🚨 We Need Your Kindness To Survive 🚨

please stop associating the term neurodivergent with JUST autism and adhd. like please. there are so many ways to be neurodivergent and it’s not fair to assume that it’s just about autism adhd.

Had a dream last night about a gravity falls game where you play as young Stanley having to sneak around and lie to stay out of trouble with Filbrick. It wasn't really a horror game but it had a lot of horror game-like mechanics and there was a general sense of discomfort the entire time.

The only quest I can remember is one where Stanley gets a bad report card while Stanford gets a good one. Filbrick is out doing business until tomorrow so you have until the morning to try and make it look like you got good grades. There's an option to use white out on Stanford's card while he sleeps and write your name instead.

You could also get future readings from mom, who would give hints on what will happen to you next so you can start setting up lies and stealing in advance instead of scrambling to cover yourself last minute. (If you could figure out what the readings were hinting at. They got progressively more vague as the game went on, going from "I hear" and "I see", to "I feel")

You didn't get to see what happened when Filbrick caught him, it just cut to a game over screen. You could be caught and sent to your room three times before this happens (which ends the quest you're on. Because you failed to lie well enough). There is no way to win. The game would just keep going with scenarios until you lost or gave up

There was a vending machine on the board walk that had warped reflections in the glass that corrected itself when you looked at it head-on

Shoutout to all the children of parents that are abusive one way or another that sat their parents down and watched a movie that was a clear plea for those parents to realize that you needed them to be more of a parent and not an abuser. Sorry if it failed and congrats if it changed something if anything. Y'all did a good job speaking out even if it wasn't your voice speaking!

---

This potato better bring me a golden potato.

This was posted 2 years about but this is my exact process when going through books and information, it all ends up in a dump in some notes app or sticky note annotation.

happy 2nd anniversary to one of the weirdest online experiences I've ever had

do you love the color of the christmas eve fat danton? dec. 24 2021 - dec. 24 2023

Very late but that second to last paragraph is too relatable my gods. They really captured that dread and constant nerve of never actually being alone. Never having a single breath be without the anxiety of what could come if you fucked up or accidentally fell into the same room as a mind reader that somehow heard everything you were thinking and would relay it to whatever person you wanted to have hear it the least. This movie traumatized me in a good way.

Beau is Afraid is the movie I have been waiting for

!Spoilers Ahead! *LONG POST*

TW: Child Abuse, Gaslighting, Narcissistic Abuse, Strangulation, Discussions of Severe Anxiety

Like many people I knew Ari Aster as the guy who made Hereditary and Midsommar. Weird and trauma focused horror and that is definitely what Beau is Afraid is classified as, but it is nothing like his previous films.

To summarize, Beau is afraid starts off with Beau meeting his therapist (well it literally starts with Beau being born but i digress) and here we learn that Beau has a severe and crippling anxiety disorder. From the moment Beau starts talking about his mother I knew exactly what this movie was going to be about(though i don’t think anyone could guess the plot). We see that he is planning to visit his mother the next day because it’s the anniversary of his fathers death. Due to unforeseen circumstances Beau oversleeps and as he is rushing his keys get stolen out of his door along with his suitcase. Beau calls to tell his mom just wanting to tell her what’s happened and as she began to speak I got immediately triggered. You can see him sink into a shell of himself as she tries to make him feel guilty for thinking he should stay at home since someone has access to his apartment. She hangs up on him and Beau begins to lose it a little bit.

A lot of things domino fall and this leads to Beau getting locked out of his apartment (this also leads to the first time we see Beau experience something i’ve never seen so perfectly portrayed in a film. executive dysfunction. and it happens multiple times, he simply freezes in place even though he knows he should move. Part of it is definitely his anxiety as he is afraid to move because thats a decision and he doesn’t want the responsibility of what comes after a decision)and learning that his mother was killed by a falling chandelier. Then we see him get hit by a car. He ends up in the care of a family and long story short he has to run from them and ends up in the woods with a theatre troupe.

This is important because we learn that Beau’s biggest dream is to simply have a job and home of his own with a family that loves him. That’s his perfect future, but even as he’s seeing it playing out his kind can’t help but conjure up the worst case scenarios. We also see it repeated here that Beau can’t have kids because he can’t have sex because of a genetic heart murmur that killed his father. After Beau is separated from the theatre troupe he makes his way to his mothers house(though he should have been healing after being hit by a car and being stabbed his ONLY CONCERN was his mother not being humiliated by not being buried). When he sees her body he isn’t at peace yet but he lays down and gets his first night of good rest in days. When he wakes up he is greeted with his old friend Elaine who asked him to wait for her and he did. Long story short, Beau and her have sex. He is under the direct impression he is going to die when this happens.

But he doesn’t. However, Elaine does. He is rightfully terrified and cowers in fear until the music Elaine was playing suddenly shuts off and he looks up to find none other than his mother staring back at him. She faked her death to get him home and then tries to turn this on Beau saying he couldn’t wait for her to die, when Beau admits he knew she was alive because of the birthmark on the hands on the body. But she’s not done. Out of the shadows steps Beau’s therapist as his mother begins playing a recording of one of his sessions where Beau admits reluctantly that he felt his mothers love was conditional. Since he feels like he has nothing to lose he chooses to finally confront his mother about the dream he has where he sees an identical version of himself ask about his father because Beau isn’t brave enough and he asks where his father is.

His mother takes him to the attic from the dream and tells him to go up there telling him it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. There Beau meets his twin brother and his father(it’s a lot more batshit than this but that’s the gist of it). He begs to go back down and his mother finally lets him and he LITERALLY KISSES HER LEGS telling her he’s sorry. But she’s still not done. She goes on a whole tirade about how her mother blamed her for her mothers mistakes completely missing how she’s doing the same to Beau. She continues to berate him until she finally says what she means. She hates Beau. And at that point Beau puts his hands around her throat, strangling her. He eventually comes to his senses and lets her go, shocked at his own actions, but the damage has been done, she collapses and dies.

Beau leaves the house the look of shock frozen on his face and he reaches a motorboat on his mothers private little beach. He starts the motor and begins to drive the boat towards a cavern. For the first time the whole movie Beau seems like he might no longer be afraid. Until the motor mysteriously sputters and here’s where shit gets VERY REAL. SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE GO WATCH IT BEFORE CONTINUING.

Beau is sitting in darkness for a few seconds and suddenly this cavern is flooded with light and he sees no, it’s not actually a cavern at all. It’s a stadium filled with people. They are all watching him. Through his (and the audiences) confusion a voice booms from a microphone. When Beau finds the source he is shocked to see that it is coming from a man on a mini stage high in the stadium sitting next to his mother. From a giant 4 sided jumbotron video plays of moments from Beau’s life dating back to when he was NINE. YEARS. OLD. All of of which is taken out of context. Beau’s only “defense” is a shitty lawyer who has yell because he wasn’t given a microphone and even when he is heard and things his lawyer says are reasonable his mothers lawyer simply writes it off and moves onto the next thing he’s “done wrong”. (To me this represents all of the times Beau tried to reason with his mother and make her see his side before he just had to succumb to her will for survival, because you can’t reason with a narcissist.) When his defense is literally thrown from his stage and dies on a steep rock Beau is left to defend himself. Through his anxiety and fear he still tries to make them see his side, but Beau is found to be guilty. He never really loved his mother, he was a manipulative child who took from her and never gave anything back.

As this is all coming to a close the motor on the boat begins to flame and the boat begins to sink. Beau is begging, pleading, screaming, for his mother as she watches him in distress. As the entire arena of people watches him struggling and does nothing. We can see the exact moment Beau succumbs to his fate, he says nothing and for the first time in the whole film his shoulders droop. All of his anxiety is gone. He knows his mother won’t help him, that no one will. And the look that crosses his face is one I understood so deeply. One of anger that he dedicated his life to this woman, one of realization that he couldn’t trust anyone, one of sadness that he was truly alone. And I relate to that so deeply.

I remember people talking about the relationship between Joy and Evelyn in Everything Everywhere All at Once and while I definitely relate to their story somewhat there was something missing and I didn’t know what it was until I saw Beau is Afraid.

On the one hand there’s the constant twisting of Beau’s actions that is particularly triggering to me. Him living in one of his mothers apartment buildings and using a card with her money is turned on him when for one thing the apartment is shitty and he is constantly in fear for his life. Number 2 the card was given to him by her to use, because Beau is literally agoraphobic because of HER ACTIONS. He can’t hold down a job even if he wanted to. His whole life is his therapist and his home. I find it so strange that mothers like this will stifle any interest their child has that falls outside of what they want for them and literally block them from opportunities to advance, but then get upset when their kids aren’t able to function on their own as adults.

But that’s not the main thing that stuck out to me and made me realize I had been carrying this massive weight with me I couldn’t explain.

This ever present fear I felt living with my mother that just never left. This feeling that she was always watching me even when I wasn’t with her and that I couldn’t trust anyone because they would turn them against me eventually. That I couldn’t say bad things about her because the words would find their way back to her. When I was actively going to therapy I would triple check my phone to make sure I didn’t accidentally dial her and she could every word I was saying. That’s how terrifying it feels and I’ve never seen that captured on screen. Tears were streaming down my face as I watched Beau’s cries be ignored and as people just let him die. In the silence of the theater I simply stared at the place Beau had been and thought “you have to leave, you have to get out.”

!End of Spoilers!

It’s a great movie and I think you should definitely go see it if you have 3 hours to spare. I’ve personally seen it twice and I relate so much to Beau it’s kinda scary. Sorry for this long post I wonder what anyone who saw it thinks though, i’d like to hear new perspectives. Now time to watch Queen Charlotte for something lighter 😭

It's a love hate relationship for me towards the fella, he was such a contradictory yet understandable person and as a neurodivergent person I found some serious similarities between him and people like me that fall under the category.

He wasn't some knight in shining armor but he is owed some due respect that I personally think The Great didn't do a good job at portraying even though they openly and I will admit pretty hilariously admit to not following the exact history as well as they could.

He had faults but it's important that people understand that neurodivergent people and royal who when where and whys have been demonized and negatively viewed throughout history. Especially to show favor and disfavor that would hopefully turn people's opinions willy nilly, Richard III of England is a good example of someone in history that was framed in bad light for political gain and what not.

We'll never really know because at the end of the day, he's dead and buried. But there's such an insane amount of assumptions around him that do more negative than positive when he himself didn't even want the title. There's always the annoying "They were a child" take but in his case, it's true. People's forget that most royals WERE young and if you haven't lived their life or a life similar you can't really understand the kind of damage someone takes going through some heavy weight like that and what all comes with it. He was orphaned too young and then brought up to be king of a country he didn't even want to commit to entirely. There's the theory that he was an age regressor and we can't really prove it but I think it has a fair standing. And if it isn't true, hey, adults can enjoy things people see as childish plenty.

It really sucks that in shows like The Great and so many more period dramas that the faces of historical figures are done such disservices by making them one dimensional people when there's too many dimensions to count. And besides, people sadly wouldn't be too interested in watching a show about a "Hideous" boy turned immature ruler along with his wife who was equally done as dirty as him and unprepared as him. Who's really good for a throne anyways?

Anyways, that's my rant and there's plenty I didn't cover and probably don't know anything about but it definitely rubbed me wrong that so many people don't actually look enough to scratch off the pure villain role he's been dealt.

Edited bit: He was a grown man yes again, there's no denying that. And I wouldn't even try to deny that.

Peter The Third of Russia, in my book, was somehow neurodiverse.

For the people who know him from the show ‘The Great,’ I do not like how that show portrayed him. From my research, he was less of an immature party boy, and more an awkward man who fully admitted he was not king material that happened to enjoy toys. Also, I could not find any reliable sources saying Peter abused animals, and, in fact, apparently some of the incidents described didn’t make a lot of sense when you look at the time period. (Pet bears were illegal in Russia when Peter supposedly shot his.)

Quick moral to the story: adults are allowed to own, collect, and play with toys, and still be mature people.

Are you a registered member too?

beau is afraid is uncanny in separating who understands or has experienced cPTSD and who has not because those who have not think beau is just irrationally anxious and “too afraid to live his life”. meanwhile those with cPTSD are like um he actually was abused emotionally/mentally/physically (medications)/sexually/financially his entire life and has learned pattern recognition but go off i guess? like these are the same people who think once someone is 18 they have full control over their lives, so they don’t understand why disobeying a parent might result in homelessness which may result in disabling illness which may result in death lolol. they can’t put those chains together because they weren’t constantly abused and punished. they’re the same people who don’t get why gypsy rose didn’t just “tell the police” (even tho she did try that).

another scene i particularly liked was the mother screaming at beau for not making decisions. for needing clarity or asking questions. reminds me of my entire autistic childhood and adults yelling at me. still makes no sense.

All 179-244 (or so) codes that were found so far (no spoilers)

Note: As far as I'm aware if you input any word after selling your soul to Bill and press the knob you'll get the same result. I still think it's important to highlight the ones that didn't have any result once you imput them normally the day the website updated (AUDIOLOG, BUBBLES, CLEAR, CONTRACT, SMALL) these may have been just an error since it has been fixed since then

#

3466554

29121239168518

333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611

A

ABUELITA

ADASTRAPERASPERA

ALEX HIRSCH / ALEX / HIRSCH

AM I BLANCHIN

ANSWER

AXOLOTL

B

BAAAA

BABY / BABY BILL / LALALALALA / MOMMY / DADDY

BILL / BILL CIPHER / CIPHER / ILLB / LLIB REHPIC / REHPIC

BLACK SHEEP

BLANCHIN / BLANCHING / BLANCH

BLENDIN

BLIND EYE

BOOBERRY

BURN SIDE

BURNED INSIDE

BYE GOLD

C

CAESAR ATBASH VIGENERE / MULTILEVELMARK

CARD

CARYN

CIPHERTOLOGY

CLONE / TYRONE / PAPER JAM

CONSPIRACY

CRAY CRAY

CRYPTOGRAM CODEX

CURSE WITTEBANE

CURSED

D

DEATH

DEER TEETH

DESTRUCTION IS A FORM OF CREATION

DIONARAP

DIPPER

DIPPY FRESH

DISCO GIRL / BABBA

DISNEY / MICKEYMOUSE

DISPENSE MY TREAT

DIVORCE / BREAKUP

DORITO / NACHO / CHIP

DUCHESS APPROVES / THE DUCHESS APPROVES

DUCKTECTIVE

E

EASTER EGG

EMMALINE BUTTERNUBBINS

EUCLID / SCALENE / SCRIMBLES

EUCLYDIA

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES

F

FAMILY MATTERS

FBI / CIA / NSA

FILBRICK

FIXINIT1

FORD / SIXER / STANFORD

FORDTRAMARINE

FORGET THE PAST

FUCK / SHIT / BITCH / SLUT / SEX

FUCK YOU ALEX

G

GIDEON

GIFFANY

GLASS SHARD BEACH

GLOBNAR

GOD / HELP ME / SAVE ME / FRILLIAM

GOODNIGHT SALLY

GRAVITY FALLS

GREBLEY HEMBERDRECK

GUN / THE GUN

H

HAROLDS RAMBLINGS

HECTORING

HEY NERD

HISTORY

HOLOGRAM

HORROR / CREEPYPASTA / ANALOG HORROR

HOTXOLOTL

HOW WILL I DIE / WHEN WILL I DIE

I

IM STILL ON YOUR MIND

IRREGULAR

IS HELL REAL

IS THERE AN AFTERLIFE

J

JOURNAL 1

JOURNAL 2

JOURNAL 3

JUST BLEND IN

JUST FIT IN

K

KINGS OF NEW JERSEY

KOOK

KUBRICK

L

L IS REAL 2401

LIAR LYRE

LIES

LIFE

LOVE / BOYFRIEND / LONELY

LOVE YA BRO

M

MABEL

MASON

MATH / GREECE / SHAPES / GREEK / PLATO / GEOMETRY

MCGUCKET / FIDDLEFORD / OLD MAN MCGUCKET

MEOW / MEOW WOW

MONSTER

MORALITY

MOUNTAIN DONT

MYSTERY

MYSTERY SHACK

N

NAITSUAF

NO

NOT A PHASE

NOTHING

O

OCCURREMUS ITERUM

OH YES THEY BOTH

ONE EYED KING

OROBOROUS

OWL TROWEL

P

PACIFICA

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN

PEAK

PINATA

PINES

PLATINUM PAZ

PORTAL

Q

QUESTION

R

R34LITY

RAT

REALITY

RIDDLE

ROBBIE

RUBBERHOSE

S

SCARY / SPOOKEMUPS / SPOOKY

SCIENTOLOGY

SEASON 1 / SEASON -1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEVEN EYES

SEVERAL TIMES

SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA

SKELETON

SKIBIDI / FORTNITE / ELON / CRYPTO / DOGE / GYATT / RIZZ

SOMETHING

SOOS

SORRY

STAN / STANLEY PINES / STAN PINES / STANLEY

STOD EHT TCENNOC

SUCK IT MERLIN

T

TAD STRANGE

TANTRUM

THE BOOK OF BILL / BOOK OF BILL

THE DUCHESS APPROVES

THEORY / MATPAT

THERAPRISM

THEYLL SEE / THEYLL ALL SEE / I SEE

TINSEL SNAKE

TITANS BLOOD

TJECKLEBURG

TOBY DETERMINED

TORTURE MENTALLY

TOURIST TRAP

TRIANGLE

TRIGONOMETRY

U

UNIONMADE

UNIVERSE

UNREALITY

V

VALLIS CINERIS

VIRUS

W

WADDLES

WEIRD

WEIRDMAGEDDON

WELL WELL WELLBEING

WENDY

WHICH RELIGION IS RIGHT

WHO ARE YOU

X

XGQRTHX

XYLER / CRAZ

Y

YES

YOU CANT KILL AN IDEA

YOURE INSANE

Will update if more are found