[Bang!!]

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

Eyelashes are on that premium subscription 😩

Experimental fight scene

Daydreaming about my book:

Writing my book:

Writing advice from my uni teachers:

If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.

Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.

Before you write your novel, write a page of anything from your characters POV so you can get their voice right. Do this for every main character introduced.

喫茶店の店主

I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

You knew it was stupid, knew it would likely get you killed. The gods did not like being bothered about such trivial matters. But you were just… so. fucking. tired. Tired of being alone, tired of being betrayed and used, of being constantly taken for granted. You just wanted someone to look forward to seeing you, to look forward to spending time with you, just because you are you. You wanted to be enough.

With trembling fingers, you lit the small fire, watching your offering be eaten by the flames. You had said your piece, and you knew that they would either ignore you, or you would incur their wrath for asking for help in such a thing. You loved your patron deity dearly, but you weren’t stupid. You knew what you were risking. Even if they didn’t kill you for this, you would forever be out of favour with them.

Suddenly, you felt a change in the air, and you looked up, startled. Your breath left your lungs all in a silent whoosh as you stared up at your patron deity, awed by their presence here, and confused as to why they had come personally. They could just as easily kill you from afar. Perhaps you had just angered them that badly.

Strangely, you saw no anger in their gaze as they looked upon you, only flickers of something that you didn’t understand. After awhile, they spoke up, voice carrying across the short distance. 

“What is it you ask of me?” They asked lowly, though you knew they were already aware. Even with them speaking so quietly, there was power to their voice that no mortal could hope to match.

As if their question was tugging at the floodgates, you felt thickness settle at the back of your throat, tears stinging at your eyes.

“I..I just… I can’t do it anymore… I just need someone…someone to care about me. I just want someone to be happy that I exist. Anyone…” Your voice clogged in your throat and you choked out a sob, shoulders shaking with the weight of the world as you struggled to keep talking. 

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” You whispered brokenly, desperately trying to contain yourself. 

Ashamed of your behaviour, you couldn’t find the strength to raise your eyes and meet theirs, blurry gaze focused on the floor before you. You must have made such a pathetic sight to them. That was why it shocked you so much when their arms wrapped around you, your breath hitching in your throat.

Your deity knelt on the dirty ground before you, and gently drew you into their chest, rubbing their hand gently up and down your back as the other rested on your head, petting gently. The kindness tipped you over the edge, and you sobbed out shaky apologies as you crumpled in their hold. Gently they shushed you, as hands that had the power to destroy entire civilisations, tenderly rubbed circles over your spine.

“Shhh now… You’re not alone anymore.” They murmured comfortingly, cradling you ever so gently to their powerful frame, allowing you to let out years of pent up agony in the form of your broken cries.

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!