Happy Holidays, Everyone!

I don’t think I can physically be sad over Techno when I know he’s invading Wilbur’s dreams just to call him a loser

Updated with the ingredients list and some other helpful tips!

Also contains a link to my new review: Otik’s Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes!

Yawning Portal Buttermilk Biscuits

While the inn’s undisputed main attraction is the cavernous portal that descends straight into deadly Undermountain dungeon, these famed biscuits are a close second. - Heroes’ Feast, p. 31

I’ve always wanted to make biscuits, but was never motivated enough on a Sunday morning to take the time to prep and clean my bread board to knead dough. So, it was a wonderful surprise  when I saw this no-knead recipe for biscuits in Heroes’ Feast!

Crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, these biscuits are so melt-in-your-mouth delicious that you’ll throw away any other recipe you have.  Whether eaten warm, at room temperature, or a day or two later, they are an amazing on-the-go breakfast snack that pairs well with any jam.

To really spice up your morning, try them with a side of Otik’s Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making these yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Keep reading

Awesome, let me know how it goes!

Halfling Oatmeal Sweet Nibbles

“Dense with oats, chocolate chips, and butterscotch, these diminutive cookies are perfect for halfling hands… and the stomachs of everyone.”- Heroes’ Feast, p. 128

Whether you’re looking to make tasty treats for yourself or something sweet for a bake sale - cookies are the ultimate go-to. With so much deliciousness packed into something that’s simple to make, they’re the perfect choice!

The chocolate-butterscotch chip cookies from Heroes’ Feast will knock your socks off when you try them! Served at room temperature, these little guys are the perfect combination of crunchy on the outside and soft, chocolaty goodness on the inside.

They’re also the perfect addition to any lunchbox! Their small size makes them easy to nibble on and easier to share! So, why not impress friends, both old and new, with a batch of these bad boys? They’re sure to be a hit!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Hero’s Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Keep reading

none pizza with left beef became 10 years old a few days ago...

Sorry no it hasn't

"im owned" is both the saddest and funniest way for techno to tell his friends he won't make it

Bruschetta Grilled Cheese

You're welcome.

Welcome to the only recipe for grilled cheese ever. 

Don’t like tomatoes? Doesn’t matter. Get lost in the sauce of basil, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and cheese.

I don’t remember who thought of this first, me or my housemate, so I'm giving us shared credit for this invention. All I know is that we were hungry, had bruschetta mix left over from the night before, and are both apparently geniuses.

Now, enough talking, onto the recipe.

Prep time: 15 mins         Cook time: 15 mins*         Overall: 30 mins

* Can be longer based on if you want to marinate the mix or how many you want to make.

Ingredients:

1 dry pint (312 g) grape or cherry tomatoes, diced

4-5 fresh basil leaves, chopped

4-5 large cloves garlic, finely chopped

4 tbsp. (60 ml) balsamic vinegar*

Salt and pepper, to taste

Sourdough bread, sliced into sandwich slices**

Butter

Mozzarella or Swiss cheese slices

* Can vary based on how much dipping sauce you need.

** I used Vienna style sourdough bread for aesthetics but any style works for this as long as it's the thickness of a sandwich slice.

Add the diced tomato, basil, and garlic to a medium-sized mixing bowl (top-left).

Then, add the balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper to taste (top-right). 

NOTE: You’ll want to add more balsamic vinegar depending on how many sandwiches you’re making so that everyone has dipping sauce!

Mix everything together until all of the tomatoes have been coated in balsamic vinegar.

NOTE: You can totally eat this mix right away, but leaving it to marinate overnight gives extra depth to the flavour!

Heat a large, non-stick pan over medium heat. While it heats, butter two slices of the sourdough bread on one side.

Place one of the sourdough slices butter-side down in the pan once you can start to feel the heat radiating from the pan. Immediately add the cheese slices (top-left).

Add some of the bruschetta mixture on top of the cheese once you hear the butter start to sizzle (top-right). Make sure to leave as much liquid in the brushetta bowl as possible so it doesn’t make the bread too soggy!

NOTE: Definitely add the cheese before the mix. I’ve tried making this and adding the mix before the cheese and it just makes the bread soggy while you’re waiting for it to toast in the pan.

Add the top slice of bread butter-side out once you’ve added the bruschetta mix (top-left) and carefully flip the sandwich.

The structural integrity of these bad boys isn’t so great at this stage, so you’ll want to hold onto the top slice of bread until the last moment while you flip.

Repeat the flipping process until both sides are a nice golden brown (top-right).

TIP: To add some extra flavour to the bread, lightly drizzle both slices with some of the liquid from the bruschetta mix as they toast. Only do this once they’ve toasted for a bit on each side though or it’ll just make the bread soggy!

Now you’re ready to enjoy the best grilled cheese ever! Don’t forget the sauce!

As a side, I’ve found that carrots are a nice veggie snack to go with these since their sweetness compliments the sweetness from the tomatoes.

NOTE: I’ve found the bruschetta mix can be kept up to three days in a tupperware in the fridge before the flavour becomes just a little too overpowering.

Elven Marruth

“Sometimes reductively referred to as “root pies” by dwarves and humans, marruth are incredibly hearty closed-faced canapés that are filled with spiced and herbed mashes of vegetables (carrots, potatoes, and carrots) and then lightly baked in a flaky, buttery crust.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 64

Eating seasonal foods is a popular option because it helps local growers, tastes fresher, and makes you feel more connected to the season. Now, this is all well and good if you live in a climate with longer or all-year growing seasons; but what can you expect to be growing when you’re knee-deep in snow?

Believe it or not, there are winter seasonal vegetables! (rip fruit, you’ll be missed until spring)

Elven Marruth from Heroes’ Feast is a great use of hardy winter-season produce. The small pastries make for a great snack alongside a warm bowl of soup or, thanks to their nutritious filling, a great meal on their own!

These small pastries also hold a special place in my heart for being the first recipe I ever made from Heroes’ Feast (alongside Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread on p. 93)!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins + pie crust, if making                 Cook: 2h 30 mins

Total: 2h 45 mins

Ingredients:

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped*

1 small Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped*

2 cups (300 g) packed finely chopped green cabbage*

3 tbsp. (44 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme, plus 1 ½ tbsp. (4 g) picked whole thyme leaves**

¾ tsp. (4 ml) soy sauce

¼ cup (4 g) chopped fresh dill

All-purpose flour for dusting

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies, thawed if frozen

1 egg

* To cut down on prep time, roughly chop the onion, carrot, and cabbage and then process them together in a food processor. You’ll need about 15 pulses get them all finely chopped.

** To pick the whole thyme leaves, pinch a stem of thyme and run your fingers down the opposite way the leaves are pointing.

First, preheat the oven to 375℉ (190℃) with the racks in the upper-middle and lower-middle of the oven. Line two large rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick (silicone) liners.

Then, in a bowl, combine the onion, potato, carrots, cabbage, and olive oil and toss to coat the vegetables with the oil (top-left). Add ½ tsp. salt and a few grinds of pepper and toss to distribute (top-right).

Transfer the mixture to one of the prepared baking sheets, spreading it into a thin, even layer (set the bowl aside) (top-left).

Roast the vegetables on either rack until tender, 25 to 30 minutes, stirring and turning the vegetables two or three times (top-right).

NOTE: I misread the instructions so I spread the mixture over both sheets.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven, add the chopped thyme, and stir to incorporate it. Spread out the mixture and allow to cool to room temperature for about 20 minutes.

Leave the oven on for more baking and return the cooled veggies to the now-empty bowl. Stir in the soy sauce, dill, ¾ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. Adjust the seasoning as necessary, and set aside until needed.

If making the filling ahead of time, turn off the oven, transfer the cooled mixture to a tupperware, and put it in the fridge until needed.

Replace the parchment paper on the baking sheet or wash the non-stick liner and return it to the baking sheet. Have a small bowl of water handy.

Dust a large piece of parchment paper or a clean work surface with flour. Working with one ball of homemade pastry at a time, or one sheet of store-bought pastry, roll the dough into a 12-inch (30 cm) circle (top-left).

Sprinkle half of the whole thyme leaves evenly over the pastry, cover with a piece of parchment paper, and roll lightly to help the thyme stick (top-right).

Flip the pastry over so the thyme leaves are on the bottom, and set aside. Repeat with the remaining pastry and remaining whole thyme leaves.

With a 4-inch (10 cm) round biscuit or cookie cutter, cut at least six circles out of each pastry round.

TIP: To keep the pastry as chilled as possible for maximum ~flakiness~ while baking, work with and cut out circles from one ball of pastry at a time. Place each cut circle on a plate covered with cling film and put in the fridge until needed.

Keep the scraps from the first dough ball in the fridge and combine with the scraps from the second dough ball. Roll out the combined scraps for extra circles.

NOTE: My pie crust recipe gives quite a bit of dough, so you’ll end up cutting out way more than the six asked for by Heroes’ Feast.

Working with as many of the pastry circles as you feel comfortable with to keep the dough chilled, place 1 ½ tbsp. (one slightly rounded tbsp.) of the vegetable mixture in the center of each round, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge.

Working with one piece of pastry at a time, moisten the edge of the pastry circle and fold over the pastry over the filling to make a half-moon shape. Press out any trapped air, press the edges firmly to seal, and crimp the edges using a fork to secure the seal.

Transfer the crimped pastries to a separate plate and keep in the fridge until ready to cook.

Repeat with the remaining pastry rounds and filling.

Once all of the pastries are ready, transfer them onto the prepared baking sheets.

In a small bowl, beat the egg with 1 tbsp. water and brush the tops and sides of each marruth with the mixture (top-left).

Bake until the marruths are light golden brown and crisp, about 25 minutes, rotating the sheets 180 degrees and switching racks halfway through baking (top-right).

Set the baking sheets on wire racks, cool the pastries for about 5 minutes, and serve hot.

NOTE: Despite the recipe only being supposed to make 12, I’ve always gotten somewhere between 18-22 marruths from the filling.

NOTE: You’ll notice the BIG marruth I’ve made on the tray. I was trying to see if I could make a larger version of this recipe since I’d made smaller ones of the Hand Pies (p. 21). However, the consensus was that the smaller ones were better. Expect 4-5 more marruths than shown if not making the big one.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. I’m usually not a huge fan of vegetable-based dishes, but these veggie turnovers are awesome. I’ve made them for weekend lunches and many a movie night and they’re always a massive hit!

The vegetables really work together with the soy sauce and herbs to create a great flavour with a texture reminiscent of a spring roll. If you’re looking for a more savoury turnover, this one’s for you.

MAKE SURE TO EAT THEM WARM though. It might just be me, but they don’t really work if they’re any colder than room temperature.

I would also recommend making the filling and pie crust on one day and assembling them the next day. It makes the cooking time a lot less daunting and not eat up your free time :)

P.S. You can make these for someone who doesn’t like onion by leaving it out. I’ve made them like this before and they said they were great!

I'm just interested in this. Pls reblog for a bigger voting block.

hey i was caramelizing your boyfriend and he uh. he stuck to the pan. yeah i didn’t deglaze it enough and he’s really burnt on there. i mean we can soak him for a while and see if we can scrape him up but i’m not optimistic. sorry.