Its Like I Starved For Control But Then Remembered That My Body Exists And I Starved For Weight Loss

my aunt and godmother just died

on that note

while going over your calories is not necessarily a binge, you do not get to decide what binging is for other people!

i’ve seen comments saying “not even 2000 calories is a binge” dude. it’s not about numbers. you can’t put a number on restriction - someone can be anorexic at 0 calories, at 200, at 800, at 1000, at 3000+ because it’s not about the numbers that you eat, it’s your mindset

binging is uncontrollable eating, past the point of fullness, into the point of pain, but it can also be mindless, thoughtless over eating when you don’t want to eat

numbers do not make up your binge. don’t think that because you didn’t reach a certain amount of calories, doesn’t mean you didn’t binge. same as restricting. just because someone went further, doesn’t mean you didn’t go at all

I can't find my sheet music anywhere :(

Got logged out of my EA account today and I can't remember my passwords (plus the email address I used is inactive now). Guess even my computer thinks I should stop fucking procrastinating and WORK because there's literally nothing fun I can do anymore besides that now that I can't play Sims anymore (cuz it's too late for music and I have an injury that flares up sometimes and it's huuurts right now, so I can't even work out and my friend is not responding even though we wanted to call this evening)

i feel so gross knowing i ate all the food on my plate but they didn’t even make a dent in theirs. like hello wdym

I can't believe I was actually considering thinking about thinking to consider recovery, when my siblings apparently see me the way they do - and if all it took was that and a good scroll through Tumblr then I guess I really wouldn't be ready at all

Bought these protein bars today

I'm planning to have one for breakfast each day next week, because I need to fucking stop binging once I get home from school and maybe eating something before school will help

Why eat food, anyway, when I can have Monster?

Okay but why do I actually kinda love writing essays