Teehee Me When Miss P And I Are Transforming Into Our Bird Forms Mid Fight 😼

Last Night’s Shift Recap

So!

I ended up shifting to an alternate version of my CR, one where I didn’t shift to my WR, but I’m one step closer!!

Last night was really rough, since I normally shift while I’m sleeping (it’s the only time my body is truly fully relaxed, because ya know, chronic anxiety and adhd lmao)

but surprise surprise I couldn’t fall asleep at ALL last night, I kept tossing and turning and had this horrible gut feeling that something was wrong, it wasn’t about shifting, but something else that I couldn’t quite put

I ended up falling asleep for a couple minutes, and in which I had a horrible nightmare (which is usual for me as I grew up with repeated nightmares, they aren’t fun :[ but it’s okay!)

so now I’m standing at my bus stop, thinking of those waffles, so I’m probably just gonna shift during the school day or something, I don’t wanna be here 😭

thanks for tuning in!!! I’ll let you guys know how it goes :D

(p.s. I got an algebra II ACL test today, send prayers 😭🙏)

okay bye-bye!!!

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this is so Emmacore

hmmm this reminds me of something..peculiar?

*lick*

*chomp*

(TW:venting)

I’m so tired, like so dead tired right now

I’ve gotten sick 3 times in the last 3 months, barely gotten any rest from it because my family somehow always throws endless tasks at me whenever I end up sick, and I’m not allowed to miss school either so I never end up fully recovering

I’ve had 35-40 nose bleeds in the span of 3 weeks, now I have to go to an ENT specialist to find out if I have to get cauterized, which is extremely painful

I keep having my own personal doubts about myself and my own insecurities, like whether I’m good enough, or if me friends actually care for me, etc

I don’t like going deep into my personal life, especially with my family, it’s a very complicated life with them but I love them so dearly that I feel so guilty whenever I feel upset with them

it’s so loud here, every little sound and movement ticks me off, I have an endless migraine and I’m sick of the school nurses looking at me with pity or thinking I’m lying to get out of class

and I’m so fucking sick and tired and being treated like I’m stupid. I’m in all honor classes, I learned how to be a therapist for my family when I was younger than fucking 5, I basically raised my older brother, I work so hard. And then people treat me like I’m stupid in the areas I’m actually working and doing well in, like I don’t know anything. Like I’m a stupid little girl in their eyes and I hate it.

when I finally shut down and tell people how I feel, they laugh and think I’m overreacting or that it doesn’t matter, that everything will be okay

and not everything has been okay, but I’m so thankful for the things that are. I’m thankful for my best friends, my absolutely amazing boyfriend, and family even though they have their problems, my school and my education, my hope in my health getting better, and especially shifting. There are so many good things going on in my life but when I get like this all I can focus on are the bad and negative and the pain and hurt.

I just want to sleep, I just want to rest, I just want to go home, I want to be with my found family, I miss my mom, I miss my waiting room, I miss my pets, I miss them so bad

I almost shifted today, I took a nap and the second before my alarm went off to go to theater I saw my waiting room and almost started balling tears.

that moment made me realize how much I need to be home right now, I need to rest, I need to breathe.

to whomever took the time to read this, I appreciate you for hearing me. I don’t get to express my emotions much, but I appreciate you

take care of yourself, and whomever you are, I love you, you deserve love, and if you feel like how I’m feeling right now, you deserve it all the more <3

Thank you, and good night <3

Ask me these and I'll answer as my DRself!

favorite color

favorite food

favorite animal

age

where I want to live

favorite signs of affection

favorite forms of transportation

do I know any languages besides English?

favorite person!

book genre?

favorite time-period I've lived through

opinions on punishment loops

family relations?

pets!

favorite past times in 1940's

I'm only putting 15 questions for right now but if you like these let me know!! Feel free to ask or repost if you want to use these questions too :D

maladaptive daydreaming child to reality shifting teen pipeline needs to be studied

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

Angst early in the morning? Sign me up!

TW: talk of death, coping skills, grief, difficulty

The immediate life after Victor died:

We were all in shock, especially Wyn, and that resulted in us being completely nonverbal for about a month and a half. All that was heard in our home were wails and sniffling, and I would often wake up to Wyn, Olive, and Claire curled up to me on my bed with my cats.

It was awful.

Everyone wore mourning clothes for 3-4 years after, but Miss P still wears them in respect, and also the fact I know she hasn't gotten over it. I don't think any of us have

I remember Fiona and Hugh taking care of his side of the garden and bringing him fresh flowers to his room each day

Enoch had passed out multiple times a week of exhaustion from overusing his peculiarity, everyone, especially Bronwyn, begged him to revive Vic for even just a moment.

Horace sewed Victor a 7-day wardrobe completely by himself, and Miss P would change his clothes each day (while she sobbed, seeing her like that broke me, I would hold her tightly to help)

Olive and Claire wouldn't leave each other's side, every moment they spent together because of the fear they had of losing more family

Millard made an entire biography on Victor's life and keeps it by Vic's bedside table

Emma was very aggressive, she would burn down trees and scream a lot (outside of the house), part of her was having a difficult time knowing the truth of their lives and the loss of our dear friend

Miss P wouldn't allow me to run errands for her outside the loop for a while after that, she was completely terrified of losing anyone else

She became so overprotective that she would scan the house all hours of the day & night, as an ymbryne it is common to only have 2 hours of sleep, but even she was pushing it to 30 minutes.

I would consistently try to use my feathers to save him, I was so distraught that I would end up turning back to dust once a week from using all of my feathers. By the 10th time I had "dusted" (I use this term for when I turn into ash as a pheonix and then revive after another 24 hours) Miss P begged me to stop because it was starting to hurt me even more

What brought me to creating this post was the dream I had last night; it was during the 3-4 years we had spent mourning, in the dream I awoke next to Victor lying in his bed, I was bent over myself, clutching feathers, when Bronwyn and Enoch came in to carry me off to my bed, and then I woke up from the dream crying.

Happy Friday the 13th!