Their Plan Is To Make Up Woke Reasons To Fire All Of Us Incompetent Straight White Guys Who've Skated

AAAAAAA

I used to take care of a couple goats, I am now feeling very weird that I didn't know goats have a dental pad.

Goat opinion: pygmy goat wethers are only obnoxious if you make it easy for them. Otherwise, they're practically obedient. And incredibly sweet!

I've expanded the instructions I gave for apologizing into a detailed listicle. I hope it'll be helpful. Some of the points, however, are very specific to the English language.

1. Don't explain what happened, it will sound like you're justifying your actions. And because of the way our brains work, you're likely to actually start justifying your actions. At that point, you're no longer apologizing. Remind yourself that the apology needs to have priority right now, and that there will be time later to identify causes and solutions.

2. Be specific, or at least use more words than "I'm sorry." "Sorry" is used so often as a polite noise, nearly meaningless, that it's difficult to be sincere, or even sound sincere when using it for a formal apology. Again, this ties into what @theconcealedweapon wrote: we're trained to say "sorry" when we don't mean it, so that becomes the core of the word's meaning, without our even realizing it. And if you're Australian, it gets even worse!

Personally, I use "I apologize" or "My apologies," or in dire circumstances, "Please accept my apology." This allows me to break my conditioning and focus on my genuine contrition, as well as making it clear to others that I'm taking the apology seriously.

3. Apologize for what you did, and absolutely NOT how it made someone feel. The latter is often used for manipulation.

Other things not to apologize for:

that the consequences of your actions happened

what you don't like about the person or group you're apologizing to

being right

being better than the people you're apologizing to

allegedly not having any idea what you're supposed to be apologizing for

...you'd think all this would go without saying, but it can be subtler than you might expect, and sometimes we do it without thinking, because we picked it up as children, from the nastier adults around us.

Instead, take a moment to focus on what you did, and how to describe it clearly in a way that accepts your fault and/or responsibility for the situation. Again, don't bring anything else into the apology, lest you make it seem less of an apology. People are so used to hearing the above crap from unrepentant people, that they will not give you the benefit of the doubt.

4. Watch your tone of voice. This is actually two separate points.

First, yet another thing we unconsciously pick up as children is the obviously sarcastic mock apology. It's not always a bad thing, it can be a joke or a verbal gesture, but you have to make sure you don't let that habit find its way into a genuine apology, and ruin it. This is where the bit about "Say it like you mean it" comes from. The easiest way to say it like you mean it is to mean it. See next paragraph.

Second, if you can't be respectful and express regret, you shouldn't be apologizing just yet. You're not ready. Leave the art of convincingly faking an apology to the con artists and cult leaders. You will probably need to just keep your mouth shut for a while. Acknowledge (to yourself) the possibility that you might change your mind later. In some rare cases, it may be possible to tell people, "I'm not ready to apologize just yet," but don't count on it.

5. (optional) If necessary and you can do it honestly, either characterize what you did, or agree with others' characterization of it, or promise to/ask how to not do it again, or multiple of the above. Say that it was wrong or inappropriate or a failure or whatever. Name people who called you out, say they were right, and repeat what they said about what you're apologizing for. If you promise not to do it again, don't pivot to talking about how great you will be in the future, keep it focused on the apology.

This might be a bit too much for less dire apologies, and you may not be able to manage this if you apologize the minute you can bring yourself to be sincere, but otherwise, you can build yourself some credibility by immediately seeking to improve yourself and make sure that YOU never do whatever-it-was again. It's more for privately apologizing to your direct supervisor, or to a friend.

On the other hand, beware of doing this if you're the authority figure, or are apologizing to a large group, because politicians routinely pivot away from making actual apologies by making big promises for the future. People are wise to this, though, and your whole apology is liable to be dismissed as bullshit if you try to use it for self-promotion.

So many people seem completely unaware of what a genuine apology is.

And that's because children are forced to say sorry on command.

Before they ever had a chance to process what they did, why they did it, what effect it had on others, or what they should have done instead, they're expected to say that they're sorry. And they're expected to "say it like you mean it" with no indication of what that even means and with no time to figure out how to phrase it correctly.

Sometimes, even when the child's actions are justified by any logical reasoning, they're expected to apologize because an authority figure demands it.

The goal of saying sorry ends up being solely to avoid punishment. And they phrase the apology in whatever way the authority figure will accept.

The result is an entire society filled with people who give completely useless apologies that appear like they're only trying to avoid punishment.

What does the asker think "propaganda" means? That's the least weird explanation for this, is that they've never actually learned what propaganda means, but their childhood guess, that it means something like "antisemitism" or "Communism" or "dictatorship" slots in to what they hear people saying close enough that they never realize they're misunderstanding everything.

If the asker doesn't engage with politics or history or social justice much, there wouldn't even be much chance of anyone noticing, until they get confused enough to send this ask.

how are you people alive.

Which type of "what the fuck" monster do you prefer, the lovecraft "I cannot comprehend this as that's terrifying", or the "I can comprehend this and I wish I didn't"?

I'm quite fond of "I thought I could comprehend this but I've just been struck by some Implications and now I'm afraid to comprehend any further"

Offbeat TTRPG adventure arc:

An adventurer NPC, who is known far and wide as an incorrigible chaos gremlin, has obtained a Ring of Wishing, and nobody in the known world trusts them with it. The players' heroes are just some of many people who are trying to stop this person and get the Ring of Wishing away from them before they blows up the entire world with it.

I find that almost everyone wants to find a way to convince themselves that they're smarter than the smart guy. I get confidently-incorrected all the time where I have a reputation for being "the smart guy," but people who don't know me very well, or haven't met me before, almost never try to correct me unless I say something really surprising.

The thing about tumblr is that you could make an entirely reasonable post like "hey in a pinch you can use potato starch as dry shampoo, just sprinkle it on top and comb it in, you can wash it off later and it'll be completely fine", and there's going to be someone reblogging this like

"sure this is safe and ok IN SOME CASES but ONLY if you're 100% sure that the thing you're using is potato starch and not something else, like laundry detergent! DO NOT EVER just sprinkle random powders into your hair before you're sure you've identified it correctly! You could burn your scalp off by following OP's advice without question!"

...Like are you sure that this is a real problem that people might actually have, or did you just feel like it should now be your turn to be talking?

Other similar things people say are:

"Oh, I was just curious."

"I was just asking a question!"

"Apparently you can't take criticism."

"If you can't take a little criticism, you shouldn't blah blah..."

"I'm just sayin'!"

"You need to touch grass."

"You take everything too seriously."

It's all the same redirection trick.

Complicating matters is the fact that not everyone who redirects this way is consciously aware of what they're doing and may not even have genuine malicious intent. People don't want to admit to any bad qualities... some people redirect like this so they don't have to admit to themselves that they were thoughtless or malicious.

That doesn't justify their behavior, however. It just makes it harder to correct.

You're not "too sensitive" for getting upset when someone purposely upsets you. It's not "just a joke". They know what they're doing. They're just hiding their bullying behind the label of joking so they can play innocent.

Let's thank our villainous voice actors!

Everyone say "Thank you!" to Georgina Leahy, the voice actor who brought to life Stella, this horrible lady-demon-bird-thing whom it feels so good to hate!

Anyone can chew scenery, but to really make a character feel odious in a way that makes it feel cathartic to hate them… that takes talent and hard work.

And the way Leahy voices Stella just a little lower and hoarser than her natural voice… that isn't something you can do all day without risking permanent consequences.

~@~

Let's also remember to thank Jason LaShea, the voice actor who brought to life Andreaplhus, the most punchable conniving bastard in web animation!

Sneering isn't a talent, but building a lawful evil antagonist with just the right balance of arrogance and sliminess, while matching the physical appearance and mannerisms of an animated character, is very much a talent, and also requires a lot of hard work!

So, as we wait for Season 3 and dream of wringing these characters' scrawny little bird necks, let's remember to show some love for the humans behind our villains, yeah?