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the horrors

crusty catapult I drew on my 3ds at 1:30 am

This is the story of Stanley. No no no not you, Stanley. You can stay and continue whatever mind-numbingly boring work you've been doing for the past however many years. I'm talking about the Stanley Cup™️! Yes, this Stanley Cup™️ (a spinning model of a Stanley Cup appears on the screen). Well, isn't it beautiful! I got one recently, since everyone went NUTS over them and I had to see why. And now I see. Believe me, Stanley. I saw it the moment I put one in my hand. My body filled with warmth and feeling of the most sincere childlike happiness. It was- Actually, I don't think my explanation does it justice. (the cup spawns above the table in front of Stanley and falls off it comically) Look! Look!! Oh how magnificently this Stanley Cup™️ shines in the lights of your office, Stanley! The man, I mean of course! It's yellow! Quite a lovely color. My favorite one, in fact. This Yellow Stanley Cup™️ was the last one in the store as well! I was so lucky that moment. Not that it would detract from the euphoric experience if it was any other color. (every playthrough the color is different and every time he says it's his favourite)

I clearly see a question spark up in your eyes: (does that one high creaky voice) "Hey, what do you actually do with this so-called "Stanley Cup™️"?". And as an owner of one, I'm happy to answer! Well, let's start with the obvious. You see… It's a cup! Like a bucket but smaller! Wait, not that small, a bit bigger, yes that's about right. It does whatever your cup you store unchewed pencils in does! The company making those says that Stanley Cup™️ 99% compatible with all fluids, non-fluids and other substances a cup is. I wonder what that one percent is about. Ahem. Secondly, yes, that's not all, it has a small cap! You put it on and voila! Your hot tea stays cold for a long longer than it would in any non-Stanley™️ cup! Thirdly, it plainly gives you a feeling of safety. I don't know how I would fare in a burning car with it but I certainly will take it to my business meetings! It probably will prevent any fear of a raise or a promotion.

gee scott. i wonder how this couldve possibly been prevented.

WIP of my game's first location theme!!!!

Proof that mint tastes bad.

To prove mint tastes bad, we must first prove two other statements:

1. Proof that all horses are the same color.

This will be a proof by induction. We have a group of n horses. For our base case, suppose n = 1. A group of horses containing one horse has exactly one color, and thus all horses in the group have the same color.

Now for the inductive step. If n horses have the same color, prove n + 1 horses have the same color. To the group of n horses of the same color, add a new horse and remove one of the horses. This group still contains n horses, which all have the same color because n horses are the same color. Now re-add the horse to the group and remove a different horse (so neither the new horse nor the re-added horse). This is still a group of n horses, but which contains the originally removed horse and the new horse. Because groups of n horses have the same color, these two horses must be the same color. The horse which is currently removed is also the same color as the new horse because it was previously in a group of n horses with the new horse. Now add back it that removed horse. Because both removed horses are the same color as the new horse, this new group of size n + 1 must all be the same color. QED

2. Proof that not all horses are the same color.

This will be a visual proof.

QED

We are now ready for 3. Proof that mint tastes bad.

Suppose all horses are the same color (proven in bullet point 1) and not all horses are the same color (proven in bullet point 2). Because all horses are the same color (P) is true, the statement all horses are the same color or mint tastes bad (P + Q) is also true. However, the statement not all horses are the same color (!P) is true, so P must be false. Because P is false but P + Q is true, statement Q must be true by disjunctive syllogism. Therefore, mint tastes bad. QED