THIS BITCH WHIMPERS

Baked Cheesecake Donuts

For the doughnuts:

½ cup warm water

1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

2 ¼ teaspoons (1 packet) instant yeast

4 large egg yolks

1/3 cup (65 grams) granulated sugar

2 ½ (319 grams) cups all-purpose flour

¼ teaspoon fine salt

4 tablespoons (57 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature

¼ cup heavy cream

For the filling:

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

¼ cup heavy cream

¼ cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the topping:

¾ cup (150 grams) granulated sugar

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter, melted

Preparations:

Make the doughnut dough:

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, combine the water, zest, vanilla, yeast, eggs, and sugar. Gradually add in the flour then salt, mixing until absorbed. Add the butter and cream and beat on medium speed for 6 to 8 minutes, or until a smooth sticky dough forms. Remove the dough to a lightly greased bowl, cover, and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 to 1 ½ hours.

For the cheesecake filling:

Meanwhile, make the filling.

In a medium bowl using an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese, cream, sugar, and vanilla until light and fluffy.

Finish the doughnuts:

On a lightly floured work surface, roll the dough out to about ½-inch thickness. Using a round cookie cutter, cut out 6 rounds from the dough. Place on a large parchment-lined baking sheet spacing far apart. Cover and let rise until puffy, about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350°F. Bake the doughnuts for about 10 minutes, or until golden brown and puffed. Let cool enough to be handled.

In a shallow dish combine the cinnamon and sugar for the topping. Dip each warm doughnut in the melted butter, the coat in the cinnamon sugar.

Remove the cream cheese mixture to a piping bag fitted with a long filling tip. Insert the tip into the side of a doughnut and squeeze the filling inside to fill. Repeat for the remaining doughnuts. Top each doughnut with a dollop of the cream cheese mixture then drizzle with jam.

Doughnuts are best served the day they’re made.

gays, lend me your strength

the reason us gays gotta come out of the closet is to make room for all the flannel we buy

Hello! I hope you are enjoying your summer. Lughnasadh is upon us, the first of the 3 harvest holidays. I usually spend this day on the countryside, hiking and enjoying the sun, but this year it is a bit different for obvious reasons! 

I know that usually it is custom to bake some bread for Lughnasadh I am a bit of a rebel so today I am offering you a really great recipe if you plan to do a picnic of a feast to celebrate this special day! I have cooked these tarts more than 3 times already and it is always a success! The recipe is a bit long, and I tried to make it as clear as possible!

Strawberry and Wine tarts

The perfect dessert for Lughnasadh

Prep time: 1 hour

Rest time: 1 hour

Cook time: 30 minutes

Yields: 6 to 8 small tarts or 1 big tart

Ingredients

- Dough

120g (1cup) plain flour

60g (1/2cup) whole meal flour

2 tbsp brown sugar

1/4 tsp salt

100g butter

- Mascarpone Cream

250g (1 pack) mascarpone

35g (1/4 cup) powder sugar

60g (2 tbsp) heavy cream

- Strawberry and Wine syrup

500g strawberries (more or less, it’s not really precise)

55g (1/4 cup) sugar

juice of 1 lemon

A few fresh Thyme sprigs

60g (1/4 cup) port wine

Preparation

//Dough

In a bowl, mix everything until you have crumbs

Add a bit of water for the dough to keep together

Make a flat ball, wrap it and let it rest in the fridge until needed (at least an hour)

//Strawberries

Rinse and cut the strawberries in slices and put then in a bowl

Add the lemon juice, a few fresh Thyme sprigs and sugar

Let it rest in the fridge for until needed (at least 30 minutes)

//Pie crusts

Pre-heat your oven 180°/375°F

Roll out a portion of the dough about 5mm thick

Drape over a small tart tin with it and trim the excess

Put back the trim with the rest of the dough

Repeat until you don’t have any dough left

Pick the crust with a fork to keep the crust flat when baking

Bake in a hot oven for 15/20 minutes. The crust has to be light golden.

Let it cool on a tray

//Mascarpone cream

In a bowl, mix all the ingredients with a whisk or electric whisk until you have a creamy texture

Let it rest in the fridge until needed

//Wine Syrup

Stain the Strawberry juice and the Thyme in small sauce pan

Put the strawberries back in the fridge

Add the port wine in the pan, you can add more Thyme sprigs if you want a stronger flavour

Put the syrup to a boil then on medium heat until the liquid has diminished by half, or until syrupy

Remove the Thyme springs and set aside the wine syrup to cool

//Making the tart

Spread the cream

Layer with strawberry slices

Drizzle with a bit of syrup

Garnish with a few Thyme leaves

Tips

* These tarts have to be eaten the same day. I understand that the process is a bit long so you can cook the crust and whip the mascarpone the day before so you’d just have to do the strawberries, the syrup and the tarts the day where you plan to eat them

* Port substitution: You can use marsala as well, or nothing and just reduce the strawberry juice to make it a syrup

* If you choose to do a big tart, use weights when you bake the crust to keep it flat

THE DEATH OF MY SOUL

Hello??? Wilson gets with Cutthroat Bitch?? I hate that woman since the beginning I'm going to vomit-

Moon Spell Cookies Ingredients: • 1 cup of finely grated almonds (optional) • 1 ¼ cups of flour • ¼ cup of confectioner’s sugar • ¼ cup of butter • 1 egg yolk Directions: 1. Combine almonds, flour, and sugar. 2. Work in butter and egg yolk until well blended. 3. Set it in the fridge until chilled. 4. Roll into crescent moon shapes or use a cookie cutter. 5. Place on greased cookie sheet and bake at 320 degrees Fahrenheit (160 degrees Celsius) for 20 minutes. Spells for: Love - Add a few pinches of rosemary, sweet basil, cinnamon, and honey. Prosperity - Add cinnamon, nutmeg, basil, and grated lemon peel. Protection - Add cloves, rosemary, anise, and cinnamon. Psychic Ability - Add star anise, nutmeg, orange, and thyme.

fell in love with Plainsbro’s resident cheater

🌾🌻It’s Lammas! The first harvest! 🌻🌾

One of the nice things you can do to celebrate, is to bake bread or buns~! Since I’m going to grill with my friends today, i thought i’d make buns, because i’m going to be preparing burgers.

You will need:

for the dough:

320 g of wheat flour

120 ml of hot milk

one big egg

40 g of softened or melted butter

15 g of fresh yeast or 5 g of dry yeast

a teaspoon of sugar

a big pinch of salt

to lightly brush them before baking:

egg mixed with milk

Steps:

First of all get a big bowl and put all your dry stuff in it. (Except yeast if you’re using dry one) 

add an egg and butter

while you’re mixing it, put the milk in the microwave and measure out the yeast you need.

when the milk is still hot but not too hot (be careful, you can kill the yeast with too warm milk) mix it with yeast.

When milk and yeast becomes smooth liquid, add it to the dough 

And now you can use a mixer to knead the dough or just your hands. 

When you have finished dough, cover it with something and leave to rise for 60 minutes. 

After the 60 minutes, weigh the dough and make how many buns you’d like, put them on the baking sheet, and again

Leave them to rise for 30 to 40 minutes, they need to be covered!

Brush them lightly with the milk and egg mixture

Bake them! Heat your oven to 350F or 180C and bake them until they’re golden.

You can get creative with the toppings, you can make some more dough and make sun or flowers on top of them, to represent the harvest and the time of the year or as to represent a deity, you can add herbs of your choice on top, for example dried rosemary to bring happiness and protection, basil for confidence etc. 

But most importantly, Have fun and enjoy the sabbath! 💞

Super Fudgy Raspberry Stuffed Brownie Cookies

Ingredients

2 cups (200 g) raspberries, fresh or frozen

7 oz (200 g) dark chocolate, chopped

9 tbsp (125 g) unsalted butter, cubed

2 eggs

½ cup (100 g) white sugar

1 cup + 1 tbsp (130 g) plain gluten free flour blend (a simple store-bought blend of rice, potato and maize flour with no added xanthan gum)

¼ tsp xanthan gum

3 tbsp (20 g) cocoa powder

1 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

Instructions

First, make the raspberry filling:

In a small saucepan, cook the raspberries on medium-high heat until they have released their juice and part of the liquid has evaporated.

Pass the raspberry mixture through a sieve to remove the seeds and skin.

Return the raspberry juice to the saucepan and cook further until it has decreased in volume to about ½ - ¾ cup.

Spread the raspberry reduction on a piece of aluminium foil (that should be placed on top of a freezer-safe tray or plate) so that you make an even layer ~3 mm thin.

Freeze it for at least ½ hour, or until frozen solid.

Pre-heat the oven to 355 ºF (180 ºC) and line two baking sheets with baking/greaseproof paper.

In a heat-proof bowl above a pot of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter together. Once melted, set aside to cool slightly.

In a stand mixer (or using a hand mixer with the double beater attachment), beat the eggs and sugar together for 5 - 6 minutes, until pale, fluffy and greatly increased in volume.

Add the melted chocolate to the egg mixture, and mix briefly until the chocolate has been evenly incorporated.

Sift together gluten free flour, xanthan gum, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt, and add it to the mixer. Mix for 30 seconds to 1 minute, until all flour has been incorporated and no flour clumps remain. Scrape the sides and the bottom of the bowl with a spatula to ensure the cookie batter is an smooth as possible.

Using a cookie scoop (or an ice cream scoop, or even just a spoon), transfer ~1 - 2 tbsp of the cookie batter onto the lined baking sheet and spread it out slightly (into a circle about 2 inches (5 cm) wide and about ¼ - ½ inch (6 - 12 mm) tick).

Cut a piece of the frozen raspberry filling that’s about ½ inch smaller in diameter than the cookie batter “circle” you’ve just made, and place it in the middle of the cookie batter.

(You don’t have to cut the filling in a circle, a square or rectangle that’s smaller than the cookie batter “circle” work just as well.)

Place ~1 tbsp of the cookie batter on top of the filling, and smooth it out using a spoon so that it completely covers the filling.

Repeat with the rest of the cookie batter and raspberry filling. This recipe makes about 10 - 12 cookies.

Bake in the pre-heated oven at 355 ºF (180 ºC) for 12 minutes. The cookies should be slightly crackly on top, with a shiny crust. They will be soft when they come out of the oven, so leave them on the baking tray for about 1 minute before you transfer them to a cooling rack.

Enjoy!

These raspberry stuffed brownie cookies keep well in a closed container in a cool dry place for about 1 week.