Noctis: I Will Literally Suplex Ravus Just To Take A Nap Right Now.

Nikolai: Congratulations! You’ve been promoted to missing person!

Sigma: Again!?

Nikolai: What do you mean again?! Who kidnapped you before me?!

Dante: Vergil! We have a problem!

Vergil: I know, I’m looking at it.

Don't talk to me or my sons ever again

色塗り練習🍴

Fyodor: What are you doing?

Nikolai: Decorating the base for Halloween.

Fyodor: Stop it. Bring Bram back inside this instant.

Gladio: I swear to Astrals! If you touch my cup noodles again I will shave your ass!

Iris: *comes down the stairs* brother what are you-

*cat sitting on the coffee table keeping eye contact with Gladio with its paw half way in the cup noodles*

Gladio: *has his sword out ready to start swinging*

Will this get flagged?

Funny and/or creepy things Noctis has said.

I should do more funny creepy dialogue more often.

—

Noctis: Oh my god, my dad is coming. Everyone T-pose!

Ignis: Noct-

Noctis: NOW.

—

Noctis: Goddamnit.

Prompto: What?

Noctis: It’s Monday.

—-

Noctis: In this world, it’s fish or be fished.

Ignis: That doesn’t make sense.

Noctis: Fishes like you shouldn’t speak to fisherman like me!

Ignis: Noct.

Noctis: Begone Fishnis! Fishermoctis is on the hunt for Promfish!

Prompto: I’m confused, amused, and a bit unnerved?

—

Noctis: Since you’re all meat and not fat, does that mean if I cut you into thin slices I would feast for weeks?

Gladiolus: Please get that sword away from me.

—

Noctis: Nyx can I eat your hands?

Nyx: Um, no?

Noctis: Fine, your legs. Not like you need them.

Nyx: Uumm, I do?

Noctis: Fine, Earlobe.

Nyx: N- …let me think.

Crowe/Libertus: Nyx!

Nyx: What?

Noctis: Can I eat it or what?

Nyx: Ye- wait, uh No!

Noctis: Assholes.

—

Noctis: Are finger foods made out of fingers?

Ignis: Please put the knife down.

—

Prompto: So Behemoths eat people, so does that mean we’re eating people when we’re eating Behemoths?

Gladiolus: No.

Noctis: Yes.

Gladiolus: Noct, no.

Noctis: Noct, Yes.

Gladiolus: No damnit!

Ignis: Actually, Noctis is correct.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Told you.

—-

Noctis: I don’t like eyeballs, tastes too squishy.

Ignis: Please tell me you’re talking about grapes.

Noctis: What else would I be talking about?

Gladiolus: Stop calling them eyeballs.

Noctis: They look like them so no.

Gladiolus: Good grief.

Noctis: Also because Ignis won’t let me have real eyeballs so grapes at the closest thing I can have.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Give me eyes.

Ignis: Again, no.

—-

Noctis: Ignis is my impulse control, so I’m gonna eat your fingers while he’s gone.

Libertus: I don’t know how I got here but somebody untie me!!

—-

Reblog!

Nikolai: I’m a lovable person. I’m great to be around. People say I light up their life.

Sigma: *in the other room* WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE?!

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

Ais: *cornering Kira* I plan on making you scream

Kira: *panicking remembering the other night* As in kill me or have sex with me?

Vere: whatever makes him cum faster