Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

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Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.1K Words Warning: Angsty (It’s me), mention of child abuse, self doubt, did I mention angst? Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

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Who Will Pay the Rent?

9:24 a.m. 1st September, 2015

“Just a few more minutes left.” Yoongi sighs heavily, “you could have easily saved the bother to come here, today.”

“What happened?” I ask, taking the empty seat beside him. “I thought you said that we’re winning today. What’s up with that long face?”

“It seemed like that at the first half.” Yoongi nods towards the field, “as you can see, the tables took a 180 degree turn.”

Honestly, I don’t understand a thing about basketball. It is better to just take Yoongi’s words as they are. I ask him the important question now, “how much do you owe them?”

Yoongi intentionally avoids eye contact and keeps looking at the match without a reply. I notice that he is sweating like crazy. I understand now that it is not just about the game.

“Don’t tell me you have to sell a kidney to pay them.” I jokingly say to which he doesn’t budge. I grow agitated. “Yoongi! C’mon, tell me what it is?”

He sighs and says, “It’s just worth my rent, that’s all.”

“Your rent?” I ask, “like for the month?”

Yoongi nods and stays silent. We both remain silent for the rest of the game. I wish I could offer to help him. It is most likely that he will not accept anything directly from me. I, on the other hand, am not in a place to help him either.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly take a look at Jimin’s message saying he’s going inside the exam hall right now. I write a small “good luck” reply and put my phone back inside the pocket.

Yoongi starts to stand up from his seat, “Let’s get out of here! It’s not like anything can change in the last few minutes.”

I nod and follow him out of the stadium. He asks me if I want something to eat to which I shake my head.

“Noona!” Yoongi says, “Stop worrying about me. It’s not like I’m going bankrupt or something. It’s just some stupid amount of money, that’s all.”

“So,” I start hesitantly, “who will pay the rent?”

“I’ll manage that somehow, Noona. I always do.”

Yoongi’s the one among us who’s the most desperate to make a lot of money. That’s why he goes into these betting games and all. I once heard from Jin that he had found Yoongi starving himself because he lost all his money on some games and Jin had helped him that one time even though Yoongi refused to be helped. I don’t really approve of his ways but who am I to stop him? I did not raise him. I don’t even understand his ways of thinking.

I still feel like I should advise him to stop this nonsense and try something else. Something permanent. He is a genius and I know he will be able to figure something out if he wants. But I also feel like today is not the time to lecture him on life. Not when he’s already so stressed about it.

I decide to head to my next destination. I am not going to leave Yoongi in this state. So, I ask him, “If you don’t have to be anywhere, will you come with me?”

“I can manage some time. Where will you take me, Noona?”

“We’re going to meet Jimin.”

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Jimin’s exam will be finished at around 11 a.m. So, Yoongi and I wait for him outside the hall where there seems to be a huge crowd of the guardians of the other students. I mentally pray that Jimin will be able to outsmart them on his test today.

“I never understand Jimin’s appeal for education.” Yoongi says.

“I think it’s the same one as yours.” I offer an explanation, “Come to think of it. At the end of the day you both want to win at life. By elevating your status. Either with education or with money.”

“You know what, Noona?”

“What?”

“I hate it so much that you’re always right!” There is a faint line of smile on his face as he says the last sentence.

“Yoongi” I suddenly feel an urge to talk to him seriously. Yoongi barely talks about his real issues.

“Noona?”

“I’m asking this because I’m really worried about you, okay?”

Yoongi frowns, “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry, Noona!”

“Oh no, dear!” I quickly add, “You don’t have to apologize. I understand that you’re going through tough times.”

“Noona!” Yoongi looks at a distance as he speaks, “Do you remember ma’s face? Like, not the one as we see in her pictures. The face of her when she was sick. That face she had before she could finally rest after years of pain she went through.”

I don’t know why Yoongi is suddenly bringing this topic. Is he really missing ma all of a sudden or just trying to change the topic? Yoongi glances at me for a second and I can see his eyes glistening.

“If only I had the money, I would have taken a bus from school to come to see you.” Yoongi sniffs, “he wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I begged him to. Said it was a ‘waste of good money seeing some sick people’. I don’t think I can ever move on from the fact that I never saw ma and pa again after I left that house.”

“Yoongi!” I can barely make myself audible.

Yoongi never talked about the times he spent with our uncle who took him in when ma fell sick. Yoongi was only four at that time and he was the only one who never came to visit us occasionally during the five years when ma and pa were still alive. When I used to ask pa about it, he would always say that Yoongi was too busy with his school. I only got to see him first at their funeral. Only after Yoongi left uncle’s place for good when he was finally eighteen, we started meeting almost regularly.

“I’m sorry, Noona, I turned up this way.” Yoongi looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, “I didn’t really have an opportunity to be any better than this. Of course, I won’t use this as an excuse. I’m all grown up now and I’m trying to be more responsible. I swear, Noona, you will be proud of me like all the rest of our brothers one day. I will make that happen.”

“But I am proud of you!” I say, “I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud that after all those shits you went through, you still grew up to be such a kind and sweet soul.”

“Thank you, Noona! But you don’t really have to cheer me up.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, “I know me.”

“And I know you too.” I slowly move towards him and pull him into a hug, “I see you, Yoongi. I see you!” I slowly pat him on his back as I can sense him fighting the urge to hug me back.

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More Posts from Emerald-notes and Others

2 years ago

‘’Small flaws, glitches, my new afterimage. Breaking down the wall between what I want to say and what I cannot say, not getting intimidated but rebelling and asking questions against what the world demands. The world’s fixed stereotypes collides with my inner self and leaves trauma for a while but this temporary glitch transforms into the driving force to create a new wavelength and becomes a part of me.’‘

2 years ago

This Jimin

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This Jimin is sweet. This Jimin is precious. This Jimin is adorable. I must protect this Jimin.


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2 years ago

We Are Only Seven - Chapter 4

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Fandom: BTS Characters: OT7 (Devil!Namjoon, Demigod!Seokjin, Wizard!Yoongi, Angel!Hoseok, Werewolf!Taehyung, Gumiho!Jimin, Vampire!Jungkook) For a visual representation check these >>> VMinKook & NamJinSope Warning: Mention of battle, blood. Word Count: 1.7k Words

Summary: In a world ruled by humans, the other worldly, non-humans are in hiding. But how long will it last this way?

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 [Complete]

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“Give me a good reason to trust you.” Jimin asked defensively.

Yoongi and his new partners had brought the trio in his place. At first, Jimin was reluctant to have come with them. But when he saw what the OHA had in their mind and if it weren’t for them, Jimin would have probably ended up in their laboratory, he finally agreed to go with them.

“Trust requires time.” Yoongi said, “And all I’m asking from you is to give me that time. I swear, everything will make sense at the end. It will all go well according to the plan.”

“Well, your first plan was to summon an angel.” Seokjin said, always ready to contradict Yoongi at any given time, “And look, whom you’ve brought instead.” He gave Namjoon a disgusted look.

“Yeah,” Yoongi said as a matter of fact, “someone who brought the said angel to me at least.”

“Yah, Jimin-ah!” Taehyung called, “Look at this angel, here. His wings are so soft. Oh my God! I want to wrap myself in them.”

Jimin gave a faint smile. Taehyung and Jungkook were busy playing with Hoseok as Jimin was having some serious discussion with the rest. They looked surprisingly happy to have joined the new team. They were trusting the new people so easily. It made Jimin worry a lot.

“Oh my God!” Hoseok imitated Taehyung, “And I want to wrap you in my wings as well. Haha…” They were laughing like kids at this point.

Namjoon shook his head, “Are you sure about the sanity of the members of this team?”

Yoongi sighed, unable to answer. He, himself was losing hope the more time he had been spending with these incompatible group of beings he had collected.

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Whatever the reason might be for each of them, they collectively agreed to do whatever it took them to bring the demise of the organization that had been terrorizing their kinds for years. Apart from Seokjin, everyone seemed to have liked Yoongi too, despite of his cold nature. Little by little Yoongi started to explain the complicated, but not wholly impossible, plan to them all.

First, came the question of participations from the members. How and who would perform which tasks were brought into light. Yoongi would definitely serve as the mastermind of the team. Namjoon, Taehyung and Jungkook would be the strength while Hoseok and Jimin would give the team whatever supernatural skills they had to offer.

“What about Seokjin?” Namjoon asked sarcastically.

“What about me?” Seokjin asked, “Ya’ll definitely need a son of Aphrodite on the team. Someone, whose beauty can distract the enemies at dire times.”

“Who needs to be Aphrodite’s child to look beautiful?” said Taehyung, fixing the collar of his shirt.

Hoseok cracked up at this, “No offense, but that was so true.”

“It’s about number.” Yoongi came to his aid, “We need more people in the team.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can allow about anyone.” Jimin said, afraid that they might end up having a spy among them.

“Anyway,” Namjoon said, his voice suddenly serious now, “I think you are not giving us enough information.” The accusation was directed to Yoongi. “Answer this first, if it was about numbers, why were you so keen at finding specifically an angel and a Gumiho?”

All of their attentions were now at Yoongi. “I…” Yoongi stammered, “it’s because…Well, you see. We need some of the superpowers to fight such a horribly powerful Organization as OHA.” Yoongi’s voice rose as he asked the others, “Does any of you have them as good as these guys?” he pointed at Jimin and Hoseok.

Taehyung shook his head, “Even the OHA would agree to the fact that angels and Gumihos are their most desirable preys.”

Even though everyone seemed to be satisfied by the explanation, Namjoon was feeling a hunch. “This guy is definitely keeping some real secrets to himself.” He thought. But he didn’t let his suspicion be known to anyone else.

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“You’ve failed again.” Kim Joon-Hwi raged at the guards and the wizards those who were able to have escaped the last fight with the supernatural beings.

“Sir,” one of the guards informed, “They were more in number than we had anticipated.”

Kim Joon-Hwi shook his head. He had been putting up with enough excuses. They were failing him again and again. He was getting impatient now. He wanted to take the matter at his own hands.

“Two years at best.” He screamed at the leader of the wizards, “That’s how much time you had asked from me. And now, 5 years had already passed and you’re progress is getting slower.”

The wizard lowered his head and said, “But we’ve found something more valuable this time, sir.”

“Tell me more about it.” Kim Joon-Hwi relaxed and sat down on his chair.

“There were four more members in their team, sir.” The wizard informed, “Among them was Yoongi.”

“The wizard Min Yoongi?” He asked.

“Yes, sir.” The wizard answered, “There was an angel too.”

“An angel?” Kim Joon-Hwi again rose from his chair in excitement.

“An angel and another being with black wings; which we couldn’t identify yet.”

Kim Joon-Hwi didn’t show any interest at the other creatures. He said, more to himself than anyone, “That means, Yoongi had finally found the angel.”

There was a moment of silent. Hesitantly, the wizard asked his boss, “Sir, what do we do next?”

“We don’t.” Kim Joon-Hwi replied. There was a faint smirk visible on his face, “They come to us.”

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After hours of discussion on their upcoming mission, they all settled down to have a dinner on the floor, since there was no table available. Jungkook wasn’t eating anything. Instead he kept looking at Hoseok with his big doe eyes full of wonder.

“What are you looking at?” Hoseok asked while chewing on a buttered bun.

Jungkook hesitated, “I’ve always imagined angels wearing white clothes.”

“And we do.” Hoseok responded, “In heaven we wear nothing but white; which goes pretty well with our white wings. But since I came to earth, I’ve discovered all these colorful stuffs people wear. And I absolutely love them. So, I tried them on since my wings are invisible most of the times here.”

Jungkook nodded his head while Namjoon remarked, “Well, you should have been more careful in choosing what colors go well together. Splashing random colors aimlessly at a canvas doesn’t create art.”

“I think they do. People here call them ‘abstract arts’” Seokjin said, “Anyway, I like Hoseok’s style of clothing more than yours. Your aesthetic goes with Yoongi, I believe.” Both Namjoon and Yoongi ignored his attempt at insulting them.

Taehyung asked Hoseok, “So, what are you doing on earth? Mommy told me that angels live in heaven.”

“She’s right!” Hoseok answered. He’s more than happy to explain about his home, “Most of our lives, we live there in heaven. But every now and then, we are send down to earth for a purpose.”

“What’s that?” Taehyung asked, listening attentively.

“Well, one of my friends, an angel, came here before me.” His voice doesn’t sound very happy anymore, “But we’ve lost all contacts of him. So, I’ve volunteered to look at the matter. Hence, they allowed me to come on earth.”

“Did you find him?” Taehyung asked once again.

“Nope!” Hoseok said, “I’ve been searching for him for months. At this point, I believe, he had been taken away by OHA. But I didn’t dare fight them alone. I know how much power they hold over all the people here. That’s why, I agreed to join this team. So that I can finally go back home with my friend.”

“I think we should decide upon where to sleep at night.” Yoongi interrupted when Taehyung was about say something more.

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Yoongi woke up early to make breakfast for them all. He was struggling as it was his first time preparing meals for seven very different species at once. He had managed to steal blood for Jungkook from a nearby clinic last night while everyone slept. It was now time to prepare some nutritious protein meals for the rest.

Seokjin came in the kitchen after sometime, “Why didn’t you wake me up? I told you, I’m a very good cook, didn’t I?”

“Please, just go back.” Yoongi said, “I can’t deal with you now.”

Seokjin understood how stressed Yoongi was. He secretly admired him for his attempt to care for the people he had collected for the mission, but barely knew them all. “He is not as cold as he wanted us to believe.” Seokjin thought.

Then, he joined quietly and started to help Yoongi. At first, Yoongi was sulking at his presence. But by the time, they both got comfortable enough to work together smoothly.

“Where’s Hoseok?” Seokjin asked, “I didn’t see him anywhere this morning.”

“Probably sleeping in the couch.” Yoongi said, stirring the soup he was making for Seokjin and himself.

“Namjoon’s in the couch.” Seokjin said.

“Maybe he’s in the bedroom.” Yoongi suggested.

“I slept in the bedroom last night.” Seokjin informed, his voice alarming at this point, “The newbies had joined me too. But not Hoseok. I thought he was sleeping on the floor next to your desk last night.”

Yoongi stopped stirring, his eyes wide, “Yes, he did. Oh my God! Why didn’t I see him when I woke up? Did he escape?”

“We’re not in a prison. Why would I escape?” Hoseok said as he entered the kitchen. He was holding a grocery bag.

“Did you go out?” Yoongi asked earnestly, “All alone? What if something wrong happened? Don’t you know, they had seen us? They know how we look like. They are out there hunting us.”

“Calm down!” Seokjin hold Yoongi by his shoulders as his voice started to raise in panic.

“I’m so sorry. I just thought there wasn’t enough food for everyone. So, I wanted to help.” Hoseok said.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook came inside hearing all the fuss.

“Nobody has to help me, okay?” Yoongi suddenly burst out, “This is my house. I’ll do whatever is necessary. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

Jungkook got out of the kitchen immediately. Seokjin said, “Oh shut up! We all know that’s not true.”

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6 months ago
🥹🤧. I'm At Peace Now.

🥹🤧. I'm at peace now.

2 years ago

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! 💕💕

Good to know I am making someone happy, even if it's only by a fraction. It means a lot. Thanks anon...💜

2 years ago

My Guardian Angel - Part 2

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Fandom: BTS Paring: Min Yoongi x Female Reader Genre: Fluff and slight angst Warning: Age gap, sorry but Yoongi spoils our little mc too much, nightmares, implication of abusive parents, running away from home, kissing (on the cheek), sickness, crying etc. Word Count: 2.8K Words Note: Since the reader is only 15 years old, I reduced Yoongi’s age to be 22. Please keep the age gap in mind before diving in to read. I must say there is nothing explicit in here.

Summary: You start to find happiness in the little things of your everyday routine bound life with the not-so-stranger in your shared home...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

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"Kitten, I'm home." A familiar voice greeted me from the outside while I was inside hiding beside the closed door.

My three most favorite words coming out of the mouth of my favorite person were enough to make even my worst day better. I tried hard to stop myself from giggling and giving away my position to him.

“Shelby, don’t!” I angrily whispered to our dog to stay quiet at her place. But she kept looking in my direction with her tail wagging behind her. I glared at her to stop. There was no time to bring Shelby beside me. Because I could already hear Yoongi opening the door.

And “Bwagh!!!” I yelled at his face right away.

“Ahh!” Yoongi sighed irritably. His eyes closed with a visible frown on his forehead. “How long will you keep this up?” He asked finally.

“Long enough for you to get used to it.” I replied happily. I wondered how stupid he could be for falling for the same old trick dozens of times. Nevertheless, this simple silly act made both of our days better.

As for most of my days, there was nothing exciting going on. Yoongi left everyday early in the morning even before I was awake. He always prepared both breakfast and lunch so that I really had no work to do. The only thing that kept me busy in this house in the middle of nowhere was our dog, Shelby. I would pet her, feed her, play with her and even talk to her from time to time to pass my lonely hours.

And Yoongi would be busy doing carpentry in the nearest town. He would have his lunch outside and would be home before it's too dark. His coming home was the time I wait for everyday since I started living with him. Because everyday I missed his presence beside me terribly.

As soon as he was home, I was happy again. I would start talking about how boring my day went and how much I missed him and what a new trick I had taught Shelby and what an interesting story I read from one of his old books and what a unique insect I had discovered outside and many more.

Despite being exhausted from his work earlier, Yoongi never complained. He listened attentively while doing his usual household chores with me. He rarely interrupted me while I talked but I knew for sure he was listening.

On a normal night, we would go to bed as soon as we were done with our dinner. But sometimes I would make a request to Yoongi to play the guitar for me. And he would be already on the couch ready to play my favorite tune as soon as I rested my head on his lap. Sometimes I would fall asleep and Yoongi would carry me to the bed without waking me up.

He let me have the bed for myself. It was too small for two people. So Yoongi would sleep on a sleeping bag on the floor beside it. I had asked him to let me sleep there instead since it was practically his house. But he refused and stayed firm in his decision.

Even with all the happiness that I never imagined I could experience, it would be a lie to say that I never feared losing it all. I often did. Actually more often than it could be counted as often. Every time I could hear Yoongi’s soft snoring through the quiet night, I would think about my life before him.

I knew that I was a burden on my step father who, after my mother’s death, had clearly shown me in every single way possible that I was unwanted in his house. But he was also very strict and possessive in nature. What if one day he decided that he would search for me?

I dreaded that my step father would find me somehow and all of this would be over. I would no longer be able to see Yoongi. I would no longer know what happiness truly feels like. I would no longer have a place to call home.

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"Don't go anywhere far. I don't have the energy to look for you around the whole town." Yoongi yelled at me as I sprinted out of the grocery store.

"I won't." I replied louder as I went closer to one of my favorite places.

The gift shop.

It was a regular thing at this point. Every weekend, Yoongi would bring me with him to the town to do the week's grocery shopping and after that I was allowed to look through the cheap gift shop nearby. I would find something I liked and Yoongi would buy that for me in the hope of keeping my mood lifted throughout the whole week.

I walked around the small shop and carefully looked for the one thing that could bring me some comfort at times when Yoongi’s not there for me. And the little fox plushie, I assumed, recently came into the shop because I never had seen one here, caught my attention.

“Aren’t you a cutie?" I took the sleeping fox in my arms and cradled it slowly. I realized I had never had a stuffed animal my entire life. Not that I had always wanted one. But the sudden realization made me want to have a stuffed animal for myself.

I sensed Yoongi coming into the shop and I looked back, holding the fox towards him to see.

"So, you've already made up your mind, kitten?" Yoongi took the plushie from me to check it. But there was a frown on his forehead.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Umm... I think we can find something better than this." He returned the baby fox back to its family.

That was a really unexpected reply. Yoongi had never refused to buy me the thing I always chose for myself. I couldn’t even see any defect on it for him to say that. As he walked away from the plushie section, I took the little fox again and the price tag caught my eyes this time.

Hell, no!

"How come something that is too costly ended up at a cheap shop like this one?" I thought to myself. I could tell that my face went red from the embarrassment.

I should have been more understanding. Just because he said he'd buy me anything I liked didn't mean that I could ask for just about anything. That's asking a little too much from him considering how generous he was to me.

So, I picked a colorful key chain and showed it to Yoongi, pretending to be very hyped about it. He simply nodded and got that for me.

On our way home, I couldn't bring myself to talk like I usually did. Yoongi, too, remained too quiet.

The next weekend, Yoongi had to go to work. He said that it was the only time I had to miss going to the town and that he would make sure that it would never happen again. Despite the reassurance, I was kinda mad at him the whole day and decided not to talk to him when he came home.

He came home later than usual, called "Kitten, I'm home" as usual and asked me to put the groceries at the right places.

I, intentionally sulking at his presence, took the bags from him and got to work without any words. Judging by the heavy atmosphere that I had created around the house, he seemed to have understood how I felt. But he stayed quiet nonetheless.

My head was burning at that point. Maybe that was why I made unnecessary noises while doing the simple tasks Yoongi had assigned me to do.

"Oppa!" I couldn't help exclaiming as I noticed the small bag. I had been to the place too many times to know where it came from. And there it was. The little sleeping fox plush, waiting for me to embrace it in my arms.

I waited no longer. I ran towards Yoongi and immediately pulled him in a hug. Unable to say how happy he had made me, I kissed his cheek impulsively instead.

"Aish!" That usual sound of Yoongi whenever he was irritated or at least wanted me to think that he was.

But in a split second, his face beamed and he accidently flashed a gummy smile. Not to be exaggerating but it was a sight worth dying for. Yoongi's face changed, with that his whole demeanor changed as well. He looked like a completely different person when he smiled like that.

So, I had to say it, "Had I known it before, I would have kissed you all day and night, only for you to smile like that."

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The only time I remembered going on a vacation was when I was a child and my father was alive at the time. We had gone to stay by the sea for a week. Even though most of the memories were faded, I could still see my father’s happy face in my mind sometimes.

This time it was the desert in contrast to the sea. Yoongi had planned to take a few days off from work and take me on a hike. I had never been so excited to look forward to something. We packed our stuff, got in his jeep and drove off.

The place looked so lively with many plants of vibrant colors. There were small and big mountains. The huge golden field stretched ahead of us. Yoongi parked his car at a side and we got off with our bags. After some hours of walking past the rocky mountains we found a suitable place to camp for the night.

I was excited at the prospect of sleeping in the open sky. Something about seeing the galaxy all night told me that it was a rare experience only a few fortunates could afford. I got another new reason to be grateful to Yoongi for the rest of my life.

“Oppa!” I called to check if he was already asleep since we had a long day.

“Hmm?” he replied.

“What does it feel like to look at the sky and you can see a part of eternity ahead of you?”

“Umm…” He thought for a moment before answering, “I don’t know! What do you feel about it?”

“I feel small. I feel insignificant. I feel…” I stopped and glanced at him, expecting a reaction.

He was still looking at the sky earnestly but hummed quietly at my response. It felt like I didn’t need to explain it further. Yoongi understood.

“Oppa!” I hesitantly called again, “Would you mind if I ask you something?”

“Ask away!” He shot me a pretending-to-be-annoying look and turned back to the sky.

I gulped before asking, “Why do you live alone?”

“For peace.” He sighed.

“I don't think I understand.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for some time and I felt like I shouldn’t have pushed the boundary. So, I turned on the other side and closed my eyes.

As I was dozing off, I could hear Yoongi’s deep soothing voice. He talked as if he was living the memory that he was speaking of. My tired eyes couldn’t cooperate. But my ears were all awoken.

“I was about your age, kitten, when I ran away from my parents seven years ago. Until now I never regretted that decision even though there were times I actually missed them. Because it was the only way i could bear to live with a sane mind. Solitary life offers you a kind of peace you wouldn’t know you needed until you can experience it. But…”

He stopped suddenly. I wanted to ask him to continue. I wanted to know what could be the ‘but’ when he himself said that he didn’t regret it. Apparently I didn’t need to. Because Yoongi spoke the rest of the words in a muffled voice as he fixed his posture to a comforting sleeping position.

“I never realized that it was happiness that I lacked in my life apart from peace. That was until I met you.”

His words kept me up through most of the night.

The next morning, it turned out I had a severe dust allergy. So, I woke up with a swollen face and a tight throat. The horror in Yoongi’s eyes as he realized something was wrong with me was another new thing I discovered his neutral face could do.

My feet were blistered from walking in the heat last day. So, after walking almost half of the way, Yoongi had to give me a piggyback ride until we reached his jeep.

I rested my head on his shoulders as he walked slowly carrying my weight on his back. And I spoke quietly in his ears.

“It was the same for me too, Oppa. I realized I can finally rely on someone without having to feel like a burden.”

image

I could hear the usual sound of the car being parked outside. I sprinted out of my room in no second to greet Yoongi. But instead I saw the man I was the most scared of before me. It was my step father.

“Long time, no see, huh?” He grinned at me with his disgusting rotten teeth.

“H… how d… did you find me?” I stammered as I took a step back.

“C’mon, now! Is that the way you greet your father?” The man began to walk towards me.

“Stop!” I yelled. “You’re not my father.” I wanted to scream it on his face but couldn’t bring myself to do so.

“Quit the game. It’s time to go home.” He quickly grabbed onto my wrist before I could turn back to run.

“Let go of me.” I screamed. “I’m not going anywhere from here.”

No matter how much I screamed or pleaded, he seemed to take no notice of that. He kept dragging me towards his van. I tried hard to fight him. But he was way too strong.

“Oppa!” I tried calling for Yoongi in vain. I knew he wouldn’t be able to hear me. He was miles away at work. He didn’t even know anything about the existence of my cruel step father.

As soon as he threw me inside his van I tried to get up and escape. But he grabbed onto my hair and pulled me back inside. I screeched my lungs out as a sharp pain ran through my head.

I woke up panting and drenched in sweat. I must have screamed in real life because Yoongi was already beside me, trying to read from my face just how bad of a nightmare I had.

I tried to speak but my breath was hitched, as always, whenever I cried. Yoongi moved a little closer and I threw myself at him, hugging him by his neck and sobbing loudly on his chest.

My grip on him tightened as he tried to move. I couldn’t let him go from my sight. I couldn’t let my nightmare come to reality.

Yoongi hugged me back and stayed that way for quite some time before whispering softly in my ears.

“Kitten!” He said, “I’m not going anywhere. Just give me a minute, okay?”

I sniffed and nodded my head as I released my hold on his neck. Yoongi went to the patio and came back quickly with his guitar. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

Yoongi started to play a soft tune. It was a new one. I hadn’t heard him playing it before. I grabbed a pillow and leaned on the side of the bed. Then I closed my eyes to absorb the music. I noticed that it made me feel relaxed within a minute and I was able to speak again. He really knew how to calm me down.

Something that I had come to notice was that Yoongi never talked unless he knew for sure I was ready to speak again. So I had to make the first move. And I calculated just what to ask for in my head before I spoke.

“Oppa! I have a favor to ask for.” I stated quietly. I knew Yoongi wouldn’t be able to refuse.

He stopped the music and looked towards me. I said, “Can you please lie beside me until I sleep? Just tonight? I swear I won’t ask again.”

Yoongi closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration, “Aish! This girl and her whining. Yah!” He scolded me, still speaking softly though, “Don’t you think I’m spoiling you a little too much? You’re always asking for favors. How old do you think you are?...”

His rant went on about as much time as it took for him to make the bed. Then he lied in the corner, making an irritated face. I smilingly joined him without a word. Even though he would say that he didn’t like to be touched, he was undoubtedly the best cuddling partner one could ever wish for.

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1 year ago

This monologue was everything...🩷

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

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