You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right
“Welcome to the restaurant!”
𝓒𝓡𝓨𝓑𝓐𝓑𝓨. toji fushiguro.
pt.two for am i baby.
ᰔᩚ . . . 7.1k. fem!reader, lowercase intended, relationship building, baecation, outside sex, fluff, overstim /multiple orgasms, spanks, oral ꒰ f. ꒱, masturbation, hair pulling, domestication, size difference, daddy kink srry not srry, squirting, intimacyyy, sub / dom, alcohol consumption + heightened pleasure, unprotected, marathon sex lawd, pet names ꒰ baby, angel, girl ꒱, shyness bc toji’s intimidating, rough sex, small asphyxiation kink, dacryphilia, praise, minors aren’t welcomed! reblogs & comments are appreciated!
꒰ 𝑚𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑎’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒 ! ꒱ . . .yall i put my foot into this pls love meeeeeeeeee.
“where the fuck did it go?! toji, oh my god!”
this was the last thing you needed to start off your vacation, being swallowed by a fucking eight-foot snake. while walking through the thick forest of the island the two of you resorted, you and toji decided to start the early afternoon off by gathering fresh fruits and vegetables for brunch. the sunlight barely peeks through the leaves of the large trees surrounding you, providing a cool shade from the hot temperatures. a rustling sound came from above halfway through your search, and low and behold, your eyes came into contact with an enormous viper coiled up in the tree with the damn bananas. your breath immediately catches in your throat as you clutch onto toji’s muscular arm, frightened by the sight. it’s clear you have a phobia he wasn’t aware of.
“if i knew you were afraid of snakes, i would've never agreed to this.”
a tiny screech from you makes the big man beside you invert his lips to keep down a laugh. it’s not funny that you’re scared, but the way you cling to him as if he’s supposed to choke slam the reptile cracks him up. “it’s not going to hurt you, babe. it’s in a tree.”
“how do you know that?! you see how it looked at me? i can’t see where it went.”
“i think it’s just minding it’s business. if it did want to eat you, i don’t blame him.”
your frown deepens as you stare at him. “you’re not funny.”
“i’m just saying you taste good . .”
“don’t make fun of meeee!”
“i swear i’m not. i’m trying to stay vigilant for you.”
just as toji finishes speaking, your gaze falls upon the snake again, your heart skipping a beat as panic finally sets in. you freeze, breath catching in your throat as you stare at the tan reptile in horror.
“t-toji . ." you stammer voice trembling slightly as you reach out to aggressively grab his arm, nails digging into his skin. “it’s there. .” you whisper, your eyes wide with fear as you point towards the creature. “oh my fucking gosh, it's right there!”
your frantic whisper draws toji to immediately react, his reflexes kicking in as he swiftly assesses the situation. the snake is indeed close by, it’s forked tongue flicking in and out as it tracks your movements slithering between branches, nearly camouflaging. without hesitation, toji wraps his arms around you, pulling your back against his chest and shielding you from potential danger. your eyes remain bulged, almost going into a state of shock.
“stay close to me. don't look at it,” he orders firmly, his voice deep and authoritative as he stands between you and the serpent. “let's go back to the villa.”
thankfully, toji managed to lead you back to the villa safely, the fear coursing through your veins such a pain. you hated those goddamn things. you wished they'd all go extinct.
a private villa in riviera nayarit, mexico, was one of the many dream destinations toji was willing to check off your list. surrounded by lush greenery teeming with wildlife and waters as blue as the sky. staying on a cliff top that overlooked the sea, open doors, daybeds on a terrace with a pool. the architecture and decor is stunning. high ceilings and ornate details. when you first arrived, a sense of awe washed over you, feeling like you were daydreaming. the room is filled with natural light, pouring in through the double sliding doors and shining onto the king-sized bed draped in silk sheets and velvet pillows. waves crashing against the shore creating a soothing background melody. it was truly the best gift you’d ever received.
he wouldn’t tell you the total of anything, simply because you didn’t have to worry. he offered to treat you and that’s exactly what he did. you didn’t know how to repay him. you weren’t the best at receiving expensive gifts. of course liking it, but feeling guilty after. he’d reassured you multiple times that he did it out of his own kindness, and because he likes you. a lot, clearly. your heart calmed down the moment you stepped back into the villa, wanting to cook to get your mind off of it. the only excursion he had booked today was an atv ride and a day out in the food market, so there was plenty of time to unwind.
“i need a shower,” he announces, nodding your head as you drop your fruits and veggies basket into the sink to prepare to wash them. toji drops his basketball shorts to the ground, pulling his black tee over his head until he's fully naked.
“i’ll just get started on brunch!”
you’d been craving a chicken cucumber salad, deciding to prepare that for the both of you since you know your diet is going to be shit from constantly eating out. you had to make a few things to keep your guts somewhat in shape. toji watches you in the kitchen, humming softly and bouncing in your spot as you turn your brain off. he couldn’t help but smile, this sight something he wouldn’t mind seeing every day. the weight of his footsteps is visceral, your body taking a screenshot when you feel his dick suddenly press against the curve of your ass, gasping when his arms wrap around you to rock the two of you side by side.
“come shower with me.”
“i, um . .” it's still so new being this intimate with someone who absolutely fucked the daylights out of you only a month ago.
coaxing you into taking this vacation with him to further get to know each other. he's been busy with work, and you've been panicking over picking outfits and being alone with him for an entire week. that night even after the cameras shut off, he fucked you a good two more times before saying his goodbyes the following morning. so since then it’s just been facetime calls or small pop-ups where he'd bring a bouquet of flowers and fruits. even send you dinner when your days are too long and you've worked your ass off to afford the luxury studio you reside in. after everything, he still intimidates you.
your chest begins to burn with anxiousness, gasping again when he lays open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his body practically swallowing yours from the significant size difference. his dick jumps against your backside, and you can’t help but moan from the feeling of his tongue gliding along your sensitive spot. his masculine scent enraptured you.
“i'm hungry.”
“mhm, so am i.”
you giggle lightly. “for food. i want food.”
toji takes the hint and releases you, taking a step back as he recounts the feeling of your erratic heartbeat against his arm. his steel gray eyes rake your body from head to toe before chuckling.
“you gotta week with me, baby. it's your decision to keep your legs closed if you want.”
“that a threat?”
“i didn't say that,” he smirks.
his heavy footsteps hit along the floorboards as he chuckles and makes his way towards the open bathroom. you distract yourself by prepping the ingredients for your meal. slicing cucumbers and red onions into a glass serving bowl. the wooden cutting board you chopped along echoed loudly with each cut, your mind fading to thoughts as you listen to the shower running.
he’s rinsing away any lingering traces of sweat and dirt as he lathered himself in soap, hot water cascading over his built frame. you try your hardest not to watch, the kitchen island you used to chop at your food directly facing the glass shower. his body confines such a large space. your eyes roaming over his broad shoulders and strong arms covered in droplets and dark ink making your mouth go dry involuntarily. shifting in your spot even as you recall the feel of him pressed against you. flashbacks hitting you altogether.
as toji continues to shower, he becomes increasingly aware of your attention on him, catching a peek to see you approaching where he stood. body moving without your say. he finds himself unable to fully repress the sensual pleasure that comes from being observed, dick swelling further as he realizes how intimate the situation has become. he lets out a soft groan, pushing deeper into the stream of water pouring down from above, trying to stay respectful to you.
he knows you've been nervous about having sex with him again, not entirely sure why considering he’s had you in every position imaginable. but he wasn’t one to pressure you into it. if you wanted him, you could take him. he didn’t care. booking this trip wasn’t about that anyways. he wanted to spend time with you and get to know you further because he caught feelings unintentionally fast. things like that usually don’t happen for him, so when it did, he acted quick to show that person that he’s worth having.
“don't just stare, get in here.”
a jolt of arousal flows through your body, hesitating for a moment before deciding to stop being a pussy. using your thumbs, you hook them within the elastic band of your skims shorts to slowly drag down your legs, discarding the matching top along with it. biting your bottom lip, you watch as toji’s eyes sharpen as he glares at you, skin bare, hair flowing beautifully around you in dark curls. the freckles cast along your t-zone and thick, pouty lips he needed in his mouth desperately. taking a step forward, the cold stones beneath your feet make you jump, needing to get closer to the water to feel the heat. the steam envelops you instantly, droplets of water clinging onto your skin like tiny diamonds, nipples hardening under the cool air blowing in from outside.
he goes to grab your face with both of his hands, moaning as he instinctively thrusts his hips forward, a squeak coming from you as his dick nudges against your mound. he groans, dark hair damp along his face, the water beating hard on his back as he bends to your level to aggressively connect your mouth with his. your eyes falter shut, gliding your lips to match his pace, toji pushing you up against the shower wall, the water streaming between where you two meet, kissing hard, almost suffocating as you gulp down the water. his hands are all over you, squeezing at your hips, then your ass to lift you closer so his dick slides between your thighs, brushing your clit.
“let's focus on showering,” you giggle nervously, trying to catch your breath and pull away, but a hand around your throat pulls you back.
“yeah, let's stop pretending.”
you whimper in his mouth as he goes to kiss you again, this time it’s more passionate. rushing his tongue over yours slowly as he grips at your hips, rolling his forward. he goes to take both of your wrists to pin them above your head, locking you still with one hand before he’s lowering his head to suck on your neck. tongue brushing your warm skin and following with hard kisses. the ache between your thighs pursuing, unable to control your hips from rocking, moaning pathetically. toji decides to press his advantage, moving his mouth to your chest where he fondles and puts your tits in his mouth, sucking with a heavy groan.
your body visibly trembles beneath his touch, and it only serves to drive him on further. he releases his mouth, and with one hand gripping your hip firmly, he reaches between your thighs with the other and starts stroking your puffy clit carefully at first, building up speed as he feels how wet you've become, soon slipping in his middle and ring finger to fuck you open.
“goddamn, girl. you’re so tight. and pretty,” he looks down at you pinned against the wall, a mixture of desire and dominance etched onto his face. toji knows that he's taken control of this situation, and he relishes in the power he has over you right now. arching shockingly into his touch, the sensation makes your stomach flutter.
“baby, no f-fair,” you stutter, crying out with your nails digging into his shoulders as you meet each of his powerful strokes with your own eager movements.
“how? you fuckin’ them back,” toji taunts with a smirk, rubbing against that sweet spot that instantly makes your nails dig into the back of his thick thigh. the squelch of your pussy echoes soundly in the area, fingers thick and fucking you good. clenching and keeping them deep within you.
toji brushes his lips over yours, giving you a rough kiss before grunting in your face, forehead against yours. “let me taste your pussy.”
you’ve come this far, so you might as well see it through. you nod your head in approval, trailing your hand up the side of his neck before brushing them through the damp coils of his hair, attempting to lower his face with need. he pulls you close to him by the backs of your thighs, taking a seat on the shower floor, your hand on top of his damp head to lower his face and gazing up at you with lidded eyes. lifting your right leg, he sets your foot on his shoulder, instantly dropping his mouth open to latch onto your throbbing clit as you roughly tug at his scalp.
his heavy tongue sweeps over your cunt with tenacity, jaw widening to suck you entirely into his mouth, your moans vibrating in his ears like broken symphonies. you hold his head still to shift your hips and fuck his face, his salvia mixing with your arousal as he slurps and pulls on your clit with his soft lips, releasing with a pop before he’s raising your thigh higher to sink his tongue into you. lapping up all the juices that have accumulated there due to your arousal. toji’s other hand reaches around to grip your ass cheek, pulling you even closer against him so that there’s no chance of escape.
his large frame takes up most of the space ensuring your safety, unworried of slipping. plus the rocks have pretty good support. he keeps your pussy firmly locked between his lips as he drops a hand to stroke his dick out of aching need, precum dribbling down its length. growling in pleasure, he takes his fingers to stuff back into you briefly, your gasps and whines make his dick jump as he uses your slick to lubricate his dick, gasping from the interaction. you’ve got him ridiculously turned on.
“t-toji, babe—g’na cum. tongue feels s’good,” toji’s throbs within his fist he pumps roughly as he moans into your pussy. you listen to his hand connect wetly with his thighs, whimpering from it all.
“good girl, give it to me,” his deep voice rumbles with fervor, tugging on his hair to anchor him in place so that he doesn't pull away from your cunt too soon. as he pounds into his palm relentlessly, toji’s eyes close tightly as he loses himself in the moment, letting out deep grunts of pleasure with each stroke.
you pant and gasp heavily, cumming in his mouth as he spanks you repeatedly, crying out his name and grinding on his face. body shaking from the intense orgasm he wrung out of you. it happens the same moment toji cums in his palm, groans overlapping yours as ropes of white splurt out and covers his knuckles. the view above him has his thighs tightening, your tits pressed to the glass wall making him stroke the head of his dick with a hiss, leaning his head back against the wall with awe.
“you’re so goddamn pretty,” he murmured with ragged breaths, looking up with half-lidded eyes filled with desire and submission.
𐦍
hours pass after your fun in the shower, both deciding to forget about the brunch you planned to make and getting dressed to head out to explore the community. it began raining pretty heavily, getting a call from the atv company stating that they weren’t allowing people to ride today, and ensuring that you could come tomorrow. you weren’t pressed about it, wanting to have a chill day with him anyways. it’s dark out, but colorful lights are bright as toji leads you through the maze of streets and vendors, pointing out different ranges of food and drinks along the way. you stop at various stands, trying street food and drinks together, sharing laughs and intimate moments amidst the chaos of the busy marketplace.
you reach up to grab on to toji’s arm, pulling yourself closer to his side as you weave through the lively atmosphere. you loved the feeling of being protected by such a big, strong man. especially in such a chaotic environment where anything could happen. you savor every moment of your adventure, soaking up the sights, sounds, and flavors of mexico. you feel like you’re living in a dream, surrounded by toji’s protection and endearment. you don’t know if he caught on to it, quite frankly you were the only person on his mind, but lots of women stared at the two of you with envy and jealousy. women eyeing toji’s muscular frame and towering presence. it makes you feel proud and possessive, knowing that everyone is envious of what you have.
"i love this," you whisper to toji, leaning against him for support as you navigate through the crowd toward your next destination.
he smiles down at you, brushing the side of your face with his big hand before kissing your forehead. the two of you find a nearby restaurant, deciding to sit outside since the weather was nicer after clearing up. he had ordered you a strawberry daiquiri, which you drank in under five minutes, ordering another one while he sipped on his whiskey. the two of you hold hands across the table as you search through the menu, music playing loudly in the background, your body moving in the seat to the beat, the liquor finally catching on to you.
“you’re such a damn lightweight,” toji shakes his head as he chuckles in enjoyment, watching you dance.
shaking your head, you giggle from the tipsy feeling you’re getting, staring lovingly into his eyes as you lean in closer. “they were sooo good though. i kind of want another one.”
“not until after you eat something. you only had churros and elote, sweetheart,” he protests, eyes skimming the menu. stomach leaning toward steak tacos.
“boo, you’re no fun!” you wave him off, attempting to break free from his hold until he’s using his strength to keep your palms interlocked, your body nearly yanking across the table from his strength, persistent on touching you.
toji grins, gently scratching the scar on the side of his mouth with his thumb. "mhm, you won’t be saying that when you’re whining about you being nauseous.”
“but you’ll take care of me, right, daddy,” the punctuation on the pet name had his jaw tightening, chuckling under his breath.
toji studies you, the curly updo you'd done exposing your round face so well, the baby blue of your strapless maxi dress accentuating your curves deliciously. the color radiating on your skin. white sandals on your bubble bath french toes. light makeup, only adding white to your waterline, dark liner on your full lips, and glitter over your matching blue eyeshadow and your body. you're truly his angel. toji rubs his thumb over the zodiac tattoo on your hand, lifting your hand to kiss your skin, smelling your vanilla scent.
“i always take care of you. you know that.”
your heart flutters at the gesture, feeling the blush in your cheeks.
"what? nothin' to say," he teases.
"shut it, i'm thinking," you pout.
"yeah? you thinkin'?" you screech when toji reaches around to grip the leg of your chair, holding on to his bicep while giggling wholeheartedly. he drags you to sit beside him, sliding his hand up the side of your soft face to bring it closer to his own.
"what are you doing," you whisper.
"taking care of you," he rubs the back of your neck soothingly before placing a rough kiss there, practically swallowing your neck.
he repeats on the other side before hovering his lips over yours, steel gray eyes intense before he wetly kisses you, the sound echoing between you two. you moan from the feel, the liquor making the feeling between your legs no better.
"so perfect," he mumbles, giving you one more kiss and pulling away. "you having fun, baby?"
"wha—huh?" you blink, his question coming random. the way he makes you feel is truly indescribable.
"the trip so far. its what you wanted, right? even with me?" it's serious the way he says it, wanting a genuine response.
"oh, yes, mhm hmm. of course i am. i really couldn't be more grateful."
"i know you're grateful, what i want to know is if you enjoy being with me," he clarifies.
his eyes are low as he stares at you as if he's nervous to hear what you say. he's the biggest teddy bear. you smile softly, running your fingers though his dark hair. "yes, toji—i do. love spending time with you a lot. and i think we've been connecting really well. you're really funny, and sexy, also so sweet, protective and all. just everything i want in a man, honestly. i’ve been having the best time here with you."
toji nods graciously. “i'm happy to hear that. you're an amazing woman, extremely beautiful with the biggest personality. and i’ve been enjoying myself as well. i see myself being with you.”
"awe, you're such a cutie patootieee," toji groans as you kiss all over his face with an exaggerated 'muah muah'.
"don't call me that."
"muffin baby? teddy bear? baby boo?"
"nah," he laughs hard, shaking his head.
there was an item on the menu for couples that seemed to be a tourist special. when the waiter came out, there was an assortment of carne asada tacos plated on a heart-shaped wooden board with red roses planted in the middle along with a singular candle. you gasp in awe, squealing as you clap and immediately pull out your phone to document the memory. you glow in happiness, and it makes his heart warm.
you equally enjoy your food, almost moaning after every bite, ordering more drinks, and laughing in each other’s faces. the later it got, the more people arrived, a few couples dancing together within the brick road to sensual tunes. your tummy is full. toji pays the bill before helping you stand from your seat, kissing your face before grabbing a glass of water and forcing you to sip some for balance.
“drink some, don’t argue,” he holds the straw to your pouty lips, not wanting the buzz to lay off. you in fact ordered another daquiri.
huffing, you wrap your lips around the straw, holding onto his arm as you stare up at him past your lashes. toji ignores the rush of heat that pools into his abdomen from the way you look at him, glancing between your tits where your necklace swings as you swallow your water down until the glass is empty.
"gotta pee," you grumble.
"mhm, let's go."
toji secures your hand and walks you to the women’s bathroom, standing outside of the door for your safety and privacy. when your done, toji comes in to wash his hands before the two of you head back out, the area bustling.
"c'mere," toji's voice is hoarse as he pulls you with him to the middle of the street along with the other couples, wrapping an arm around your waist to press you close to his chest while his other sits low on your back.
"you can dance?" you raise your brow, his hands sliding up underneath your arms to entwine your fingers in the air, both arms raised as he chuckles deeply from your stunned face.
“just follow the beat, dance on me.”
deciding to just be in the moment, you begin to roll your hips to the loud thump of the beat, his larger frame tugging you along in circles. toji begins humming and singing in your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and making your nipples unexpectedly harden beneath your dress. the alcohol in both of your systems making you equally sensitive. toji loses himself in you and the music, swaying gently.
“when the hell you learn spanish?” you say quietly, caught between embarrassment and arousal as his hands roam over your body sensually, moving closer to him and matching his movements.
“went to trade school in barcelona.”
as he continues to dance with you, toji's hands wander lower, subtly squeezing and massaging your ass over your dress. occasionally, he bites lightly on your neck or earlobe, leaving you gasping, face definitely hot. the sensation of his large palms gripping your ass makes you moan, arching your back slightly, pressing your breasts more firmly against his chest as you lose yourself in the rhythm of the music and the intoxicating closeness of embrace.
it wasn't anything out of the ordinary considering other couples were doing the exact same thing, the sensuality of touches and connection evident. your own hands slide up toji's muscular back tight in his black t-shirt, nails digging lightly into his skin as you cling to him, tilting your head to give him better access to your neck, a soft moan escaping as he nips and kisses the sensitive skin there.
you turn in his arms, grinding your ass back against him, hips swaying seductively to the rhythm. your hands reach back to grab hold of his thighs, pulling him even closer until there's barely any space between you. in that moment, you can feel the hardness of his dick on you, toji groaning in your ear, both of you desperate to leave at this point.
"let's head back."
everything happened so fast. toji called for a car and the two of you tried your absolute hardest not to be obnoxiously inappropriate in the backseat. literally grinding, unnoticeably to the driver, in your seat as he clasps your neck and kissed you, equally intoxicated.
“ima fuck you so bad,” toji grumbles as he kisses behind your ear, his heavy palm keeping your legs closed while he smooths his hand up and down.
you giggle almost helplessly, raving in his infatuation for you, feeling like lovedrunk strangers. the thrill of withholding your passion in the backseat of an uber in a foreign country felt scandalous. a breath of air is released from you once you step into your villa, toji guiding you up the stairs so you don’t slip. the quietness of your home gives you goosebumps, the sober part of you realizing that it really is just the two of you. swallowing, you attempt to lessen your anxiety by distracting your brain.
“ahh, come get meeee!” toji watches darkly as you screech loudly after removing your sandals, rushing out towards the terrace where the infinity pool resided, needing the fresh air since you felt so hot.
taking a seat on the sunlounger, you turn your back to the brooding, intimidating man. heart thumping in your chest from the ominous silence as he approaches you. it felt like a replay of your first time. smiling like an idiot when you smell his cologne, staring ahead at the trees that blow in the warm air, the scent of the ocean comforting. his fingers graze your skin, and you try not to jump from his gruff voice directly by your ear.
“why you runnin’ from me?” toji stands up straight, pressing your back to him, feeling the fabric of his dark jeans on your skin along with the imprint of his dick. your mouth begins to water.
“told you to catch me,” you roll your neck back, whimpering when his hand goes to tighten around your throat, his body leaning over slightly to slide his hand down your chest, pulling down the top of your dress.
you whimper from the air blowing on your skin, perfume flowing and nipples perk. he wants you so damn bad. “nah, be honest, baby. you still nervous?”
you bite your lip from his harsh fondles at your tits, tracing down to your stomach while you heave.
“huh? answer me, ꒰♡꒱.”
“mhm,” you groan, face going hot, not wanting to answer. “it’s stupid.”
“what’s stupid?” now toji’s picking you up so your knees sit on the chair, keeping his chest against your back as he brushes his lips along your collarbone, leaving wet kisses that make you grind your ass back on to him.
“it’s just—” you pause, toji’s lips on your jaw as he pulls your dress up to your stomach, moaning when he digs his fingers into the flesh of your hips, snapping the fabric of your panties on your skin.
“just what, keep talkin’ to me,” you try to catch your breath, toji slowly pulling them down to the middle of your thighs just so he can touch your clit, a string of your juices disconnecting from the lace.
he kept his chin on your shoulder, letting you fall back into his hold while he reached to stimulate your clit, rough fingers being as gentle as possible as he rubbed your clit in circles, spreading your legs further, pleasure consuming you. your knees buckle momentarily, your sensitivity shockingly high.
“it’s scary,” you moan, dipping your hips low into his palm, his fingers collecting your slickness by sinking them into you, your hand coming to grip the wrist that’s moving as he slips in and out.
“what’s scary, angel?” as he’s fucking you knuckle deep with two fingers, guiding him as he does it while thrumming your clit with his thumb, you can hear the metal of his belt clink as he unravels the heavy leather.
“y-you—ah,” he goes to tangle his hand within your hair, creating a sturdy grip as he exposes your neck by pushing you down to arch your back.
toji slings his leg over the chair so he’s positioned right behind you, removing his fingers to trail up the side of your thigh and up to your hip where he squeezes then molds the flesh of your ass up to your waist.
“i need a straight answer, ꒰♡꒱.”
your thighs almost clamp shut in surprise from his dick rubbing in between, collecting the wetness within your folds, slowly rocking forward while keeping your head back by your hair. his mouth goes back on your throat, sucking and biting feverishly.
whining from his teasing, you go to close your legs to add pressure to your clit and to feel him better as he rubs your pussy with only his dick. a hard swat on your ass makes you pause, whimpering and grinding back with impatience. toji pulls himself off of you entirely, smacking your ass once again before he’s situating himself underneath you, your thighs on either side of his head with his eyes on yours. he hits you again. tearing the lace panties off from your thighs, too impatient to move you again just to remove them.
“c’mon, come tell daddy,” he’s pushing you to sit on his face, your dainty fingers tangling within the midnight tresses of his hair to snag.
blowing a raspberry, your hips stutter from his brutal kisses along your skin. planting open mouthed kisses along your inner thighs up to the side of your hips, his thick tongue tasting every sensitive part of you, besides the one you really needed him to. both hands coming up to squeeze at your chest as he licks and sucks right above your clit, tongue just barely grazing it. you were only making this harder for the both of you. he would’ve fucked you twenty minutes ago.
“babe,” it’s becoming too much for you, trying to force his face closer to your pussy, needing him desperately. “i just need you. more than i’ve ever needed anyone. it’s so—so different with you. you fuck me so good, and i like you so much it scares me.”
toji stares at you with visible arousal, that turns him on more than you’d ever know. placing his hand on your lower back, you arch forward, tits against the sunlounger and shoving you on his awaiting mouth. your gasp echoes in the night, listening to your slick drip on his tongue mixing his salvia with it as he rushes it along your pulsating clit. you cry, having a deadlock on the top of the chair while falling forward onto his face. his nose is smushed to your tummy, breathing hard as you ride his face drunkenly.
“ooo, shit daddy,” the squeals emitting from you are so cute he can’t help but spank you again, pushing your ass up to mold to your hips again so he can reach every part of your pussy, bouncing his head up and down, grunting in you. “mhmm, i love how you eat it, baby. love it.”
his lips wrap around your clit to suck hard, pulling her free and slurping you up all around, tongue eventually sliding into your warm hole where the sweetness intensified, only making him greedier.
“fuck, angel,” he sputters against your pussy, mouth enclosing repeatedly on your clit while he pushed your ass forward so you can properly fuck his tongue.
you lift your right leg to balance it beside his head, rotating your waist and inching further down on his tongue, eyes squeezing shut with your mouth agape. “toji—yesss. ooh, that’s it baby.”
a hiccup falls from you, whimpering as you grind on his face, feeling your orgasm approach. you push harder against him, encouraging him to go faster and deeper with his thrusts. he’s fucking you with his tongue like he’d fuck you for real. curling and dipping it deep, swallowing all of your cum. with trembling legs, you watch as he wraps his arm around your waist while holding your thigh to the side of his face, slightly sitting up to kiss sloppily at your pussy faster. jaw clenching the wider he dropped his mouth open to taste you, moaning roughly.
your toes curl as you cum in his mouth, unable to speak, only breathe after a few seconds of silent but heavy breathing. you cry out, fisting his black hair and rocking a few more times just to keep feeling his tongue on you.
“fuckin’ good girl,” toji gruffs, smacking your ass again before he's lifting up both of your weights, putting you back on your knees so he can crouch behind you.
he makes you lay fully on your knees, your cheek on the chair with your ass high up. holding on to either side of the furniture, you weakly smile up at him as he removes his jeans, placing one foot up as he comes behind you, kissing up your spine which makes you arch into your knees, shuddering.
“you’re such a crybaby, y’know that?” his buff right arm comes to lock around your neck, kissing your cheek before reaching for his dick, rubbing the tip up and down your slit and finally to both of your praise, sinking into you.
his enormous body looms above you, lowering himself on your ass, straddling your thighs and holding onto the edge of the lounge chair for extra balance. your whines are extremely loud, nails digging into his forearm that chokes you, his heavy dick fucking you deep.
“you’re so damn adorable, i love handling you,” with every thrust he’s grunting by your face, his sharp hips hitting the flesh of your ass, recoiling from every harsh pound. “did all that shit jus’ to tell me you like fuckin’ me. you like being ‘round me. i told you that shit earlier, angel.”
your pussy’s throbbing so badly for him, tiny squeals pouring from you as his thick dick engulfs you, toji fucking you faster the more noises you make. they drive him insane, driving his dick deep, strokes steady but rough. his big body trapping you beneath him, strong muscles encasing you.
“ooo, f—uck baby,” you gasp for air as toji tightens his grip around your neck, your vision going blurry, eyes rolling into the back of your skull from how good he’s fucking you right now. the minor strangulation courses through your body and aims right for your clit, his voice by your ear and his heavy drops making you lose your mind.
your hands claw at the fabric of the sunlounger, gripping onto it tightly as toji fucks you, dick sinking into your pussy over and over again. each thrust sends waves of pleasure rippling through your core, intensifying the sensations already coursing through your veins.
“let daddy know if he’s too rough.”
toji’s voice becomes more primal, his words becoming indiscernible as he focuses solely on driving his dick into your quivering pussy, breathing erratically.
“fuck no, want you rougher,” you grin sheepishly, slurring your words.
you love how rough he is with you, never holding back when he knows you really need it. begging for it will give it to you every time. every slap of skin on skin, every grunt and groan from toji sends another wave of ecstasy crashing through your body again, clenching and pulling on his dick as if he’d let go. toji hisses, releasing his arm from your neck to spank your ass.
“yes baby, yes yesyesyes —agh fuck.”
“yeaaa, that’s it, angel. keep cryin’. dick got you cryin’ so good. fuckin’ love that shit. mmmm.”
your gasps come out like weak shudders, lips quivering as you whine and scream.
“fuck, girl. you’re so fuckin’ needy,” toji is stunned by how sensitive you are. your cries are a surprise, yet he’s turned on. liquor turning you into the neediest girl.
toji bends down to give you his face, draping your arm around the back of his neck to keep his skin on your back, the prickles of heat comforting you. lips melding together in a desperate share of pleasure.
“fuck me more.”
toji manages to let out a chuckle, slipping his dick out to pull you down, laying you flat on your stomach while he hovers behind you.
"takin’ that shit like such a good girl, aren't you?”
he starts to move, his hips driving forward relentlessly, his balls slapping on your thighs with each powerful thrust.
“your dicks s’so big, baby,” you whimper, feeling his girth stretching your pussy wide open, “i can’t . . you’re fucking me deep.”
you bite your lip, trying not to scream too loud.
“unh uh, you was doin’ all that screamin’ before. don’t stop that shit, girl,” toji grits his teeth, rolling his hips faster, each stroke hitting your spot with precision.
the occasional muffled curse words slip out between bitten lips, squirting hard and with every clap of your ass back onto his veiny hips, you cover his abs with your slickness. your legs are shaking, tearing up as you cry and he refuses to let up his rough pivots.
“f-fuck, baby, you’re mine. you’re mine, daddy,” you declare, teary eyes scrolling back into your head from every harsh pound. nobody else can have him, you fucking refuse.
“am i yours?” he teasingly asks, sweat building up on his forehead, abdomen fluttering.
“yes . . you’re mine,” you whisper with a pout, teary eyes scrolling back into your head from every harsh pound.
"i don’t think so, girl,” toji murmurs, his voice disapproving. "doesn’t seem convincing enough.”
“please toji, i’m yours,” you beg, tears streaming down your face as he continues fuck you harder. “yours, baby. yours.”
your voice is barely above a whisper, words punctuated by gasps and moans as he fucks you senseless. you’re completely broken, utterly submissive to his will. toji laughs at your fervent declaration, feeling a sense of control, knowing you’ve completely given yourself to him. mind, body, and fucking soul.
"swear it then," his voice firm.
he pulls out briefly before holding your ass apart to slam back inside with harder force than before, fucking himself deeper time and time again. you’re sucking him in so good he can’t help but throw his head back, adam’s apple strong in his throat as he hums, patting the side of your ass to watch you consistently squirt.
“i swear!” you cried out, your voice breaking as he pounds into you, “i swear ‘m yours! ‘m yourss!”
"good fuckin’ girl," toji rasps, his voice dripping with lust. "now lemme hear you scream that shit.”
“o-ohh god, toji!” you scream, your voice echoing the surrounding area.
"that's right. want the whole fuckin’ villa to hear that pretty ass voice fucked out f’me,” toji growls, his voice low and menacing.
“fuck, toji!” you yell, voice raw and hoarse, entire body trembling harder than it ever has, legs going numb.
you’re close, so fucking close, and you want it—need it, desperately. “tojiiii."
“tell me what you need, angel.”
you arch your ass up to meet his rhythm, eager for more. toji grunts, picking you up to sit himself up on the chair, laying your back to his chest as he scoots down and holds you up by the backs of your thighs. your palms are flat on his chest behind you, tossing your head back as he fucks up into you, your tits bouncing roughly from every hard, greedy, steady pound.
“thank you, thank you.”
your words are punctuated by gasps and moans, toji stretching your pussy open around his girthy shaft. tears stream down your face as you cum for the final time, moaning and grinding your ass down when you notice toji’s getting weaker from rutting in you. his calloused hands are rough on your hips, grinding you back and forth as his eyes scroll back and he cums inside of you, panting heavily and leaning his forehead on your sweaty back.
“fuck me.”
toji kisses your back to soothe you, rubbing your stomach and gently laying you on his chest. he almost wants to laugh that you were drifting off to sleep, kissing your face before lifting you up to get you cleaned and put to bed.
THE MAN ACROSS THE STREET — SATORU GOJO
pairing — neighbour!satoru gojo x fem!reader
summary — when you inherited your grandparents' victorian home, you thought the biggest challenge would be the renovations. what you weren't prepared for was satoru gojo—your insufferably perfect neighbour with his perfect smiles and unexpected talent for home repairs. but maybe, just maybe, he's exactly the kind of renovation partner you need. because four seasons might not be enough to fix a century-old house, but it might be just enough time to fall in love—moment by moment, season by season.
word count — 14 k
genre/tags — home renovation AU, neighbours to lovers, slice of life, mutual pining, slow burn, domestic fluff, idiots in love, misunderstandings, found family, tension, happy ending, gentle romance, cozy vibes
warnings — 16+ ONLY. contains suggestive sexual content, small renovation accident, references to past family deaths (grandparents)
author's note — would you believe this fic has been sitting in my drafts since last year haha. but i finally finished it after months of adding scenes and expanding seasons. i wanted to keep it shorter but well, now it is what it is lol. hope you enjoy <3
masterlist + support my writing
When you inherited your grandparents' old Victorian home, you thought the biggest challenge would be the renovations. The sagging porch, the outdated wiring, the kitchen that hadn't been updated since the 1970s — these were all problems you could tackle with enough time, money, and YouTube tutorials.
What you hadn't counted on was Satoru Gojo.
Your new neighbor lived in the equally grand house across the street, though his was perfectly maintained with its pristine white paint and perfectly tended rose bushes. You'd noticed him the day you moved in, impossible not to really, with that white hair and those eyes in the colour of summer skies that seemed to find you no matter where you were.
It was frustrating, to say the least.
You'd first noticed him through your kitchen window one morning, still half asleep and clutching your teacup. He was at his mailbox, and for a disorienting moment, you thought you were still dreaming. No shirt. Sweatpants low on his hips. It was really way too early for someone to look that good. It felt almost unfair, frankly. But then he turned, caught you staring and flashed you a smile that could belong in a stupid toothpaste commercial.
You'd ducked under the counter so quickly you'd spilled tea all over yourself. It was ridiculous, really—hiding in your own kitchen.
Your first actual meeting came three days later, when you were balanced precariously on a ladder, trying to clear the gutters of last autumn's soggy birch leaves. You were reaching for a stubborn clump when a voice drifted up from below.
"You might want to secure that ladder before it slides."
You looked down. Satoru stood there, one hand casually steadying the ladder, the other holding a steaming mug. His white hair caught the spring sunlight, shimmering like spun moonlight, and his eyes were the kind of blue that made you grateful you were already holding onto something.
“It’s fine, really” you said, even as the ladder wobbled slightly.
“Famous last words.” A corner of his mouth quirked. “But humor me? I’d hate to call an ambulance before I know my new neighbor’s name.”
That had set the tone for everything that followed.
He had an uncanny ability to appear whenever you were struggling—or perhaps he was stalking you. Either way, he had a way of offering help in a way that somehow never felt condescending. It was subtle at first—the way he'd bring over coffee when he saw you starting an early morning project, or how he seemed to have an endless supply of useful tools that were "just gathering dust anyway", as he always said.
He never pushed, never overwhelmed, but he was always there, across the street and you found yourself looking over to his house more often than you'd care to admit.
You told yourself it was just practical. He knew the neighborhood, understood old houses, and happened to be surprisingly knowledgeable about house renovation. The fact that he had a smile that made your chest tight, or that he looked unfairly good in everything he wore was entirely irrelevant. He's just a neighbour, you told yourself, even as heat rose in your cheeks. A ridiculously attractive neighbour—unfortunately.
But as spring melted into summer, and summer faded into autumn, you started to realize two very inconvenient truths: One, restoring this house was going to take far longer than you'd planned. And two, Satoru Gojo was becoming a much more relevant aspect of this restoration than you'd wished.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It all began with the pipes in spring.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
Spring was supposed to be about fresh starts and birdsong or whatever stupid idyllic nonsense romance movies peddled. Your old Victorian home, however, had other ideas. Because on one peaceful Sunday morning, the pipe under your kitchen sink decided it had had enough of gravity and time.
You were making coffee when you heard it—a suspicious gurgle, followed by a crack that could only mean trouble. And suddenly, your cabinet was a fountain. Lovely, really, if it didn’t threaten to turn your kitchen into an indoor pool. You managed to shut off the water and were now flat on your back under the sink, surrounded by tools, muttering curses at the rusted pipe, when a knock sounded.
“Having fun down there?”
You jumped in surprise and, naturally, hit your head on the cabinet. Of course it was him. Of course your ridiculously, unfairly attractive neighbor would appear right when you were sprawled on the kitchen floor, soaked and probably looking like a drowned rat.
“Ha ha,” you called dryly, not bothering to move. “I’ve got this.”
“That’s why there’s water running down your driveway?”
You closed your eyes. Counted to ten. “Don’t you have your own house to maintain?”
“Much less entertaining over there.” A rustle of movement, and then Satoru was crouching beside you. His white hair fell forward as he tilted his head, those stupidly handsome blue eyes assessing the situation. “You’re using the wrong wrench.”
“I am not.”
“You are.” He reached past you, picking up a different wrench. “Pipe wrench, not adjustable. Unless you’re aiming for an indoor pool, in which case, carry on.”
You glared at him, which was significantly less effective from your position on the floor. "Don't you have someone else to annoy?"
"On a Saturday morning? Please." He settled onto the floor beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned in to examine the pipe. "Besides, this is a two person job. One to hold the pipe, one to remove the fitting. Unless you've grown extra arms?"
You hadn’t. Hence the problem. You'd spent the last hour trying to manage it alone and had only succeeded in getting thoroughly soaked and increasingly frustrated.
"Fine," you sighed, scooting over to make room. "But if you make one more smart comment—"
"Would I do that?" He gave you an exaggeratedly innocent look that almost made you smile.
Working together, it took only minutes to remove the damaged section of pipe. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing toned forearms, the sleeves bunching just below his elbows. You tried not to notice how he smelled faintly of sandalwood, or how his presence made your kitchen feel suddenly so much smaller.
"You'll need to replace this whole section," he said, examining the corroded pipe. "The hardware store opens in an hour."
"I know that." You definitely hadn't known that.
"Of course you did." His smile made you want to punch him. "Just like you knew about using the pipe wrench?"
"I will set your house on fire."
He laughed, the sound filling the small space. “No, you won’t. You like having someone around who knows a pipe wrench from an adjustable one.”
A strange warmth spread through you, followed by a healthy dose of suspicion. Was he…flirting?
No. Impossible. Satoru Gojo didn't flirt. Or better said, he flirted with everyone—the barista at the coffee shop, the elderly woman selling tomatoes at the market, even the hardware store clerk he’d charmed into giving you a discount the other day. It was just his way.
Still it did make the small space feel a little warmer. And the worst part was, he wasn't entirely wrong. You did appreciate his help. But you'd rather deal with a thousand broken pipes on your own than admit that and witness his self-satisfied grin.
“Don’t you have your own projects?” you asked, pushing yourself up, feigning a nonchalance you absolutely did not feel.
“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’, looking far too comfortable sprawled on your kitchen floor. “My house is perfect. Which leaves me free to watch you struggle with yours. Better than Netflix.”
You grabbed a dish towel and threw it at his head. He caught it easily, because of course he did.
"Come on." He stood in one fluid motion that had no right to look that graceful. "I'll drive you to the hardware store. Unless you want water running down your driveway all day?”
You looked between him and your ruined cabinet, weighing your options. Pride demanded you handle this alone. Practicality pointed out that he actually seemed to know what he was doing, and you really did need that pipe fixed today.
"Fine." You sighed. "But I'm buying my own supplies." You blurted it out, remembering how he’d somehow paid the entire bill before you’d even reached for your wallet last time you'd run into him in the hardware store.
"Whatever you say." He was already heading for the door, keys jingling in his hand. "Though you might want to change first. Not that the wet look isn't working for you, but—"
You looked down at your soaked clothes, then back at him. Your white shirt clung to you like a second skin and was practically see through. Heat rushed to your face.
Why was he only mentioning this now?
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
After the Saturday sink incident, you'd sworn to handle the rest of the plumbing yourself. You weren’t entirely sure why—maybe it was pride, maybe it was the way he’d teased you endlessly about it, or maybe it was the strange flutter in your chest whenever he was near.
Whatever the reason, you’d plotted your renovation schedule around his presumed absences, binged YouTube tutorials until your eyes blurred, and even took your coffee breaks in the backyard, convinced he couldn’t possibly find you there.
But somehow, Satoru Gojo kept appearing anyway.
"That pipe threading looks wrong," he'd say, appearing beside you like some stupid house ghost. Or, "Those measurements seem off," right when you were about to make a cut. Or worst of all, saying nothing at all. He’d simply stand there with that look until you finally snapped and asked for help.
On one stupid cursed Monday afternoon, the bathroom pipes were your breaking point. You'd been at it for hours, surrounded by copper fittings and pipe dope, when his shadow fell across your work. You really needed to start locking the door.
“Don’t,” you warned without looking up.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were thinking it loud enough.”
“I was just admiring your work.” His voice held that familiar amusement that made your skin prickle. “Though if you’re planning on running water anytime soon—”
Your wrench clattered to the floor. “Fine. What am I doing wrong?”
“Would you believe me if I said everything?”
But the most infuriating part wasn’t just that he was right. It was the way he showed you. His large hands moving gently as he demonstrated the proper technique, his voice low and soft as he explained what you were doing wrong with such patience that made it impossible to stay annoyed with him.
By the time the bathroom was finished, you’d stopped pretending you didn’t need his help. By the time you tackled the upstairs pipes, you’d stopped pretending you didn’t want it.
It became a routine. You’d start a project, he’d appear with some tedious fact about old houses, and together you’d work until the sun dipped below the horizon. He never pushed, never took over, just quietly adjusted your grip on a tool or handed you the right fitting before you even asked.
“You know,” you said one evening, both of you tired and dusted with grime, “for someone with a perfect house, you spend a lot of time in my disaster zone.”
He was quiet for so long you thought he might not answer. Then, his voice, when it came, was different—softer, the usual teasing edge gone. “Maybe I like watching something beautiful come back to life.”
You looked up, a question forming on your lips, but he was already focused on the pipe in his hands again, his expression shadowed in the fading light.
The last pipe was replaced on a cool evening in late spring. You both stood in the basement and looked at your work.
“Guess you’ll have to find someone else to annoy now,” you said, trying for a light tone, though a strange heaviness settled in your chest.
“Your electrical panel looks pretty old.”
“Satoru—”
“And those windows definitely need reglazing before summer.”
“You don’t have to—”
“And don’t even get me started on that porch roof.”
You stared at him. “You’re not going to let me do any of this alone, are you?”
He smiled. “Now you’re getting it.”
And standing there in your basement, covered in dust and sweat, you finally admitted what you'd been fighting all spring—maybe you didn't want to do this alone after all.
Even if you’d never say it out loud.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
Summer arrived like a slow exhale, bringing humid days and the kind of heat that made everything a sweltering ordeal.
The porch was your next project so that you could reclaim the space before the season completely slipped away. You envisioned lazy afternoons spent sipping iced tea in the shade, reading a book or simply napping. But looking at the porch now, with its peeling paint, crumbling railings, and warped floorboards, that vision felt miles away.
It had become normal to find Satoru on your porch in the mornings, armed with iced coffee and opinions about latest movies. You'd stopped questioning how he always seemed to know your schedule, or why he willingly sacrificed his free time to help you strip old paint from equally old wood.
“This is bad,” he said one stifling morning, poking a section of railing that crumbled at his touch. “How did it get this neglected?”
You swiped at the sweat trickling down your forehead, probably smearing paint stripper across your cheek. “Ask that my grandparents’ bank. Two years of bureaucratic hell before I could even touch the place.”
“I’m more concerned about what you’re doing there. You’re taking off more wood than paint.” His hands hovered for a moment before gently adjusting your grip. “Like this. Gentle but firm. Let the stripper do the work.”
Months ago, the correction would have annoyed you. Now you just moved your hands and noticed how the work immediately became easier. But the warmth of his breath on your neck and the familiar scent of sandalwood still sent a shiver down your spine. You swallowed, ignoring the flutter in your stomach. "Not all of us have a natural talent for restoring historic houses."
"No, some of us just inherited beautiful old houses and decided to learn through trial and error." His voice carried that warm amusement that had become familiar. "Mostly error."
You turned to glare at him, but he was already moving on to the next section, the muscles in his arms flexing as he worked. Not that you were staring. You definitely weren't staring. And if you were, it was purely to study his scraping technique.
So the days fell into a rhythm. Mornings were for demolition—tearing out rotten planks and stripping paint before the heat truly settled in. Afternoons were for repairs, matching new wood to old, rebuilding piece by piece as sweat dripped down your backs.
"My grandmother used to bring us lemonade out here when we were kids," you said one afternoon, both of you sprawled in the shade of the half-finished porch, and as you said it, you could almost smell the lemon, tart and sweet. Hear the clinking of the ice in the heavy glasses. "She had this really pretty set of vintage glasses."
Satoru lay on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes against the sun. “Let me guess—they’re still in the attic somewhere?"
“Along with about a hundred years’ worth of other stuff.” You took a long sip from your water bottle. “I’m almost afraid to look.”
He propped himself up on his elbows, the movement pulling his damp t-shirt tighter across his chest, revealing the faint outline of his abs and the curve of his bicep. A few stray beads of sweat trickled down his temple, catching the sunlight. "We should check it out. After the porch is done."
"We?"
"Unless you're planning to handle whatever horror show is up there alone?" He smiled. “Besides, I’m invested in this house’s resurrection story now.”
"Is that what this is?"
"Isn't it?" He gestured at the porch around you. “Old becoming new. Though hopefully with better plumbing this time.”
You threw a paint chip at him, which he dodged easily. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
“Never.” He stood and offered you a hand. "It's too good a story.”
You took his hand, and for a moment, you simply looked at him. It struck you then how familiar his presence had become—the easy banter, the shared work, the comfortable silences. It felt like you’d known him forever.
“Alright, let’s get back to it,” he said, his hand still holding yours. “This porch isn’t going to rebuild itself. Unless you’re planning on serving me lemonade on a pile of rotted wood?”
“Who says I’m making you lemonade?”
He tugged you closer, just a little, until you were almost toe to toe. You tilted your head, your gaze locked with his, and something playful flashed in those sky blue eyes of his. “Aren’t I entitled to a little refreshment after all this hard work?”
“You have quite the ideas.”
“Hmh. I have another one.” He released your hand. “You should have a party here when it’s finished. Lemonade and those vintage glasses of your grandmother’s.”
“To celebrate what?”
He glanced over his shoulder, something soft in his expression. “That good things are worth the work.”
You looked away first and focused back on your own section of railing. If your cheeks were warm, it was definitely just the summer heat.
The porch took two more weeks to finish. Every board was carefully replaced or restored, every detail attended to with a gentle care that would have made your grandmother proud. You spent the final evening painting together, working in silence as the sun set.
“It’s beautiful.” You stepped back to admire your work. The fresh white paint glowed in the twilight, making the whole house seem to breathe easier.
“It is.” But when you glanced over, Satoru wasn’t looking at the porch. His gaze was on you.
You cleared your throat, suddenly very interested in cleaning your paintbrush. "So, about that attic..."
His smile, when you dared to look back, was warm and genuine. "Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," you echoed, trying to ignore the way your heart quickened at the way he said it—like a promise, like there would always be another project, another reason to spend these long summer days together.
And it felt… good.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
The attic turned out to be exactly the treasure trove you'd hoped but also feared it to be—a cavernous space choked with dust motes dancing in the faint light filtering through grimy windows. Air hung thick and still with the scent of dried wood and dust. Piles of furniture shrouded in white sheets were scattered among stacks of old books with brittle pages and dusty hatboxes tied with faded ribbons.
It was chaotic, let's just say that.
But it was also so familiar it tugged at the edges of your memory, a feeling of coming home to a place you hadn't seen in years.
The attic had started as a simple weekend project, mostly to fix the insulation before autumn. But each box you opened was like a time capsule of memories. You'd find yourself lost in old photo albums or mesmerised by your grandmother's book collection, renovation plans long forgotten as you sifted through the memories of their lives—and yours. And what you'd initially considered a "weekend project" had clearly been a wildly optimistic estimate.
You were so absorbed in sorting through another box that you didn't hear the footsteps on the stairs until Satoru's head popped through the access panel.
"Your door was unlocked," he said, as that would explain why he always appeared out of nowhere is your house. "I brought lunch."
"Normal people call first," you replied, not looking up from the box in your hands.
"Normal is boring." He pulled himself up without any effort, which was almost offensive considering how you'd stumbled up here earlier. "Besides, you skipped breakfast again. I heard your stomach growling from across the street."
"That's not even possible." But the gnawing in your stomach told a different story. You were hungry, but you hadn't even noticed between the years and years of memories coming back to life.
"And yet." He settled beside you, closer than strictly necessary in the cramped space, and peered into the box. "What's caught your attention this time?"
You held up a bundle of letters, tied together with a red ribbon. "I think they're my grandparents' love letters."
His eyebrows rose. "From the war?"
"Maybe?" You were surprised for a second, not expecting him to remember the little detail you had told him one lazy afternoon in the sun—that your grandfather had served in the army and had been separated from your grandmother for some time. You untied the ribbon, handling the aged paper like it might crumble. The first envelope was postmarked 1943. "Oh. They are."
Satoru leaned in, his shoulder brushing yours as you pulled out the first letter. His body was warm in the cool attic air next to yours, and you caught a subtle hint of sandalwood—a scent that had become inseparable from these shared afternoons.
"My dearest heart," you read aloud, then paused, suddenly feeling like you were intruding on something private. But it’s been over half a century, you reminded yourself. They wouldn’t mind, surely. After all, they left all this to you. You continued, "The cherry trees are blooming here, and all I can think about is how we walked through the park last spring. Do you remember? You were wearing that blue dress, the one that matches the sky, and I knew right then I would marry you—"
"Your grandfather was a romantic," Satoru commented, a soft smile in his voice.
"Shh." You elbowed him lightly. "I carry your picture with me everywhere. The other men tease me about it, but I don't care. When things get dark over here, I just look at your smile and remember what I'm fighting for..." Your voice caught unexpectedly at the written words of your grandfather.
Satoru shifted closer and whispered, "Let me.” His chest brushed against your shoulder and his fingers slid over yours as he took the paper, the touch lingering for a moment longer.
“Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine I'm back home with you," he continued, lips close enough to your temple that you could feel the words as much as hear them. His usual playful tone was gone, replaced by something that made your heart melt. "Sitting on that porch swing, watching the sunset. Nothing grand or fancy, just you and me and the quiet. That's what keeps me going, the thought of coming home to you."
Satoru stood up, brefting you of his warmth and sat down on a dusty stack of boxes near the small window opposite you to get a better view of the letters. The afternoon light caught the silver strands in his white hair, making them glimmer like starlight. He looked younger, almost boyish in the soft light as he continued to read the letter. You watched him, struck by this unfamiliar sight.
"There are dozens more," you said after he finished, gesturing to the box. "Looks like they wrote to each other every week."
"Different time.” His startlingly blue eyes met yours, and for once there was no trace of his usual teasing smile. "People knew how to love back then. They took their time with it."
"You don't think people know how to love now?"
"I think we've forgotten how to do it slowly. How to let it build, letter by letter, moment by moment."
Your heart fluttered strangely, like a trapped bird. It was like glimpsing a part of him he usually kept hidden, a hint of the man beneath the playful nonchalance. Before you could process the feeling, before you could even form a coherent thought, he picked up another letter, breaking the moment with a small, almost apologetic smile.
“My darling," he read, "Today Mrs. Henderson's cat got stuck in our rosebushes again, and all I could think was how you would have laughed..."
You smiled and settled back against the old boxes as he read, his warm voice washing over you like a soothing dream. The afternoon light caught dust motes dancing in the air, and somewhere in the distance, a church bell chimed.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
August arrived with a heatwave so oppressive, even the cicadas seemed to fall silent. You suggested starting at dawn, hoping to get some work done before the worst of the heat set in, and to your surprise Satoru had no objection, even though you knew he hated early starts and loved sleeping in.
And you were even more surprised when Satoru showed up right on time and you didn't even have to wake him up, armed with paintbrushes and a concerningly large supply of water bottles.
"You really don't have to help with this," you’d told him. "I can do it on my own, really. It’s not complicated or something.”
He arched a brow. "When has that ever stopped me?"
The house was a dull greenish colour. It had originally been a soft sage green, but it had faded over time. It was a colour your grandmother had loved, a shade that reminded her of the rolling hills of her childhood home. So you decided to paint it sage again. But by midday the heat had become almost unbearable, pressing down on you. Air thick and shimmering.
"You need to take a break," Satoru said, watching you sway slightly on the ladder. "You look pale."
"I'm fine," you insisted, even as your head throbbed. "We're almost done with this section."
"The paint will still be here in a few hours." He was already taking the painbrush from your hands. "Go rest before you fall off that ladder and give me a heart attack."
You wanted to argue, but the world was starting to spin in a way that suggested he might have a point. "Just for an hour.”
"Whatever you say." His hand steadied you as you climbed down the ladder, swaying slightly. "Go. Sleep. I've got this."
You wanted to lie down for a moment, just until the throbbing in your head subsided. Instead, you woke to the first gentle breeze of early evening, carrying the distant hum of a lawnmower from a neighboring garden. You stumbled outside, still groggy, and stopped dead.
The house.
It was finished.
Every inch of peeling paint had been replaced with perfect sage green and the trim was crisp white. It looked like a completely different house, restored to its former beauty.
Satoru was putting away the last of the brushes, his white hair darkened with sweat and plastered to his forehead, his clothes splattered with green. He looked exhausted, but a genuine smile touched his lips when he spotted you.
"You did all that?" you asked, still not quite believing it.
He lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe his face, revealing a fleeting glimpse of his toned stomach with sharply defined abs that you quickly looked away from. He must have seen your reaction, but for once, he didn’t comment. When you looked back, his shirt was down.
“You needed the rest. And I had the time.”
"Satoru, this would have taken days—"
“A few hours with the right motivation.” He shrugged, as if it were nothing. “Besides, couldn’t leave it half finished. Would have ruined the aesthetic of the street."
You knew that wasn’t the real reason. Just like you knew he didn't spend every free moment helping you with this house because he was concerned about the aesthetic of the street.
It was absurd. He was Satoru, infuriatingly charming, impossibly handsome Satoru. There was no way he could—no, it couldn't be. But the evidence piled up. It was the way his eyes lingered on yours, the way his voice softened when he spoke to you, the way his presence filled every corner of your attention. It was a ridiculous notion, a phantom feeling that had no place in reality. He was a neighbour, a friend, someone who was simply helpful.
That's all.
The setting sun painted everything in shades of gold, catching in the wet paint and making your house shimmer like a scene from a fairytale. Satoru was still putting away brushes, his movements slower now, betraying his weariness even as he tried to play it off.
"You didn't have to do this," you said. "Any of it, really. The pipes, the porch, and now this."
He glanced at you, then back at the house. “I wanted to.”
"But why?" The question that had been burning in your throat all summer, since spring, since the first leaky pipe, finally escaped. "You have your own perfect house. Your own life. Why spend every free moment helping me with mine?"
“Would you believe me if I said I just like restoring things?”
"Not really," you said, trying to ignore the way your heart picked up speed when he moved closer.
He reached out to brush something from your cheek. "You have a little…paint.” His thumb lingered against your skin, sun-warm and gentle. "Right here."
Time seemed to slow, the moment stretching like honey in the golden light. You could see the flecks of darker blue in his eyes, the fine lines at the corners, the way his hair curled at his temples from sweat, and the small smudge of sage green along his jaw. He was so close. Too close.
"Satoru," you breathed, not sure if it was a question or a warning.
"Besides, watching you love this house back to life, even without knowing anything about renovations—" He paused, his thumb tracing along your cheekbone. "It's unexpectedly cute."
You could feel his breath against your lips, could see the question in his eyes as he leaned slightly closer. His other hand came up to cradle your face, and you found yourself swaying towards him, drawn in by the gravity of this moment you'd both been circling since spring.
But then a car door slammed somewhere down the street and broke the spell. You both stepped back.
Had that…had that almost just happened? You blinked, trying to clear the lingering warmth from your face. It must have been the heat. Or the paint smell. There was no way—
"I should—" He gestured vaguely at the remaining equipment.
"Right. Yeah. Sure" You were babbling, your heart racing like you'd been running. You desperately tried to convince yourself that you’d imagined the whole thing, that the almost kiss was just a figment of your overheated imagination.
He turned to gather his things, nearly dropping his water bottle twice. You watched him, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't sound desperate or awkward, but your mind was stuck on the phantom feeling of his thumb against your cheek.
At the garden gate, he paused, turning back with that smile that never failed to make your stomach flip. "Try not to break anything else before tomorrow?"
You smiled. "No promises."
He lingered for a moment longer, as if wanting to say something else, but then just nodded and stepped out onto the street. Just before he reached his door, you found yourself moving, yanking open your garden gate without thinking. "Satoru!"
He turned.
"Thank you!" you called out, hoping he could hear everything else you couldn't say in those two words. Thank you for helping. For caring. For almost kissing me.
His smile softened into something genuine, something that made your heart stumble in your chest. "Anytime!”
You stood there long after he'd disappeared into his house, your fingers absently touching the spot on your cheek where his hand had been, wondering how you were supposed to go back to normal after almost kissing your irritatingly perfect neighbour.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
You'd never felt more ridiculous than when you found yourself standing on Satoru Gojo's immaculate porch, holding a slightly lopsided stawberry cake in your hand. After three attempts to ring the doorbell without letting the cake fall to the ground, you were seriously considering just leaving it on his doorstep with a note and running back across the street. But before you could execute your escape plan, the door swung open, and suddenly all coherent thought left your brain.
Satoru stood there in low-slung sweatpants and a fitted dark blue shirt that clung slightly to his still damp skin. A towel was draped around his neck, and his white hair was darker with moisture, falling into his eyes in a way that should be illegal. Droplets of water traced down his neck, disappearing beneath his collar.
Not that you were staring, of course.
His eyes widened and a stupid, handsome smile lit up his face. "Don’t tell me your kitchen is underwater again?”
"No, no…no emergencies today.” You thrust the cake forward like it’s something hot. "I made this. To say thank you. For all the help." The words tumbled out in a rush. "It's stawberry. Though now I'm realizing you might not even like stawberries, which would be really inconvenient, and—"
"I love them," he interrupted your rambling and took the cake out of your hands. "Did you make this just for me?"
"Don't let it go to your head."
"Too late." He stepped back, gesturing inside. "Come in. It’s too hot to stand out here."
You hesitated at the threshold. In all these months of him appearing at your house, you'd never actually been inside his. It felt like crossing some invisible line you hadn't even realized existed.
"Unless you're scared," he added with that familiar teasing note in his voice.
You groaned and stepped inside. Where your house was still a work in progress, his was... perfect. Somehow both modern and classic, with original hardwood floors that gleamed and a fireplace in the centre of the living room. The furniture was clearly expensive but comfortable, and large windows filled the space with natural light.
"This is—"
"Not what you expected?" He walked past you towards what you assumed was the kitchen, and you caught another whiff of his shower fresh scent.
"I was expecting more mirrors, actually. You know, so you could admire yourself from every angle."
He laughed. "Those are all in the bedroom."
You felt heat creep up your spine at his words and tried very hard not to think about Satoru and bedrooms in the same sentence. You followed him into his kitchen that was equally perfect like the rest of his house. Without thinking, you hopped up onto the wooden island and watched him move around the room.
"Coffee?" he asked, already reaching for mugs.
“Please.” Your legs swung idly as you watched him slice the cake. "Though I should warn you, I don’t bake often.”
“Should I be afraid?"
"I take it back. No cake for you."
"Too late." He slid a plate across the counter. He leaned against the island opposite you, close enough that your knees almost brushed his. "So, I was thinking about your kitchen.”
"What about it?"
"You need new countertops. And fresh paint." He took a bite of cake, his eyebrows rising. "This is actually good."
"Don't sound so shocked."
You tried not to focus on how silly domestic this all felt—you on his kitchen island, sharing cake and talking about future projects like you were some kind of … couple.
"I was thinking," he continued, "we could start on that next week? I know a good carpenter who makes really cool wooded countertops that would match the original—"
Your gaze wandered as he spoke, taking in the space. That's when you saw it—a framed photo on the windowsill above the sink. Satoru, looking unfairly handsome in what appeared to be a suit, and a stunning woman with pale hair pressing a kiss to his cheek.
They looked intimate.
Happy.
Like an actual couple.
Your stomach dropped.
"—and the marble could be saved if we—" He paused, noticing your distraction. "What's wrong?"
"Actually." You set down your cake, sliding off the counter, "I just remembered I have this... thing. I need to go."
"Now? But we haven't even finished—"
"It's important." You were already heading for the door, trying to ignore how low his sweatpants hung, revealing a bit of his perfect abs, how at home he looked in this perfect kitchen with its perfect photos of him and his perfect girlfriend. "Thanks for the coffee. And, um, good luck with... everything."
"Wait, what about your kitchen?" He followed you into the hallway. "Shouldn’t we talk about it first, before—"
"I'll figure it out," you said quickly, nearly stumbling in your haste to reach the door. "You probably have other plans anyway. With... people. Important people. I'll just YouTube it or something."
"Other plans? What are you—"
"Bye!"
You practically fled down his porch steps, not daring to look back at his bewildered expression. You made it across the street with lightning speed, slamming your front door behind you and sliding down against it.
"Stupid," you muttered to yourself, pressing your palms against your burning cheeks. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
Of course he had a girlfriend. Someone that hansome, that charming, that annoyingly perfect—how could he not? And here you were, bringing him cake like some lovesick teenager, reading too much into things.
He was just being polite, probably feeling sorry for the disaster of a neighbour who couldn't even fix a leaky pipe without flooding her kitchen and you were making a complete fool of yourself. You wanted to melt into the floor and disappear.
You could never face him again. How were you supposed to look him in the eye knowing you'd been almost kissing him in your backyard while his gorgeous girlfriend smiled at him from picture frames in his perfect kitchen? How could you ever stand on your porch again without remembering how you'd practically fled from his house like a guilty teenager?
Your kitchen tabletops would just have to stay ugly forever. You'd learn to love them. You pressed your forehead against your knees and groaned.
And now you'd just have to avoid him for... oh, the rest of your life.
Easy.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
Summer melted into autumn with surprising speed, the maple trees lining your street turning from green to orange and crimson. As the days grew shorter, your grandmother's herb garden was dotted with fallen leaves that crunched underfoot. Even the air felt different—crisper, carrying the scent of woodsmoke and the promise of colder days to come.
And you threw yourself into the next project—the kitchen, armed with nothing but YouTube tutorials, sheer stubbornness and the grudging advice of the grumpy guy at the hardware store (who, you were convinced, hid whenever he saw you approaching).
Things weren't exactly going smoothly. You'd managed to miscalculate the measurements for the new cupboards (twice), and you were pretty sure you'd cracked the new sink while trying to install the tap. But it was your mess, your project, and you were determined to see it through, even if it meant several trips to the hardware store and more withering stares from grumpy guy.
"Back again?" he'd grumble. "What'd you break this time?"
"Nothing's broken," you'd insist, even as you clutched a piece of pipe that was definitely not supposed to bend that way. "I just need... clarification."
Your kitchen was slowly, painfully coming together. Sure, the subway tiles weren't perfectly aligned, and maybe one cupboard door hung a little lower than its neighbours, but it was yours. Every imperfect angle and slightly wobbly shelf represented hours of YouTube research and grumpy guy's reluctant advice.
If sometimes, late at night, you found yourself staring at your uneven grout lines and remembering how easily Satoru had fixed your sink that first day—well, that was between you and your slightly tipsy reflection in the new (only somewhat streaky) backsplash.
You'd gotten good at avoiding him. Early morning hardware store runs, late evening painting sessions with your curtains drawn. You'd even mapped out his routine—when he left for work, when he usually arrived home, which days he typically did yard work. All so you could time your own activities to minimize any chance of running into his blue eyes.
This was all totally normal, of course. Perfectly reasonable behavior for an normal adult obviously.
Some days were harder than others. Like when you could hear him on his porch in the evenings, chatting with Miss Tanaka about the weather and whether he wanted to go out with her granddaughter. She's so pretty and can cook such good beef stew, she'd say. As if Satoru didn't already have a girlfriend. A perfect girlfriend who could for sure cook a fantastic, wonderful, amazing beef stew. While you ate burned toast.
But you were managing. Mostly. The kitchen was... well, "finished" might be a strong word, but it was functional. Sort of. If you didn't mind that one burner that heated unevenly, or the fact that the new faucet made a strange gurgling sound when you ran hot water.
Even grumpy guy had stopped wincing visibly when you showed him your progress photos, which you counted as a win. "Could be worse," he'd said last week, which was basically a compliment coming from him.
You told yourself it was better this way. Better to have a slightly crooked kitchen than to face the mortification of asking for help from your impossibly perfect neighbour with his impossibly perfect girlfriend. Besides, character was important in old houses. That's what all the renovation shows said. And your kitchen certainly had... character.
It happened on one of those perfect late autumn evenings, when the sky turned deep purple and the air smelled like pine and fallen leaves. You were trying to hang a lamp in your dining room—the sort of task that would definitely require two people, but stubbornness had convinced you otherwise.
The ladder seemed stable enough. The wiring looked mostly right. You stretched, straining to connect the final wire, when you heard it. A soft groan from above, followed by the distinct sound of old plaster giving way. Everything happened at once. The ceiling cracked, raining down decades of dust and debris. The lamp slipped from your fingers, and your balance followed.
You hit the hardwood floor hard, the light crashing beside you in a shower of glass and plaster. For a moment, you just lay there, staring up at the hole in your ceiling and questioning every life decision that had led to this moment.
The sound of your front door bursting open echoed through the house, followed by rapid footsteps.
"Hey! Are you—" Satoru’s voice trailed off as he appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening as he took in the scene—you sprawled on the floor, surrounded by debris, the ladder tipped against the wall, and the sad remains of what was supposed to be your new dining room light.
"Don't say it.”
"Say what?" He crossed the room in quick strides and knelt beside you. "That trying to hang a lamp by yourself is stupid? Or that you're lucky you didn't break your neck?"
"Both. Neither." You winced as you tried to sit up. "How did you even get in here?"
"Your door was unlocked. I was on my porch, heard you scream." His hands hovered near your shoulders, like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to help. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine.”
You tried to push yourself up, but your ankle protested.
"Don’t be stupid." He moved closer, dust from your ceiling clinging to his dark sweater. "Let me see."
"It's nothing—"
"Let me take care of you.” His usual teasing smile was gone, replaced with genuine concern that made your chest tight. "Please?"
The 'please' did you in. You nodded weakly, and before you could process what was happening, Satoru slid one arm behind your shoulders and the other under your knees. He lifted you effortlessly, as if you weighed nothing at all.
"What are you—" you started, your hands automatically gripping his sweater.
"Kitchen has better light.” He carried you through the doorway, nudging it open with his shoulder. He set you down gently on the counter, careful of your ankle. His hands were warm where they rested at your waist, steadying you.
For a moment, he stayed close, closer than he had any right to be, and you found yourself level with those sky blue eyes that always made you weak.
"Stay," he whispered, finally stepping back. "Let me take care of this."
You wanted to protest, to maintain even a little bit of distance. But your ankle really hurt and you were really tired. So you sat there, perched on your counter (which was definitely not as level as you'd claimed to grumpy guy) and watched Satoru move around your kitchen.
He found a clean dish towel in the second drawer he tried and wrapped some ice in it. His movements were precise, practiced, like he'd done this a hundred times before. Probably for his girlfriend, you thought.
"Your cabinet organization is creative,” he said.
"It's a new system I'm trying out."
"Is that what we're calling chaos these days?" He returned, ice pack in hand. The counter put you at perfect height for him to—no. My god. Stop that train of thought immediately.
He carefully lifted your ankle, his touch impossibly gentle as he pressed the ice against it. The cold made you flinch, and his other hand came to rest just above your knee.
"Too cold?"
“No, it’s…” You swallowed, trying to ignore the warmth of his hand through your jeans. “It’s fine.”
He hummed, his attention focused on your ankle. He slowly rotated it, checking for damage. You studied his face—the slight furrow of concentration between his brows, the way his hair fell across his forehead, begging to be brushed back.
“Doesn’t seem broken,” he finally said, looking up at you. “But you should stay off it for a few days.”
“I have renovations to finish.”
“The renovations can wait.”
“Says the man with the perfect house.”
He frowned. "You know, for someone so smart, you can be surprisingly dense about—"
A phone buzzed loudly, making you both jump. His phone, you realized, as he pulled it from his back pocket with his free hand, the other still holding the ice pack against your ankle. Probably his girlfriend wondering where he was.
You pulled your leg back, ignoring the pain. "I should let you go," you said, trying to figure out how to get down the counter without falling on your face. "I'm sure you have... plans."
“No wait.” He kept you were you sat with his hand on your leg. He spoke briefly to the caller, then said, “Just work,” and silenced the phone. His hand returned to your ankle, adjusting the ice pack.
"Oh." You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, heart hammering. "I thought... maybe it was your girlfriend." The words came out small, hesitant. "I wouldn't want to keep you. From her, I mean. She probably wouldn't want you touching other women's ankles and all that..." You were rambling now, a nervous habit you'd never quite kicked. "Not that you're really touching my ankle, I mean you are, but medically, like a doctor, not that you're a doctor—"
"What girlfriend?"
“The one in the picture? In your kitchen? Pretty. Blonde. Kissing you?”
To your surprise, Satoru started to laugh. "That's my sister. From her wedding. Is that why you've been avoiding me the last few weeks? Because you thought I had a girlfriend?"
"Your... sister?"
"She'd kill me if she heard you thought we were dating."
"But you're so..." Your mind scrambled for words that weren't 'anyoingly attractive' or 'unfairly perfect.' Like, for real, how can he still be single?
"I'm so...?" He was definitely teasing now, thumb stroking your skin just above your ankle in a way that made it very hard to think straight.
"Annoying," you finally managed, which only made his smile widen.
"Annoying enough that you made me cake, then ran away?" He moved closer, until he was standing between your legs, still holding the ice pack but now definitely invading your personal space. "Annoying enough that you've been avoiding me for weeks because you thought I was taken?"
"I wasn't avoiding you," you said. "I was very busy. With renovations."
"Mhm." His free hand came up to brush some plaster dust from your cheek. "Is that why you tried to hang a lamp by yourself?" His fingers traced your jaw and you swayed towards him despite yourself, your heart pounding.
"You're insufferable."
"Some of us," he murmured, now close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips, "believe good things are worth waiting for. Worth doing slowly, properly." His thumb brushed the corner of your mouth. "Letter by letter, moment by moment. Remember?"
Before you could respond, he stepped back. "Your ankle should be fine in a few days. Try to stay off it. And maybe..." He paused at your kitchen door. "Maybe next time you need help with something, ask your annoying neighbour instead of risking you life?"
You managed a nod, your mind still reeling.
"Oh, and by the way?" He looked back at you, his smile softening. "I really like stawberry cakes. In case you feel like baking again."
With that, he was gone, leaving you perched on your counter with a rapidly melting ice pack and the strange feeling that renovating this house wasn't the only project that was going to take time to get right.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
Autumn fully arrived, bringing crimson leaves, cloudy skies, and more of Satoru's overbearing everything. Your renovation plans resumed, though now with significantly less chance of bodily harm as Satoru was helping you again. He'd show up at your door with brownies and supplies, his teasing somehow both more and less bearable now that you both knew why you'd been avoiding him.
The universe, however, had a sense of humour. It was on a warm Saturday afternoon, while you were both covered in paint from freshening up your living room panelling, that his sister showed up unannounced. She burst into your house, barely containing her glee at finally meeting the neighbour who had mistaken her for her brother's girlfriend.
You wanted to sink into the floor as she told you cheerfully how hard she'd laughed when Satoru called to tell her about the misunderstanding. Her amusement only grew as she took in the sight of the two of you, splattered with paint and clearly at ease in each other's company. She left you with her phone number and the promise of embarrassing childhood photos of her brother, while Satoru tried and failed to get her out before she could do any more damage.
The rest of autumn rushed swiftly into the frozen stillness of winter as the lines between your lives began to blur more and more—his tools mixed with yours in the garage, his coffee mug claimed permanent residence in your cabinet, and his presence became as much a part of your home as the creaky floorboards and old doorknobs.
It felt…natural in a way.
Natural that he'd show up at your house in the morning with fresh pastries and you'd make coffee for the two of you, and natural that you'd work on your house and do something fun at the weekends. Even the way your heart stuttered whenever he was near felt strangely normal, a natural rhythm in this new, unexpected something—something you never named. And yet, amidst the rush, there were moments when time seemed to slow, stretching out like taffy, each shy glance, each lingering touch, each shared laugh becoming a precious memory.
One of those moments was at the pumpkin patch. You'd been wandering through the rows of pumpkins, Satoru trailing behind you, searching for the perfect ones to decorate your house for Halloween. It was a tradition you loved since childhood, bringing back memories of visiting the local patch with your grandfather. You could almost feel the scratchy wool of his sweater against your cheek as he hoisted you onto his shoulders, hear his happy laughter, and feel the warmth of his hand in yours.
"Wait!" you called out, stopping so suddenly that Satoru almost bumped into you. "Look at that one!"
Off to the side sat perhaps the largest pumpkin you'd ever seen. It was definitely lopsided, one side bulging more than the other, and its stem curved at an odd angle.
"That's...quite a pumpkin." Satoru tilted his head. "Though maybe something a bit more manageable would—"
"It's perfect." You already tried to figure out how to lift it. The thing had to weigh at least twenty kilos.
"Perfect might be a stretch." His lips quirked up at the corners as he watched you circle the massive thing. "It's practically your size. And that's definitely not its best side."
You shot him a look. "Not everything needs to be perfect to be beautiful." Your hands settled on your hips as you studied your chosen pumpkin. "Sometimes the imperfect things are the best things."
"Like your crooked kitchen cabinets?”
You ignored his comment and attempted to lift the pumpkin, managing to get it about two centimeters off the ground before setting it back down. "It’s called character."
“Character?” He watched your continued attempts with clear amusement. "It's a safety hazard."
“Are you going to help me or just stand there looking pretty?”
“Oh, so you think I’m pretty?”
“Shut up and help me with this pumpkin.”
“As my lady commands.”
He stepped forward, effortlessly lifting the massive pumpkin like it weighed nothing. Show-off, you thought. Was there anything he wasn’t good at? Renovations, apparently, and now this.
Back home, he carried the pumpkin to your porch, the orange leaves rustling in the gentle wind. You carved the pumpkins on your newly renovated porch as neighbours raked leaves, the crisp autumn air carrying the faint scent of pine and damp earth. Later, his pumpkin looked like some stupid sculpture out of a museum. Of course. Because apparently, Satoru Gojo was good at literally everything. Yours? Well, yours was…cute. You’d call it ugly. Satoru insisted it was cute, and you almost, almost, believed him.
“Why are you so good at everything?” you sighed, more to yourself than him, leaning back and gazing upwards. "Any other hidden talents I should know about?"
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I would, actually.” Your cheeks flushed as you quickly sat up, a nervous stumble sending you straight into his face, as he leaned in too. “Oh, I didn’t mean—”
Something flickered in his expression, a subtle twitch of his brow as his gaze flickered down to your lips. For a heartbeat, you thought he might—but then a single leaf drifted down and the moment shattered. He cleared his throat and turned back to his pumpkin.
"So, where do you want to place them?" he asked.
You let him return to safer topics, frustration washing over you, trying to ignore the way your skin still tingled where his leg had brushed against yours. This had become your new normal—these almost-moments, these near-misses that were driving you absolutely mad. Were you imagining things? Reading too much into every look, every touch? Or was he intentionally playing some game, dangling the possibility of something more, only to snatch it away at the last moment? It was agonizing, a slow torture that was getting harder and harder to endure.
You placed the pumpkins on your porch. Satoru excused himself, saying he had some work to do. Apparently, he was working on something international, fielding calls from overseas offices at ridiculous hours.
"I've got that conference call at two," he said, already backing towards his house. "Dinner later? I'm trying out a new recipe."
It wasn't the first time he'd invited you over—these casual dinners had become a natural part of your... whatever this was. But was it just natural? Or was it something more? You'd thought, with every invitation, every lingering look, every almost-kiss—and at this point, with almost-kiss number 3000, you were starting to lose count—that this time would be different. But maybe, just maybe, it was all in your head. Maybe you were reading too much into everything, again.
"What time?" you asked.
"Seven? Bring wine. And maybe that stawberry cake recipe you've been perfecting?"
"You just want me for my baking."
"Among other things." Before you could respond, he was already heading back to his house, calling over his shoulder, "Don't be late!"
You watched him go, your heart stuttering, wondering if he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
Dinner at Satoru's had become a natural part of your week, but something felt different that evening. Perhaps it was the early autumn darkness pressing against the windows, or the intimate warmth of the kitchen under the amber pendant lamps. Or maybe it was just how he moved around you in his kitchen, always somehow managing to brush past even though there was plenty of space.
He'd outdone himself with dinner, though you'd never tell him that—his ego was big enough already. But he was, you had to admit, a surprisingly excellent cook. Watching him plate the food with the same careful attention he gave to everything, you had to admit he had a talent for this too. Of course he did. It was starting to seem like there wasn't anything Satoru Gojo couldn't do perfectly.
The wine you'd brought paired perfectly with his cooking, because of course it did. He'd probably somehow predicted exactly what you'd choose and planned the meal around it. You wouldn't put it past him, not with how he seemed to anticipate your every move these days. Conversations flowed easily between you. He shared work stories, you gave updates on your projects, and somehow, your feet ended up on his lap beneath the table. He massaged them absently, after you complained about standing all day.
When he suggested a movie afterward, it felt natural to say yes. You watched him make popcorn on the stove and then moved to the couch. The movie was something neither of you really paid attention to, both too aware of how close you sat on his ridiculously comfortable couch. Every time you reached for the popcorn bowl between you, your hands would brush, sending little sparks up your arm. You caught him watching you more than the screen, but whenever you turned to catch him at it, his eyes were innocently focused forward.
As the evening wore on, the warmth of the wine and his presence made your eyelids heavy. You tried to stay awake, but when he gently draped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, resistance melted away. You drifted off against his shoulder, the last thing you remember is the soft brush of his lips against your hair as sleep pulled you under.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
November deepened into December, and the air grew cold with the promise of winter. One morning, the first snow fell, lightly covering your porch and making everything look like a Christmas card. The holiday market downtown was in full swing by mid-December, stalls lined with evergreen boughs and twinkling lights that reflected off fresh snow. You'd been surprised when Satoru suggested you both go, casually mentioning it while helping you install new crown molding in your dining room.
"They've set up an ice rink this year," he'd said, measuring tape in hand, not looking at you directly. "Thought it might be fun."
Which is how you found yourself wandering between market stalls on a Saturday afternoon, your breath clouding in the cold air as Satoru walked beside you, unfairly handsome in a charcoal peacoat and blue scarf that matched his eyes.
"Have you tried the hot chocolate?" Satoru asked, nodding towards a stall where steam rose from copper pots. "I've heard they make it with real Belgian chocolate."
"Are you trying to fatten me up for winter?" But you were already moving.
He followed, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Just trying to keep you warm. Can't have you catching a cold before we finish that bathroom tilework."
The hot chocolate was rich and velvety with a hint of cinnamon, the warmth spreading through your chest as you continued to wander the market. Your fingers grew numb despite your gloves, and Satoru must have noticed because he suddenly handed you his cup.
"Hold this a second." Before you could question him, he removed his own gloves—expensive-looking leather ones—and handed them to you. "These are better insulated. Trade me."
"I can't take your gloves."
"You can and you will." His tone left no room for argument. "Besides, my hands run hot."
You reluctantly made the exchange, noticing how his gloves swallowed your hands but feeling instantly warmer. Something about wearing his gloves made your heart do a strange flutter. As it always seemed when you were near him.
As afternoon stretched into early evening, the market lights came on, making everything look magical. That's when you spotted it—the ice rink, lit up with fairy lights, skaters gliding in circles across the surface.
"Ready to try?" Satoru asked, following your gaze.
"I haven't skated since I was a kid."
"Perfect time to remember then. I'll make sure you don't fall."
Ten minutes later, you stood at the edge of the rink, wobbling precariously on thin blades while Satoru waited patiently beside you. He'd stepped onto the ice with infuriating grace, as if skating were as natural to him as breathing.
"How are you already good at this?" you said, clutching the railing.
"Can’t help it," he replied, like that would explain it. "Come on. I've got you."
Taking a deep breath, you placed your hand in his. His fingers closed around yours, warm and steady, as he pulled you onto the ice. Your legs immediately threatened to slide in opposite directions, but Satoru kept you upright.
"Small steps." His other hand came to rest at your elbow for support. "Don't think about it too much. Let your body remember."
You focused on not falling, even though all you could focus on was his hand in yours, his presence beside you as you slowly made your way around the edge of the rink. Other skaters whizzed past, some holding hands, others chatting to their friends.
After one cautious lap, you began to find your balance. Your death grip on Satoru's hand loosened slightly, though you weren't about to let go completely.
"See? You're a natural," he said, his voice warm.
"I wouldn't go that far. You're doing most of the work."
He smiled, adjusting his pace to match yours. "We make a good team."
The way he said it—so casually, so confidently—sent your thoughts spiraling. Did you make a good team? The evidence was certainly there—the beautifully restored porch, the new plumbing that never leaked, the kitchen with its even countertops that you'd finally finished together. But was that all this was? A renovation partnership?
Because holding his hand like this, skating side by side under twinkling lights with Christmas music playing softly in the background—it felt like more. It felt like a date.
Like something couples did.
Your mind raced as you made another lap around the rink. When had Satoru Gojo become more than just your annoying neighbour? When had his smug smile started making your heart race instead of your blood pressure? And why, despite all the lingering touches and loaded glances over the past months, had he never once tried to kiss you?
"You're thinking too hard again," Satoru said, interrupting your thoughts. "I can practically hear the gears turning."
"Just trying not to fall."
"Relax. I've got you." He squeezed your hand reassuringly, and you couldn't help but wonder if he meant it beyond the ice rink.
Was it possible you were imagining the whole thing? Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe this outing was purely neighborly. Maybe he wasn't interested in you that way at all. Or worse—what if he was gay? No, that couldn't be it. You'd met his ex-girlfriend when she stopped by to drop off some mail that had been mistakenly delivered to her place. Besides, no straight man looked at a woman the way he sometimes looked at you when he thought you weren't paying attention.
So what was it then? Was something wrong with you? Were you not his type?
"Ready to try without the railing?" Satoru asked, pulling you from your spiral.
"Um, I don't think—"
"Trust me," he said softly, and despite your better judgment, you did.
He guided you towards the center of the rink, one hand still firmly clasping yours, the other now resting lightly at your waist. The contact, even through layers of winter clothing, sent a jolt through you.
"You're doing great," he said as you wobbled slightly. "Just find your balance."
"Easy for you to say. You're apparently good at everything."
He laughed. "Not everything."
You didn’t believe him for a second.
Your right skate hit a rough patch of ice, and suddenly you were pitching forward, arms flailing. Time seemed to slow as you prepared for the inevitable crash onto hard ice. But instead of cold pain, you felt strong arms wrap around your waist, catching you. Satoru pulled you against his chest, steadying you both.
You found yourself pressed against him, your hands clutching his coat, faces inches apart. His blue eyes were wide, a few strands of white hair falling across his forehead. You could feel his heart racing—or was that yours?
"Are you okay?" he asked, breath warm against your cheek.
You nodded, unable to speak, certain that this was it—the moment he would finally close the distance between you. His gaze dropped to your lips, lingering there as one of his hands moved up to brush a strand of hair from your face. Your eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, heart hammering against your ribs.
"You know," Satoru said, amusement colouring his tone, "for someone who managed to restore an entire Victorian house, you're surprisingly bad at staying upright on a little ice."
Your eyes snapped open to find him grinning down at you and the moment shattered. He set you back on your feet, though he kept one arm loosely around your waist for support.
"I think I need a break," you said, trying to hide your frustration. "My ankles are killing me."
"Of course." He led you to the exit, his hand returning to yours like it belonged there. "Hot cider? My treat."
As you made your way off the ice, you couldn't help but think that for someone so skilled at fixing things, Satoru Gojo seemed determined to leave whatever was between you two beautifully, frustratingly unresolved.
Despite your disappointment at the almost kiss, the rest of the evening at the market had been pleasant enough. You'd shared warm cider at a wooden table, watching children chase each other through the snow while Satoru told stories about his own childhood winters. He'd insisted on buying you a knitted scarf when he'd caught you admiring it, and wrapped it around your neck himself with aching tenderness. And it made you want to die that he didn't kiss you while he wrapped the scarf around you.
By the time you'd explored every stall, your earlier frustration had mellowed into a dull ache of confusion. Satoru seemed completely at ease, carrying your purchases and guiding you through the crowd with a gentle hand on your lower back—another gesture that felt so intimate, yet so casually offered.
The drive home was quiet, snowflakes dancing in the headlights as Satoru navigated the slippery roads. You stared out the window, watching the familiar streets of your neighbourhood change under the touch of winter, your mind replaying that moment on the ice over and over again. Why hadn't he kissed you?
He must have felt it—that perfect alignment of circumstances, that electric current running between you. For months now, you'd been dancing around this thing, this unspoken whatever it was.
"You're quiet," Satoru said, his voice breaking through your thoughts as the car came to a stop in front of your house. The snow was falling harder now, collecting on the windshield.
"Just tired." You forced a smile. "Thank you for today. It was fun."
"Are you sure that's all it is?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
Before he could answer, you gathered your bags and pushed open the car door. "Goodnight, Satoru."
You hurried up the now perfectly restored steps of your front porch, fumbling with your keys as snowflakes clung to your hair and eyelashes, desperate to bury all those confusing feelings deep down, underneath a lot of chocolate and trashy romance Christmas movies. But then the sound of a car door closing behind you made you stop.
"Hey," Satoru called, his footsteps crunching through fresh snow. "Wait a second."
You took a deep breath and turned to face him. He was standing at the bottom of your porch steps, snowflakes catching in his white hair, his forehead furrowed. "Something's wrong. I can tell."
"It's nothing. Really, I'm just tired."
"After all these months, I'd hope you'd know you can't lie to me." He climbed the steps slowly until he was standing in front of you. "Did I do something? Say something?"
You shook your head. "It's not about what you did."
"Then what?" He took another step closer, and you could see the genuine confusion in his eyes. “What is going on?”
"It's about what you don't do, Satoru." The words escaped before you could stop them, tumbling out in a rush of frustration and longing. "What you never do."
He blinked. "What I don't do?"
You gestured helplessly between the two of you. "This. Whatever this is. You fix my pipes and paint my house and take me ice skating. You look at me sometimes like—" You paused. "But then nothing. You never... you never try to..."
"You think I don't want to kiss you," he said.
"Well, what am I supposed to think? You spend every waking moment at my house, you bring me coffee every stupid day, you watch movies with me and like, you buy me cute little scarves and, I mean—who does that?”
You were pacing now, your frustration building as months of confusion spilled out. Snowflakes swirled around you as you moved, melting against your flushed cheeks.
"Do you have any idea how confusing that is? One minute you're touching my face like you can't help yourself, the next you're acting like we're just neighbours working on a house together. Am I imagining things? Are you just being nice? Is there something wrong with me—"
Your rant was suddenly cut short as Satoru closed the distance between you in two quick steps. His hands came up to frame your face and before you could process what was happening, his lips were on yours. His mouth was warm despite the cold, his lips soft but insistent against yours, effectively shutting down every coherent thought.
You stood frozen for a split second before your body caught up with reality. Then you kissed him back, your hands fisting in his coat, pulling him closer as his thumbs gently stroked your cheeks. The kiss deepened, his tongue teasing yours as one of his hands slid to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair.
When he finally pulled back, you were both breathing hard, little clouds forming in the cold air between you, his hands still cupping your face.
"For the record," he said, his voice deeper and rougher than you'd ever heard it, "I've wanted to do that since the moment I steadied your ladder that first day. Every time I've been in a room with you. Every time you've chewed your lip while concentrating on something. Every damn time you've worn my chequered shirt".
You blinked up at him, still dazed from the kiss. "Then why didn't you?"
"Because I was trying to be a gentleman." His thumb traced your lower lip, still sensitive from his kiss. "Because I didn't want to complicate things when you were already dealing with so much. Because I wanted to be sure you felt the same way." A small, self-ironic smile touched his lips. "And because every time I worked up the courage, I'd get lost in those eyes of yours and forget how words work."
"So instead you taught me about crown molding?"
"I'm better with my hands than with words," he admitted, then immediately looked chagrined at the unintended innuendo. "That's not what I—"
This time, you cut him off, rising on your tiptoes to press your lips to his. He responded immediately, his arms wrapping around your waist and lifting you slightly so you fit perfectly against him as snowflakes continued to fall around you.
"For future reference," you said as you broke the kiss, "I'd much rather you kiss me than explain proper grouting techniques."
"Noted."
Without another word, he scooped you up in his arms, one hand supporting your back, the other beneath your knees, and carried you towards your front door with the same effortless strength he'd shown lifting drywall and moving furniture.
"The door," you reminded him, fumbling with your keys.
"I've got it." He somehow managed to balance you perfectly while taking the keys and unlocking the door. "I'm very good with my hands, remember?"
Satoru carried you over the threshold and kicked the door shut behind him. Snowflakes melted in his white hair as he set you down in the dim entryway, but he didn't step back, holding you between his body and the wall.
"You have no idea how many times I've imagined this." His hands slid up your sides as his mouth claimed yours once more. "How many nights I've lain awake across the street, thinking about you in this house."
And you nearly fainted as you imagined him in his house across the stress, thinking about you, his hand down his pants and—
"Every room in this house," he said, his voice rough as he pushed your coat from your shoulders. "I've thought about having you in every single one."
"We did renovate them all." Your voice faltered as his lips found your neck, trailing kisses down to the sensitive spot where it met your shoulder. "Seems only fair we should... test our work."
"I think I’d like that." His hands slid beneath your sweater, warm against your chilled skin as they traced up your sides. Your own fingers tangled in his snow dampened hair, pulling him back to your mouth for a kiss that quickly burned away any remaining cold.
"Bedroom?"
"Too far," you breathed, already tugging at his sweater. "Besides, we just redid the living room couch."
He smiled. In one fluid motion, he lifted you again, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you towards the living room. The last snowflakes in his hair melted as he lowered you onto the couch you'd spent three weekends reupholstering together. His body covered yours perfectly, like he belonged there, had always belonged there.
And as the snow continued to fall outside, covering your Victorian home in a pristine blanket of white, Satoru Gojo finally showed you exactly what his hands were capable of—proving once and for all that some things were worth the wait.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
Spring arrived with a gentle persistence, coaxing crocuses from the soil and washing away the last traces of winter. Your Victorian house looked lovely in the morning light, its sage green paint gleaming, and its porch ready for the warmer days ahead.
The sound of knocking preceded Satoru's arrival, followed by a short pause and his usual sigh when he'd remembered he had keys, before his familiar footsteps echoed across the parquet floors you'd refinished together. You were in the kitchen, still in your pyjamas, going over the plans for the sunroom you'd decided to add to the back of the house.
"Morning," Satoru called, appearing in the doorway with his usual—two coffee cups balanced in one hand, a small paper bag of pastries in the other. His white hair was slightly dishevelled, as if he'd rushed out without taking the time to comb it properly.
"You know you don't have to knock anymore," you said as he handed you the coffee. "You have a key."
"Force of habit." He pressed a quick kiss to your temple before sliding into the chair next to you. "Besides, what if you were up to something scandalous?"
"At seven in the morning?"
"I distinctly remember yesterday morning getting pretty scandalous. And the day before that—”
Heat rushed to your cheeks as memories flooded back of the way he'd pinned your wrists above your head with one hand while the other explored your body with agonizing slowness. The way he'd whispered in your ear exactly what he was planning to do to you, his voice dropping to that low register that always made you shiver. The way he'd taken his time, so thorough in his attention that you'd been reduced to breathless pleas before he finally gave you what you needed and—okay, stop. Not now.
Three months into your relationship, and he still made you blush like a stupid teenager—among other things.
"Those were special circumstances," you said, trying not to smile.
"Oh yeah? What kind of special circumstances?"
"You brought croissants." You peeked into today's bag, ignoring his teasing. "Are these the chocolate ones from that bakery downtown?"
"Maybe." He smiled, watching you with that soft expression that still made your heart skip. "I had an early video call with our research partners about the new pharmaceutical trial. Thought I'd pick up breakfast on the way back."
You paused, coffee halfway to your lips. "Wait, you already had your meeting? I thought that wasn't until nine."
"Started at five." He shrugged, stealing a piece of your pastry. "The Munich lab had some promising results they wanted to discuss right away. Worked out, though—wanted to catch you before you got too deep into those sunroom plans."
Warmth blossomed in your chest. In the months since that snowy night on your porch, Satoru had slowly woven himself into every aspect of your life. He still brought you coffee every morning, still helped with renovations, still looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
The only difference was that he now often spent the night, his clothes gradually migrating into your wardrobe, and his shower gel suddenly appeared one day in your bathroom. Even his microbiology textbooks and research papers had found their way onto your coffee table, his lab notes sometimes mixed in with your renovation plans.
"Speaking of the sunroom," he continued, "I think the windows we recently found in the attic would look great in there. The original glass has that slight waviness that would catch the light beautifully."
"I was thinking the same thing." You slid the blueprints towards him. "I've been playing with the dimensions to make sure they'd fit."
He leaned closer, his shoulder pressing against yours. "This looks perfect. Though we might need to adjust the framing here to account for the original hardware."
You smiled at his use of “we”—so natural now, so right. Every project had become a shared undertaking, every decision made together.
"By the way," he began, "I've been thinking—"
"A dangerous pastime for you."
"I'm serious." He took a breath, suddenly looking uncharacteristically nervous. "The house is looking amazing. We've fixed almost everything that needed fixing."
"Except that creaky step on the back stairs," you reminded him.
"And the slight warp in the pantry door," he added.
"And the—"
"Okay, so there's still a list." He laughed. "But my point is, we've done so much work here. Together."
"We have," you agreed, wondering where he was going with this.
He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it further. "Meanwhile, my house is just sitting there. I'm barely even there anymore except to grab clothes or check if anyone's stolen my mail."
Your heart began to beat faster as you caught his meaning. "Satoru Gojo, are you trying to say something specific?"
“What if we just... you know, focused on one house instead of two?" His eyes met yours, vulnerable in a way you rarely saw. "Maybe focusing on just one house instead of maintaining two?"
"Are you asking to move in together?" You couldn't help the smile spreading across your face.
"Well, technically I'm asking which house we want to live in. Though I'm kind of partial to this one. We've put so much of ourselves into it."
You twisted in your chair to face him fully. "You'd leave your perfect house with its perfect kitchen and perfect view?"
"My perfect house feels empty without you in it." The simple honesty in his voice made your throat tight with emotion. "Besides, this house has better bones."
"Yes," you said, sliding your arms around his neck. "Yes to consolidating our renovation efforts. Yes to deciding which house. Yes to all of it."
"You sure? I know you like your space and I don't want to, like, suffocate you or—"
You cut him off with a kiss, soft and sweet and tasting of chocolate pastries. "Satoru, you've been in my space since the day you showed up to fix my stupid leaky pipe. At this point, it doesn't feel like my space without you in it."
He rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed for a moment. When he looked at you again, there was that softness, that tenderness that still made your heart flip.
"I love you," he said simply. "In case that wasn't clear."
"I figured that out somewhere between you painting my entire house during that insane heatwave."
He laughed, the sound echoing in the kitchen you'd rebuilt together. "And here I thought it was my extensive knowledge of old pipes that won you over."
"That helped," you admitted, fingers playing with his hair. "Though it was really your hands that sealed the deal."
"My hands, huh?"
"Mmhmm." You pressed closer, coffee and blueprints momentarily forgotten. "Very skilled hands."
"Well" he murmured, those hands already finding their way under your pajama top, "some things deserve special attention to detail.”
"Are we seriously still doing renovation metaphors?"
He laughed and pressed a kiss to your neck. "Some traditions are worth keeping."
Later, as sunlight streamed through your kitchen windows—windows he'd helped you restore months ago when you were still pretending to be just neighbours—you lay tangled together on the kitchen floor.
"You know," you said, tracing patterns on his chest, "your house does have that amazing bathtub."
"True." He pressed a kiss to your hair. "But this house has you."
You smiled against his skin. “We could always redo the bathroom here. Get an even better tub."
"I like how you think." His arms tightened around you. "Though we'd need to check the floor supports first, maybe upgrade the plumbing—"
You propped yourself up on one elbow to look at him, at this impossible man who'd somehow become your everything.
"I love you," you said simply. "Even when you're being a total renovation nerd."
His smile was soft, genuine, the smile he saved just for you. "Especially then?"
"Especially then."
Outside, spring painted the neighborhood with fresh green. But inside, in this house you'd brought back to life together, you'd found something even better—a future you were building together, room by room, day by day, one cup of morning coffee at a time.
masterlist + support my writing
author's note — omggg, we made it through all four seasons and a complete house renovation ! kept thinking while writing that the most unrealistic thing about this story is not satoru gojo being a perfect neighbour and fixing leaky pipes for us, but owning a house in this economy lol.
anyway, thank you so much for reading this silly little story and i hope it brought you as much joy as it did me while writing it. until next time ! <3
ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here.
tags — @fayuki @starmapz @snowsilver2000 @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna
@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @sugurbo @janbannan
@bloopsstuff @ihearttoru @momoewn @yokosandesu @90s-belladonna
@fairygardenprincesss @juneslove21 @glenkiller338 @gojossugarcandy @wiserion
@moucheslove @nanasukii28 @sugucultfollower @leuriss @raendarkfaerie
© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
Everyday the realist and the romanticist inside me fight.
The realist thinks that MBTI doesn’t hold any scientific evidence of being more reliable than astrology or lie detector tests.
The romanticist blossoms because I share the same personality type as my favorite classical literature authors, painters and musicians.
I think the romanticist wins most of the time.
JUJUTSU KAISEN FIC RECS MASTERLIST // mdni!
Satoru Gojo Sfw Gojo fics
Suguru Geto Sfw Geto fics
SatoSugu
Shoko Ieiri
Kento Nanami
Toji Fushiguro
Shiu Kong
Choso
Takuma Ino
Hiromi Higuruma
Ryomen Sukuna
Kiyotaka Ijichi
Pervs! pt 1
Pervs! pt 2
Megumi Fushiguro -sfw :3
Yuji Itadori -sfw :3
—# character(s): touya todoroki x reader
—# word count: 15,240
—# cw/tw: female reader (AFAB anatomy, femme pet names/pronouns), major spoilers for manga chapter 290, heavy religious imagery of angels/gods/heaven, one (1) instance of sir kink, so so much hurt/comfort, several mentions of past family abuse and trauma, mild blood and gore (dabi tending to new burns/scars), verbal argument that has dabi breaking furniture (reader does not get hurt) and being an overall asshole, alcohol use (dabi is drunk and emotional), soft desperate-to-be-loved-but-too-scared-to-ask dabi, oral and fingering (f!receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, very soft and emotional smut
The first time you call Dabi by his name, he swears he sees a halo floating above your head, glitter cascading down the face he’s spent months memorizing and the body he would consider his home if he deemed himself worthy.
He never knew a thing that has brought him so much pain, so much agony, something he thought was forever cursed to be a shameful thing to hide behind skeletons in dusty closets could sound so sweet, so tender, so gentle.
But he supposes every world that falls out of the mouth of an angel is bound to sound heavenly.
His limbs are tangled with yours, his head is pressed against your shoulder in hopes that maybe you can share the burden that lies on his, his heart has been cut out of his chest and locked in yours for safe keeping, and yet he can’t believe you still manage to find ways to rock him down to his very core. You’re a saint, something so ethereal and otherworldly he never thought his temporal hands would have a chance to touch you, and yet you still choose a sinner over your throne in the clouds.
It’s a miracle, really, his tainted soul hasn’t scared you off yet. Maybe you’re just as stubborn as he is. Maybe you see him as a charity case. Maybe, just maybe, you do love him and all of his broken pieces no matter how much they bite at your skin and dye them the color of mortals. And the fact that you can say his name with so much purity—as if it really is just another typical Friday evening spent together after a week of trying to bring hero society down and not you changing everything he knows about that goddamn name—just shows how much he doesn’t deserve you.
“What did you call me?” he asks, his face never daring to leave the crook of your neck in fear of you seeing the vulnerability in his eyes, but he can’t hide it from his voice. He knows how he sounds—knows he sounds like a child lost in a world that is far too vast for him to comprehend. Blood rushes in his ears, his hands shake as they grip your hips, blunt fingernails digging into your flesh in a vain attempt to starve off the longing that is filling his bones. It’s consuming him—chewing through calcium and turning it to mere dust between greedy enamel that only knows how to feed on what little affection he receives.
Your fingers lace themselves in his hair, a signal to let him know he’s safe, he’s okay, there’s no reason to sharpen his tongue and forge his armor around you. His heart is starved of love and you’re more than happy to flood it with so much dedication he fears it may burst out of his chest—worthless bones unable to contain all of the emotions he’s tried so hard to keep locked away. “I called you by your name. Is that okay?”
“I don’t know.”
And it isn’t because he doesn’t want you to know his name. He’s already announced it to the world. Of course, you’re going to know it. It certainly isn’t because he hates the way your lips so easily form the two syllables. It isn’t because he no longer wants to associate himself with the name.
He’s simply afraid of his greedy soul becoming attached to the way you somehow manage to make something that used to cause his skin to crawl now bring his heart a peace he’s never known before he saw your face.
“Can I call you it again?”
And you sound so uncertain, so scared you’ve prodded at bruises you didn’t even know existed, terrified of reopening a wound you’ve tried to stitch up before it bled all over your hands, that he can’t help but pull his face away from its safe space and rest his sapphire eyes on yours. Though they shake, he still runs his fingers along your lower lip and tugs so he can look at your teeth and all of the words sitting in them. You look as nervous as he feels. He’ll never tell you that, however, will never let you know how much power a simple word has over him—how much power you have over him. He’s a murderer with an agenda who has allowed rebellion and anger to corrupt his burning body. He can’t let something as fickle as love distract him from his end goal.
But sometimes, he thinks, it might be okay to allow himself to be loved, especially when you make it seem so simple.
“Just don’t get used to it, sweetcheeks,” he muses, a mask of ease sliding over his face and pulling your body closer to his. “That version of me died long ago.”
“Maybe we can resurrect him,” you whisper into his hair, and it’s then when he realizes he lost control long ago when it comes to you.
And before he can snap back that he killed it himself, you gently kiss the tips of his fingers with a touch so tender, his lungs forget how to function properly.
Still, he manages to mutter, “Some things are better left dead. No use in trying to bring something back to life that wants to stay dead.”
“But what if it never had a chance to live?”
“Then it makes grieving a lot easier. Less memories. Less things to be sad about.”
“Or it makes it more of a tragedy.” And it’s so gentle as how you say it, full of such sorrow for a man you never got to meet. The grief in your eyes pulls at his heartstrings until they’re completely unraveled, put on display for your pure eyes to dissect and analyze, and for once in his life, he isn’t afraid.
Still, only fools allow themselves to be distracted by emotions, and Dabi is anything but a fool. Using his body weight against yours, he easily flips your bodies over so you’re now straddling him, his rough hands ghosting over your soft skin and all of the imperfections he loves so much. His fingers easily find the places that turn you into a whimpering mess above him, and he regains the control he thought he lost long ago.
“C’mon, babe, I had a rough week. Let’s not talk about it, yeah? Let me just make you feel good. Doesn’t that sound so nice? Crying from my cock instead of a stupid name?” Before you can protest, he slips his thumb past your lips and presses it against your tongue, effectively rendering you speechless as you reflexively begin sucking on the digit. “Now that’s a good girl. Let’s not worry about something stupid, okay? Now, what’s my name?”
“Sir,” you moan out around his hand, drool coating his palm in a lewd way that causes all of the blood to rush to his dick.
“That’s the only name I care about.”
The second time you call Dabi by his name, he remembers why it brings him so much pain.
It was such an odd thing to get angry about. After everything he’s done, the stunts he’s pulled, the countless times he’s burned his body trying to set others ablaze, you choose to get mad over the fact that he had to go radio silent for two weeks to keep you out of the attention of those who want to take him down. It’s nothing new, nothing you haven’t been through before. Hell, he’s had to disappear for a month before, and you welcomed him back with open arms.
So why? Why get angry now? Why do your eyes hold such hostility when looking at him? It’s something he’s grown accustomed to from strangers, from heroes who claim to fight for the greater good, from family members who forget the past, from colleagues who don’t agree with his extreme ideals. But from you? Such a thing could bring a man to his knees and grovel for forgiveness.
But not Dabi. Never Dabi. Dabi doesn’t bow to anyone—not even angels with pretty wings and glowing halos.
“What’s the big fucking deal?” he scoffs and plants himself in one of your kitchen chairs, an apple in his hand and a neutral expression on his face to hide the pain burning at his guts. “So what, I had to lay low for a little while? In case that pretty little head of yours forgot: I’m a goddamn villain and you, good samaritan, are not.”
“The big fucking deal, Touya,” you reply through clenched teeth, hands balls in fists and shaking at your sides, “is you just exposed the number one hero in Japan and then disappear for two weeks. I thought you died. I thought they locked you up and threw away the fucking key.”
The sapphires in his skull alight with a fire you haven’t seen in a while, and he grumbles dangerously low, “Don’t think you can just sling that name around to get a reaction out of me, doll, because you ain’t gonna like what’ll happen.” before taking a bite out of his apple.
Closing the space between your bodies, you smack the cursed fruit out of his hand, demanding his attention be solely on you, your chest pressed against his, noses nearly touching as you bare your fangs down at him in hopes he’ll back down. He doesn’t, of course. Instead, he stands right up, towering over you, chair clattering to the floor from the sheer speed of him getting on his feet, his own fangs on display and covered in blood.
“Oh? What’s gonna happen?” you challenge. “Are you gonna disappear? Make me think you’re dying in a goddamn gutter? Or maybe you’ll reveal your identity on live TV for all of Japan to see, expose your family for the abuse and trauma they put you through, also out the number two hero as a fucking murderer, and then randomly not answer any of my calls or texts for two weeks and leave me here to wonder what the absolute fuck is going on? Oh wait, you already did that.”
When Dabi speaks, it’s a voice he barely even recognizes, a voice he’s only heard in the back of his head and never dared to speak aloud—unhinged, angry, scared. A voice he never, ever thought would be directed towards you. But you’re so stubborn, so hellbent on babying a man who has been on his own since he was a child. Though, he supposes he has no one to blame but himself. He is, after all, a goddamn villain, and you, good samaritan, are not.
“What the fuck else am I supposed to do?” The voice shakes with a fear he’s never wanted to show, a fear of losing you—the only thing he’s ever considered worth saving. “Do you want Endeavor, my father, to come knocking at your door looking for me? Or maybe you want Hawks sending one of his stupid goddamn feathers in here to eavesdrop on you? Want the entire fucking hero commission here tearing your place apart? Do you want to go to prison because...because—” Because I love you.
It hangs in the air between your heaving bodies—a secret he thought he had kept close to his heart, but, looking into your tear-filled eyes, knows that his heart has always been on his sleeve around you. There’s no hiding anything from you because you’ve spent hours, days, weeks, months listening to all of the whispers trapped inside fragile bones and stringing together memories locked away inside of an unstable mind. You knew him before he even knew himself.
His eyes flit around your face in search of any signs of fleeting, any telltales of abandoning him now that you’ve seen all of his ugliness. Because love is such an ugly thing. Love makes people burn their bodies from the inside out just so someone will finally gaze at their flames. Love makes people spend years with the wrong person in hopes that one day they’ll receive the affections they’ve been craving all along. Love makes people foolish, irrational, idiotic. And Dabi has always considered himself smarter than the average man.
The anger in your eyes has dissipated down to pain, and he isn’t sure which one he preferred more. Your hand comes up to cup his cheeks, and he allows it for a breath’s moment before smacking it away as if it were offensive somehow, the limb falling limply by your side before balling into a fist. Anger returns, and it’s then he decides he’d rather have the anger than the hurt. It’s easier to cause a heart rate to spike than it is to stitch a wound.
“Because why, Dabi? Why the hell would I go to prison?” you dare to ask.
“Because we fuck around and they’d be able to trace you back to me.”
The words fall from his lips faster than he can catch them, splattering against your skin with an acid strong enough to strip you down to the bone, put on display and scared of scarring as it eats away at your body. It’s too late for regrets when he sees your eyes cloud over with an agony he can’t even begin to decipher. It wasn’t supposed to hurt you. It was supposed to piss you off, to rebuild the walls he allowed you to carefully deconstruct. He was supposed to make you hate him, to make you forget what the definition of love is and associate his face with villainous tasks not for the faint of heart.
He wasn’t supposed to hurt you.
“So that’s all this is?” you whisper, lowering your head and tucking your fangs back into your gums for safe-keeping. Your voice is strikingly low, quiet even, but that doesn’t stop each word from lacerating at Dabi’s barely-beating heart. “I’m just some fuck to you? Like the days I’ve spent rubbing your back because you drank too much the night before didn’t mean shit? Or the nights we’ve spent telling each other secrets and talking about a future without corrupted heroes was all just fun and games for you? None of it meant anything? I didn’t mean anything? Is that what you’re saying, Dabi?”
Venom sits in his enamel, eroding his tongue and any semblance of self-control he had.
It burns, it burns, it burns.
He thought he’d be used to burning by now—burning forests, burning bodies, burning himself. To be alive is to set yourself on fire, and Dabi bares the scars of his livelihood. It’s all he knows, all he was taught by a man who was determined to have the brightest flame the world has ever seen.
It burns, it burns, it burns.
Touya died in a self-inflicted fire set ablaze by a child who only wanted his father’s love and attention. Is Dabi going to die by yet another fire set ablaze by a man who doesn’t know how to allow himself to be loved?
It burns, it burns, it burns.
It burns to see you so hurt. It burns to know he’s the reason behind it. It burns to look in your cold eyes and see his own angry reflection in them. It burns to see your fists shake and wonder if you’re imagining driving them into his cheeks. It burns to know that he’s losing another home because even now, after all of these years, he still isn’t good enough.
The table sitting next to him splinters into a thousand little pieces as he drives his fist through the wood, all of his frustration and anger towards himself channeled into his bony knuckles. You don’t even flinch at the action, and that only seems to anger him even more. “I didn’t ask you to do any of that shit! You volunteered, in case you forgot, sweetcheeks. I didn’t come knocking at your door asking you to take care of me. You invited me in. You offered me a place to stay. You gave me food to eat, hot water to bathe in, a bed to sleep in. And what the fuck was I supposed to say? ‘Oh, no thank you, hot stranger, I’ll just stay homeless and sleep with rats in a cardboard box’?”
“You didn’t have to pretend to love me,” you shout back, eyes flitting around like a wild animal, fists trembling at your side, chest heaving as if you just ran a mile. “You didn’t have to rip yourself open and put on this whole ‘poor me, poor Dabi’ act if that’s how you really feel. You could’ve just been some typical useless roommate who pops in every now and then. You didn’t have to pretend. You...you didn’t have to lie to me.”
“Wait, I—”
“Oh, no, no it’s fine, Dabi. It’s fine. I’m the one who got caught up in their feelings. It was my mistake. I put way more thought into this than you did. It’s fine, really.”
But it isn’t fine. None of this is fine. The crystals forming in your eyes aren’t fine. The wounds splitting open on your chest aren’t fine. Your shaking hands and tight knuckles aren’t fine. His bleeding heart isn’t fine. His bulging throat clogged with every word he wished he could say isn’t fine. His fists filled with splitters and emotions aren’t fine.
Nothing is fine.
But you’re so determined to protect the treasure in your chest you thought was safe in the hands of a thief (what a foolish, naive thing to think, really), that you’re willing to believe any lie. As long as it’s sweeter than the bitter truth, it’ll go down easier. Deep down, you know the reality behind all of the smoke and mirrors, know it before Dabi runs over to your side with his puppy-dog eyes and dulled flames, have known it since the first time the criminal fell asleep in your arms: he trusts you. And that, for Dabi, means more than something as fleeting as love. Granted, lingering somewhere in that scarred heart of his, you know he loves you. He wouldn’t keep coming around if he didn’t. He wouldn’t steal for you, sneak away from his group for you, try (and fail miserably) to cook for you, include you in his plans, allow you to call him by his name… But loving something as explosive as Dabi means you’re bound to get burned at some point, and you have a funny feeling you’re going to need some salve tonight.
“I...I didn’t mean it like that,” Dabi rushes to reassure you, his hands trying their hardest to find the wounds he caused even though he doesn’t know the first thing about healing. “I just… I’m not the best when it comes to this emotional bullshit, y'know?”
Flinching away from his touch, you whisper, “I think you should go.”
“C’mon, doll—”
“I mean it, Dabi.” Your voice is firmer now, steadier, and you wrap your arms protectively around your body.
“You’re kidding, right?” he incredulously replies. “I didn’t mean it. You’ve gotta believe me, doll. It was just something stupid that slipped out, and you’re gonna kick me to the curb for it? Just toss me aside after everything we’ve been through? After everything I’ve told you? I let you call me my fucking name, and you’re cutting me out over a dumbass mistake?”
And right behind his sapphire eyes, tucked away in the corners of his skull, he can see the white hot flames again, burning away at the tips of his fingers, dancing across his tongue and leaving blisters, new scars decorating his heart and flooding his lungs. He’s choking and sputtering, and though he knows he has the power to stop them, he can’t help but lose himself in the familiar sensation. It feels good to be on fire again. It’s home, it’s all he knows, it’s all he can truly feel—just fire, fire, fire.
Dabi, if nothing, is a man meant to burn. He was born with a flame his body can barely contain, and he’s determined to allow the world to burn with him.
And though he knows how close he was to finding a new home in your bones, and he knows how close he was to having his sins forgiven and the bloods on his hands washed off, he knows he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve any of the smiles flashed at him, any of the seconds spent in your arms, any of the kisses exchanged between hungry mouths, any of the secrets placed on his lips for safe-keeping, any of the butterflies fluttering in his guts.
He was made for destruction, and he’ll die for it as well.
And though he doesn’t want to hurt you, he knows it’s inevitable. Fire doesn’t discriminate against who it burns. He’s living, breathing evidence of that.
When your eyes meet, he can already see the scars forming over them, can see his handprint seared onto the cornea and a new cautionary tale for you: never trust the man with blue eyes to match his blue flames.
“It’s time to go, Dabi,” you state, jaw fixed and twitching with anger.
He sneers down at you, “Don’t you mean Touya?”
“He died a long time ago, remember?”
You might as well slapped him in the face, spat in his eye, curse his name and everything he stands for. It hurts more than his own flames ever will—the ice in your scarred eyes, the gates closing around your soul, your fingers curling in on themselves, your lips sewing themselves shut. You’re closing yourself off to him, and he has no idea what to do now that you’ve changed all of the locks and threw away the keys. He’s over, done with, nothing more than the same traumatized child willing to burn himself alive just to have someone look at him for more than a second.
He’s Touya Todoroki: young, naive, driven, boisterous, eager to see the world and be a part of it, ready to prove himself worthy of being born.
He’s Dabi: self-destructive, sadistic, crude, violent, determined to tear the world apart, ready to prove how hypocritical heroes truly are.
He’s neither: scared, lost, unsure if he ever really was any of that, not quite the boy who wanted his father’s love but not quite the man who wanted to destroy him, unsteady on his feet as he tries to find his place in this ever-shifting world.
He’s both: driven, self-destructive, naive, eager to see the world, determined to tear it apart, ready to prove himself worthy of being born and show how hypocritical heroes truly are.
He doesn’t know who he is anymore, who he wants to be.
All he knows is you’ve given up on him, and that hurts more than any flame that has touched his skin before.
He leaves without another word, no more venom flung at you to add to the scars he’s left, no more furniture broken with shaking fists and scabbed knuckles, no more fiery eyes and sharp tongues. Just a man who has lost the only home he ever truly had.
The third time you call Dabi his name, he learns that love, as dangerous as it is, can heal even the deepest of wounds, and he’s ready to rid himself of the scars that have haunted his skin for as long as he dares to remember.
He isn’t sure how he’s wound up in front of your apartment, rain pouring down on him because his life was never a cliche until he met you, alcohol sitting heavy in his stomach and grounding his feet, new burns spreading across his abdomen and tainting what little skin he has left. He doesn’t want you to see them. He doesn’t want your fingers to trace the spaces his flames have violated and stained with their hatred. He doesn’t want your eyes to flash with pity as they scan him. He doesn’t want your lips to turn down into a frown when you open your door and see his soaked body, crooked grin on his face because everything about him is a little crooked, old staples missing and new ones in new places, his chest cracked open and put on display for you.
He isn’t sure what he’s hoping to get out of this surprise visitation. A part of him hopes to see you angry, because if you’re angry you care, and he isn’t sure how fit he is for a world where you no longer care about him. A part of him hopes to see you apathetic, because that would confirm the belief he isn’t worth anything anymore, and that would make destroying himself a little easier. Another, smaller part of him, hopes to see you happy, to see relief wash your features and erase the fight you two had about love and other fickle things. It might be impossible at this point, but he’s never been one for easy goals.
All Dabi truly knows, however, is he wants to see you. It’s really as simple as that, and though he isn’t a simple man and doesn’t like simple things, the desire to see you is that—simple. It’s been haunting him since he stumbled out of your apartment blinded with anger and fear. How long has it been since he’s stood here? A week? Two weeks? A month? Time becomes such a messy thing when it’s spent trying to find the next surefire way to burn your bones.
Despite the clothes clinging to his skin, he feels naked, stripped of all of his armor and put on display for you to use and dispose however you please. Dabi isn’t the type to come crawling back to places he isn’t wanted. He’d much rather fake his own death and fly under the radar for years until he’s long forgotten about. But Dabi has also never been the type to look at the stars and try to find someone’s name written in them. He’s never been the type to try to find a face in a sea of people bustling about their days without having to worry about how they’re going to make the world know about them. He’s never tried to find meaning in the clouds or why some planets revolve around stars together while others just crash into each other.
But then he met you and suddenly, he cared. He cared about why some birds hid from the rain while others embraced it. He cared about why stars liked to hide and where they disappeared to. He cared about why some wounds healed and served as a cautionary tale and why others stuck around and served as a personality trait. He cared about Touya Todoroki—the boy whose only dream was to be what his father wanted and to be loved by those who were in his life. And that, he thinks, is the scariest thing he’s ever done. To hate is easy, it’s simple, and though he’s not a simple man and doesn’t like simple things, he loved it. He loved being able to burn those who hurt him and have his world be as simple as: if it isn’t beneficial, turn it to ashes. Black and white and blue. That’s all it was.
Then he saw you look at him as if he had personally strung the stars in the sky for you and suddenly, the universe seemed a lot bigger than sick mothers and neglectful fathers.
He still doesn’t quite understand it and, truth be told, he doesn’t think he ever wants to understand it. For once in his life, he’s okay with leaving this mystery unsolved. He’s okay with having more questions than answers. He’s okay with having an unfinished puzzle and not turning over furniture looking for the right piece to complete the picture.
As long as he has you, he’s okay with finding out who Touya could have been before he burned him to ashes.
The light from your apartment floods his sensitive eyes when you swing the door open, and he almost misses the confusion that flashes across your face before you settle for a guarded expression.
“What are you doing here?” It, like most things, is a simple question, but it still hurts nonetheless, especially when paired with your arms crossing over your body and your tone pointedly flat.
And, like most things, the answer is simple: “I wanted to see you, baby.”
You quirk an eyebrow up, but the rest of you remains emotionless, detached. “Baby? That’s a new one.”
He grins. “I’ve been trying out a lot of new things lately.”
“Oh? Like what?”
“Oh, you know, calling you baby. Sleeping by myself. Not killing everyone who pisses me off. Admitting when I fuck up.”
What little bemusement you allow to seep through is promptly sealed shut behind a frown, and you wrap your arms tighter around your torso in an effort to protect yourself from his charm. “You can’t just show up here and apologize and think that fixes everything. You really hurt me, Dabi.”
“But you haven’t heard the other new things I’ve been trying.”
You huff, knowing once Dabi has his sights on something it’s near impossible to distract him. He’s headstrong, determined, and that’s one of the many reasons you fell in love with him (and got burned for it). “Fine, I’ll listen. But we aren’t doing it out here in the rain. I’m cold and tired and want to finish my tea.”
For the first time in weeks, you allow him in your home, and it pains him how much hasn’t changed. While his entire world was falling apart, the same shoes have stayed by your front door, the same throw blanket has been strewn across the back of your couch, the same kettle sits on your stovetop, the same jackets hang on your coat rack, and you’ve even managed to find the same table to replace the one he smashed. Your life has remained the same without him, and that is something worth shedding a tear over if he could.
He tries to sit on your couch, but you quickly stop him. “You’re soaking wet,” you reason, and motion for him to go to the bathroom. “I think I have some of your old clothes around here somewhere. Wait there and I’ll bring them to you.”
Thankfully, your compassion has remained the same as well. As he stands in your small bathroom built for one person, rain and the last of his ego dripping off of him, he’s reminded of the first time your paths crossed, when he passed out in an alleyway due to overuse of his quirk and woke up in a bed that smelled like tea leaves, old books, and love. He remembers wandering into the kitchen and finding you humming to yourself, a robe wrapped tightly around your body, two mugs of tea on your table, comfort radiating off of your skin and flooding the tiny space. He remembers how high you had jumped when you realized he had woken up, how quickly you rushed to make sure he knew where the bathroom was and how to properly work your shower so he may bathe, how you had a plate full of food ready for him when he returned to your kitchen a clean man.
He remembers asking you why let a strange, scary-looking man who was unconscious in a shady alley sleep in your home, and you simply replied over your mug, “because you look like someone who doesn’t receive help often.” It was so simple then, and he wasn’t used to simplicity. So ke kept coming around, trying to unravel the mystery of why such a sweet person would help such a tainted one, kept asking questions and prodding at your brain in hopes that maybe he’d find out you’re just as sick as he is. That was never the case, of course. It was and always has been as simple as you being a good person and him being someone in need of a home.
He’s drunk and nostalgic, which is not a good combination for men with shattered souls and too many scars to keep track of and generous people with giving hearts and healing words. And although a part of him feels as if he’s taking advantage of the kindness you have shown him, he can’t bring himself to feel guilty. Maybe it’s the selfish animal in his heart that refuses to release its sharp teeth. Maybe it’s how even after all of these months spent together, you manage to find a way to surprise him. Maybe, just maybe, he’s finally ready to accept the love you’ve been offering him. Whatever it is that’s fueling this selfish desire to lock you away in his chest, nestled right between his lungs, safe from the others with sharp teeth and even sharper tongues, he’s allowing it to roam free and take whatever it wants.
He strips himself of his clothing just in time for you to knock at the door, your gentle voice ringing through the wood. “I found some clothes.”
“Well, bring ‘em in,” he replies.
“Are you naked?”
He rolls his eyes, though you can’t see him. “C’mon, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”
“But—”
“Just open the door, baby.”
His voice is soft as he says it—so soft, in fact, you aren’t sure if you heard him correctly. But you did, and you’re more than aware of the fact that you’re about to see him soaked down to the bone and as naked as the moon in the sky. Hesitantly, you open the door just enough to accommodate your arm, and right when you slide your handful of clothes through the crack, Dabi’s fingers brush against yours. Electricity runs down your skin—hot, familiar, exhilarating. It steals the breath from your lungs, makes you feel as if the wooden floor beneath your feet is shifting, reminds you of how good it felt to have his rough skin pressed against yours. It’s far too tempting to rip the door open and drink in the sight of the man who holds your heart in his scarred palm, and if you still weren’t so hurt over his words, you might have. You almost think Dabi is going to do it, but, much to your surprise, he doesn’t.
“Do you mind closing the door? The draft is a little cold.” He isn’t being ornery about it. There’s no sneer to his voice. He’s almost...kind about it. Tender. Something you never thought you would associate with the man who just weeks ago plotted to murder his younger brother in order to seek revenge against his father.
You nearly slam in the door in your haste to close it and stutter out, “S-Sorry!” before scrambling to your couch. Whoever this Dabi is, you aren’t sure. The last time you saw him, he was angry, hurt, ready to burn everything he has ever known in a vain attempt to feel something other than the pain throbbing in his chest. He was a wounded animal lashing out at anything that dared to try to get close to him. He was a jaded man who never thought himself worthy of kindness. He was impulsive, impatient, self-destructive, and, above all else, vengeful. Whoever has come knocking at your door is not the man who walked out of it. This man, whoever he may be, is humble, quiet, hesitant, and retrospective.
He’s also drunk and has been out wandering in the rain.
Dabi joins you on the couch before your mind can start spinning in circles, his white hair still sticking to his face and droplets cascading down his face, sapphire orbs shining with something you can’t quite put your finger on but still shakes you down to your core. He isn’t irate. He isn’t breaking furniture or complaining about Shigaraki’s next foolish move or ranting about how Endeavor has foiled his latest plan or about how he doesn’t trust Hawks and all of his easy smiles and charming laughter. He’s calm, his hands resting on his knees and eyes resting on your face, searching for something—a sign you’re ready to listen. And despite the wounds you’re still tending to and the bandages on your skin from all of the venomous words he flung at you, your heart and mind are open and willing to take whatever he wants to give you.
It’s an odd feeling to know you’re still okay with this man and all of his thick walls and bloodied hands even after he’s shown you the part of him he keeps buried underneath sneers and a mask of disinterest. Before his temper was turn towards you, you never believed him capable of murder, of violence, of all of those plans he stays up late stringing together and comes home battered and bruised from trying to execute. Before you saw how easily his hands can destroy, he was simply Dabi: the man you found face down and drowning in his own trauma. Now there’s burn marks on your furniture and soul in the shape of his palms, and though you aren’t too sure where to take the next step, you’re still wanting to take it regardless.
Topaz flits from your lips and back up to your eyes, the crystals dripping from his snow hair causing him to look ethereal. A hesitant Dabi is a rare sight, but a beautiful one nonetheless. “Do you want—”
“You must be cold,” you blurt out, shocking the both of you.
He cocks an eyebrow and the smirk you’re all too familiar with returns to his cracked lips. You’re nervous, fluttery, nerves causing you to act more erratic and unsure of yourself. It’s cute, he thinks, cute how you go from so stubborn and closed off to a school girl trying to keep the butterflies in her stomach from crawling up her throat. It’s also a relief to see you get jumpy around him like you used to before he kissed you until your minds turned to mush and your fingers tangled with his hair and he pinned you down to your mattress, bodies tangled so tightly together he wasn’t sure where he began and where you ended. You still care. “Yeah, rain is pretty cold.”
You nod a little too eagerly. “I’ll make you some tea.”
“You go do that, doll.”
“And I can get you a blanket.”
“If you want.”
“And I can make you some food.”
“Sure. I could eat.”
“And I’ll… I’ll be back!”
“Don’t be gone too long.”
He watches you leave with a grin full of amusement and affection, and that does nothing to help ease the anxiety rolling around in your gut. You feel clumsy, skittish, for all of the wrong reasons. You want to kiss him. You want to shake the water out of his shaggy hair and pull on the ends of it while his lips attack your neck. You want to wrap your legs around his waist and feel his thighs flex underneath you as he tries to pull you as close as possible. You want to hear all of those breathless moans that tumble from his lips whenever you nibble on his collarbone. You want to lose yourself in him. Forget the anger, the hurt, the nights spent shivering because you didn’t have him next to you, the mornings spent drinking tea alone and making enough food for one person. He’s back, and you’re almost certain he was forgiven before the moon disappeared from the sky the night he left.
You can feel his eyes burning a hole in your back as you prep your kettle to boil some water, watching the way your hands shake as you turn the burner on and how you nearly drop the lid to it, and you know for a fact he has that same smirk on his lips. Why are you so damn nervous around him now? He’s buried himself in you too many times to count, has whispered the most obscene things in your ear, has seen you at your most raw and unfiltered, and now you’ve turned into a neurotic mess? Why is your stomach doing somersaults and why is your heart slamming itself in your ribcage and why does your throat feel too large for your neck?
Because this Dabi isn’t the Dabi who left. You know in the deepest parts of your guts, past the pain and the hesitance, whoever is sitting on your couch is not the man who broke your table. And even if there’s alcohol swimming in his veins and an ego in need of nursing, there’s something alarmingly self-aware twinkling in his sapphires, something that lets you know he knows. He knows he hurt you. He knows he wasn’t in the right. He knows he bit the only hand that was willing and wanting to feed him. He knows your knuckles still bare his teeth marks. He knows it’s going to take more than a simple fuck to make everything okay again. Because, for the first time, it isn’t going to be simple with you. It isn’t going to be as simple as him needing a bandage and you pulling out a first aid kit. It isn’t going to be as simple as him being angry at the world and you helping him get lost in the stars. And he’s okay with it. He’s okay reopening any wounds that didn’t heal quite right. He’s okay with spilling every single word sitting in his guts. He’s okay complicating himself if that means making things easy for you. Because, like almost everything else that has to do with you, you’re simply worth it.
He speaks up while you’re digging through your closet trying to find a blanket suitable for him, his voice laced with an odd mixture of hesitance and bemusement. “While you’re being all fidgety and shit, can I tell you the other new things I’ve been trying?”
“If you want.” You echo his previous words, careful to keep the anxiety out of your voice, as you prepare to make a meal for him.
Though you can’t see him, he smiles—a real smile for once. No sarcasm or scorn buried underneath taut muscle. A genuine smile with genuine happiness and genuine love. As scary as it is, it’s something he could get used to if he doesn’t keep himself on a leash, but he thinks he might be okay with that. “I looked at myself in the mirror the day after I left.”
That stops all of your tense movements in their tracks. Mirrors have been Dabi’s worst fear since the day you met him, because they contain his worst enemy. He’s avoided them, broken them, used the shards to puncture his heart and lacerate his lungs. He’s covered them, screamed at them, tried to erase them from his memory. To look at himself in the mirror is to face himself head-on, and that’s something you never thought you’d see. “How was that?”
He chuckles, deep and sorrowful, a sound that comes from the bittersweet emotions he’s destroyed his feet trying to run from. “I fucking hated it. I’m a real scary looking bastard, eh?”
“No.” The word tumbles out of your mouth with a resoluteness Dabi never thought himself worthy of. Your eyes are full of conviction once they meet with his, your jaw set in the way that lets him know there isn’t anything that will change your mind.
It’s adorable how deeply you think he deserves love even after he’s shown you how much it can hurt, and he can’t help but chuckle at how quickly your demeanor can change when it comes to matters like self-hate and forgiveness. “Did you lose your eyesight while I was gone? Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but I ain’t the prettiest face around here.”
You chew on your lip, careful that the words that leave your mouth help soothe the wounds on his mind. “I don’t care about your scars or your staples. I don’t care about the blood and gore. None of that matters.”
“Oh? Then what does? Because last I checked, society only likes pretty people with pretty quirks and pretty lives. Society doesn’t give a flying fuck about ugly bastards like me with ugly quirks and ugly lives.”
Dabi doesn’t expect you to answer, but you’ve always found ways to surprise him. The food on the kitchen counter is long forgotten about as you close the space between you two, your body just mere inches away from his. It’s the closest you’ve been since that night, and he has to fight the urge to pull you down on his lap. He doesn’t need to, apparently, because you’re practically sitting on it as your fingers trace over his brow bone with a touch so gentle, he could weep right then and there.
“What matters,” you whisper, “is how much your eyes shine when you laugh.” And then, your finger is tracing the corners of his mouth, ghosting over his lips. “What matters is how soft your lips are when they’re pressed on me.” And then, down the hollow of his throat down to his collarbone. “What matters is how you always smell like stale cigarettes and campfires.” And then, down his chest and right on the beginning of his abdomen. “What matters is how safe I feel when you’re holding me.” And finally, your palm rests right above his left peck, right over his hammering heart. “What matters is your passion, your drive, your determination. I don’t give a damn what society thinks about you. I think you’re beautiful, Touya.”
He knows it’s technically impossible but he swears he feels fireworks in his chest—bombastic, ribcage-breaking, heart-shattering, soul-cracking passion tearing his muscles apart until all that’s left is a body full of love. He loves you, and you think he’s beautiful, and he’s almost certain that, in this moment, everything is right in the world. “Can this beautiful man kiss you?” he breathes out, his eyes pleading with you to allow him to show you just how you’ve managed to piece him back together.
“Only if I can kiss him back,” you shyly reply.
If Dabi ever doubted the existence of angels, he knows now how terribly wrong he was, how utterly pessimistic and downright ignorant it was to doubt ethereal lives when he has one right here in his arms, sweet lips pressed against his, legs wrapped around his waist, arms pulling him closer and closer until your chests are touching and there’s not an inch of space between you two. Flashes of gold and thrones and feathers cross his mind as he breathes you in—all of the things he used to deny but now longs for. He wants to rule heaven with you, wants to make new worlds where other angels can’t follow and look down at him in disapproval, where he can’t hear their conspiratorial whispers of the saint who fell in love with the sinner, where he’s free to love you and worship you and allow his temporal hands roam your celestial body.
Dabi is a man who was born of corruption and gluttony and has fallen head over heels in love with purity and selflessness, and though he doubts he will ever think of himself worthy of such things, it won’t stop him from indulging. He is, after all, a bit greedy himself.
When his tongue brushes against yours and the taste of beer explodes in your mouth, you’re uncomfortably aware of the fact that only one of you is sober. You pull away, much to yours and his disappointment, but rest your forehead on his so you’re never too far from him. If you could, you would sew yourself to his skin, bury yourself in his bones and make a home out of his veins, play a prayer of love and devotion on loop so he knows that no matter how much heaven may shun sinners and all of their scars, you’re capable of a little rebellion every now and then.
But for now, while intoxication is a factor in a matter that should be dealt with a clear mind, you’ll settle for holding his hand.
“Dabi, you’re—”
“Drunk,” he finishes for you, a sort of sad smile on his face. “If it makes you feel better, I’m way more sober now.”
It’s a joke to help calm the guilt rolling around in your guts, you know it, and you brush your fingers against the corner of his mouth, wondering how long it’s been since he’s smiled and how often he might now. “Will you regret any of this in the morning?”
It stabs him right in the heart to hear such a question full of hesitance and apprehension asked so quietly, if he weren’t so dead set on catching every word that falls from your lips he might not have heard you. He feels the way your shoulders shake, can tell you’re just barely holding back tears, and he presses his hand to the back of your head to guide your face to the crook of his neck where you’re free to cry and hiccup however much you need. “I could never regret anything when it comes to you, baby. Why the tears?”
“I just…” A shaky sigh falls from your lips, your tears mixing with the droplets still clinging to his hair. “I thought I lost you before and now you’re back and I know technically you’re drunk but I know how sincere you are and it’s all just so—”
His fingers begin to massage circles into your shoulder blades, and he presses his lips to the side of your head, nose full of your scent and trying its best to burn it into his memory. “Babe.”
“Y-Yeah?” you hiccup.
“Fuckin’ breathe. It’s okay. It’s all okay. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here, baby, right fuckin’ here, and I’m not going anywhere. Not again. I fucked up, okay? I fucked up real bad and I know I did. I promise you, I’m not really drunk at all. I mean, I had a good buzz going on when I first showed up, but being here with you, talking with you, sobered me up real quick.”
And he sounds so genuine, so full of love and honesty, you can’t help but tangle your fingers in his hair, pull him so close you can feel his heartbeat against yours, bury your face right next to his jugular and commit mortality to memory. You cry until your eyes are almost swollen shut. You cry until your heart feels too large for your chest. You cry until your breath is a stuttering mess.
You cry for Dabi and all of the pain he’s carried around with him and no place to put it. You cry for Touya and all of the homes he’s lost and all of the times he was never enough. You cry for yourself and how deeply you love a man who only believes himself worthy of destruction. You cry for lost potential and empty promises of better tomorrows. You cry for broken furniture and shattered hearts because no one ever warned you love wasn’t easy. You cry and cry and cry until your voice is hoarse and the only thing you can taste is the salt cascading down your face.
And Dabi holds you through it all. His hands run up and down your back, gently rocking both of your bodies to a tune only he knows, his lips pressed against your head in hopes you can feel the adoration seeping out of his body. He allows you to unleash all of the emotions he’s stirred up in you. He catches every tear that falls from your eyes, thankful he’s unable to shed his own.
Once the world has stopped shifting and you’re able to steady yourself, he carries you to your bed without another word, a tender kiss against your forehead before he turns to leave.
“Where are you going?” you ask, barely managing to whisper.
He smiles down gently at you. “You left some food out. I was gonna put it away then crawl in bed.”
“Don’t care. Come to bed now.”
“Your wish is my command.”
With your face tucked away in his chest, your arms wrapped around his torso, and your legs tangled with his, Dabi falls into a peaceful sleep for the very first time since he learned that family will always be your first disappointment.
The fourth time you call Dabi by his name, he finally allows himself to drown in the emotions he’s spent his entire life learning to swim away from.
The sinner wakes up with angel feathers around his body, the spot where your body laid empty and cold but scent still clinging onto the sheets. He quickly finds himself in a familiar routine of glaring at the nosy sun peeking through curtains and violating his eyes, cursing his nocturnal nature and how much easier it is to be himself in front of the moon and stars. After contemplating if going back to sleep is worth it (it isn’t), he drags his body out of bed and into a warm shower. The smell of your shampoo is somewhere to be found in the leftover steam of your own shower, and he smiles to himself when he remembers where he’s at: home. And it isn’t a home where dishes are broken and voices crack and plead. It isn’t a home where fear sits in the living room and stress waits for him in the kitchen. It isn’t a home where he’s expected to be an adult with obligations without ever knowing what it’s like to be a child full of wonder.
It’s a home where angels sing in the kitchen as they cook breakfast while he tries to wash his sins away in the bathroom and that, he thinks, is the closest to perfection he will ever get.
He walks into the kitchen with a towel around his waist and his scars on full display—new ones angry and red, old ones melancholy and purple—and, for once, he isn’t afraid. He doesn't try to hide them under baggy clothes and jeering words. He allows your eyes to run over them and wince at the fresh ones and squint at the old ones, because he knows you aren’t disgusted by them, you don’t pity him, you accept them as they are—reminders of times where he strayed too close to the fire.
“Morning, baby,” he says around a yawn as he sits at your table.
You smile softly at him and how easy he finds it to be around you. “You’re really laying the ‘baby’ stuff on thick, huh?”
“I mean, you only let me call you a cockslut when you’re being one, and I don’t see you on your knees right now so…”
Flustered, you quickly turn back around to tend to the salmon and eggs you’ve been cooking, probably adding far too much salt but trying to not pay attention to how much your hands are shaking. This causes Dabi to laugh—gentle, deep, melodic in a sense, carefree and raspy. “Oh, so you think you’re Mr. Funny Man, hm?” you challenge, though you don’t dare face him.
“I think I’m downright hilarious, baby.”
“Well, that makes one of us.”
“Whatever you say, baby.”
You swat a tea towel at him, which he quickly dodges with a grin, and you roll your eyes. “You aren’t giving up any time soon, are you?”
“Do I ever? Baby.”
“Point taken.”
Breakfast is eaten in comfortable silence—Dabi radiating a happiness you never thought possible, you soaking it all in with a sense of relief. He takes his time as he eats, as if he’s savoring every flavor crawling around his tongue, contemplative as his teeth shred his food to tiny pieces. You admire the sight of his furrowed brow and bright eyes as you sip on your tea, unsure of what to say and worried what you do want to say will scare him away. So rather than choke on the words sitting in the back of your throat, you take this opportunity to inspect his body. After all, it isn’t every day Dabi is comfortably shirtless, especially in the sun’s rays where all of his flaws are visible for anyone and everyone to see.
You spot the newer burns sitting close to his hips, not quite as wrathful as the older ones resting on his chest, but still containing a torment you don’t think you’ll ever understand firsthand (and you doubt he’d want you to). When he first began showing up at your doorstep and all you knew about him was he look different than anyone else you knew, you used to tell yourself stories about his scars—how he got them, how painful they were, which ones are newer than the others, which ones were self-inflicted and which ones were done by a resentful hand, how they all come together for form a man who’s become a sort of expert when dealing with macabre things.
If it bothers him to have your attention so focused on things he tries so hard to hide, he’s never said anything about it. When he first noticed how fixated you were on his scars, he cupped your chin and tilted your head up, forcing you to look at his sapphires full of curiosity and hesitance.
“Little distracted there, doll,” he observed.
“Do they hurt?”
He blinked, unsure of what to make of your harmless tone. “Not really. If I get new ones, they hurt like a motherfucker, but I get used to it after a few days.”
“Are they hard to take care of?”
“No. I’ve been taking care of them for a while now so it’s not a big deal.”
Your fingers gently traced the staples on his collarbone, careful to not pluck at any, not a hint of disgust to be found on your angelic face. “Can you teach me how to?”
He jolted back and immediately guarded himself behind walls high enough to reach the heavens. Suspicion clouded his eyes, laced through his tone and made his muscles more rigid. “Why?”
“So I can help take care of them,” you replied, as if everything were really that simple, and Dabi swore he saw a flash of angel wings fluttering on your back.
Back in the present, Dabi watches your eyes fill with nostalgia, a small smile on your face as your fingers trace the rim of your mug. He thinks he can stare at you all day if you would allow him to. He thinks he could spend the rest of forever memorizing all of the expressions you make as you try to dissect mortality and why seraphic beings are so fascinated with it. He knows that eventually, sacrifices will have to be made and one of you will lose themself serving a god who doesn’t like those in love with vengeance while the other one tries to pluck their own eyes out so they may be blind to how much suffering they’ve caused. But, for now, he’s happy being the fool in love who flew too close to the sun.
“Little distracted there, baby,” he chuckles, gathering up your dishes and placing them in the sink. “Am I just that handsome?”
“You never did teach me how to help take care of them,” you reply with a somber tone.
The mug he’s holding nearly slips out of his hand when your words reach his ears. So you really were thinking about morality and all of its ugliness. He tries his hardest to keep his voice light, to not show how much he envies angels and how easy ignorance is for them. “They aren’t yours to take care of.”
“No, but I’d like to help.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Because I love you. There is it again, that goddamn sentence that always manages to stick itself to the roof of your mouth. You’re choking on it, trying to allow oxygen to flow through lungs that are turning inside out because you can’t seem to find the courage to say you love a sinner in a world that shuns blood and fire. Acid fills your throat as your lips try to form the words burning at your gums. I love you, I love you, I love you. Why is it so hard to say? Why is love such a scary thing even though it presents itself as a cure for everything wrong in the world? Why does your kitchen seem smaller than before? Why are there black spots dancing in front of your eyes? Why is Dabi so afraid of anything he can’t burn and why are you afraid of giving him a reason to leave?
“Because…?” he prompts you, oblivious to your inner turmoil.
You try to flash an easy smile at him, though you fear it may look strangled. “Because I don’t want you to bleed everywhere if you miss a spot.”
That certainly isn’t the answer he was expecting given the way a chuckle stutters out of his throat, but he finds himself laughing until he’s nearly bent at the waist and struggling to catch his breath. It’s a beautiful sound, one full of long-lost joy and too many cigarettes smoked under a full moon, one that cups your heart and kisses it tenderly. “Well, I don’t want to ruin any more furniture,” he hums. “Better teach ya’ the secrets to my staples then and how to make this mug so pretty.”
After dishes have been washed and food has been stored away, you usher Dabi back to the bathroom and pull out the first aid kit you’ve learned to keep handy. He guides you with a firm hand and soft voice, tells you how to properly disinfect the burns and where to place the staples so they hold everything together, teaches you how to keep your fingers from shaking and how to not wince whenever metal punctures flesh. Keeping someone from falling apart shouldn’t feel so intimate, but with every staple placed into taut skin a jolt of something warm, something precious, something so fragile you’re afraid if you acknowledge it it’ll fall apart, spreads across your chest and causes sunlight to pour out of your hands.
With every brush of your fingers, the sinner is slowly learning to admire sunrises and how they highlight all of the things he tries to hide in the night. It’s not an easy task, and he struggles to fight the urge to find solace in galaxies littered across the sky, but if it means he can admire your face under the rays then he’ll bear through it all. You’re so close to him—the closest you’ve been in weeks. He can see every eyelash, every pore, every bit of stardust swimming under your skin and all of the oceans running through your veins. His body might contain destruction, but yours contains creation—the secrets to all of the universes and how to create life out of pure love. And maybe it’s a bit of an oxymoron to have such opposing things crash together, but Dabi is not a simple man and he doesn’t like simple things.
“Can I tell you the other new things I’ve been trying?” he asks timidly.
You look up in a pair of frightened sapphires and nod slowly, shyly. “Yes.”
Long, slender fingers stop your hand from placing another staple into him, and rough lips kiss all of the suns in your palms. His voice shakes when he speaks, nearly as much as his soul does, but he still forces the words out. “I’ve been trying out this...thing. It’s pretty fuckin’ scary. To be honest, I never thought I’d try it. And to be even more honest, I thought it was too late for me to try it. I thought it came with an expiration date, y’know? Like those credit card offers you get in the mail that say some bullshit like, ‘This offer is only good for the next two weeks! Sign up now!’ But recently, I learned that now is the perfect time to try it.”
“And what is it?”
The air is filled with anticipation, with words that have sat in throats for far too long, with feelings that have been locked away in chests, with pasts that have refused to die, with futures that may never live, with closets overfilling with skeletons. It’s suffocating, terrifying, absolutely world-shattering. But with your gift of creation, Dabi can destroy as much as he wants without worrying about leaving any new nasty scars on planets. He’s free to be himself, to unleash as much fire as he wants, and you’ll be right behind him, sweeping up ashes and leaving life in their wake.
“Love.”
Once the word drips from his tongue and lands right on your chest, the world stops turning. Stars can no longer be found and the moon buried itself in a black hole and oceans stop their waves. Angels have stopped fussing about forgiveness and gods are no longer worried about who deserves to be smited next. The entire universe and beyond has ceased to expand because all that matters in this moment is how Dabi’s heart is no longer caged and you’re no longer afraid to play with fire.
Tears fill your eyes before you can stop them, and Dabi brushes his thumb across your eyelashes. “You love me.” It isn’t a question, and it certainly doesn’t need an answer, but he offers you one anyway.
“I love you, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to realize.”
If the sinner didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought he heard the angels begin to sing. But trivial things like sins and purity, heaven and hell, angels and demons, don’t matter because none of them could ever feel as freeing as loving you. He’s no longer bound by the past and all of its bloodshed, and he thinks it’s okay to forget it sometimes. His fingers shake as they brush tears away you didn’t even know you have shed, careful to not taint your divine skin with his infernal hands, a shy sort of smile on your lips as you pull his body closer to yours. He protests that you’ll get blood on your clothes, and you shush him by telling him you’ve always been fascinated with mortals anyway, and neither of you are sure who initiated it but your lips are slotting together and you remember why heaven never felt like home.
Before you could get lost in how good it feels to not have to worry about serving a vengeful god, Dabi picks you up and carries you to your bedroom, chest flush against yours and hearts beating in sync. He’s gentle as he lays you on your bed, careful to not disturb your wings and all of the feathers falling from your back. His fingers graze your thighs, and for a moment he fears he may be cast down to the deepest pits of hell before he’s able to worship you the way you deserve. But then, you pull his face down to yours and kiss him as if he hasn’t spent his entire life in search of his next big sin and, suddenly, hell is worth being dragged through as long as it means he gets to hold your hand.
“I love you,” he whispers against your lips. “I love you, I love you, I fucking love you, angel.”
Shaky fingers trace his jawline as if he were going to crumble to desk any second. “I love you, too. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay. Everything is okay.”
He didn’t even realize he had blood droplets welling in his eyes until you gently wiped them away, fingertips glistening with newly formed rubies and trembling as you try to get rid of any evidence of sadness. Rather than trying to voice all of the emotions crawling up his throat, he kisses the wet pads of your digits, a silent thank you for teaching him that even the most corrupt of souls can be saved. Cracked lips trace over soft skin, and though it serves as a reminder of the different worlds you serve, the villain can’t help but lose himself in all of the pretty little noises falling from your mouth. It’s hypnotizing how you can make something as simple as a few breathy moans sound like the same harps in the clouds he’s spent his entire life trying to run away from. He’s barely taken your shirt and pants off and you’re already heaving underneath him—the visual reassurance he needed to know that you’ve been waiting for this moment just as eagerly as he had. And right as he lowers his head towards your thighs to provide the relief you’ve both needed, you stop him short, trembling hand finding purchase in his snowy locks.
“Angel…?” Sapphires full of questions scan your face, but he waits for you to speak, waits for your explanation, waits for you. He’s spent his entire life waiting for someone—something—like you, what’s a few more seconds?
You look hesitant—eyes darting around the room, incisors digging into your lower lip, heart thumping in the hollow in your throat—and, if Dabi didn’t know any better, scared. “I...uh...I’m unprepared.”
He blinks up at you. “I’m not following. What do you mean ‘unprepared’? No condoms? I’m fairly certain I’ve fried all of my swimmers so there’s a very small chance you’ll get knocked up, and I promise you no one has touched me in years so there’s no risk of any infections. There’s always Plan B too if I still have a few stubborn lil’ guys desperate to create a crotch goblin and—”
“No,” you cut him off, the heels of your hands digging into your eyes. “I haven’t...y’know...taken care of things down south in a while…”
A laugh bubbles up his throat once he realizes what your implications are. You haven’t shaved. He’s covered in nightmarish scars and staples, lanky body trying to destroy itself every second he’s alive, and you’re worried about some body hair? It almost pains him to think that you’re so self-conscious of something so miniscule, so human, so mundane it doesn’t even deserve a second thought. Who turned you away for keeping one of your temporal traits? Who shunned you for wanting to be mortal?
“Angel,” he breathes between chuckles, his knuckles brushing against your cheek and pulling your hands away from your face. “Have you looked at me at all? Like, really looked at me?”
You meekly nod.
“Then you’ll know that I’m the last person to give a fuck about some hair. Hell, I can’t even grow my own body hair because it’s all burned to shit. Your body hair is a part of you, therefore, I love it. I don’t care if you grow it, shave it, wax it, whatever. That’s your choice. So don’t be so ashamed of it, yeah? If you can look past my fuckin’ terrifying scars, I can look past a few hairs, okay?”
Rough fingers trace a soft cheek, and you find yourself nodding again, spreading your legs and allowing him access to the place he craves to be most. You’re completely and utterly intoxicating looking down at him through unshed crystals, fingers playing with the strands of his hairs while he tries to memorize how you look in this exact moment because he’s sure this is the closest to heaven he’ll ever get. He’s tender as he traces your soaking slit with his calloused digit, careful to not rush you nor taint you with the impermanence of humanity. A bit of stardust falls out of your mouth when you moan out his name, and he’s disappointed in himself for not bringing a mason jar so he may keep all of your celestial beauty on a shelf as a reminder that not everything is as ugly as he is. Still, he considers himself the luckiest mortal to ever grace this earth to see you wriggling underneath him, see how your mouth goes slack when his finger brushes against your swollen clit, hear how soft your pleas for more are, to know that even the holiest of angels are capable of a little sin.
“What’s that, baby?” he coos down at you, fingers never leaving the apex of your thighs.
The mewl you let out is cut short by a whimper as he drags his fingers down your fluttering hole, gathering up all of your juices and licking them clean, sapphires never leaving your face. It’s the most erotic thing you’ve been blessed enough to see, so fucking sexy and world-shattering as he brings his hand down to grind his palm against your throbbing heat. Lowering his body over yours, he nips at the sensitive shell of your ear, licking and sucking on the afflicted skin until you’re bucking your hips against his hand.
“S’matter, sweetheart?” he asks with feigned sympathy. “Can’t handle a little teasing?”
But, oh god, if only you knew how he’s barely hanging on. This last shred of control he’s somehow maintained is about to burst at the seams, tear his world to shreds until all he knows is you and all of your feathers and glittering halo. He’s a mere mortal who somehow found a way to break into heaven, and he’s about to lose himself amongst all of the clouds if he lets go. He can’t, not yet, not when he’s still unsure if you love him as much as he needs you, not when he’s afraid of you regretting having an affair with ephemeral beings. You deserve better than him, he’s sure of it, but you’re looking up at him with eyes full of stars and wonder and he can’t stop himself from breaking down his own walls he’s spent a lifetime building up.
Trembling hands grab at his neck, his hair, anything they can grasp to pull him closer, closer, closer. You want him, you need him, all of him, every last scar, every little staple, every tear he had shed before crying became impossible, every blood-curdling scream that has left his throat, every word that has dripped from his tongue, every insecurity that haunts his heart, everything. You need Dabi, you need Touya Todoroki, you need the man you found facedown in an alleyway, you need the man who shattered your soul and furniture, you need the man who came back and pieced them both back together. You need him, and he’s never been more sure of it than in this moment.
“I don’t think you’ll ever realize how beautiful you are,” he whispers, breath hot against your cool skin.
But before you can reply, his tongue is running along your folds and his hands are intensely gripping your hips and, oh my god, you swear you see stars on your ceiling. He drags his tongue across your pussy like a starved man, moaning and panting in sync with every noise that falls from your chest, determined to make you cum, desperate to earn every ounce of praise you’ve ever given him. Sapphires clouded with lust and love gaze up at you as a hot mouth toys with your desire, and you’re certain this is what it’s like to be worshiped in the best way possible. You brush your thumb against his cheek, a signal that he’s so good, the best possible devotee and all of his acts of worship won’t go in vain.
“F-F-Fuck,” you mewl, and earn a groan from him in return, the verberations hitting your pussy and causing supernovas to explode behind your eyes. “Oh, please, just like that! You’re so good, Dabi, so fucking good!”
His index finger replaces his tongue, languid strokes against your sopping heat as he tries to catch his breath. “Goddammit, you’re perfect.” His voice is somewhere between a moan and a whine, syllables catching in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing as he attempts to swallow down all of the words flooding his esophagus. “You’re so fucking perfect for me and I’m so in love with you it hurts.” He’s in awe, completely and utterly in shock that such an innocent creature—one with stars in their skin and oceans in their veins and all of the secrets to love and life trapped between their flower-filled lungs—can look at him with such…adoration. Passion, trust, tenderness, bliss—they’re all there, swimming in your irises, dancing across your face, beating in your chest.
You love him, you love him, you love him.
And it isn’t out of pity. He isn’t some sick stray dog you found and nursed back to health and fell in love with along the way. You love him as if you had no other choice to, as if your heart would explode without him, as if the world would stop turning if he left. And, god, does he love you. He loves you like Icarus loved the sun—dangerously, self-destructive and self-aware, knowing he’ll never be worthy but still determined to be close with you at least once during this lifetime.
“I love you,” he murmurs again, fingers finding your cunt and mouth attaching itself to your clit again.
He’s a starved animal, deprived of love and selfishly taking as much as he can now that he’s in a home full of it. But there’s not a damn thing selfish about the way he loves you, about the way he circles his tongue around your clit, about the way hs dips his slender fingers into your throbbing heat and grazes your gummy walls, about how his other hand is touching as much of your soft skin as he can—your breasts, your nipples, your hips, the swell of your ass, your legs, just everything, everything, everything, so he knows what dedication feels like.
Bony hips rut against your mattress in a desperate search for some form of relief, but he can’t stop himself from devouring every little piece of you until your halo falls off and you’re free from the clutches of a cruel god. You were never truly happy amongst the clouds, were you? Always forced to be something you weren’t, forced to shun anyone who was less than perfect, forced to convert anyone who didn’t believe.
But now, in this moment, with the very same face you were taught to fear is buried between your legs, when you’re stripped down to the bone and all of your galaxies are setting the room alight, when your soul is naked and free to be handled by even the most scarred of hands… You’ve never felt more free.
Your fingers pull on his wintry locks in an attempt to bring him closer to you, closer to heaven and all of its promises of healing. “I—” Dabi cuts your whines off by flattening his tongue against your clit, sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves and pumping his fingers faster. “F-Fuck…! I’m so close! Wan’ cum, please, wan’ cum so badly!”
You’re barely hanging on. Flashes of gold dance in front of your eyes and you’re almost certain it’s a part of your halo falling, but who needs angels when the sinner right between your legs is the loveliest thing you’ve ever seen? He’s quivering—so overwhelmed with the trust you’ve given a man with bloodied hands to not taint your precious body that he can’t help but try to give you every ounce of reassurance that yes, he is trustworthy! He’s worthy! Even with scarlet stains on ivory skin and graveyards full of regrets, he’s been deemed worthy of one of heaven’s most pure angels.
The fifth time you call Dabi by his name, he’s ready to completely throw away his previous life in favor of everything holy and pure.
Your thighs are shaking around his head, hands tangling themselves in his hair and pulling for dear life, and he knows you’re so, so close to that final push that will permanently brand you a fellow sinner.
“Tell me how much you need it, angel,” he all but pleads against your pussy, the pace of his fingers becoming faster and sloppy, desperate, haphazard circles being drawn into your clit and hungry teeth nipping at your flesh. “Tell me how much you need me. Oh my fucking god, baby, please tell me how much you need it. I need to hear it. I need it, I need you.”
“Touya, I need you,” you cry out. It’s a demand—give me all of you and let me love every piece. It’s a plea—love me as much as I love you and don’t ever leave my side. It’s a promise—I’ll wash every wound for you if it means I get to be close to you. It’s everything Dabi could have ever wished for and more—an angel finally allowing themself to be free of their divine restraints in order to love the very same thing that might kill them. “Oh, fuck, I need you. I need you, I need you, I need you.”
You love him, you love him, you love him.
His ears are filled with your prayers and his mouth is full of your ambrosia and his chest is full of all of the suns you’ve saved for him, and, for a moment, he thinks he’d be okay if he died right now. Your whimpers are intoxicating, the very same harm that tempts every sinner with a tainted soul. The pleasure that has been rumbling and knotting deep within your gut finally snaps with a few licks to your clit and his knuckles brushing against your slick walls, and you’re sure that you’ve officially lost your heavenly status. It’s worth it. It’s all worth seeing Dabi looking up at you with his hypnotizing topazes and smile that would make God himself weep.
Unsteady hands grab at his sharp face, heavenly fingers swiping away the rubies that have begun to cascade down his cheeks and splash on the bed sheets, a wobbly smile on cracked lips.
“You’re crying,” you observe, tender as you try to pull him close to you. “Are you okay?”
But rather than answer you, Dabi takes both of your wrists in one of his hands and delicately pins them over your head, his other hand tracing your body with feather-light touches. He’s measured with his ministrations, hesitant, careful to keep all of the flaws trapped in his bones away from you and all of the galaxies in yours.
“You’re beautiful,” he breathes. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” The rubies are still falling from his topazes and all you can think of is how terribly wrong he is because he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Not the clouds in the sky, not the other angels fleeting around carelessly, not the supernovas you see every night, not the sunrises you see every morning. Nothing could measure up to how painfully beautiful it is watching Dabi finally accepting the love you’ve been trying to offer him for what feels like a lifetime.
“You’re gorgeous,” you manage to reply, voice and heart wobbly. “You’re handsome and beautiful and—”
Rough lips slotting against yours cuts you off, calloused fingers cupping your face, and when he finally releases his hold on you, you wrap your arms around his neck. He’s shaking like a lost child, salty tears and copper mixing with your hungry kisses and clashing against greedy tongues. Your chests heave together as sobs wrack both of your bodies, so desperate to finally be together after heaven was so determined to keep you separated. Fumbling hands rip the towel that clung to his hips off, and he sinks himself into you, his hips stuttering with every centimeter he pushes through.
The sixth time you call Dabi by his name, he understands why generations of men have gone to war to feel a fraction of what he’s drowning in—earth-shattering, skin-searing, sanity-robbing fulfillment.
Eyes rolling to the back of your head, stars exploding under your skin, you dig your fingernails into his back as he snaps his hips against yours. He’s lost in you and all of your healing touches, all of the prayers echoing in your chest, all of the feathers falling down your back and glitter falling down your face. He’s completely and utterly in love with the saint underneath him, and he silently vows to protect you until his dying breath.
“A-Angel,” he groans, his pace sloppy as he tries to chase the high only you can provide him. “Oh, f-fuck, you feel so fucking good. You’re so good to me. So goddamn perfect. I love you so fucking much. Please, don’t leave me.”
Somehow, some way, you manage to find your voice and sob, “I love you, Touya, love you more than anything! ‘M not going anywhere, I promise.”
The seventh time you call Dabi by his name, he allows the past to die and begins to set up a home for the future.
His hips stutter when the sound of his name falls on his ears, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck to bring your chest flush against his. “Say it again,” he pleads. “Say my name again. Just like that, baby, say it again.”
“Touya!”
The eighth time you call Dabi by his name, he swears he sees a flash of golden gates.
He kisses the hollow of your throat, watching the way your pulse skyrockets at his touch. “Again.”
“Touya!”
The ninth time you call Dabi by his name, he starts to feel galaxies form under his own skin, and it’s then he knows his sins have been forgiven.
He’s drunk on purity and innocence and forgiveness—all of the things he’s been denied his entire life but has found waiting for him in your ribcage. “Again.”
“Touya!”
And though he knows he’s just a greedy man who was lucky enough to catch the attention of God's greatest servant, he thinks he might be able to sit in heaven with you. He hopes, for just a moment, he might be able to see all of the golden gates and hear all of the harps that have haunted his dreams. His soul is still tainted with broken promises and broken families, but laying right underneath him, with the secret to healing and the key to salvation in their palm, is the very definition of love and everything right in the world.
And hovering right above you, with all of his passion and determination, with all of his flaws put on display for anyone to scrutinize, is a reminder of how beautiful and brave it is to be human in a world that only praises heavens. His cock brushes against your cervix, his lips kiss every inch of skin they can touch, his hands are buried in his hair, his voice is rough with desire and need, and nothing in heaven could ever be as breath-taking as Touya Todoroki.
“Oh my fucking god,” he moans against your skin. “I love you, angel. I need you.”
Lost in love and all of its intricacies, you whine and buck your hips up in sync with his, grinding your clit against his pelvis and sobbing at the galaxies you both are creating. Your own heaven to get lost in, where gods can’t spy and angels can’t judge. Where forgiveness is commonplace and greed is acceptable. Where family is who you choose it to be and love isn’t a tool for manipulation. Where everything is simple and pure and right.
And although Dabi is not a simple man and does not like simple things, Touya is learning that simplicity holds its own beauty worthy of loving.
The tenth time you call Dabi by his name, he’s ready to allow himself to be loved without any attachments, any suspicions, any ill will—the past, along with Dabi, have finally laid to rest.
“I love you, Touya,” you cry out, and he’s sure that it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. “I love you so much!”
You’re close to coming undone—he can feel how much your pussy is clamping down on him and how your voice becomes more and more distorted by hiccups and sobs. He just needs a little more, just a little more to add the finishing touches to your heaven and build a throne out of gold. Just a little more, just so he can relish in how sweet forgiveness tastes and how good it feels to no longer bear the burden of corruption.
“I love you too,” he whispers into your hair. “I love you more than anything in this world.”
His thrusts are becoming sloppier and sloppier with each passing minute, and he knows he’s only a few pumps away from spilling over. Cupping your face with his hands, he uses his thumb to brush away the tears streaming down your cheek and slots his lips against yours in a moment of heated passion.
“Cum, angel, cum for me,” he pleads, angling his cock brushes against scared places in you. “Cum for me, cum with me, just cum, baby, cum.”
Who would’ve known the creation of a new heaven could feel so sinful? Clutching his body to yours as much as you can, you cry out his name followed by a string of curses as your pussy milks him for every last drop he has. His bliss follows right after yours, and he bites down on your shoulder to keep himself from groaning too loudly so as to not drown out your melodic cries. Visions of gold and white and purity flash before his eyes as cock throbs inside of you.
His body goes limp on top of yours, breath shaky and bloody stars falling from his eyes. He thinks he can feel your fingers running through his hair, but he’s so high on simplicity and absolution he can’t seem to feel anything except your heart beating against his. Tender lips press against his sweaty temple, and he buries his face deeper into the crook of your neck.
“‘M sorry,” he mumbles after a beat of silence. “For everything. I should’ve realized sooner. I…I should’ve been stronger.”
Delicately, you bring his face out of its hiding space to press your forehead against yours, examining the regret and hesitance dancing inside sapphire. “All that matters,” you whisper “is that you did realize. I’ll be your strength if you’re feeling weak. I’ll be your shoulder to cry on. There’s nothing to worry about. All is forgiven.”
And for the very first time in his life, Touya no longer feels like a sinner forced to bear the wrongdoings of a greedy man. He no longer feels like the product of selfishness and vanity gone awry. He no longer feels like a family secret buried in the backyard never to be spoken of or acknowledged.
Touya Todoroki feels like a man with his entire life ahead of him, an angel by his side and a heaven to come home to, and that, he thinks, is more than anyone with a past such as his can hope for.
Reblogs/comments are greatly appreciated! ♡
like to charge, reblog to cast <3
your readers would rather read writing that you feel isn't your best work over not being able to read your writing at all
imagine living in a society where genocide is actively being televised, streamed, and consistently posted abt on social media. where theres floods of information, eye witnesses, evidence FOR FREE and u still choose to stay silent, uneducated and un involved. oh wait……..
if u think this post applies to you, then do better. if u claim to be an “ally” or “woke” or literally whatever term is trending these days and u arent using your platform to spread any type of awareness THEN U ARE ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTING TO THE PROBLEM.
HEAVY ON AMERICANS TOO. our tax dollars are funding the murder of men women and children in gaza and now one of the only aid sources for palestinians is officially cut off by the hands of our president.
every day im haunted by the things these innocent souls have to go through. and it makes me sick that others claim to care but do nothing in their power to help. the aid i can offer to save a life is next to none, i can pray that the posts i reblog reach someone who doesnt know much about the conflict, i can protest, i can donate to aids that im not even sure are able to enter gaza, but to sit in a place of privilege? and do nothing? couldn’t me me, and if THATS YOU, then you should take a moment and reflect on how loud your silence can be.
if u wish to argue with me on this matter this is not the space to do so, i will not take time out of my day to debate on whether what is happening in palestine is unjust. it is. period.
You know trans people? No you don't.
You know queer people? No you don't.
You know immigrants? No you don't.
You know people who are pregnant? No you don't.
You know people who are trying to get pregnant? No you don't.
You know someone on their period? No you don't.
You know people who have any other religion than Christianity? No you don't.
You know people who aren't religious?
You know people who voted blue? No you don't.
You know disabled people? No you don't.
You know someone who had an abortion? No you don't.
You know someone who was/is at a protest? No you don't.
Be safe on the internet. Especially on sites owned by Trump's friends and allies.
And if you have to, keep yourself safe. Check your social media. Delete posts that can get you or people you know into trouble.
Do NOT keep track of your period in a traceable way. Whether its on paper or digitally.
Talking about politics can be turned dangerous. Be aware who and where you talk.
Be aware of devices like phones keeping track of you. A lot of new cars keep track of where you're going. If things like the FBI are no longer independent, this will get dangerous. Even pictures are traceable.
If you have to go somewhere that will now be dangerous if someone knows, do not bring smart devices. If you need a phone on you in case you need to call for help: old phones or burner phones.
Stay safe. Keep your family and friends safe.
20!!! she/her/hers✨I write for Haikyuu when my mental health allows it✨
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