2) so I can write. I've promised myself at the very least I’ll try to get myself there. No matter the obstacle no matter the strife I have to try because in the end memento mori.

Sam is a madman slowly making these people go insane.. and you're making a gif of it *smh* 😔 /j

Everybody do the wenis!

Gif alt:

Don't get me wrong, I love cccc, but I'm so glad we're talking about this. Mind electric is what introduced me to chonny, but the song that made me actually want to check out more was Chonny's Inferno. And even beyond his covers, his original music is fantastic. It took me way too long to listen to gothic whore because no one talks about it and quite frankly it challenges cccc for my favorite album of his. His new originals especially have been so good. To toe deadlines and compelled by hindsight are probably my favorite Chonny songs if not my favorite songs of all time right now. Cccc will always be special to me, but (forgive me for this reference) can we variate these hues.

Aka this whole thing is a cry of help from me asking for more gothic whore fanart from the community.

Chonny Jash fandom stop relating the meaning of every song and lyric to cccc challenge (HARD MODE)

This may be a little backward compared to how most people see it, but I see Whole as the only true character. Hms are just the facets of what makes this character, and as the story goes on, Heart, Mind, and Soul all become separate characters to Whole before eventually going back to facets when they become Whole.

I also don't think Whole hates any of hms. I think there's hate within the hms circle but none coming from Whole towards a direct member. I'm sure he has some sense of self loathing because of the entropy within his mind but it's not like he would specifically think he hates Heart or Mind or whatever.

And while I think Whole is a character, I think Heart, Mind, and Soul view him as a state. I think they have generally positive feelings towards him but I don't think they'd put him in the same ball park as a deity or something. More like the positive feelings you have towards a personal goal you need to accomplish.

part 5 of the ascertain how the cccc fandom really feels project thing (idc if this is annoying. answer my polls median chonny jash fan.)

DEFINE WHOLE GO NOW

- what is Whole? is Whole a person? a state? is he something to believe in (a god, even)?

- how do hms feel about whole? do they have different opinions? which of them are right? are any of them right? is it subjective?

Good god theyre multiplying

Drawing Mine and @gremlin-numero-uno (my wife) ponysonas :3 (WIP)