It's Absolutely Outrageous To Me That Humans Can't Easily Reattach Body Parts. Most Of The Time When

*the horrors approach with hot glue guns and bags of rhinestones* you want to be bedazzled, you say?

*canonballs into 2024 bc i've grown inured to the horrors and am overdue to be bedazzed by the wonders* giddyeup bitch

... yeah, that sounds horrible enough to be Hell

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

WEDNSDAY 

Okay but how many students were recording this for posterity? How many people wanted proof that "Uncle Fruitloop" was a real live person and pulled out their phones to record? How many wide-eyed undergrads now have video proof of Vlad "THE Rich White Guy™" Masters bickering with a twenty-year-old, implying yandere levels of stalkerdom towards said twenty-year-old's mother, and then driving off with him as if this was perfectly normal behavior?

Within 2 days of the argument, "Uncle Fruitloop" goes viral. There are vicious debates over whether or not the videos are real. Business moguls are suddenly very interested in the boy Masters apparently wants as an apprentice. "Motherfucker wannabe" becomes a meme.

When asked about the conversation, Vlad Masters claims his nephew is simply overdramatic and refuses to acknowledge further questions. Naturally this only raises further questions.

I can’t stop thinking about how Vlad is like the DP universe equivalent of some strange queer crossbreed between Elongated Muskrat and Jefferham Bezos AND he’s also Danny’s shitty uncle. But you would never even consider the two know each other, because Danny is just some guy, nobody would ever make a connection between him and Vlad unless you were close enough with either of them or you lived in AP. Imagine being Danny’s college roommate. Imagine how shocking and chaotic that would be. There’s some random weird ass kid from some backwater town, that you can barely remember the name of, sharing a room with you. And like, he’s chill for the most part. Weird as hell at times but easy enough to get along with. He brings up his uncle sometimes and the guy sounds more and more insane each time your roommate describes him. “What kind of pathetic old man gets into a prank war with a teenager?” “What do you mean he named his cat after your mom?? ” “Why didn’t you call the cops on him when he spiked your dad’s drink at the New Year’s party so he wouldn’t have to listen to him?!!” Your roommate’s creepy gross sad lonely uncle becomes kind of an inside joke between you and your friends. That’s why, when your roommate announces that his uncle is coming to pick him up and drive him home for some important family event, you all gather near the parking lot to finally witness this myth of a man in real life. It’s also why you nearly faint in shock when Vlad fucking Masters steps out of a car to greet your roommate who, without missing a beat, immediately calls him a bitch.

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

please Gaud have mercy

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

I haven't seen any but now I very much want to

don't know much about furry fiction but surely there is an established trope wherein some furries are allergic to other characters' dander? like say a gecko scalie falls in love with a cat furry but is allergic to cat hair. trials & tribulations & claritin ensure

You know, I've never really thought about Mother Goose poems in years (outside of references to such), but I'd be baffled and bewildered if someone told me they'd never heard Jack & Jill, or Little Miss Muffet, or Hey Diddle Diddle.

And now that I put this into words, it sounds silly. Of course there's people who haven't heard those rhymes, at minimum anyone who didn't speak English as a child. Now I want to know if other languages/cultures have something similar. Those silly childhood tales that hardly ever get thought of, but almost everyone has heard at least once when they were little.