‘I’ve Been Whipped Into Shape By Some Ruffians, So…’

Mutant with raining ham. A5, 2016.

Took a few bets. Watch a customer melt. Another passed a satsuma in a blue plastic bag over the counter from the end of a dry-grey flesh pipe and motioned ‘for you’. I said thank you. Began to peel. There was a live baby iguana inside. It bit the tip of my little finger clean off and dived into a hole in the skirting board behind the wires and glass eyes. I patched up the wound with betting slips and super glue, set fire to the shop and went home on the back of a tuna.

www.saatchiart.com/carpmatthew www.carp.bigcartel.com www.society6.com/carpmatthew

what have Ive done ahahha

Nameless and the Scientist; the Gates.

Oh myYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

Look, Bokuto-san is great, but he doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t even have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said ‘put on pants’ followed by a question mark.

Akaashi Keiji at some point of his life, probably (via incorrecthaikyuu)

ahaha im gonna die

omg keep going on

i can be romantic ok

notable lines from andy weir’s “the martian”

this made me laugh a lot more than it should’ve

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