My Heart Rots Behind Its Walls

I LOVE MY ALGEBRA TEACHER

So, the other day in math we had a sub and the sub was next year’s math teacher. Anyway the really annoying kids were messing around and while the teacher was explaining stuff on the white board one kid shouted out “DO YOU PLAY FORTNITE?”. And my teach stopped talking , turned around, looked the kid straight in the eyes , and said, “Yes”. We all died.

gays, lend me your strength

I am a Gryffindor, but I’d like too be a Ravenclaw so I just tell people I’m a Ravenclaw. But that’s a very Gryffindor thing to do.

Salted Honey Pie 🍯

An old fashion pie recipe that’s super simple to make and a great Ostara/Spring Dessert! I’m making one for this Easter with my family.

Honey, Eggs, Cream are all Spring Foods. Honey symbolizes sweetness and the rewards of hardwork just like the little bees that work so hard to make it! 🐝

And Salt banishes negativity and is purifying!

This dessert is perfect for getting rid of the stress or worry of Winter and welcoming any sweet rewards from your hardwork in the future this Spring!

Ingredients:

One 9 inch Pie Crust (Store bought or one of your favorite crust recipes)

½ Cup of Melted Butter

¾ Cup of White Sugar

2 Tbs of Cornmeal

¼ tsp of Salt

¾ Cup of Honey

2 Eggs + 1 Egg Yolk

½ Cup of Cream

2 tsp White Vinegar

1 tsp of Vanilla Extract

Salt Flakes for Garnish

Preheat your oven to 350. In a large bowl, mix together your dry ingredients before slowly mixing in your wet ingredients one at a time…. (I never do this and just mix it all together randomly as I go, but it’s up to you.)

Feel free to add a sigil to the base of the pie crust. This is mine -

Pour mixture into your pie crust, it will be liquid and thin; that’s okay!

Cook for 45 to 60 minutes or until the top is golden brown and it starts to bubble.(I recommend 60 minutes on the middle rack. Mine didn’t burn at all!)

Take it out of the oven and let it cool for One hour or more to let it solidify. This step is very important to make sure it isn’t too liquidy. The consitancy should be like Pecan Pie Filling.

Garnish with Sea Salt or Himalayan Salt; any big salt flakes. But regular table salt will do just fine if the others aren’t available.

Done! 🍯🐝🍽😋

This can be used for Litha too!

the reason us gays gotta come out of the closet is to make room for all the flannel we buy

Super Fudgy Raspberry Stuffed Brownie Cookies

Ingredients

2 cups (200 g) raspberries, fresh or frozen

7 oz (200 g) dark chocolate, chopped

9 tbsp (125 g) unsalted butter, cubed

2 eggs

½ cup (100 g) white sugar

1 cup + 1 tbsp (130 g) plain gluten free flour blend (a simple store-bought blend of rice, potato and maize flour with no added xanthan gum)

¼ tsp xanthan gum

3 tbsp (20 g) cocoa powder

1 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

Instructions

First, make the raspberry filling:

In a small saucepan, cook the raspberries on medium-high heat until they have released their juice and part of the liquid has evaporated.

Pass the raspberry mixture through a sieve to remove the seeds and skin.

Return the raspberry juice to the saucepan and cook further until it has decreased in volume to about ½ - ¾ cup.

Spread the raspberry reduction on a piece of aluminium foil (that should be placed on top of a freezer-safe tray or plate) so that you make an even layer ~3 mm thin.

Freeze it for at least ½ hour, or until frozen solid.

Pre-heat the oven to 355 ºF (180 ºC) and line two baking sheets with baking/greaseproof paper.

In a heat-proof bowl above a pot of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter together. Once melted, set aside to cool slightly.

In a stand mixer (or using a hand mixer with the double beater attachment), beat the eggs and sugar together for 5 - 6 minutes, until pale, fluffy and greatly increased in volume.

Add the melted chocolate to the egg mixture, and mix briefly until the chocolate has been evenly incorporated.

Sift together gluten free flour, xanthan gum, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt, and add it to the mixer. Mix for 30 seconds to 1 minute, until all flour has been incorporated and no flour clumps remain. Scrape the sides and the bottom of the bowl with a spatula to ensure the cookie batter is an smooth as possible.

Using a cookie scoop (or an ice cream scoop, or even just a spoon), transfer ~1 - 2 tbsp of the cookie batter onto the lined baking sheet and spread it out slightly (into a circle about 2 inches (5 cm) wide and about ¼ - ½ inch (6 - 12 mm) tick).

Cut a piece of the frozen raspberry filling that’s about ½ inch smaller in diameter than the cookie batter “circle” you’ve just made, and place it in the middle of the cookie batter.

(You don’t have to cut the filling in a circle, a square or rectangle that’s smaller than the cookie batter “circle” work just as well.)

Place ~1 tbsp of the cookie batter on top of the filling, and smooth it out using a spoon so that it completely covers the filling.

Repeat with the rest of the cookie batter and raspberry filling. This recipe makes about 10 - 12 cookies.

Bake in the pre-heated oven at 355 ºF (180 ºC) for 12 minutes. The cookies should be slightly crackly on top, with a shiny crust. They will be soft when they come out of the oven, so leave them on the baking tray for about 1 minute before you transfer them to a cooling rack.

Enjoy!

These raspberry stuffed brownie cookies keep well in a closed container in a cool dry place for about 1 week.

oof.

this fandom and these ppl keep me going :)

BELTANE STRAWBERRY LEMON PASSION BARS

Hello my loves! Beltane is almost here, so I started to experiment with new recipes. This one, I have been messing around in the kitchen to get it right for 2 weeks now.

Beltane often includes aphrodisiacs and other romantic foods.  So why not some sweet strawberry lemon bars that represent love and passion?

FOR THE CRUST

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 ½ cup butter, softened

1 cup powdered sugar

FOR THE FILLING

1 cup sugar

2 tsp. grated lemon peel

The juice of 1 lemon 

½ cups strawberries

A pinch of salt

4 large eggs

3 tbsp honey

Directions

Butter a square baking pan, and line the bottom and sides of the pan with parchment paper. This will prevent the bars from sticking to the pan.

Make the crust by creaming the butter, sugar and salt in a kitchen aid until light and fluffy. Stir in the flour. Press the dough into the bottom of the baking tin with your hands.

While you wait for the oven to preheat to 350 F. Chill the pan in the fridge. Bake your crust for 12-15 minutes, until very lightly browned. Leave the oven on.

While you wait for the crust to bake, blend your strawberries into a puree. 

Whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice, and blended strawberries. Pour the mixture over the crust and bake for about 35 minutes, or until your filling is set.

After cooling for 1 hour, dust with powdered sugar and enjoy!

screaming crying throwing up

Wilson sketch