There’s No Such Thing As Free Willy

oh this is hispanic? what about herpanic?

skim milk is the lacroix of milk

i think the old-fashioned top-loading washers and dryers make love but these new electronic ones only fuck.

the herds of machines in laundromats are merely cattle and can’t comprehend the warmth of a lovers arms.

laundromat vending machines like holding hands.

counterspell: jar of peanut butter

Set off the metal detector but instead of bringing out a regular sniffer dog it’s a guy in a fursuit and he’s reeeeeally excited

the italian grandma seems to be arguing in favour of packing as light as possible and so the conversation has turned to a detailed discussion of optimizing the folding of laundry

currently listening to an irate italian grandma rant to her friends about trip planning while i take the scotrail from inverness to aviemore

adderall is the thinking man’s ozempic

me: … and like why is the AI revolution about automating art not labor?

dad (professional artist): well, we’ve gotta steal from the people we always steal from first, first.

sometimes i wish i were a crime boss so i could party with federal agents

obama on linked in be like “hello….. i am .. former president. barack. … obama. … and i am. …. hashtag. open to work.”