Googling Shit Like "why Do I Feel Bad After Hanging Out With My Friends" And All Of The Answers Are Either

the comment sections of facebook links to science articles are my favourite thing in the world

thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

(Edit: fixed a spelling mistake because a few of you had pointed it out)

Once Upon A TIME,

a bunch of scientists realized that the current time system, of 60 seconds to 60 minutes to 24 hours, was a little ridiculous, and decided that like many other measurements, it needed to be given a metric system equivalent.

Unfortunately for them, they decided to keep all the same names for things, and people decided it was too confusing and the whole thing never took off.

Then a while back, I took that information, mixed it with my minecraft hyperfixation, and came up with a new time system. Hear me out, because I think that despite (or maybe due to?) its origin, it's actually a pretty solid system.

So, let's start big and work down, since that's simplest for this.

One day-night cycle. First of all, who decided a day-night cycle would be called a day? That entirely dismisses the other half of the cycle! So, the cycle will now be known as a Clock. This is not an issue, because unlike the old system, which used analog clocks which only showed numbers for half the cycle and had to go around twice per cycle (why???), the new system uses clocks which go around once per cycle (as it should be). Secondly, it's ridiculous to start the Clock in the middle of the night, so 0:00 will be at dawn.

Now, instead of 24 hours in a day, we will have 10 units to a Clock, because the point is the metric system. These units will be called Clicks (and now you're seeing where the minecraft hyperfixation affected things. Suck it up, the names are the best part honestly, wait for the ending). At ten units to what was previously 24, that means each Click is the same length of time as 2.4 hours, or 2 hours and 24 minutes.

That's a long unit, so we need to divide it further. These will be our minute equivalents for the system. These units will be called Tocks, and there will be 100 of them in each Click. This equates 100 Tocks to 144 minutes, or 1 Tock to 1.44 minutes (or 1 minute and 26.4 seconds, for those of you counting).

Clearly, we still need one more small unit for small amounts of counting - equivalent to seconds. Once again since this is metric based, there will be 100 units per Tock. These smallest units are Ticks. A Tick is worth .864 of a second - nearly the same when you're counting in your head, given that the speed at which a person pronounces "One Mississippi" already varies a person's personal perception of a second's length. I recognize that officially, seconds are based on the length of time it takes some certain type of isotope to go through a decay cycle, but let's be honest, that was just a way to standardize something completely arbitrary. They can pick a different isotope for a Tick.

So, the new system is as follows:

100 Ticks -> 1 Tock, 100 Tocks -> 1 Click, 10 Clicks -> 1 Clock

Ticks, Tocks, Clicks, Clocks.

LET'S GO.

[/87 In case anyone wasn't aware, this is

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Mrs. Claus opens "The Year Without a Santa Claus" by claiming the eponymous year took place "before you were born". Seeing as the movie was released in 1974, this means the year must have been before then.

Bounding this on the lower end is the presence of ice hockey - mentioned by Heat Miser - and the use of telephones. Ice hockey was invented in 1875, while Alexander Graham Bell built the telephone in 1876, meaning the year must post-date these. These figures give a range of approximately 100 years during which Santa may have taken his holiday.

Yet, narrowing this further is the presence of a December calendar counting the 1st to a Wednesday. Between 1876 and 1974, only the Decembers of 1880, 1886, 1897, 1909, 1915, 1920, 1926, 1937, 1943, 1948, 1954, 1965, and 1971 started on a Wednesday.

But still this can be narrowed further.

When Santa set out that Christmas Eve, we see what appears to be an almost full Moon in the sky. Within the years listed, only 1920 had a full Moon on Christmas.

Ergo, 1920 was the year without a Santa Claus.

Vatican Miku... priest Miku...