Casual Life Update: My Grandparents, Lovely Retired Farm Folk, In Their 90s, Very Religious. They Say

Lemme share a story with you.

I got my first laptop as part of my school-provided college gear back in the day and back then the only places for fanfiction were either niche circles where each author had their own website that hosted their works and a small selection of other authors who were their friends all connected by hyperlink... Or fanfiction.net.

It was wild times on the Internet, my friend. It was very difficult to keep track of stories.

But! I visited home after some time and mentioned to my little brother that my computer was running slow. He, being the more tech-minded of us, volunteered to check it out, so I opened it up and brought up a new tab for him to look stuff up if needed.

It was not needed.

"Deadname." My brother was taking very calming breaths. "I know having multiple tabs open is convenient... But you should not have so many that they look like a Mario SPIKE PIT!"

Zero lessons have been learned since then, but it was very funny to watch his face changing colors.

I be like: I wonder why these pages are taking so long to load :/

My thirteen opened tabs:

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Meanwhile, the youngest Madara is frowning at the both of them. His older self pats his cheek, his smile matching that of his counterpart, "Don't worry, you'll understand someday." He narrows his eyes and carefully does not mention how hard the other man had gotten during the eldest's threat. (Even less needs to be said about his own intense arousal)

"There's a slight difference, then. I have no issue watching my lover explore himself as long as I am involved in some way, and I am very fond of watching..." He tilts his head as best he can while in the alternate's violent grip. "I do wonder why you're not over there, then. Surely one of them would be distracted away from yours if you gave them something nice to play with."

It is strangely uplifting to know that he isn't the only one who is so inappropriately attached to his lover.

-

SugarTobi and youngTobi shiver and aren't sure what caused the chill that had simultaneously run down their spines. Then again, youngTobi isn't aware of very much at the moment as he cuddles closer and begins to sloppily kiss his way up gvTobi's chest. SugarTobi laughs quietly and pulls the younger away to kiss him. He motions with his hand and catches his alternate's attention.

"You good to keep going? I think this one is, at least."

I would like to announce that my little brother is a little bitch (nongendered) and I love him dearly.

I was texting him about a recent tragic realization about strawberries. And this little fucker who stole my height and testosterone from before the womb goes:

Little Bro: so that's bananas, pecans, milk, and strawberries

LB: all hurt your mouth

LB: gonna need to Kevorkian you with a banana split in a few years at this rate

Anyway I called him a cunt and I feel justified in that action. We love each other very much.

And that's very much how I see current Tim and Damien's relationship with each other. It's fun to playfully hate on a sibling who can bite back. It's flyting, but without the poetry.

Fucking LOVING this energy, yes, thank you, this is a great take on a classic trope!

Jason would be so frustrated. He's kept his secret identity, but at what cost? I can only imagine the ribbing he'd get from his team once they find out, let alone the other Bats.

Now I'm thinking of the next inevitable invasion where all hands are on deck and half the League is wondering why Jason is still dressed as the Red Hood and the other half is wondering if the Bats don't know that that's Jason.

My favorite fic trope is the "JLA meets the batfam because they arrested Jason as he was undercover and now the family is coming to pick him up" one, but imagine. Jason gets arrested by the JLA while undercover, and is brought in for questioning, but before any of the batfam members even notice that he is gone, Green Arrow walks into the interrogation room.

"It's okay, Superman, you can let him go."

"Green Arrow, Red Hood is a wanted criminal on the JLA:s most wanted list-"

"What? No, no he isn't, that's just Jason."

Superman stares. Jason stares too.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, that's just Jason, my son-in-law. You can let him go."

"...your son-in-law is the Red Hood?"

"No? Jason's not the Red Hood, he is just dressed as the Red Hood. He's in a mercenary group with my son, he does that. It's pretty easy to dress up as someone who doesn't show their face for a job. Jason's no Red Hood, let me tell you that. Or I guess I don't have to tell you that, since you've already arrested him."

Jason's not really sure if he wants to murder Oliver or not.

Superman stares. Oliver raises a brow.

"So? Can I have him back, please, we have a family dinner today and we're already a bit late."

"...sure."

Jason gets let out. Oliver throws an arm around his shoulders as they walk towards the zeta tubes.

"I hate you, Queen."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

JLA does leave Jason alone after that, though, because every time they see him outside of Gotham, they just go "oh that's just Jason dressed up as the Red Hood again, move on" and Jason doesn't know if he should be annoyed or not. It does make his work easier, but at the same time, it somehow feels like an insult.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Madara snarls, just barely stopping himself from wrenching Tobirama's foot away from his face, still very mindful of how he himself would react if this was his Tobi. What the actual fuck?

"I don't have a goddamn problem with blindness; I have a problem with you hurting yourself, you idiot! We all saw what happened to your arms when you took the seals off, and you said yourself that wounds don't always heal correctly. Being blind doesn't matter!" He grits his teeth and risks a glance at his Tobi, who seems to be coming out of subspace as a result of the wildly flowing chakra.

Madara clamps down on his own, forcing it under his control. The youngest one is still under and that...that's probably for the best right now. His Tobi can keep him safe, using his own chakra to block out the aggression coming from the rest of them. He speaks more carefully, lowering his voice to a more acceptable level.

"Fuck. Just. Fine. If you're into hurting like that...you know your limits. I just didn't expect you to start unsealing old wounds all of a sudden. I didn't even know those were seals; Tobi's are just tattoos."

The youngest Madara seems amazingly uncomfortable, but he nods along. He wonders if this Tobirama had lost his sight to the same people who had scarred his Tobirama's face and the thought makes something burn in his chest.

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes there has been a failure to communicate; SugarTobis were not blind from birth like he was.]

[gvMadara changes the subject via felating gvTobi's fingers. It's super effective!]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

"Nooo?" SugarMadara sits back on his heels. "You are...it doesn't hurt you, then?"

Embarrassment tries to take a hold of him and a red flush makes its way over his face. He isn't sure why; he had had a perfectly logical reason for thinking that this Tobirama had been wounded.

He looks over at his boy apologetically and winces. His Tobi has had a history of subdrop when brought out unexpectedly and...he seems to be holding it together for his younger self's sake. Madara knows that look, though, recognizes the tightness around the eyes and the way he's curling in on himself.

He reaches out to wave him and his other self in closer as the oldest Madara very effectively distracts his Tobirama.

"Hey, Tobi, it's okay now, come a little closer; I Want to give you a good show. I bet that younger you is wanting to watch, too. How about you let him rut against you while we give you something pretty to look at?"

Mood.

Actually though, now I kinda want a shawl patterned after Discowing's outfit. That looks kinda comfy.

Relatable

Free Comic Book Day is coming up, bro! May 3 is the best time to get a stash of the real goods or PDFs on sale!

Pirating is wallet-friendly, but discourages creators. I encourage at minimum the middle route where people can pre-read their comics and then buy them later when they can.

I be like: I wonder why these pages are taking so long to load :/

My thirteen opened tabs:

You know what? I love this. I hope that the writers put that amount of thought into the show and the characters.

It also occurs to me quite suddenly that a future Batman writer is going to have Batwheels as their first introduction to the characters. That is going to be interesting...

Well, I didn't expect Batwheels to reveal that Penguin is apparently a singer. Or that he got music lessons as a kid and has this weird proclivity for liking music. But I guess it makes sense. It's a fun thing for the kids, but it also makes some sense for The Penguin. For one thing, music is sometimes seen as an upper class thing. Look at opera and everything. But also: a lot of Penguin's actors have been singers. Paul Williams had a whole career in that. Jess Harnell and Tom Kenny don't do music for a living, but they can sing if a show requires them to, Danny DeVito did a song for Disney's Hercules, etc. So it makes some small amount of sense, I suppose.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Cool water is pressed to his lips and the youngest Tobi shivers as he docilely sips it directly from the older man's hand. He feels overheated, his throat aches, there is an uncomfortable wetness in his fundoshi, and his mind is more clear than it has ever felt before. He presses himself against the man in before him, holding onto him while he waits for his legs to regain their strength. Someone crouches next to him and begins patting his head comfortingly, "So good, you did so well, that was beautiful..."

SugarMadara smiles softly and a little bit ruefully. Between those two, this younger version of his lover will be more than fine as he rides out his first high. He wishes he had been able to do that for his own lover, but that regret is an old friend by now.

"My attitude got me my Tobi; yours would have surely frightened him off..." Or not. He is well aware of how fragile his Tobirama had been when they had begun dating. It is uncomfortably possible that this other Madara could have pushed him enough to pull an emotional attachment out of the broken man. Whether this version could have kept up with the myriad of issues that accompanied Tobirama outside the bedroom is what would make the difference.

His younger self glances at him, possibly noticing the change in his elder's mood.

He is very quiet as he responds to the eldest's likely rhetorical question. No need for the Tobis to hear this, even if he is certain his own already knows.

"I have worked very hard to keep my lover happy because I am so very bad at letting go. Once I truly began to think of him as mine..." Madara grimaces, but if anyone could understand, it would be other versions of him.

"I will not give him a reason to leave me, because he will never be allowed to leave me. As long as I keep him happy and safe, as long as he loves me, I won't need to make him stay at my side."