I Do Not Understand Dick. I'll Admit It. I'll Say It.

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

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I posted this on TikTok but I thought I’d post it here too

My favourite pastime is gender bending characters 😭🙏

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

love when fictional men are so devoted to their partner it makes them dangerous and insane. very slutty behavior keep it up king

when i first listened to nobody’s soldier by hozier i misheard the chorus as “choose between being a husband or a soldier”

and if that isn’t the most winterspider thing ever

And honestly Tony had been in love with Peter for a long time. Longer then what cared to admit.

But it was Peter talking to DUM-E that sealed his fate.

He had sent DUM-E to the corner for knocking over a tray. And when Peter got in asking why he was in the corner, he didn't laugh and go about his business. He went and knelt down next to him. Patting him on his head. Quietly talking to him about how about they train together for lab safety and maybe update his sensors to help prevent future accidents.