Me Sitting On The Floor Of The Bathroom With The Lights Off And The Door Closed Eating Bowls Of Pills

intellectual sloppy call that sucrates

she insert into my database until i query

she query on my sequel til i — no that can’t be right. there’s something here tho…

Your blog really runs on the logic of unfunny + head/getting head/life changing head = funny. (I think you should check your maths)

when she sends you hate mail <<333

ahh the great outdoors :)

(((​you should tell him about the galactic federation of light)))

ive got 99 problems and hiking 45 miles with someone i met hiking the cdt who seems normal at first turns out to be schizophrenic and thinks people are following him because he broke up with his girlfriend 13 years ago and "she cant get over it" and now she sends people across the country to harass him so that he will get back together with her turns out to be one of them

just had a surprisingly good and only moderately overpriced burger on the sales force anti homeless bench

feels good to be back

at in n out listening to this kid explain his gambling technique to his mom rn

babe wanna push this boulder up this hill with me?

rolling down the street, nixon tapes on full blast with the bass all the way up

when you really think about it, the garden of eden is just a safe and cozy enclosure with soft grass and fruits

duck sex is the dark souls of sex