Starting To Suspect This Found Family Group Im Part Of Considers Me To Be The Pet

The author's poorly disguised fetish

The author's proudly displayed fetish

The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have

The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise

The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing

The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves

The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding

The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through

The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road

The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that

Lately I've been wanting a Spiderman/DC crossover fic but the twist is that it's the Batfamily that travels to the Marvel universe and ends up in Queens, it would be so funny, just imagine.

Nightwing: so you take care of all the crime here? Not only supervillains but also problems like kittens in trees?

Signal: He's like a meta spider firefighter

Red hood: And he doesn't have any crazy clown and he doesn't have to pretend to be a billionaire fool to hide his identity

Red robin: Well, to be fair, he does have a green goblin

Redhood: I'd take that crazy guy any day over the joker, WOW old man you must be so embarrassed

Batman:......

Spiderman: (noticeably worried but flattered?) Thanks for all your compliments but I think I should take you to my wizard friend to solve this little multiverse problem....

Batman:......even kittens?

Robin: Stop embarrassing yourself father, I'll take care of that in Gotham.

There would also be a little romance between Jason and Peter because why not? it would be so fun (and don't even tell me Jason wouldn't be dazzled by Peter)

I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose

Every Mafia AU

Happy never forgets a face. Never. It's what makes him extra valuable to someone like Tony Stark. Tony Stark, who runs Stark Industries. Tony Stark, who is head of the Carbonell Italian mob; though, while there is some speculation, it's never been proven.

Happy had a system. He categorized people into color groups.

Green for these people are no bodies and didn’t touch the crime world and were safe to interact with.

Yellow for people who are some bodies but won't cauae trouble but have connections.

Red are people who have connections and could cause trouble.

Then their were Black. Those are the unknowns, and they could be as bad as the reds. People a little too clean. Or people who maybe could be someone undercover. Not enough information on them.

Before every convention, Happy makes a point to do background checks on everyone. He memorized all the photos of the people attending. Sure, maybe Friday helps break into the databases to get the photos, but he is just trying to protect Tony.

So when Happy saw Tony talking to someone, he was already going through the catalog in his mind to place the person. Catching Tony's eye, he touched his black tie to silently signal the group the person falls in. Doesn’t mean it's gonna stop Tony, but it just means he is gonna be a bit more cautious. Hopefully.

Peter Parker. 20 years old. Just finished with his masters at Columbia University in Biochemical Engineering. Mother was a scientist as well. Mary Fitzpatrick. Irish. No father listed on the birth certificate. She married another scientist 4 years later, Richard Parker. Both deceased. Plane crash. Italian Aunt and Uncle raised him. Uncle died later. Shot at a Bodega. Not their area, so not tied to them. Trained as a gymnast. Big brown eyes, wavy brown curls. Smart. Cute. Flexible. Just Tony's type.

But something nags at Happy as he watches Tony and Peter talk.

He glances around the room when he spots them.

The Winter Soldier leaned against a wall, looking around the room on the left side, looking a little too casual. At the refreshment table section was The Captain. He worked for the government but has ties to the Irish mob, though, like Tony. Couldn't be proven. He was staring at Peter and Tony with a frown, not subtle at all.

Then it hits. See, there were rumors that The Captain had a kid. Had them young before he was involved with potential mob connections. And he recalls another rumor going around that there was a small riff between The Captain and The Winter Soldier, a love interest that was not approved.

He has to get Tony away from this Peter Parker.

Peter Parker, who potentially could be the kid of The Captain Steve Grant Rogers.

Peter Parker, who potentially could be the love interest of The Winter Soldier James Buchanan Barnes

Spiderio + looks

*examines your pdf folder* have you read them all?

One thing about Starker that always gets me is how they're both huge nerds. Their minds are always racing with ideas and thoughts. To find someone that not only accepts that but revels in it? It's the best feeling in the world.

Also, I love that Peter gives Tony a run for his money. Tony is usually the one pressing everyone's buttons (re: the Avengers) but Peter presses all of his. He has such a big heart and no sense of self-preservation. Maybe Tony sees a bit of himself in Peter, but without the sarcasm he wears as armor.

our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text